Respect will come naturally?

[Shepherd]

My Wife's parents passed away a few years ago. I recall my wife mentioning to me how her mom had told her that they got along fine when they were alone but, when the kids(grown kids) came over, the whole tone changed and they were at odds with each other; there was conflict. I recall, many times, grandma correcting grandpa in front of us. I also remember him leaving family gatherings, at his home, going off, and working around his shed and I remember his kids, my brothers and sisters in law, complaining about him being out there instead of inside visiting with the family. Maybe he couldn't handle the disrespect?

Once, when my motherinlaw came to stay at our house, she, my wife and our daughter were sitting around the table talking when my motherinlaw goes off talking about "beards"(I have a goatee). She says "I don't like Tom's beard, or Dick's beard, and Harry's beard etc etc until she came to me, raised her voice and said "and I don't like XXXX's beard". I said nothing. A few minutes later she got up, walked across our living room, stopped and said "did that make you mad?" "You know. I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mentioned it".... and I let her know just how I felt about her words and attitude (verbally of course). Now you might think my Wife would not have appreciated her mom for saying those things but, you'd be wrong. My wife and daughter instantly stepped in to defend grandma. But I had had enough. Anyway, grandma is gone, God rest her soul, but I feel I've provided a fraction of the background, and I'm still dealing with some of the effects.

I just got off the phone with my wife, she was out with her sister and our daughter. I'm at my office, called about a business matter and she was disrespectful and dismissive over the phone. She spoke to me like I was bothering her, in front of them. It's not the first time. I have had her call me down and humiliate me in front of all our kids in a crowded restaurant. When she did it, I was silent for a few seconds, then quietly said "lets go" At least she agreed to leave with me. She has let our kids backtalk and scold me without stepping in or saying a word. . I have had her stand back and say nothing when I was fussed and cussed at by a stranger in my own yard. What's that MLK said about the words of our enemies and the "silence of our friends"?

Ok, so I continually try to work on my part in this.......
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
1 Peter 3: 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Woops.....where did that one come from? Why would Ephesians 5:33 tell a wife to "reverence her husband" if that just comes naturally to her AFTER the husband does his part and "leads"? I've heard preachers say that if the man shapes up, she will submit and follow. And if that's not true (which it isn't) then what if she doesn't read scriptures like Ephesians 5:22-24 ? What if she doesn't learn about "defraud not ye one the other"? Surely it would be a big "no no" for her husband to read stuff that to her; that would be controlling and manipulative. So why do pastors tell wives what a great job they're doing, on Mother's Day, and scold the men on Father's Day? The scriptures don't do that?

"When the husband is the right kind of head, there is no problem with the wife being submissive"- Chuck Swindoll
Really Chuck?

 

[Mem]

I think is a problem that this issue had become problematic ever since Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden tree, the battle for control over one another. And the solution is even more problematic, that is to give control one to the other. It's problematic because, if it happens at all, only one is gracious enough to do this 'submit to one another.' I notice a peculiar similarity between God's address to Eve regarding Adam and Cain's regarding sin. God told Eve, "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." And God told Cain regarding sin, "Sin crouches at the door, and it's desire is for you, but you should rule over it." Especially noting that God didn't tell Eve that Adam 'should' rule over her, and also that it is 'naturally' easier for Adam to rule over Eve than it is that anyone 'could' rule over sin, I believe this understanding of it is the closest to accurate, and because of that, is a lot easier to remedy by applying another just as accurate truth.

For instance, if Adam's supposed "should" rule over Eve isn't precisely accurate, his attempt to subvert her would only throw off the balance that much more which would only result in another degree of imbalance.

But if you're just trying to figure out how to get your wife to submit by stripping her of any authority as applicable to your body, then I'm not sure that can be helped.

 

[Shepherd]

Mem,
For several decades now, the "world" has propagated "women's lib", "free love", "feminism", and now "drag queen story times" and "transgenders" going into women's bathrooms and competing in women's sports. You know, ideas that help destroy the family. They taught everyone that women were oppressed and masculine men were "toxic" until, I think the preachers in churches went along with it to varying degrees. The world has tried to make it so unfashionable to be a masculine man that it's now more acceptable to be a sissified queer.

The Bible never says for a husband to "strip" anything from his wife's 'authority. It does tell him to "love" her and it tells her to "submit to" and "reverence" him. He shouldn't have to be domineering. What the Bible DOES say is for preachers to preach the whole counsel of God instead of just what they are comfortable with. So, if all one can do is tell the husbands what a sorry job they are doing, knowing that the men will just "take it like a man" while failing to preach about the shortcomings and sins of wives, letting them think they are doing great with no Biblical correction then, you are letting the world affect your preaching, families are hurting, and falling apart.

