God's design for relationship is arranged marriage, incompatible with modern society

[RegisterNow]

The comments are terrific. And Lynx's dry wit tops the whipped cream.

I admit, to swallow the OP opinion, I'd have to throw out as many verses as were offered in defense of that position.

I've tried hard to separate out the impact of the post-apostolic early church history because I'm not sure I like how they bent the twig. So just from the Old Tesatament writings followed by a bunch of Jews impacted by Jesus Christ, this is how I read the concepts at a high level through the Bible:

It was obviously not good that man be alone.

God made all the animals male and female, and the helper He offered Adam was appropriate for him. He told them to be fruitful, as He told other parts of creation. God left them shamelessly naked alone in the garden and we have no record that He came back to peek. When He did return, He graciously called out (hollered) first. That tells me that He didn't have any problem with what two healthy naked humans might figure out, but He apparently wasn't interested in observing them or making a situation awkward. Eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was the only off-limits discussion. When I had a line of pure-bred dogs, the owners had to observe the deed to verify the breeding of the pups. There were times that the dogs as well as the owners were embarassed, even though there is no sin involved, which might correlate to God's graciousness to the mankind He made in His image.

David explains how children are a gift from God, a reward, and a man is blessed to have his quiver full. Maybe these women (Lot's daughters, Tamar, Hannah, Sarah) weren't just thinking of making babies. Granted, women have hormones, but maybe there was a higher calling encouraging them.

We have apostolic comments about Christ bringing many sons to glory which spring off Old Testament prophecies, like here I am and the children God has given me. We have the man, Christ Jesus, and we have The Father, both male images to us, and their desire is for a large family each in His image. We have their comments about the church as the Bride and body of Christ, but we also have John the Baptist associating Jesus with the Bride/Bridegroom theme.

The letters to the churches came at a time of persecution in some areas and self-indulgence in other areas. We do well to remember that we are reading their mail, and we don't know what the other side of the conversation was or what the background specifically was, so it might be easy to err on any position especially the one based on a few comments "about which you wrote me." Apparently it took decades for the folks who witnessed the resurrection of Christ to figure out that "this same Jesus" was going to be a while before coming back and that they needed to take this good news to all the Gentiles like Jesus told them to do.

Jesus explained that some men are naturally not parent-capable, some have their reproductive equipment broken by others, and some choose not to use their reproductive equipment (as Paul chose) for making their own babies but for focusing on making disciples as their way of being fruitful to bring people to The Kingdom. But, Jesus said, from the beginning God made marriage. I'm having a hard time considering that The Eternal wants us aiming to be single and settling for marriage. For certain people, it may be that they are most effective not focusing on marriage. We should be single-minded, with God as our highest priority and family/others before ourselves, but not necessarily single.

I imagine someone has already said this in a prior thread, but it would take Lynx to remember it. I don't think I was here.

You know, over all these "terrific" comments, nobody has given a valid answer to the simple question - indeed God offered Eve, an appropriate helper for Adam and brought her to him, but God does NOT make such a helper out everyone's side for everyone, what do you do then? Accepting it and settle on it as God's will? Or go seeking a partner, who may or may not exist, on your own accord? It may not be good for man to be alone, but it's worse for man to end up with a Jezebel or a Delilah.

 

[RegisterNow]

Umm ok, but the vast majority of people don't get married because they can't keep themselves from humping the opposite sex. Sorry if that sounds harsh. God's plan is for people to marry and have children. Not everyone will do either in their life time but it was not God's plan for everyone to remain single. Either way too far and you're out of God's will.

The "majority" won't be single, celibacy is a gift only for those who can accept it. The "majority" is also not Christian, the narrow path of righteousness is for the few.

 

[seoulsearch]

Alright. It is taught that marriage is the first human institution designed and ordained by God, and just to clarify, this does NOT mean that everybody must get married, this is NOT an order, as most boomers and Gen Xers believe from their lived experience. Rather, it is a descriptive statement, that on a collective level, in any given human culture, family is the basic unit, and marriage is a fundational organization, even in the indigenous tribes in Amazon jungle or African savanna. As much as Adam and Eve are the ancestors of ALL mankind, not just born-again Christians or orthodox Jews, marriage is just what most human beings are hardwired to do.

