Does the church ignore single Christians? Where are we supposed to go?!?

[Edith]

I heard a theory. It's not my theory, but I really like this theory. So I'm stealing it. I mean I'm appropriating it. Yeah.

The theory is that you hang around the singles forum for the same reason a racist person maintains a friendship with a black man. For defense. That way when somebody calls you on how you spout off about singles, you can claim, I'm not a singlist. Look, I have friends who are single!

oh dear does thé word singlist exist or you just made that up to fit the statement.

 

[Lynx]

oh dear does thé word singlist exist or you just made that up to fit the statement.

Well it didn't USED to exist. Good ole Johnny done made a whole new category of -ism. Singleism.

 

[Branch]

Do You To Go On The Date With Me Ingrid In 2025.

 

[Jacob1016]

Makes me a bit happy that I'm not the only one with this issue. I remember churches used to do this when I was younger, but they stopped. I would assume it's because either no one showed, or it exclusively became people trying to ask other people out and lost the support for all singles a group like that should entail.

Regardless it is frustrating. I'm going to peruse the comments on a moment, but I wanted to jump in and ask, what has anyone found for a solution to this problem? I've attended my last church for a couple of years and didn't get one date (wasn't trying to search for one, but was open to God's work), so it seems just generically showing up to church doesn't do the trick either.

 

[Lanolin]

I recently started going back to church (that's another story!) and I noticed that my church has a ton of groups and different ministries. They have groups for seniors, children, youth, young adults (18-30), young families, marriage events, Alpha, teaching groups, special needs kids, community outreach, etc. They have a lot and that's great! But there's one glaringly obvious group that's been left out. Singles over 30. It's as if we don't exist. And I'm not just talking about my church, all churches I've been to and have looked at attending in the past have absolutely diddly squat for singles.
I know we can join bible studies and such, but it's annoying when every other life stage has specific events and meetings for them but singles are forgotten.

What has been your experience with your church or previous churches and their attitude towards us "elderly" single people?

Second question. What are your thoughts on meeting a potential mate at church?
Personally, I believe as single Christians we're probably not going to be meeting our future spouse at a bar, so that's not really an option. And we all know online dating is pure torture. So where are single Christians supposed to meet each other?

First question regarding 'elderly' single people.
I get mistaken for being young and get put in the youth groups. It's a bummer when people find out how old you actually are.

Meeting a potential mate at church?
Not going to happen. Church is not the place for flirting. It will all be about God and Jesus...and maybe Mary at a pinch. But nobody I know has found their potential mate at church. Weddings maybe, but not like regular church services. No time for that.

However theres is this wonderful mythical place called Christian Chat and it has a Singles Forum! People 'go' there all the time to meet their potential mate....online! I haven't yet and it's been a couple of years but I'm pretty sure it's going to happen today!

 

[Karlon]

First question regarding 'elderly' single people.
I get mistaken for being young and get put in the youth groups. It's a bummer when people find out how old you actually are.

Meeting a potential mate at church?
Not going to happen. Church is not the place for flirting. It will all be about God and Jesus...and maybe Mary at a pinch. But nobody I know has found their potential mate at church. Weddings maybe, but not like regular church services. No time for that.

However theres is this wonderful mythical place called Christian Chat and it has a Singles Forum! People 'go' there all the time to meet their potential mate....online! I haven't yet and it's been a couple of years but I'm pretty sure it's going to happen today!

church leaders don't want to be responsible for dating break-ups, arguments or divorces.

 

[Lanolin]

church leaders don't want to be responsible for dating break-ups, arguments or divorces.

I think they (ministers) do support marriages when they officiate at weddings though. But they probably stay out of the courtship stages. I do know some churches do what they call pre-marital counselling. But thats only for engaged couples.

When my friend got married in church, I think she just hired the church for the wedding...the marriage itself was the couples priority. When couples argue, it either ends up in court or they somehow sort it out. All the minister can really do is pray for them.

 

[Karlon]

I think they (ministers) do support marriages when they officiate at weddings though. But they probably stay out of the courtship stages. I do know some churches do what they call pre-marital counselling. But thats only for engaged couples.

When my friend got married in church, I think she just hired the church for the wedding...the marriage itself was the couples priority. When couples argue, it either ends up in court or they somehow sort it out. All the minister can really do is pray for them.

we hope so.

 

[Lanolin]

Oh I forgot, actually a friend of mine (in her 50s! and never married before) met her (first) husband at church. He was already married before and had ex-wife and grown children - near retired so in his 60s. So she would be his second wife. The first wife actually lives close by with the adult children.

Anyway the husband decided that the church he met my friend in was too liberal (it was Anglican) and he decided he would try the Greek Orthodox church, so off they went together, and decided to get married in it. They changed their names to saints names and everything. They fast. They look at icons. They learn the Phlilokalia or whatever ancient Fathers/saints/martyrs.

I was invited to the wedding but couldn't go because bereavement. But my friend keeps asking me to come along and check out the services - they have them Saturdays and Sundays. Twice a day!

So either they want new converts or they just REALLY into their religion. She keeps saying there are plenty of young people and families in this church! And probably single males itching to get married! Because the ceremonies have like incense and fancy robes and everything. I imagine the icons are all gilded and it's real exotic, like the real old Skool Christians. With the secret symbols - like the Jesus fish, mosaics, etc.

Do you think I should go along and check it out? The church I mean, not the men.

 

[Karlon]

Oh I forgot, actually a friend of mine (in her 50s! and never married before) met her (first) husband at church. He was already married before and had ex-wife and grown children - near retired so in his 60s. So she would be his second wife. The first wife actually lives close by with the adult children.

Anyway the husband decided that the church he met my friend in was too liberal (it was Anglican) and he decided he would try the Greek Orthodox church, so off they went together, and decided to get married in it. They changed their names to saints names and everything. They fast. They look at icons. They learn the Phlilokalia or whatever ancient Fathers/saints/martyrs.

I was invited to the wedding but couldn't go because bereavement. But my friend keeps asking me to come along and check out the services - they have them Saturdays and Sundays. Twice a day!

So either they want new converts or they just REALLY into their religion. She keeps saying there are plenty of young people and families in this church! And probably single males itching to get married! Because the ceremonies have like incense and fancy robes and everything. I imagine the icons are all gilded and it's real exotic, like the real old Skool Christians. With the secret symbols - like the Jesus fish, mosaics, etc.

Do you think I should go along and check it out? The church I mean, not the men.

no. be rooted in Jesus, always. sounds like some offbeat ideas, that are separate from God.