Sex before marriage question

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cooly22

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I've gotten into my first real relationship where the guy im with is in for a long term relationship but im not entirley sure because i know once i got off to college i want to start my own life. Anyways he's been really pressuring me into sex even though i've always wanted to wait till marriage but now im changing my mind but worried if i give in ill be a bad person. Im not sure what to do, i want to be with him but i;ve always been taught that it's wrong plus this guy doesn't care to wait, he says he's waited enough and just wants to have sex. What should i do?
 
Dont give in, wait till marriage, and tell him if he cant wait nope, because lots of boys just wanna have sex and then break up because youthful lusts and etc etc, follow Jesus on this and avoid the temptation and sin.

Also i just realized you are 16: TOO YOUNG, recall the teen pregnancy and if that isnt enough think about the possiblity i just stated.

It honestly sounds like the man is using you for sex, and again, tell him no and if he goes crazy or something you should probably keep distance from him and consider ending the relationship (if it gets way out of hand though).

Otherwise, you should probably try to get him to go to Church and read the bible and follow Jesus (IDEAL)... but be carefull

Better to avoid sex before marriage, plenty of topics on this in the singles section and such!

Other reasons:

It shows that he or you cannot wait until you both are committed to each other, which means that this relationship could potentially turn sour fast if strained or tested, and it shows that this relationship is not based upon love but lust, which indeed leads to sins and such.

Avoid promiscuity and follow Jesus today!
 
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It is sin to have sex before marriage. If he really loves you...he should respect your decision to wait. I'm a virgin and I made a promise to wait for my future wife. How awesome would it be to tell you future wife or husband...that you waited all your life to give them their life-long love gift. And you dont want to regret anything if you had sex. Its just better to wait.
 
YOU ARE ONLY 16!Sex before marriage is wrong. If you feel the temptation, ask God to help you.
When u choose to have sex before marriage, u settle for less than God's perfect will for yourself and for ur partner. And if you do this, u don't know what u might end up with.
There are always consequences to sin. Some of those effects can be devastating. An unwanted pregnancy, a decision to have an abortion, broken relationships, these are just a few of the possible outcomes you face when u choose to have sex before marriage.
So you should be sure to consider the effect of sin. And what if the relationship does not last? Hebrews 12:1 shows that sin hinders our lives and easily entangles us. You will be much better off if u avoid these negative consequences.. Sex outside of marriage is called fornication and the Bible definitely condemns it.God has a reason for giving us this command. First and foremost, he knows what's best for u..
"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled;for fornicators and adulterers God will judge".(Matthew 13:4)
 
cooly,
Dont give your heart easily..Dont be in a hurry..true love waits..I believe that if the guy truly loves you, then he will respect you..
Don't be afraid of losing someone you love..If he only ruin your future and your relationship to God, then better to put down that relationship..It is not for you..God's will is without repentance...Hold on to your Faith..keep on serving God faithfully and God will hold your future and will give the better for you..I'm sure you will be happy!!!!!!!!!!
 
Cooly,

You need to get away from this guy.

He obviously doesn't respect you, or your faith in Jesus Christ. Not only that, but your boyfriend is gaining a stronger influence over you than God is when you are starting to think the way you are about things that God says is wrong.

Besides all that, if you choose to give in to this guy, then you've also chosen to completely disrespect your future husband, since He's the one you are supposed to be keeping yourself for.

I would never consider marrying someone that didn't respect me in the choices she made before she met me. The woman I married respected her future husband so much (me) that she NEVER even kissed another guy, because she was saving everything for him (me). I respected my future wife in the same way, and our relationship is amazing and the way we respect and treat one another in our marriage is something to be envied by a lot of people from what I've noticed.

If you respect God with your actions in life, you'll never regret it and always be blessed.

Do you know what it is to have a personal relationship with God, Cooly?
 
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me as a guy personally isn't looking for sex, well i use to but not anymore, trust me if he truly loves you then he would be understand, dont lose your virginity. wait for marriage! be strong and pray to the lord to seek guidance.remember love is patient and kind! i also agree with, spiritual plague, take some time and think about it
 
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swimfast14 said:
It is sin to have sex before marriage. If he really loves you...he should respect your decision to wait. I'm a virgin and I made a promise to wait for my future wife. How awesome would it be to tell you future wife or husband...that you waited all your life to give them their life-long love gift. And you dont want to regret anything if you had sex. Its just better to wait.
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Couldnt't agree more! God created sex for marriage.
 
listen to Wait by Lecrae. the answer is in that song. whether he is a Christian or not, if he is trying to pressure you into having sex, let him loose and follow God.
 
