Hello Blue Ladybug - I so appreciate your post and description of what you've been through. I expected you to be older and was surprised at only 43. I've suffered from serious anxiety/depression my entire life. Most of my life [I'm 71] there was no discussion or even recognition of this condition - not until 15 years ago when it came to the fore and medication was available. It was difficult enough dealing with my condition, but with no help and so much denial of any problem existing, I have no idea how I made it this far. In my later years, I did get therapy and medication, but saw no real improvement until 4 years ago when I turned my life over to God. Since then, my life has improved, but I struggle with the aftereffects of so many years of anxiety and depression. Finances suffered, relationships suffered, and on and on - and rebuilding at my age is not easy. However, I'm finding many young people who come to me and I can respond to them with hope and understanding - so maybe this is why I am where I am and have been where I've been. Please keep open to others as you are doing because you may not even be aware how much you can impact someone who is struggling with this and trying to hold on to life. God Bless you.