A husband shouldn't have to teach his wife to "submit", "reverence him", "obey" and he certainly should not have to teach her to "defraud not" in their bedroom. And the Bible never says he should: it says the PASTOR should. But too many pastors don't have the guts to teach those things to the ladies because I guess they are afraid it will affect attendance. Again, men like Chuck Swindoll, have said "When the husband is the right kind of head, there is no problem with the wife being submissive". That is the same as saying that, unlike men, women have no faults which need correcting, their behavior depends solely on their husband's. Show me that in the Bible. Isnt the Bible where our theology should come from?

 

[Mem]

Mem,
For several decades now, the "world" has propagated "women's lib", "free love", "feminism", and now "drag queen story times" and "transgenders" going into women's bathrooms and competing in women's sports. You know, ideas that help destroy the family. They taught everyone that women were oppressed and masculine men were "toxic" until, I think the preachers in churches went along with it to varying degrees. The world has tried to make it so unfashionable to be a masculine man that it's now more acceptable to be a sissified queer.

The Bible never says for a husband to "strip" anything from his wife's 'authority. It does tell him to "love" her and it tells her to "submit to" and "reverence" him. He shouldn't have to be domineering. What the Bible DOES say is for preachers to preach the whole counsel of God instead of just what they are comfortable with. So, if all one can do is tell the husbands what a sorry job they are doing, knowing that the men will just "take it like a man" while failing to preach about the shortcomings and sins of wives, letting them think they are doing great with no Biblical correction then, you are letting the world affect your preaching, families are hurting, and falling apart.

A husband shouldn't have to teach his wife to "submit", "reverence him", "obey" and he certainly should not have to teach her to "defraud not" in their bedroom. And the Bible never says he should: it says the PASTOR should. But too many pastors don't have the guts to teach those things to the ladies because I guess they are afraid it will affect attendance. Again, men like Chuck Swindoll, have said "When the husband is the right kind of head, there is no problem with the wife being submissive". That is the same as saying that, unlike men, women have no faults which need correcting, their behavior depends solely on their husband's. Show me that in the Bible. Isnt the Bible where our theology should come from?

On the most recent Mother's Day celebrations, I made a cynical comment questioning 'why do we celebrate mother's for doing their duty when all the bad kids in the world are clearly evidence that many mothers are obviously slacking?" And all the man-haters in the world prove nothing of how men have failed any more than failed fathers speaks to the failures of women 'not knowing their place.' But then, all the blaming also goes back as far as the first family, Adam and Eve.
2Tim3:16-17 says that scripture is 'profitable' for doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness so, if nothing productive has come from the preaching then, I'm only left with the presumption that scripture hasn't been represented as adequately as it should be to return any gain. I don't believe that nobody preaches that message, but more specifically what they think the message should be rather than preaching exactly what that message is, because it has not been profitable. Keep trying the same thing over and over again though, if you're that crazy.

 

[Mordy]

........ (great verses here, thanks for posting them)

Ok, so I continually try to work on my part in this.......
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
1 Peter 3: 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

"When the husband is the right kind of head, there is no problem with the wife being submissive"- Chuck Swindoll
Really Chuck?

I really appreciate your post Shepherd. It's food for thought and the questions that you raise are very important. Both the man and the woman have an obligation to respect. Disrespect is never justified by either the husband or the wife. Or the children for that matter. I feel your pain. It's very serious stuff. And yet your father in heaven knows your pain and longs for you to be whole and healed from this pain.

As far as the quote at the very bottom by Chuck's Swindoll, I do believe that he is saying that it's good for the wife to be submissive to the husband, and that if we treat our wives with respect it will be easier. But it is also true that women have the responsibility to understand they must come under the authority of God as well to know how to be respectful and submissive. When they decide to do their own thing, it does become more difficult to exercise your godly authority. Peace to you, my brother I will pray for you.

 

[Karlon]

My Wife's parents passed away a few years ago. I recall my wife mentioning to me how her mom had told her that they got along fine when they were alone but, when the kids(grown kids) came over, the whole tone changed and they were at odds with each other; there was conflict. I recall, many times, grandma correcting grandpa in front of us. I also remember him leaving family gatherings, at his home, going off, and working around his shed and I remember his kids, my brothers and sisters in law, complaining about him being out there instead of inside visiting with the family. Maybe he couldn't handle the disrespect?

