Any tips or Advise to remove shyness in meeting people

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V

valbernados

Guest
#1
#1
It's been my struggle to introduce myslef to girls in other churches. I do not know what to say or how to keep the conversation going. Any advice in what to do if you see a girl whom you like to befriend in another church. If I will have a breakthrough on this, maybe it will be easier the next time around...

thanks... =)
 
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Grimaldus

Banned
#2
Mar 26, 2009
249
0
0
#2
I have the same problem, even when I have nothing to lose and everything to gain from aproaching a girl, I can't do it. Don't know why.
 
V

valbernados

Guest
#3
#3
Grimaldus said:
I have the same problem, even when I have nothing to lose and everything to gain from aproaching a girl, I can't do it. Don't know why.
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It's good to know that we are not alone.hehe. BUt have you read the book Wild at Heart? Maybe these struggles are part of the intiations that God wants for us. I have also read it there that as a knight to a princess, you have to fight for her. And maybe part of that is to face this fear of meeting them... It's hard, as if the whole world is watching whenever I approach a girl.
 
G

Grimaldus

Banned
#4
Mar 26, 2009
249
0
0
#4
valbernados said:
It's good to know that we are not alone.hehe. BUt have you read the book Wild at Heart? Maybe these struggles are part of the intiations that God wants for us. I have also read it there that as a knight to a princess, you have to fight for her. And maybe part of that is to face this fear of meeting them... It's hard, as if the whole world is watching whenever I approach a girl.
Click to expand...
It's plenty scary enough for me that just she will be watching me :p
 
V

valbernados

Guest
#5
#5
Grimaldus said:
It's plenty scary enough for me that just she will be watching me :p
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Yeah, that's right. I hope a socially inclined person will jpin us here.hehe..
But one maybe of the way to battle it, is to think that you have no intention to court her first. You and her will just be friends. If you have that in mind, thinking she is just like your cousin or girl friend at church, maybe it will loosen up.

Because for me, when I talk to someone whom I'm not attracted, the fear is not there.. what do you think?
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#6
#6
Okay you two listen up here... gonna school you in this ...... Sometimes you gotta do things that make you uncomfortable.... For instance makin that first go and walkin up to a girl and talkin to her... Conversation starters...... if you dont know the girl... start obviously by sayin hi.. then tell her your name and ask her what her name is.... Ask her questions. make it about her not you. What school does she go to... What does she like to do for fun... now if all of her answers are one words.... one of two things is goin on.... shes either shy or she really is NOT intrested and in that case.. if it turns out to be the latter of the two... take the hint and waaalk away. Theres no magic key thats gonna get you up off your butt and over there to talk to the girl.. you gotta get up enough nerve to just do it.. Make sure to smile... its reassuring.. ACT intrested in what shes sayin, even if your bored silly.. dont show it .. dont be starin off all over the place either ... LOOK AT HER... .. be nice women love nice... but not fake nice... there also good at spotting fake.. and believe you me...... they do NOT like that! Now you gotta be smart about this if a girl is with like a whooole bunch of her friends.. .proobably not the best idea to go talk to her especially if your nervous.... get her when she's by herself..... I'll say this over and over again.. being shy will NEVER get a man anywhere, and it makes you seem so totally disintrested and is a big put off..... so dont be afraid .. its easy! Its that inital scary actually gotta walk up to them kinda thing... above all BEEE YOURSELF!
 
G

Grimaldus

Banned
#7
Mar 26, 2009
249
0
0
#7
SamIam said:
Okay you two listen up here... gonna school you in this ...... Sometimes you gotta do things that make you uncomfortable.... For instance makin that first go and walkin up to a girl and talkin to her... Conversation starters...... if you dont know the girl... start obviously by sayin hi.. then tell her your name and ask her what her name is.... Ask her questions. make it about her not you. What school does she go to... What does she like to do for fun... now if all of her answers are one words.... one of two things is goin on.... shes either shy or she really is NOT intrested and in that case.. if it turns out to be the latter of the two... take the hint and waaalk away. Theres no magic key thats gonna get you up off your butt and over there to talk to the girl.. you gotta get up enough nerve to just do it.. Make sure to smile... its reassuring.. ACT intrested in what shes sayin, even if your bored silly.. dont show it .. dont be starin off all over the place either ... LOOK AT HER... .. be nice women love nice... but not fake nice... there also good at spotting fake.. and believe you me...... they do NOT like that! Now you gotta be smart about this if a girl is with like a whooole bunch of her friends.. .proobably not the best idea to go talk to her especially if your nervous.... get her when she's by herself..... I'll say this over and over again.. being shy will NEVER get a man anywhere, and it makes you seem so totally disintrested and is a big put off..... so dont be afraid .. its easy! Its that inital scary actually gotta walk up to them kinda thing... above all BEEE YOURSELF!
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But I did get a "Key" once, a girl I had a crush on for three years began to talk to me. I could even keep up conversation. I just couldn't do anything with it. I was nice. I was polite. I was genuinely interested in nearly everything she had to say. Where did I go wrong?
 