Now if you ask what exactly is this design, the most common response you'll get is Gen. 2:24 - "man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This was quoted by Jesus in Matt. 19:5, in that context, Pharisees asked Him about the legality of no fault divorce, and he schooled them with the orginal design of marriage.

Now here's the kicker. If you read this verse carefully, it states, "be joined to his WIFE" - not soul mate, not girlfriend, not even fiancee, but WIFE, so it only applies to already married couple. When you're ALREADY married, it means that societally, economically and legally, you're no longer a part of your parents' household, you and your spouse are a new independent household. "Two become one flesh" means one thing and one thing only - consummation of marriage in the bedroom. This interpretation is based on 1 Cor. 6:12, in which apostle Paul warned that if you screw a harlot, you "become one flesh with her," also quoting Gen. 2:24. In that case, you don't leave your parents and marry her, nonetheless sexual intercouse has this emotionally bonding power, even though you only have sex with a hooker whom you barely know, you still become one flesh with her.

So it begs the question - how did you get married in the first place? Unfortunately, this is ignored by most Christians, including pastors and theologians, because there's no valid biblical instruction on dating, a relatively modern invention. The best advice they could offer is "dating a fellow born again Christian," but how do you know your partner is really born again, and what do you do when such a partner doesn't exist at all? The solution is to sutbly change Gen 2:24 with a modern romantic twist - "man shall be joined to his other half, and the two shall get married," assuming there is an "other half" for everyone, and only can you be complete and happy when you are united with your other half. But if you read the whole chapter, the real answer is in the previous verses:

"It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." (Gen. 2:18)
"the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man." (Gen. 2:22)

Here're the three key points that are qutie a shock to modern minds: 1. God determined that it was not good for Adam to be alone, Adam didn't complain for being alone, he didn't ask God for a mate; 2. God made an equal partner "comparable" to Adam, not superior or inferior, which means neither a girl boss or a sex slave; 3. God brought Eve to Adam and joined them together. In essence, this was known as a betrothal, the ancient equivalent of obtaining a marriage license, marriage was determined, negotiated and arranged for you by your parents, a professional match maker or other offical, and usually done when you were a teenager; and when you do get married, you get a large amount of dowry as both a startup investment and an early inheritance.

This is the "cornorstone" model of marriage, that you start with marriage as a foundation, then you pursue your other life goals from there. But in that flawed understanding mentioned above, design for marriage is changed into design for dating, which is often against all three key points: YOU determined it's not good for you to be alone; YOU seek a partner based on look, feeling and status instead of shared faith and values; YOU go present yourself to them. And this has turned the cornorstone model into a "capstone" model, that after you have achieved every other goals - career, fame, house, you attract a mate with your achievements and top it off with marriage.

And this is why modern dating is quite a disaster, modern relationship is stressful and modern marriage is unhappy. They are fundemantally against God's design for marriage. I'm not saying this to advocate for arranged marriage, although it may work for lots of people, at least your parents or professional matchmakers are more reliable than any dating app. The obvious and convenient alternative, though, is laid out in Matt. 19:11-12:

But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

Translation in modern English: asexual, incel and volcel. Marriage, relationship and kids are certainly blessings, but not for everyone. If you struggle with singleness and loneliness, that is essentially a grief over unmet expectations. And like all other griefs, you go through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually you accept reality and get used to it.