Once, when my motherinlaw came to stay at our house, she, my wife and our daughter were sitting around the table talking when my motherinlaw goes off talking about "beards"(I have a goatee). She says "I don't like Tom's beard, or Dick's beard, and Harry's beard etc etc until she came to me, raised her voice and said "and I don't like XXXX's beard". I said nothing. A few minutes later she got up, walked across our living room, stopped and said "did that make you mad?" "You know. I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mentioned it".... and I let her know just how I felt about her words and attitude (verbally of course). Now you might think my Wife would not have appreciated her mom for saying those things but, you'd be wrong. My wife and daughter instantly stepped in to defend grandma. But I had had enough. Anyway, grandma is gone, God rest her soul, but I feel I've provided a fraction of the background, and I'm still dealing with some of the effects.

I just got off the phone with my wife, she was out with her sister and our daughter. I'm at my office, called about a business matter and she was disrespectful and dismissive over the phone. She spoke to me like I was bothering her, in front of them. It's not the first time. I have had her call me down and humiliate me in front of all our kids in a crowded restaurant. When she did it, I was silent for a few seconds, then quietly said "lets go" At least she agreed to leave with me. She has let our kids backtalk and scold me without stepping in or saying a word. . I have had her stand back and say nothing when I was fussed and cussed at by a stranger in my own yard. What's that MLK said about the words of our enemies and the "silence of our friends"?

Ok, so I continually try to work on my part in this.......
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
1 Peter 3: 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Woops.....where did that one come from? Why would Ephesians 5:33 tell a wife to "reverence her husband" if that just comes naturally to her AFTER the husband does his part and "leads"? I've heard preachers say that if the man shapes up, she will submit and follow. And if that's not true (which it isn't) then what if she doesn't read scriptures like Ephesians 5:22-24 ? What if she doesn't learn about "defraud not ye one the other"? Surely it would be a big "no no" for her husband to read stuff that to her; that would be controlling and manipulative. So why do pastors tell wives what a great job they're doing, on Mother's Day, and scold the men on Father's Day? The scriptures don't do that?

"When the husband is the right kind of head, there is no problem with the wife being submissive"- Chuck Swindoll
Really Chuck?

everyone who has ever been married, most likely, has had to condone with family & "in-law" problems. psychologists will tell you that people who want to be in control will speak as the people did your posting. mothers & grandmothers will always try to assert dominance. also, the "protection" factor that moms are ready, willing & able to enact immediately. once, awhile back, a lady said to me, "you ruined the pictures because of your eye"! i knew what she meant immediately. i have amblyopia in an eye. what a horrible thing to say to someone with a deficit. i did not respond to her & treated her respectably til her death. these tests, trials & temptations are to be treated as James teaches. "count it all joy". some people are just naturally responsive in a derisive mocking way, & selfishly. each time they act that way, they are reinforcing their conditioned response. i think the pastors mean that no matter who, there's always going to be trouble in these situations. a truly Christian woman should always be attentive to be submissive as Jesus teaches. likewise men, be the proper Christian leader at all times in the home. in recent years, during real trying situations, i will get respectably close to someone, speak very boldly & directly while looking them in the eye constantly. i'm telling you, it works. for me, the very direct, strait forward, approach works. especially if it's backed with truth & honesty. fortunately,, i haven't had many encounters as such. remember Psalm 29:11: "a fool uttereth all his mind but a wise man keepeth it until afterwards". Proverbs 4:7: "wisdom is the principle thing, therefore get wisdom. and with all thy getting, get understanding".

 

[Shepherd]

On the most recent Mother's Day celebrations, I made a cynical comment questioning 'why do we celebrate mother's for doing their duty when all the bad kids in the world are clearly evidence that many mothers are obviously slacking?" And all the man-haters in the world prove nothing of how men have failed any more than failed fathers speaks to the failures of women 'not knowing their place.' But then, all the blaming also goes back as far as the first family, Adam and Eve.
2Tim3:16-17 says that scripture is 'profitable' for doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness so, if nothing productive has come from the preaching then, I'm only left with the presumption that scripture hasn't been represented as adequately as it should be to return any gain. I don't believe that nobody preaches that message, but more specifically what they think the message should be rather than preaching exactly what that message is, because it has not been profitable. Keep trying the same thing over and over again though, if you're that crazy.

This is not about placing blame on women, or men for that matter. it's about the tradition, of placing all of the blame and responsibility on one spouse; namely men, husbands and fathers, when the Bible clearly does not. The world/world system already does that: the "crazy" is found in continuing to propagate that from pulpits. What's that saying "insanity is continuing to repeat the same thing over and over while expecting a different result"?

