It's The Romance Game! Is Romance Dead? Name One Thing That You Find Romantic -- And One Thing You Don't.

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

Last night I was listening in to a live chat, and the host and his wife were having an adorable banter over their Valentine's Day Dinner.

This brought up a brief discussion of which foods are -- and are not -- romantic.

And it was determined that spaghetti is indeed romantic.

Now I'll admit that this one threw me, but someone brought up that it's because of this scene:

I would have never guessed that spaghetti could make the "romantic" list. But obviously, I was wrong. Spaghetti looks like it could be pretty darn romantic to me (at least, for animated dogs.)

As for something NOT romantic -- anything to do with smells, noises, or by-products of the human body.

I know we're all fearfully and wonderfully made -- but for myself, I'd rather not talk or hear about the remnants that our wondrous bodies leave behind.

How about you?

* What is at least one thing you consider to be romantic? (You can list more than one if you like.) It could be anything, just as long as it's meaningful to you. Whether flowers, chocolates, a card, phone call, text, special gestures/actions, or maybe a sacrifice (he gives up watching a big game to spend time with you; she cooks a special dinner just for that day) what do YOU consider to be romantic, and why?

* And on the flip side, what things would make all the candles and hearts fall flat in an instant? (For example, what if your Valentine meal has a lot of garlic in it it? Does that kill the atmosphere, or simply enhance your dinner?)

Married friends are obviously welcome to answer, as obviously, no one know more about romance than them!

 

[engblom]

For me, closeness is romantic. It can be holding hands, resting our heads together, long hugs, and so on. Closeness is my love language, and I feel loved when someone wants to be close to me.

Nagging, on the other hand, is a romance‑killer.

 

[Lynx]

No idea. If I ever find a lady, I guess we'll figure it out then.

 

[seoulsearch]

For me, closeness is romantic. It can be holding hands, resting our heads together, long hugs, and so on. Closeness is my love language, and I feel loved when someone wants to be close to me. Nagging, on the other hand, is a romance‑killer.

This is such an excellent point!

It's easy for me to talk to people when I'm having one of my up, bubbly moments.

It's not easy (nor does it feel safe) when I'm having serious thoughts and I don't feel comfortable sharing them with the person I'm around.

It might not be his fault. It just might not be part of his personality, or he might not understand what I'm saying, just because he has a different experience or none at all with whatever's on my mind.

But when someone starts making fun of what I want to talk about seriously, or worse yet, criticizes or preaches at me for trying to let it out, that will shut me down immediately.

And, it's usually a sign for me to cut that person out of my life.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm currently eating mashed potatoes topped with a thick layer of stretchy, melted cheese.

A heaping pile of yummy, gooey cheese -- such as on a pizza -- could definitely be romantic if shared.

 

[CarriePie]

I'm currently eating mashed potatoes topped with a thick layer of stretchy, melted cheese.

A heaping pile of yummy, gooey cheese -- such as on a pizza -- could definitely be romantic if shared.


View attachment 285683

This reminds me that I haven't posted the homemade heart pizza I made yesterday!

 

[Ceph]

We see/experience something whacky, and we're just like; "Bro, what is that?" And we joke it off, maybe use it as a basis for teasing each other later.

Life in the world just goes on in the background, and we simply understand it, and let it be in Gods hands.
There's no need to discuss voting for any politician, unless it's satire.

 

[CarriePie]

Even though I might not seem romantic, I am actually pretty romantic. Despite that I use power tools, swim with snakes, have more critters as friends than people, and am not keen on romantic movies/books, I can be quite romantic and silly. I'm big on affection: embraces, smooching, holding hands, and flirting. And I'm also big on quality time together and doing nice things for each other such as: couple hikes, a stargazing picnic, a kiss in the shark tunnel at the aquarium, making him a delicious homemade meal, receiving my favorite plant because I love houseplants (thank you @YouOnlyLiveTwice), playing a game of croquet or mini golf together, playing a board game together on a raining evening (Solarquest!), paddleboating on the lake, etc.
.
As far as what makes the candles and hearts fall flat is if he kills a spider! He won't be getting any of my homemade baked goodies!

 

[seoulsearch]

As far as what makes the candles and hearts fall flat is if he kills a spider! He won't be getting any of my homemade baked goodies!

Note to self: Murder, particularly of arachnids, kills any signs of romance. Lol!

 

[Lanolin]

One thing I consider romantic - apart from sharing food which is something I do anyway with family...I'd say chocolates and flowers or actually Flower Chocolates

Like these

 

[Lanolin]

Candles and hearts falling flat...maybe burping or farting. Rude table manners?