PS: The reason that propelled me to write this is to rebuke the rampant idolatry of marriage and the marginalization of singles in almost every church, regardless of denomination. It was originally the churches' response to the sexual revolution and "free love" movement in the late 60s, but it had slowly morphed into a variant of prosperity gospel, now commonly known as "sexual prosperity gospel", "relational prosperity gospel" or "purity culture", it teaches or implies that God will reward your faith and dedication with a godly partner, good relationship and hot sex. You probably have heard the slogans ad nauseam - "sex is sanctified only within marriage," "true love waits," "save myself for marriage;" but in the listeners' ears, it's turned into a deal - "marriage is just a license to have sex;" "if I wait, I will have true love;" "if I save my virginity I will marry my cinderella/prince charming." Furthermore, this gives you the impression of work based salvation - salvation through Jesus PLUS marriage; salvation through Jesus PLUS spousal intimacy; salvation through Jesus PLUS kids; This kind of false advertising has mislead more than a generation, it must be exposed and stopped. Everybody is born as a single, nobody is entitled to a partner, singleness is not merely a "staging period" or "preparing period" for marriage because such an equally yoked partner for you may not exist, singleness by and of itself should be valued and appreciated as a spiritual gift.

 

[Snackersmom]

You know, over all these "terrific" comments, nobody has given a valid answer to the simple question - indeed God offered Eve, an appropriate helper for Adam and brought her to him, but God does NOT make such a helper out everyone's side for everyone, what do you do then? Accepting it and settle on it as God's will? Or go seeking a partner, who may or may not exist, on your own accord? It may not be good for man to be alone, but it's worse for man to end up with a Jezebel or a Delilah.

Wait, so THATS your question/premise? Why didn't you just say so instead of titling your thread about arranged marriages and arguing that true hardcore Christians stay single?

If you are truly looking for answers to that question, I suggest you make a separate thread about it and state your question clearly. Also chill out a little and actually listen to the answers rather than coming out the gate windmill-swinging and assuming crap about everyone, it's not a good look

 

[cinder]

Go read 1 Samuel 1 for yourself and draw your own conclusion, I won't argue.

Also, staying single is not my choice, as I said, nobody is born entitled to a partner, singleness is the default status. God has blessed me with abundant possession, good health, stable family and most importantly, the opportunity to know him in a liberal, atheistic, materialistic upbringing, I'm grateful with nothing to complain.

Don't believe you. All you've done is complain and lecture since you got here. I know people who are grateful for what they have and they don't talk like you do.

So let's start over. What possessed you to come on a christian singles forum and lecture everyone there? Were you trying to be encouraging? Were you looking for people who share your frustrations? And how are you using the advantages that come from singleness to serve God?

We're much more intetested in a real personal story than a super spiritual facade

 

[seoulsearch]

Please forgive my earlier quoted post above, it was a mistake and I didn't get to edit it in time.

Thanks. Sorry I can't relate, I have no desire for any girl, nor do I know anyone personally. All that I'm saying is that marriage is a worldly pursuit, real hardcore Christians should stay single. After all, Jesus was single, Paul was single, most OT prophets and disciples were single.

I'm just curious, does the highlighted sentence above mean that you don't know personally know any girls? If so, how old are you and what are the life circumstances that prevent you from knowing any women at work, church, school, etc? Or did you mean you don't know anyone personally who is looking for a woman to marry?

This is now the third time I am posting my questions directly to you that you seem to be purposedly and repeatedly sidestepping. I do understand, as it is your right to not answer if you wish. But omitting your thoughts on these questions is also shaping some assumptions about your experience that, if clarified, would really help the audience to better understand your stance.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying you don't know or have contact with any women personally? Is this by choice or circumstance?

The reason I ask is because a CC friend who is much smarter than I am mentioned that your posts sound like that of a young man who has stopped believing he will ever find a woman. Therefore, to comfort himself, is sounds like you've convinced yourself that singleness is the superior spiritual way, because that's the life you believe you will have.

The fact that you talk about women (but not the men) being "baby obsessed" and straying from God because of it (even though Abraham was VERY concerned about producing a male heir,) and comments such as this:

You know, over all these "terrific" comments, nobody has given a valid answer to the simple question - indeed God offered Eve, an appropriate helper for Adam and brought her to him, but God does NOT make such a helper out everyone's side for everyone, what do you do then? Accepting it and settle on it as God's will? Or go seeking a partner, who may or may not exist, on your own accord? It may not be good for man to be alone, but it's worse for man to end up with a Jezebel or a Delilah.