It is a sin to have sex before marriage because it's putting animal lust before human love. God made sexual intercourse as a means of PROCREATION, not RECREATION. Please, don't give in. God wants all of His children to keep themselves pure until marriage, where they can have sex in a way that they don't have to feel guilty for, in a way that results in children, that you can train up to be loving disciples of God.
...Wait....wait on sex, and focus on love, you'll be glad that you did.
Also, might I mention that couples who wait until marriage to have sex are less likely to get divorced, since they focused on communicating, and have more closely developed communication skills then couples who had sex before marriage?
The reasons that you should wait until marriage are ENDLESS, trust me.
Don't give in now, wait, and you'll have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
God bless you! ;D
 
cooly22 said:
I've gotten into my first real relationship where the guy im with is in for a long term relationship but im not entirley sure because i know once i got off to college i want to start my own life.
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I'm kind of confused after you said this,
What is the main point in having the relationship then?
 
cooly22 said:
I've gotten into my first real relationship where the guy im with is in for a long term relationship but im not entirley sure because i know once i got off to college i want to start my own life. Anyways he's been really pressuring me into sex even though i've always wanted to wait till marriage but now im changing my mind but worried if i give in ill be a bad person. Im not sure what to do, i want to be with him but i;ve always been taught that it's wrong plus this guy doesn't care to wait, he says he's waited enough and just wants to have sex. What should i do?
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First off, I'd say that if he is in for a long-term relationship, then pressuring you to doing what he wants you to do is a very bad way to go at it. I would recommend you both talk about what you want from the relationship. From what you posted it wounds to me he might just want a long-term relationship as someone he can have sex with on a long-term basis instead of a true relationship. If he loves you and wants to be with you, he should not mind waiting.
However, do realize that it is possible to relieve sexual tensions without actually having sex. I'm just throwing it out there.

I would say having or not having sex won't make you a bad person. What worries more is how you will feel after the act. If you have doubts that he's the right person, or are not sure that you should have sex, then it's probably not the right time. If you aren't sure you'll be happy and pleased with the person afterwards, then what happens if you do have sex, and feel miserable and wretched for the rest of your teenage years because of it?

Also, I would remind you that no matter what you do or don't do, use protection! Protection is not permission to treat sex casually, and it should never be. Protection is there for your personal health, such as prevention of pregnancy and stopping the spread of diseases. A pregnancy would probably wreck your plans to go to college, and a sexual disease will follow you around probably for the rest of your life.

These are serious subjects one must think carefully about. Whatever you do, I would advise not to take hasty decisions, and not to cave in to pressure. It is YOUR body, YOU decide what to do with it, and he has NO right to force you to do what you don't want to do. Follow your heart, it is the surest way to find happiness.
 
Alex314 said:
I would say having or not having sex won't make you a bad person. What worries more is how you will feel after the act. If you have doubts that he's the right person, or are not sure that you should have sex, then it's probably not the right time.
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The Bible doesn't say to wait for marriage because sex makes us 'bad' people, God is trying to protect us from heartache.

Alex314 said:
I would remind you that no matter what you do or don't do, use protection! Protection is not permission to treat sex casually, and it should never be. Protection is there for your personal health, such as prevention of pregnancy and stopping the spread of diseases. A pregnancy would probably wreck your plans to go to college, and a sexual disease will follow you around probably for the rest of your life.
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Protection is about 85% effective. That's roughly like playing russian roulette with only one bullet in the chamber of a nine shot revolver. Not a good idea.
 
JimJimmers said:
The Bible doesn't say to wait for marriage because sex makes us 'bad' people, God is trying to protect us from heartache.
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I never meant to say that, I was addressing the OP's fear that quote "Anyways he's been really pressuring me into sex even though i've always wanted to wait till marriage but now im changing my mind but worried if i give in ill be a bad person."
Sorry if it came off that way.

Protection is about 85% effective. That's roughly like playing russian roulette with only one bullet in the chamber of a nine shot revolver. Not a good idea.
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Still, 85% is better than nothing, especially since abstinence has only been shown to be 50% effective. Again, as I said, protection is in no way a permission to have sex, but protection in case you do have sex or for when you decide to have sex. It would be combining the 50% of abstinence with the 85% of protection to give a 90% ish 'protection' rate.