C

chelsers

Guest
#8
#8
Honestly, I'm always impressed when a guy makes the first moves, it takes guts. It doesn't matter if he seems nervous or stumbles over his words and if it matters to a girl she's probably not someone you want to pursue anywho.
 
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SamIam

Guest
#9
#9
thats not a key..... that just so happend that the girl came up and talked to you..When i say key i mean like something thats gonna all of a sudden make you wanna stop bein shy and talk to a girl........okay so you were nice to this girl and polite... what happend did she all of a sudden just stop talkin to you or somethin...
 
V

valbernados

Guest
#10
#10
SamIam said:
Okay you two listen up here... gonna school you in this ...... Sometimes you gotta do things that make you uncomfortable.... For instance makin that first go and walkin up to a girl and talkin to her... Conversation starters...... if you dont know the girl... start obviously by sayin hi.. then tell her your name and ask her what her name is.... Ask her questions. make it about her not you. What school does she go to... What does she like to do for fun... now if all of her answers are one words.... one of two things is goin on.... shes either shy or she really is NOT intrested and in that case.. if it turns out to be the latter of the two... take the hint and waaalk away. Theres no magic key thats gonna get you up off your butt and over there to talk to the girl.. you gotta get up enough nerve to just do it.. Make sure to smile... its reassuring.. ACT intrested in what shes sayin, even if your bored silly.. dont show it .. dont be starin off all over the place either ... LOOK AT HER... .. be nice women love nice... but not fake nice... there also good at spotting fake.. and believe you me...... they do NOT like that! Now you gotta be smart about this if a girl is with like a whooole bunch of her friends.. .proobably not the best idea to go talk to her especially if your nervous.... get her when she's by herself..... I'll say this over and over again.. being shy will NEVER get a man anywhere, and it makes you seem so totally disintrested and is a big put off..... so dont be afraid .. its easy! Its that inital scary actually gotta walk up to them kinda thing... above all BEEE YOURSELF!
Click to expand...
Thanks bro. May I ask, do you think it is ok to give her signs that you are not just after the friendship in the first conversation, or is it automatic in a girl that if a guy asks her, it do mean a romantic relationship?
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#11
#11
chelsers said:
Honestly, I'm always impressed when a guy makes the first moves, it takes guts. It doesn't matter if he seems nervous or stumbles over his words and if it matters to a girl she's probably not someone you want to pursue anywho.
Click to expand...

thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank you! thats exactly what im sayin!!! Girls are always totally impressed with that!!
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#12
#12
valbernados said:
Thanks bro. May I ask, do you think it is ok to give her signs that you are not just after the friendship in the first conversation, or is it automatic in a girl that if a guy asks her, it do mean a romantic relationship?
Click to expand...

If you have NEVER talked to a girl before and all the sudden you go up to her and start talkin to her and tellin her you wanna be more than friends with her..... yeaaaah not a good idea...
 
G

Grimaldus

Banned
#13
Mar 26, 2009
249
0
0
#13
SamIam said:
thats not a key..... that just so happend that the girl came up and talked to you..When i say key i mean like something thats gonna all of a sudden make you wanna stop bein shy and talk to a girl........okay so you were nice to this girl and polite... what happend did she all of a sudden just stop talkin to you or somethin...
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No, she transfered schools
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#14
#14
Okay...... so then there you go... obviously it had nothing to do with you.... she transfered schools... Also i mean you can be as nice and polite as you want, but if its just not there for a girl.. its not there you know.... theres gotta be spark! AND personality... if your just nice and polite.. sometimes thats boring.. depends on the woman.... and what kinda guy she likes
 
V

valbernados

Guest
#16
#16
chelsers said:
Honestly, I'm always impressed when a guy makes the first moves, it takes guts. It doesn't matter if he seems nervous or stumbles over his words and if it matters to a girl she's probably not someone you want to pursue anywho.
Click to expand...
Hello... What do you think will turn you off in a guy's first conversation or introuduction to you?
Is it his lack of self-confidence?
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#17
#17
Your welcome...... anytime!
 
C

chelsers

Guest
#18
#18
valbernados said:
Thanks bro. May I ask, do you think it is ok to give her signs that you are not just after the friendship in the first conversation, or is it automatic in a girl that if a guy asks her, it do mean a romantic relationship?
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Ask her out to dinner/coffee etc. If she's interested, she'll say yes, if she's not well, you get the idea. The whole sign thing just complicates things. I know it's not easy and we all fear rejection but being up front is the best way to go. And there's usually no mincing words, a date is a date.
 
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chelsers

Guest
#19
#19
valbernados said:
Hello... What do you think will turn you off in a guy's first conversation or introuduction to you?
Is it his lack of self-confidence?
Click to expand...
If a guy isn't up front that's the biggest turn off. Just be up front and ask a girl out. I'm sure some may think that's too forward, I don't know why. Why waste the time and go around in circles?
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#20
#20
Remember every girl is different to.. so what one may like... the other may not.
 
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