... greatly seem to support these points.

You sound like a young man, or at least a man who has had very limited and/or very negative experiences with women, have given up all hope of ever finding one on your own. Perhaps because of this, maybe you assumed arranged marriage would have been your only chance (and also therefore not your responsibility, but that of your parents,) and for some reason, you don't even believe in that anymore, either.

And so, perhaps you are staring into a mirror of what you believe will be a lifetime of singleness and loneliness, convincing yourself that you've done a much better job than any poor gullible man who winds up with a "Jezebel" and Delilah" -- and are far above pursuing such lowly "worldly traits" that will interfere with your service to God.

But.

It sure doesn't sound like you're very happy or content with all that extra time to devote to God, either. You sound lost, bitter, angry, and sad. Believe me, many of us here have been, are still there, and are working through those things, too.

I see you have your location listed as Taiwan, so I'm wondering how much of this is also due to cultural beliefs (maybe you feel your parents failed to find you a wife, and now there is no hope?)

Feel free to correct any and everything I'm getting wrong here. Go ahead and scrub my post clean and start over with your actual story if you'd like -- I'd be interested in hearing about it, because part of my calling from God is to learn about other people.

Whatever has left you with such a bad impression and seeming dislike of women (and most everyone else right along with them,) I am truly sorry.

 

[RegisterNow]

Don't believe you. All you've done is complain and lecture since you got here. I know people who are grateful for what they have and they don't talk like you do.

So let's start over. What possessed you to come on a christian singles forum and lecture everyone there? Were you trying to be encouraging? Were you looking for people who share your frustrations? And how are you using the advantages that come from singleness to serve God?

We're much more intetested in a real personal story than a super spiritual facade

To start over, plz read the OP first, especially the PS, all explained there. To sum it up, "God wants us to marry" "sex is within marriage" "be fruitful and multiply" are all true biblical teachings, I'm not here to challenge any of these, but they are all meaningless without an explanation of how you meet your own "helper" and get married in the first place. The biblical explanation is arranged marriage, so is the norm in the historical context of the whole bible, but it's out of the picture in modern society, and the church doesn't have an answer for that, so instead of promoting singleness or reviving arranged marriage, most churches preach this "sexual prosperity gospel" to singles. My personal story is to have recognized it as a scam taking the Lord's name in vain.

 

[pinebeach]

The reason I ask is because a CC friend who is much smarter than I am mentioned that your posts sound like that of a young man who has stopped believing he will ever find a woman. Therefore, to comfort himself, is sounds like you've convinced yourself that singleness is the superior spiritual way, because that's the life you believe you will have.

 

[RegisterNow]

This is now the third time I am posting my questions directly to you that you seem to be purposedly and repeatedly sidestepping. I do understand, as it is your right to not answer if you wish. But omitting your thoughts on these questions is also shaping some assumptions about your experience that, if clarified, would really help the audience to better understand your stance.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying you don't know or have contact with any women personally? Is this by choice or circumstance?

The reason I ask is because a CC friend who is much smarter than I am mentioned that your posts sound like that of a young man who has stopped believing he will ever find a woman. Therefore, to comfort himself, is sounds like you've convinced yourself that singleness is the superior spiritual way, because that's the life you believe you will have.

By circumstance I've never had the opportunity to meet any woman, for looking at a woman with lust is committing adultery with her in your heart. Single is superior is not me being a sour grape, but apostle Paul taught so - " So then he who gives [her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better." Single is superior in a spiritual way as much as priests and nuns are superior in a spiritual way.

 

[seoulsearch]

To start over, plz read the OP first, especially the PS, all explained there. To sum it up, "God wants us to marry" "sex is within marriage" "be fruitful and multiply" are all true biblical teachings, I'm not here to challenge any of these, but they are all meaningless without an explanation of how you meet your own "helper" and get married in the first place. The biblical explanation is arranged marriage, so is the norm in the historical context of the whole bible, but it's out of the picture in modern society, and the church doesn't have an answer for that, so instead of promoting singleness or reviving arranged marriage, most churches preach this "sexual prosperity gospel" to singles.

