Just for Laughs

This is a true story. I used to work at a book store. There happen to be a sign on the column on the aisle where the bibles where located. The sign had an arrow pointing toward the fire extinguisher.
I used to get a kick when someone would ask me where the bibles were located. I would point to the sign and say, "Over there where it says, Fire Extinguisher".

[size=+2]postcancel[/size]

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect you to pay it back.

A florist had this on the sign outside of the shop...Save a scarecrow...garden naked.

Biker Bar

There I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a really big, trouble-making biker stepped up next to me, grabbed my drink and gulped it down in one swig.

"Well. watcha gonna to do about it?" he said menacingly as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man" he said, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life." I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found that my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me, so I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, drop the capsule in it and was sitting here watching the poison dissolve when you show up and drink the whole thing! But that's enough about me, how's your day going?"

( All you legalist folks will have to forgive me for that one -- I received it today in an e-mail -- It tickled my funny bone, and I just had to share it! Of course, today has been a very strange one, for some reason... )

How do you get an 80 year old woman to yell out a cuss word? Get another 80 year old woman to yell out BINGO!

Can i be of any help, brother? Pm if you want?