How Much Would YOU Pay to Keep Your Parents And/Or Grandparents From Living in Sin?
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Oh. You're one of those.
Okay, let's see just how effective you are at arguing with such an abrasive, antagonistic manner.
seoulsearch I'm done. This one is not going to be civil. Go ahead and tear him apart with logic... In Christian love, of course.
*Lynx goes off to find the popcorn.
Oh. You're one of those. Okay, let's see just how effective you are at arguing with such an abrasive, antagonistic manner.
seoulsearch I'm done. This one is not going to be civil. Go ahead and tear him apart with logic... In Christian love, of course.
*Lynx goes off to find the popcorn.
Lol. It's ok. And I appreciate that we can disagree respectfully.
(I've had some people tell me for years that Lynx and I just kiss up to each other, but the thing is, we disagree on a very regular basis -- sometimes daily.) The thing is, we either keep our disagreements on the forum polite -- or else they never reach the forum at all. Any heated arguments we have, and there have been many, stay off the forum.
As for the more aggressive conversations that arise... I'm very used to it.
Pretty much any thread I write -- whether it's about soda or sexual abuse -- eventually wind up in the weeds.
And after almost 16 years of writing threads on CC, I've come to anticipate it.
Food has always been my biggest area of weakness.
For years I struggled with going back and forth between anorexic and bulimic behaviors, but my symptoms didn't "qualify" for an official medical diagnosis.
Something else the church never talks about is that fasting, while of course, spiritually beneficial, can also be troubling, and even dangerous, for people struggling with disordered eating.
I was constantly trying to go on fasts for the sake of getting "closer to God" (which was genuine, as I was at a breaking point in dealing with the agony of my soul.)
I eventually tried to go on a 30-day fast of not eating until 5 PM -- until God clearly told me. "SEOUL! YOU. ARE. STARVING YOURSELF. STOP."
Fasting can be the perfect way for eating disordered people to guard their secret under the guise of spiritual growth.
I'm an American size 6 jean (apparently the average size for American women right now is 16-18.) I'm not obese (though the doctor's charts tell me I am.) Like most anyone, I could stand to lose a few pounds. But I grew up with a mother (whom I love dearly) who is a size 0, and I was often compared to her. And so I thought there was something wrong with me because as hard as I tried, I couldn't get down to that size.
I've always had a lot of compassion for anyone who struggles with food and weight, because I know that fight very well, and also with habitual sins (alcohol, drugs, pornography.) I can't relate to those things directly, but I can most definitely relate to the pull of constantly having to fight off an extremely strong pull.
For me, food is very much a willful sin, and one that I lose more battles with than win.
If others claim that they never willfully sin, may God bless them for a level of spirituality I know I'll never achieve this side of heaven.
If only everyone were as perfect as me. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
Now, I can say from experience that the only thing worse than being a single widow(er) in church is being single after a divorce. You can see people literally change direction to avoid you.
Yeah, and even if the divorced marry again, look at the wonderful round of secondary judgement and isolation that awaits them if their spouse should happen to die before them.
But yet no one in church talks about this.
The actual point, and true question of this thread, was given in bold print in the opening post:
I'm not asking about judging whether or not you can accurately judge if the person is sinning, or how willful it is, or what you should tell them to do. Of course, it could be that you ARE meant to say something to them, but as a result, what if God tells you that YOU are the one to help them with finances, meals, and physical assistance?
What I'm really asking is:
If God Himself convicted YOU of helping others -- no if's, and's or butt's -- He just tells you He wants you to help, and it's going to cost you time and money -- how much are you willing to give?
If you're looking for more confrontational, debate-style exchanges, you'll find a plethora of treasures in the Bible Discussion Forum.
As you can see, Singles usually leans toward sharing Scriptures, thoughts and life stories based on each member's personal experience.
While of course you're welcome to stay or pop in to visit, I get the feeling you're not going to find much of what you're looking for here in Singles.
Lol!
Someone commented to me that the reason the site is crashing is because @Lynx and I disagreed!
Lynx and I disagree all the time.
We just don't make it a public spectacle.
Someone commented to me that the reason the site is crashing is because @Lynx and I disagreed!
Lynx and I disagree all the time.
We just don't make it a public spectacle.
Well honestly the initial example could be solved with a marriage license and a pastor.Lol!
Someone commented to me that the reason the site is crashing is because @Lynx and I disagreed!
Lynx and I disagree all the time.
We just don't make it a public spectacle.
If you want to posit a scenario that requires one's active and ongoing assistance, there are better ones available. Drug addiction is an easy one. Are you willing to be there for the drug addict while he is going through withdrawal? Are you willing to answer the phone and talk for hours? Are you willing to even go to his house and talk for hours? Are you willing to be an activity director on-demand, to keep him busy when the craving is strong? How many months are you willing to be there for him?
There are other scenarios you could use, but that's the first one I thought up.
I haven't gotten any updates on the couple's situation in my original post (not that it's any of my business,) so I don't know what they have decided.
Marriage can seem like the easiest answer, but sometimes it isn't. Many older people are concerned about losing financial aid based on income if they get married. As an individual, they might qualify for income-based disability and medical programs. Getting married means combining incomes, even if they are just from social security which might significantly reduce or eliminate those benefits.