My personal story is to have recognized it as a scam taking the Lord's name in vain.

Thank you -- you finally hit the nail right on the head for the rest of us who could only wonder about what you were getting at. You've finally made the context behind this thread, and all of your posts, crystal clear.

You are here because whatever it is you've observed or experienced regarding marriage, it has left you deeply hurt, bitter, angry, and scarred -- and boy, do you ever want to vent about it.

And for whatever reason, it sounds like you see yourself as a forever single.

But behind the righteous "thank goodness I'm not wasting my time on worldly pursuits like all these other lowly sinners, and thank goodness I'm not stuck with some Jezebel like other clueless worldly men" facade, you sound sad, disappointed, hopeless, and very, very lonely.

Many of us have been and are going through this.

Fellowship here might be of help to you -- if you would give people here a chance.

 

[seoulsearch]

By circumstance I've never had the opportunity to meet any woman, for looking at a woman with lust is committing adultery with her in your heart. Single is superior is not me being a sour grape, but apostle Paul taught so - " So then he who gives [her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better." Single is superior in a spiritual way as much as priests and nuns are superior in a spiritual way.

I was raised in a church that saw its leaders as spiritually superior.

I do not personally believe this about any spiritual leader (that just being a spiritual leader, or just devoting one's life solely to God somehow makes them automatically spiritually superior,) but that's just me.

Obviously, you have your right to your own beliefs.

I think there is a part of you that longs for companionship and even hopes for marriage, but seeing how much it has hurt people (and I agree with this, as I was deeply hurt by marriage as well,) you have given up, but still need a reason to think you are winning.

Best of luck to you with your win.

It doesn't seem to be helping you very much emotionally, but most everyone needs to believe they're winning at something, no matter how much they have to contort things to accommodate their own comfort.

 

[RegisterNow]

... greatly seem to support these points.

You sound like a young man, or at least a man who has had very limited and/or very negative experiences with women, have given up all hope of ever finding one on your own. Perhaps because of this, maybe you assumed arranged marriage would have been your only chance (and also therefore not your responsibility, but that of your parents,) and for some reason, you don't even believe in that anymore, either.

And so, perhaps you are staring into a mirror of what you believe will be a lifetime of singleness and loneliness, convincing yourself that you've done a much better job than any poor gullible man who winds up with a "Jezebel" and Delilah" -- and are far above pursuing such lowly "worldly traits" that will interfere with your service to God.

But.

It sure doesn't sound like you're very happy or content with all that extra time to devote to God, either. You sound lost, bitter, angry, and sad. Believe me, many of us here have been, are still there, and are working through those things, too.

I see you have your location listed as Taiwan, so I'm wondering how much of this is also due to cultural beliefs (maybe you feel your parents failed to find you a wife, and now there is no hope?)

Feel free to correct any and everything I'm getting wrong here. Go ahead and scrub my post clean and start over with your actual story if you'd like -- I'd be interested in hearing about it, because part of my calling from God is to learn about other people.

Whatever has left you with such a bad impression and seeming dislike of women (and most everyone else right along with them,) I am truly sorry.

All I can tell you is that I've been blessed with abundance, a large two bedroom apartment inherited from my grandparents, a stable and low stress job I can handle, a relatively healthy and functional body without serious illness, a peaceful relationship with my parents and colleges, half a million bucks in the bank and life insurance without any debt, and as I said earlier, the grace of God to know him through lord Jesus who died for me. So no, I'm absolutely not lost, bitter, angry, or sad, I am grateful for everything I have which I know I didn't earn, I am in no position to ask God for more, I'm not entitled, and I know God won't give you more than what you can handle. What does make me angry and sad, though, is the broken dating culture in general and the false "sexual prosperity gospel" in the church, that's what I'm aiming at.

 

[seoulsearch]

By circumstance I've never had the opportunity to meet any woman, for looking at a woman with lust is committing adultery with her in your heart. Single is superior is not me being a sour grape, but apostle Paul taught so - " So then he who gives [her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better." Single is superior in a spiritual way as much as priests and nuns are superior in a spiritual way.