 

[YouOnlyLiveTwice]

Even though I might not seem romantic, I am actually pretty romantic. Despite that I use power tools, swim with snakes, have more critters as friends than people, and am not keen on romantic movies/books, I can be quite romantic and silly. I'm big on affection: embraces, smooching, holding hands, and flirting. And I'm also big on quality time together and doing nice things for each other such as: couple hikes, a stargazing picnic, a kiss in the shark tunnel at the aquarium, making him a delicious homemade meal, receiving my favorite plant because I love houseplants (thank you @YouOnlyLiveTwice), playing a game of croquet or mini golf together, playing a board game together on a raining evening (Solarquest!), paddleboating on the lake, etc.
.
As far as what makes the candles and hearts fall flat is if he kills a spider! He won't be getting any of my homemade baked goodies!

I can’t wait to do all of these things together forever

 

[Levib]

For me, closeness is romantic. .

It’s less about the food and more about sharing one side of the booth even if the other side is empty.

 

[seoulsearch]

It’s less about the food and more about sharing one side of the booth even if the other side is empty.

This was a beautiful post.

It's also awesome to get to get some people together in a group and push a whole bunch of tables together, taking up half the room!

 

[Sculpt]

* What is at least one thing you consider to be romantic? (You can list more than one if you like.) It could be anything, just as long as it's meaningful to you. Whether flowers, chocolates, a card, phone call, text, special gestures/actions, or maybe a sacrifice (he gives up watching a big game to spend time with you; she cooks a special dinner just for that day) what do YOU consider to be romantic, and why?

* And on the flip side, what things would make all the candles and hearts fall flat in an instant? (For example, what if your Valentine meal has a lot of garlic in it it? Does that kill the atmosphere, or simply enhance your dinner?)

I don't generally think of any foods themselves as romantic or not, but rather the setting... such as a sitting by a pond on a blanket with some cheeses and wine.

I suppose there could be a very foul smelling food that would dampen romance, but onions or garlic on the breath don't really bother me. I do okay overlooking a little bad breath, and bad breath would be worse that onion breath, I think.

Physical closeness and relationship intimacy is romantic to me... knowing they want to be close and have intimacy.

If we're going for a romantic mood, I wouldn't care about natural body functions. I mean, I try to do my part to avoid it . I think I have proper table manners, but I trust my significant other will communicate to me what they want, like, find offensive or bothersome. Like if I started, or was unknowingly smacking my food, I would do whatever it takes to stop.

 

[Sculpt]

It's easy for me to talk to people when I'm having one of my up, bubbly moments.

It's not easy (nor does it feel safe) when I'm having serious thoughts and I don't feel comfortable sharing them with the person I'm around.

It might not be his fault. It just might not be part of his personality, or he might not understand what I'm saying, just because he has a different experience or none at all with whatever's on my mind.

But when someone starts making fun of what I want to talk about seriously, or worse yet, criticizes or preaches at me for trying to let it out, that will shut me down immediately.

And, it's usually a sign for me to cut that person out of my life.

I know what you mean. I've certainly discovered people who are narcists, etc.

But I'll point out what might be obvious in your scenario: if someone states making fun, criticizes or preaches to you about what your saying, I hope you let them know before you cut them out. I have lifelong friends who will do any of those things from time-to-time, when they're in the mood to joke, in their head or they're just frustrated. But I think the more important thing is how they react when you tell them, "Say, I'm being serious about this. Can you not joke/criticize/preach right now and listen." Do they care and respect you enough to adjust their behavior in that moment?

 

[seoulsearch]

I know what you mean. I've certainly discovered people who are narcists, etc.
But I'll point out what might be obvious in your scenario: if someone states making fun, criticizes or preaches to you about what your saying, I hope you let them know before you cut them out. I have lifelong friends who will do any of those things from time-to-time, when they're in the mood to joke, in their head or they're just frustrated. But I think the more important thing is how they react when you tell them, "Say, I'm being serious about this. Can you not joke/criticize/preach right now and listen." Do they care and respect you enough to adjust their behavior in that moment?

Most definitely, I completely agree. This is why I often say I have so many "false starts" when it comes to friendships. It takes a long time, and many interactions, to see how each person will react and respond in different situations.

I credit @Lynx for being the reason we're still friends!! We laugh about it now, but we've had some knock-down, drag-out fights over the years.

When we were planning our first meetup, we disagreed about some of the logistics. He asked me, "Why are you so oddly insistent on doing things your way?"

Well, I took this as him calling ME odd and telling me I was stupid and didn't have a clue as to what I was talking about. I thank God that He's lengthened my fuse over the years, but that really set me off and when my temper gets lit, there is going to be a BOOM!

I pretty much told Lynx to take a long walk off a short pier, and when he tried to get me to explain my reasoning, I told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore, end of subject.

And he left me a voice message saying, "No, no, no, this is the beginning, not the end! This is where people need to talk MORE so they can work things through!" He said it without any anger or criticism, whereas I was ready to punch through walls!