I know people will say "The Lord will provide," but I'd be interested in seeing them go through the same thing and come back to tell the story of how God provided for them. (And if any of you reading have stories to share, please do!) It's not that I don't trust that God provides -- I also know there is the passage about never seeing the righteous begging for bread (Psalm 37:25,) but that has not been my experience. I've seen plenty of people in the churches I've attended suffer from extreme financial hardships (and yes, I know some would then say it must be because they're not "real" Christians?)
Right now there are certain tax credits to help income-based qualifiers to pay for health insurance. If the credits go away or my income goes over the threshold, I'm looking at paying around $660 or more a month for health insurance. And I'm considered to be relatively young and relatively healthy.
Can you imagine the cost for two seniors if they lost their government medical care due to their combined incomes being too high? Let's just take the number I'm looking at -- can you picture the stress and burden for a senior couple (or anyone, for that matter,) if they had to pay an extra $660 a month? And if both people failed to qualify, that number would double to at least $1320 a month.
I'm guessing in many cases, Grandma and Grandpa would be very unlikely to just go out and get jobs at Walmart to make up for that cost (and that's just the premiums -- never mind the co-pays and everything they don't pay for.) I had a medical incidence a few years ago, and even though I had insurance, my part of the bill was $7000 out of pocket.
So especially for those who are older and/or disabled and unable to work and counting on various income-based programs, you can see why this would be a huge concern if getting married would lower their assistance.
I love this, thank you for reminding us of this passage!
I always get the warm fuzzies when the Bible reports that from then on, John took Mary into his own home and always looked out for her.
I was just reading an article a while back -- I'm not sure if it can be verified, and I should have written it down -- but it claimed that John even made arrangements to make sure Mary would be cared for when he was exiled to Patmos.
That's a lot of if there.
I got another if. If they don't register a marriage with the state, is it still valid in God's eyes? If you get the pastor to come by and do a ceremony, but don't get a marriage license, is it still a marriage? And on the other side, if you do that is it taking care of yourself and your (shhhh, don't tell the gubmint) spouse, or is it dishonest?
And that only matters IF all that other stuff about losing money by getting married is true.
(Yes I know this is getting sidetracked by the example again. But it's YOUR example and you continued discussion about it, so I'm blaming you.)
I know the "Is marriage still legal to God even when you've chosen to do it outside of the law?" question has been asked frequently, probably from the time marriage was made something legally regulated by government.
I don't know the answer.
I do know that the financial issues are of grave concern.
After all, money issues are said to be the #1 cause of divorce/troubled marriages, and I'm sure that doesn't stop being trouble just because a couple is older.
I would imagine that for many, it's a worry that actually gets worse over time, because so many older people are on fixed incomes, yet the cost of everything is constantly going up.
No worries about other examples!!!
The rabbit trails are sometimes the best parts of a thread!
I would also like to take a moment to express my extreme gratitude towards those who read through my entire first post before participating in my threads.
Seasoned members already know that 90% of my serious threads are written in such a way that the title says one thing -- but the original posts often contains nuances that change the trajectory of the discussion.
After putting in a lot of time writing threads, I learned to do it this way because it acts as a filter that flushes out a lot of the more battle-style arguments. Not all of them, but making it so that readers might want to read the first post to know what's really going on does seem to help.
I know my posts are long.
I know they can seem circular, boring, and without meaning (especially when some members here can take a page of what I've said and say the same thing more eloquently in 2 sentences.)
I know people might not have time to read the first post, and that's ok. Even if they just want to answer the title question, I'm always hoping they'll want to participate in a civil discussion, even when some disagree.
There are all kinds of forums and threads here for different kinds of people, and that's part of why I enjoy this site so much.
But my threads are really for those who don't mind reading a long first post, want to share, and are interested in what others have to say. Even if they can't read every post, especially if the thread is several pages long, I always appreciate their time and courtesy.
The goal of all of my threads is to hopefully foster a good conversation, and I want to thank everyone who makes this possible!
Seasoned members already know that 90% of my serious threads are written in such a way that the title says one thing -- but the original posts often contains nuances that change the trajectory of the discussion.
After putting in a lot of time writing threads, I learned to do it this way because it acts as a filter that flushes out a lot of the more battle-style arguments. Not all of them
, but making it so that readers might want to read the first post to know what's really going on does seem to help. I know my posts are long.
I know they can seem circular, boring, and without meaning (especially when some members here can take a page of what I've said and say the same thing more eloquently in 2 sentences.)
I know people might not have time to read the first post, and that's ok. Even if they just want to answer the title question, I'm always hoping they'll want to participate in a civil discussion, even when some disagree.
There are all kinds of forums and threads here for different kinds of people, and that's part of why I enjoy this site so much.
But my threads are really for those who don't mind reading a long first post, want to share, and are interested in what others have to say. Even if they can't read every post, especially if the thread is several pages long, I always appreciate their time and courtesy.
The goal of all of my threads is to hopefully foster a good conversation, and I want to thank everyone who makes this possible!