* Are you saying that you are so prone to lust or at least so afraid of lust, you've kept yourself from any and all women in order to try to keep yourself from committing adultery by looking at any woman the wrong way?

* While I admire your steadfastness to remain pure in thought, how can you pass judgment on an entire gender you've apparently never had any contact with, and also apparently never will?

* What is your single superiority telling you about talking to women here? Especially when they have a picture of themselves in their avatar?

* In other words, how far do your self-righteous rules stretch? If you aren't allowed to communicate with women in real life, what do your rules say about talking to them right here, online, and in this thread?

 

[seoulsearch]

All I can tell you is that I've been blessed with abundance, a large two bedroom apartment inherited from my grandparents, a stable and low stress job I can handle, a relatively healthy and functional body without serious illness, a peaceful relationship with my parents and colleges, half a million bucks in the bank and life insurance without any debt, and as I said earlier, the grace of God to know him through lord Jesus who died for me. So no, I'm absolutely not lost, bitter, angry, or sad, I am grateful for everything I have which I know I didn't earn, I am in no position to ask God for more, I'm not entitled, and I know God won't give you more than what you can handle.

What does make me angry and sad, though, is the broken dating culture in general and the false "sexual prosperity gospel" in the church, that's what I'm aiming at.

It's wonderful that God has blessed you with so much.

But why spend all of those many blessings on trying to police what other people do or don't do regarding marriage, especially when many are called by God Himself to marry?

I am honestly not trying to criticize, but to understand.

I am trying to wrap my head around someone who is almost a millionaire and yet says he's never met a woman -- apparently not even at work? Not to marry, but just as a person?

And if you avoid women because you are afraid they will scam you and try to take what you have, I can understand that too.

But I need a little more help in understanding.

 

[RegisterNow]

I was raised in a church that saw its leaders as spiritually superior.

I do not personally believe this about any spiritual leader (that just being a spiritual leader, or just devoting one's life solely to God somehow makes them automatically spiritually superior,) but that's just me.

Obviously, you have your right to your own beliefs.

I think there is a part of you that longs for companionship and even hopes for marriage, but seeing how much it has hurt people (and I agree with this, as I was deeply hurt by marriage as well,) you have given up, but still need a reason to think you are winning.

Best of luck to you with your win.

It doesn't seem to be helping you very much emotionally, but most everyone needs to believe they're winning at something, no matter how much they have to contort things to accommodate their own comfort.

You see, here's the pitfall most Christians are trapped into, especially in Protestant churches, where it is widely believed that Chrstianity is a relationship between Jesus and each believer, you can know Him by reading the bible, a collection of 66 ancient books translted from two other ancient languages, all by yourself without anybody else's interference. The precedence and the attitude of the Ethiopian eunuch speaks otherwise, and that's the example I'd follow. A supposed "spiritual leader" may not be spiritually superior, but apostle Phillip is surely spiritually superior over the eunuch, don't you think?

Philip ran to him, and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he asked Philip to come up and sit with him. (Acts. 8:30-31)

 

[seoulsearch]

You see, here's the pitfall most Christians are trapped into, especially in Protestant churches, where it is widely believed that Chrstianity is a relationship between Jesus and each believer, you can know Him by reading the bible, a collection of 66 ancient books translted from two other ancient languages, all by yourself without anybody else's interference. The precedence and the attitude of the Ethiopian eunuch speaks otherwise, and that's the example I'd follow. A supposed "spiritual leader" may not be spiritually superior, but apostle Phillip is surely spiritually superior over the eunuch, don't you think?

Philip ran to him, and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he asked Philip to come up and sit with him. (Acts. 8:30-31)

You are entitled to your beliefs.

I don't see most of what you're saying in this thread as being what the Bible teaches, but that's just me. I don't believe in trying to walk the Christian life alone, or without leaders, teachers, and pastors -- I just don't seem them as being automatically spiritually superior just because their title.