1 Peter 3 does NOT place all the blame/responsibility on men. husbands and fathers
Titus 2 doesn't.
Ephesians 5 doesn't.
Neither does Colossians 3
All of these outline the responsibilities of both husbands and wives. Then 1 Corinthians 7 does the same but adds something else.

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

There are multitudes of people who haven't had intimate relations with their spouse for YEARS. There are countless families, affected by this, which have broken up. As an aside, tell me how getting married works "to avoid fornication" when a marriage is "sexless"? What the world calls "cheating" the Bible calls "adultery". But what the Bible calls "cheating" is to "defraud" your spouse. Is this an uncomfortable subject to preach on? Because, in all the years I've been a church member, I don't remember it being preached on, or at least expounded on. Maybe it was read over a time or two. The crux of the matter again, is to quit blaming one spouse for the demise of the family and admonish BOTH spouses, at the same time, like 1 Peter 3, Titus 2, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3 and 1 Corinthians 7 do. I would think that should end some of the insanity, at least with respect to preaching.

 

[Mordy]

..........
. . . 1 Peter 3 does NOT place all the blame/responsibility on men. husbands and fathers
Titus 2 doesn't.
Ephesians 5 doesn't.
Neither does Colossians 3
All of these outline the responsibilities of both husbands and wives. Then 1 Corinthians 7 .......

.... The crux of the matter again, is to quit blaming one spouse for the demise of the family and admonish BOTH spouses, at the same time, like 1 Peter 3, Titus 2, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3 and 1 Corinthians 7 do. I would think that should end some of the insanity, at least with respect to preaching.

Can you name the specific verse number or quote a little bit here about which elements do you want to highlight? I mean it's all good. I'm just wondering if there are specific things that you had in mind that you would like to explain a little further.

 

[Shepherd]

Can you name the specific verse number or quote a little bit here about which elements do you want to highlight? I mean it's all good. I'm just wondering if there are specific things that you had in mind that you would like to explain a little further.

1 Peter 3, Colossians 3, 1 Corinthians 7, and Ephesians 5 all teach the responsibilities of both Husbands and Wives. But the one I will look at, right now, is Titus 2. The preacher's responsibilities are in red, the women's in purple and the men's in blue.

Titus 2
But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,
8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.


One of my former pastors said, on more than one occasion, "nowhere in the Bible does it say for a wife to love her husband". Why he wanted us to know that still escapes me but, that's like saying "nowhere in the Bible does it say that abortion is wrong". The statement is "true" but as doctrine it's incorrect. Titus 2:4 says that "aged women" are to teach the younger women to "love their husbands". That leaves no doubt that God actually does want wives to love their husband and to teach otherwise would not be sound doctrine. While husbands are commanded in all of the above scriptures to "love your wives", Wives are told directly to "submit to", "be in subjection to". We see that God's very apparent desire for wives to love their husbands is not a direct command, at least not in any of the scriptures I've shown here.. Maybe it's because Love is a verb, an action, instead of just a "feeling", and it needs to be taught and cultivated as such in this instance. What say you?

 

[Mordy]

1 Peter 3, Colossians 3, 1 Corinthians 7, and Ephesians 5 all teach the responsibilities of both Husbands and Wives. But the one I will look at, right now, is Titus 2. The preacher's responsibilities are in red, the women's in purple and the men's in blue.

Titus 2
But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,
8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.


One of my former pastors said, on more than one occasion, "nowhere in the Bible does it say for a wife to love her husband". Why he wanted us to know that still escapes me but, that's like saying "nowhere in the Bible does it say that abortion is wrong". The statement is "true" but as doctrine it's incorrect. Titus 2:4 says that "aged women" are to teach the younger women to "love their husbands". That leaves no doubt that God actually does want wives to love their husband and to teach otherwise would not be sound doctrine. While husbands are commanded in all of the above scriptures to "love your wives", Wives are told directly to "submit to", "be in subjection to". We see that God's very apparent desire for wives to love their husbands is not a direct command, at least not in any of the scriptures I've shown here.. Maybe it's because Love is a verb, an action, instead of just a "feeling", and it needs to be taught and cultivated as such in this instance. What say you?

Very good comments thank you so much for responding. It seems that some people don't want to follow the word and others want to avoid the more difficult passages. I want to read and meditate on all the difficult passages including everything in James. There is a time to rebuke And it is difficult to rebuke in love when you're being provoked. You can see my comments on the masturbation thread. I shared some personal things there and strategies to avoid lust that I have learned through the trial by fire at great cost, and with dire consequences. However, I don't think that I took seriously enough the need to discuss in a loving manner the passages that you have highlighted above. It's interesting that my wife wrote out the passage instructing men to be temperate, but she never said anything about the subsequent passage that followed giving Advice to women. I think I must've read it many times, but sometimes things don't sink in until you experience the difficulties caused by dysfunction and a lack of leading by the Holy Spirit. Thank you very much. Please pray for me. I'm on a very good path now, but still, there is great amount of pain And uncertainty.
Peace to you my brother.
Shabbat Shalom.

