I literally said “ni hi hice” out loud when you mentioned pastor Greg Laurie’s church being right up the street.
I was born and raised in Orange County, so I am very familiar with the Harvest they have at Angel Stadium, though sadly I’ve never been there.
Also, I love going to that beach where they had the event in Corona Del Mar today, The Annual Jesus Christ Revolution Baptism Event. The first house I lived in was actually in Corona Del Mar as a baby but our family has been humbled quite a bit since then. I’ve almost lived in every city in Orange County. Now we live in Long Beach, where my Great Grandmother used to live.
What a journey it’s been.
My main church is in the city of Orange. I think the only reason I haven’t left yet after over a decade is cause I have a personal relationship with the pastor, where we email one another back and forth…or at least used to.
Lately, I feel like something is missing in my life and I don’t know what. I feel like I’m going to have a mental breakdown any day now, which is why I came back here for community.
I had way too many struggles in my life, most unnecessary and most self inflicted. There are not many of life's opportunities to fail that I did not take. Every failure was like a knife in my heart, leading to depression and intense self examination. None of this was any help - the opposite.
I was mad at myself and always looking for a "breakthrough" (whatever that means).
One day, my mentor and friend finally got me to see the truth. I had my breakthrough when I saw that I did not need one. When Jesus said, "It is finished" He meant everything. Most Christians think its just forgiveness of sin. It is far more than that.
We are finished. Jesus included us in His death and took us into the grave with Him. He left us there! He rose again from the dead and we rose with Him to be new creations. We are not the people we were before we were born again.
So why did I struggle? I had a deep down sense that I had to do something. Maybe I was not praying enough, perhaps I should fast more, or some other Christian "exercise" program, a spiritual gym workout 3 times a week or whatever.
It was like I was under a spell. That was broken when I saw that there was, in fact,
nothing that I could do. Jesus performed His finished work 2,000 years ago. I could do
nothing to add or to take away from it. All I needed to do was accept. I did, and it was the second best moment of my life. I no longer expect anything from myself. Jesus is my life, not just in theological terms but in reality.
I sin and fail still, but I don't go into depression like I did. My failures are fewer because I'm more dependent on Jesus than ever. My intuition is sharper and so I avoid trouble as God warns me. I'm not perfect. If my mind is overly preoccupied, I can miss that still voice within. If so, I kick myself, confess my sin and get on with life. It's the only way to live. And my wife has seen the change.