After all, how many spiritual leaders have we all seen, even at the local level, taken down by lust, affairs, and pornography?

Now if God someday hands you the medal for having understanding above most anyone else, then scolds "the rest of us" who are trapped in all these pitfalls you are claiming to be above, I will surely own up to it and take my beating.

But what you preach, and keep doubling down on, is not the Gospel I have come to know and believe.

* May I ask, who are your spiritual leaders and teachers?

* Whose authority in spiritual teaching do you submit yourself to? Who do you see as being spiritually superior to you? Who can you name that I can go to and inquire about your teachings because they are the one who taught you?

* And if you don't have any spiritual authorities over you, do you claim to have authority by yourself?

Because that would mean you're trapped in the same pitfall as you are saying "most" other Christians are in.

 

[seoulsearch]

You see, here's the pitfall most Christians are trapped into, especially in Protestant churches, where it is widely believed that Chrstianity is a relationship between Jesus and each believer, you can know Him by reading the bible, a collection of 66 ancient books translted from two other ancient languages, all by yourself without anybody else's interference. The precedence and the attitude of the Ethiopian eunuch speaks otherwise, and that's the example I'd follow. A supposed "spiritual leader" may not be spiritually superior, but apostle Phillip is surely spiritually superior over the eunuch, don't you think?

Philip ran to him, and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he asked Philip to come up and sit with him. (Acts. 8:30-31)

I'm not sure how familiar you are with forum settings like this -- but usually, no one here is going to blindly believe in or be interested in what you have to say unless you can back it with your tangible credibility (sources that can be checked,) and your own personal life experiences.

 

[RegisterNow]

It's wonderful that God has blessed you with so much.

But why spend all of those many blessings on trying to police what other people do or don't do regarding marriage, especially when many are called by God Himself to marry?

I am honestly not trying to criticize, but to understand.

I am trying to wrap my head around someone who is almost a millionaire and yet says he's never met a woman -- apparently not even at work? Not to marry, but just as a person?

And if you avoid women because you are afraid they will scam you and try to take what you have, I can understand that too.

But I need a little more help in understanding.

You won't understand the sexually repressive culture I grew up in as a single kid, or the social system without any meaningful welfare program, pension and medicare are for a privileged few. Everybody saves, refrains from reckless spending and avoids unnecessary risk - such as dating - because your savings is all you have in case of unemployment, medical emergency or other accidents. Plus, when at work, everybody is busy at work, everybody is staring at the screen all the time, nobody socializes casually, especially in the post #MeToo and post COVID era.

 

[RegisterNow]

Don't believe you. All you've done is complain and lecture since you got here. I know people who are grateful for what they have and they don't talk like you do.

Don't believe me, believe the word of God. Hannah was sad and miserable, as the Lord closed her womb. She came to the Lord, repented her sins and corrected her attitude, she went back content, only then did the Lord remember her and open her womb.

But to Hannah he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah, although the Lord had closed her womb. And her rival also provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it was, year by year, when she went up to the house of the Lord, that she provoked her; therefore she wept and did not eat. (1 Sam. 1:5-6)

Hannah answered and said, “No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman, for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now.” Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.” And she said, “Let your maidservant find favor in your sight.” So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad. Then they rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord, and returned and came to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked for him from the Lord.” (1 Sam. 1:15-20)

 

[Mem]

You won't understand the sexually repressive culture I grew up in as a single kid, or the social system without any meaningful welfare program, pension and medicare are for a privileged few. Everybody saves, refrains from reckless spending and avoids unnecessary risk - such as dating - because your savings is all you have in case of unemployment, medical emergency or other accidents. Plus, when at work, everybody is busy at work, everybody is staring at the screen all the time, nobody socializes casually, especially in the post #MeToo and post COVID era.

Never venturing out without a 'covid' mask is reflective of the current 'outlook,' I'm afraid. Nobody knows how to see with the 'good eye,' if anyone ever did in former times. Venturing to marry is venturing the risk of engaging a Jezebel, for instance. But the reality is that, whether single or married, it's all a suffering (within this world), isn't it?