I am an agnostic atheist humanist naturalist (and a bunch of other -ists besides that no doubt), I am 19 years old, I am in a committed relationship with my girlfriend of 1.5 years, I am still a virgin and so is she, she has decided to wait and I have no issues with that, and although we do occasionally indulge in sexual acts (not actual penetration, more like mutual masturbation/oral) anytime we do something we use protection just to be on the safe side. I just want to say that I agree for the waiting for marriage if a partner so desires, but I disagree that there should never be any kind of protection because that would give permission to do things. I argue that whatever you do, do it in a deliberate and thoughtful way of your own decision, and use precaution and protection to ward off unwanted consequences.
 
Alex314 said:
I never meant to say that, I was addressing the OP's fear that quote "Anyways he's been really pressuring me into sex even though i've always wanted to wait till marriage but now im changing my mind but worried if i give in ill be a bad person."
Sorry if it came off that way.


Still, 85% is better than nothing, especially since abstinence has only been shown to be 50% effective. Again, as I said, protection is in no way a permission to have sex, but protection in case you do have sex or for when you decide to have sex. It would be combining the 50% of abstinence with the 85% of protection to give a 90% ish 'protection' rate.

I am an agnostic atheist humanist naturalist (and a bunch of other -ists besides that no doubt), I am 19 years old, I am in a committed relationship with my girlfriend of 1.5 years, I am still a virgin and so is she, she has decided to wait and I have no issues with that, and although we do occasionally indulge in sexual acts (not actual penetration, more like mutual masturbation/oral) anytime we do something we use protection just to be on the safe side. I just want to say that I agree for the waiting for marriage if a partner so desires, but I disagree that there should never be any kind of protection because that would give permission to do things. I argue that whatever you do, do it in a deliberate and thoughtful way of your own decision, and use precaution and protection to ward off unwanted consequences.
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Ah, I getcha. I didn't realize at first you were not a Christian, I see what tact you were taking. As I said in your welcome thread, welcome to the site! :)
 
Amen, God says we wrestle not against flesh and blood, correct? So we have to get use to looking at things from a spiritual angle. We know that his actions are either inspired byby God, or by his own sinful flesh, remember the word says by their fruit you shall know them, What christain, God fearing man would 'pressure' his girlfriend into having sex? If he is a true christain he would be dating to find his wife and have an understanding that there will be no sexual intercourse! The flesh is weak so he would even avoid being alone with you. Lets not complicate the bible when it is so simple a child can understand it, God does not approve of sex before marriage, and if your boyfriend is asking you to do so, knowing your christain and this is how your trying to live your life, then, based on his actions he is not inline with the will of God, but even still, this is a test for you. Do you not know that God wants to help build your character? Don't destory you witness with your boyfriend, meaning, he could be looking at you as a good christain woman, and it is possible that you be the one to lead him to christ, but if you defile your temple with him it will destory the chances of you leading him to christ, if he loves you, and this is not all just feelings of lust, he will wait. Pray about it and ask God what he wants you to do now that your in it, and have a heart willing to trust and obey, I hope this has helped some, peace and blessings
 
Um, did you know that not all forms of protection work?
Don't be the 20% of people who ended up getting "not so lucky" when something burst.
Sex is not something you just do when you feel like it, it's something you do with somebody that you love, particulary for the purpose of yielding children that you can raise to be loving servants of Christ. If you ask me, birth control is a big slap in the face to God's plan of creation!
Anyway, that's beside the point: When you have sex, you give away a part of yourself, a big, important part of yourself, that you will NEVER get back. If that's what you want to do, go ahead, just realize that premarital sex is not all rainbows and lollipops, and it's certainly not what God intends for His children.

"Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the LORD, and touch not the unclean thing, and I will recieve you..."
2 Corinthians 6:17
 
"Abstinence is only 50% effective..." O.O
That doesn't even make any sense! I'm pretty sure people who don't have sex, don't have it. XD
I practice abtsinence, and so far, I don't have any mommies with babies on the way for girlfriends, so I'd say abstinence has been pretty effective for me!

In fact, I don't have any sexually transmitted diseases either! So really, I guess I'd say abstinence has been 100% effective for me! XD

...Nobody ever died, got infected, or got pregnant from abstinence.
 
I'm sorry, but I don't think the statistics are right, Angelboy.
I've seen how condoms are made and they're built up like a fortress lol.
Also, if that fails then there's morning after pills and abortions.

I'm not recommending the latter but it all depends on your ethical grounds to be perfectly honest.

When you have sex, you give away a part of yourself, a big, important part of yourself, that you will NEVER get back.
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You reproduce more of it you know, there's not a finite amount xD
 
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