 

[Mem]

But what the Bible calls "cheating" is to "defraud" your spouse.

I prefer the Puritan interpretation of this passage, although the idea is more toward one spouse or the other "being cheated" which covers a broader sense of meaning than the general understanding of 'cheating.' Excuse me if I explain it using a somewhat awkward example. That is, it is possible that your wife submit to you with all its implications and yet you may leave her 'cheated.' I mean, what if she needed three minutes and only received two, and then meh? And so, there would be an agreement to abstain for a period... and then come together again.
And if continue in this same sense with another woman in adultery, you could then be considered a serial cheater.
And if you don't get my explanation, then I'm considering you suspect.
Re: the reason why it isn't necessary to preach that wives should love husband is because, supposedly, love is as naturally understood by a woman as respect is by a man.

 

[Shepherd]

I prefer the Puritan interpretation of this passage, although the idea is more toward one spouse or the other "being cheated" which covers a broader sense of meaning than the general understanding of 'cheating.' Excuse me if I explain it using a somewhat awkward example. That is, it is possible that your wife submit to you with all its implications and yet you may leave her 'cheated.' I mean, what if she needed three minutes and only received two, and then meh? And so, there would be an agreement to abstain for a period... and then come together again.
And if continue in this same sense with another woman in adultery, you could then be considered a serial cheater.
And if you don't get my explanation, then I'm considering you suspect.
Re: the reason why it isn't necessary to preach that wives should love husband is because, supposedly, love is as naturally understood by a woman as respect is by a man.

The word defraud in this context means to cheat somebody out of what belongs to them. It's a huge factor in destroying marriages. So is adultery. No, I don't know what your little comment about "considering you suspect" is about but I have done neither, if that's what you're implying. And if love, in all the necessary forms, is naturally understood by a woman, then the phrase "teach the younger women to love their husbands" would not be in the Bible.

 

[Mem]

The word defraud in this context means to cheat somebody out of what belongs to them. It's a huge factor in destroying marriages. So is adultery. No, I don't know what your little comment about "considering you suspect" is about but I have done neither, if that's what you're implying. And if love, in all the necessary forms, is naturally understood by a woman, then the phrase "teach the younger women to love their husbands" would not be in the Bible.

Misunderstanding is expected if we are speaking two different languages, but it's especially problematic if it appears we are speaking the same language and we're not. Jesus expecting to see early figs and cursing the tree to withering when none were found comes to mind.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

"When the husband is the right kind of head, there is no problem with the wife being submissive"- Chuck Swindoll
Really Chuck?

I agree with Chuck, women these days do not want to be told what to do and play the supportive role.

 

[Mem]

I prefer the Puritan interpretation of this passage

I had to come back and correct the misapplication of this doctrine to the Puritans, who persecuted those I was thinking of, as I often have a time differentiating who's who considering all the various contemporaneous subsets of Christianity. I was actually thinking of the Quaker idea of 'due benevolence.'

 

[Shepherd]

I agree with Chuck, women these days do not want to be told what to do and play the supportive role.

I'm not sure what you mean. The quote, by Chuck Swindoll. assumes that all wives are in a state of being ready and willing to submit if husbands meet the condition of being "the right kind of head".

 

[Shepherd]

I prefer the Puritan interpretation of this passage, although the idea is more toward one spouse or the other "being cheated" which covers a broader sense of meaning than the general understanding of 'cheating.' Excuse me if I explain it using a somewhat awkward example. That is, it is possible that your wife submit to you with all its implications and yet you may leave her 'cheated.' I mean, what if she needed three minutes and only received two, and then meh? And so, there would be an agreement to abstain for a period... and then come together again.
And if continue in this same sense with another woman in adultery, you could then be considered a serial cheater.
And if you don't get my explanation, then I'm considering you suspect.
Re: the reason why it isn't necessary to preach that wives should love husband is because, supposedly, love is as naturally understood by a woman as respect is by a man.

If that were the case, then Titus 2:4 would not be in the Bible.

2 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:

2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

 

[Mem]

If that were the case, then Titus 2:4 would not be in the Bible.

2 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:

2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

Of course, the wife is expected to love their husbands as likewise are the husbands given the same charge.