But the fact that he was so earnest and sincere (and I'd seen him do this with others in chat too, so I knew it wasn't an act,) stopped me in my tracks, and made me realize I had interpreted everything wrong.

The word "oddly" set me of because it tapped into me growing up being seen as "different" and "odd" in a small town, and I didn't like that one bit. But he was so calm that I had to at least hear what he had to say.

Now he could use the word "oddly" in a discussion all day, and I wouldn't blink -- except maybe to get popcorn.

 

[Levib]

Most definitely, I completely agree. This is why I often say I have so many "false starts" when it comes to friendships. It takes a long time, and many interactions, to see how each person will react and respond in different situations.

I credit @Lynx for being the reason we're still friends!! We laugh about it now, but we've had some knock-down, drag-out fights over the years.

When we were planning our first meetup, we disagreed about some of the logistics. He asked me, "Why are you so oddly insistent on doing things your way?"

Well, I took this as him calling ME odd and telling me I was stupid and didn't have a clue as to what I was talking about. I thank God that He's lengthened my fuse over the years, but that really set me off and when my temper gets lit, there is going to be a BOOM!

I pretty much told Lynx to take a long walk off a short pier, and when he tried to get me to explain my reasoning, I told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore, end of subject.

And he left me a voice message saying, "No, no, no, this is the beginning, not the end! This is where people need to talk MORE so they can work things through!" He said it without any anger or criticism, whereas I was ready to punch through walls!

But the fact that he was so earnest and sincere (and I'd seen him do this with others in chat too, so I knew it wasn't an act,) stopped me in my tracks, and made me realize I had interpreted everything wrong.

The word "oddly" set me of because it tapped into me growing up being seen as "different" and "odd" in a small town, and I didn't like that one bit. But he was so calm that I had to at least hear what he had to say.

Now he could use the word "oddly" in a discussion all day, and I wouldn't blink -- except maybe to get popcorn.

I always had my suspicion that you were a little bit of a firecracker. Small package and a whole lot of fun if you don’t blow your fingers off.

 

[seoulsearch]

I always had my suspicion that you were a little bit of a firecracker. Small package and a whole lot of fun if you don’t blow your fingers off.

Lol!

If my fuse gets lit, the whole keg is gonna blow.




I try to explain to people that my emotions are very extreme. Some see me as happy and bouncy -- but the poor souls don't realize that when the coin flips and I'm angry, anxious, or depressed, it's just as intense, if not even more extreme.

I can remember someone I used to talk to online who was very upset about an election and that's all they wanted to talk about (we'd never really talked about politics until then.) When I said I don't really keep up with politics, that person said something along the lines of, "Well that's because you're being lazy," and never talked to me again.

I didn't exactly consider that a loss.

There have been other times when I've had knock-out verbal fights that did end friendships, but when I look back, I can't think of a single one that didn't end for a good reason.

But I do know I can get out of hand I tend to isolate myself because it seems like the best option for keeping my more extreme moments away from others, which is a good thing (and a whole lot less embarrassing.)

 

[Lynx]

Most definitely, I completely agree. This is why I often say I have so many "false starts" when it comes to friendships. It takes a long time, and many interactions, to see how each person will react and respond in different situations.

I credit @Lynx for being the reason we're still friends!! We laugh about it now, but we've had some knock-down, drag-out fights over the years.

When we were planning our first meetup, we disagreed about some of the logistics. He asked me, "Why are you so oddly insistent on doing things your way?"

Well, I took this as him calling ME odd and telling me I was stupid and didn't have a clue as to what I was talking about. I thank God that He's lengthened my fuse over the years, but that really set me off and when my temper gets lit, there is going to be a BOOM!

I pretty much told Lynx to take a long walk off a short pier, and when he tried to get me to explain my reasoning, I told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore, end of subject.

And he left me a voice message saying, "No, no, no, this is the beginning, not the end! This is where people need to talk MORE so they can work things through!" He said it without any anger or criticism, whereas I was ready to punch through walls!

But the fact that he was so earnest and sincere (and I'd seen him do this with others in chat too, so I knew it wasn't an act,) stopped me in my tracks, and made me realize I had interpreted everything wrong.

The word "oddly" set me of because it tapped into me growing up being seen as "different" and "odd" in a small town, and I didn't like that one bit. But he was so calm that I had to at least hear what he had to say.

Now he could use the word "oddly" in a discussion all day, and I wouldn't blink -- except maybe to get popcorn.

As I recall the problem was that we were both assuming something and had no idea the other was assuming the opposite. I assumed you would naturally want to rent a car... Because that's what I would have wanted to do if I was going to visit someone, mostly so I would have the security and freedom of not being subject to anybody else's schedule, free to drive away if i ever wanted to.

Meanwhile you were wondering why I did not want to give you a ride? You were probably wondering "Is he really THAT cheap, or just THAT lazy?"

We got it straightened out though.