Dating with Age Gaps

[Elizabeth35]

I've recently been hearing about how men in their 20s are pursuing women in their 30s and 40s. To be clear, it's not the women going after younger men, the men want an older woman! And it got me thinking...

Typically we've seen older men going after much younger women, for example, Leo DiCaprio who won't date a woman over 25 yet he's 50 years old. This is somewhat accepted and sometimes even expected in society, maybe the age gap isn't always quite that big but an older man with a younger woman is totally normal. However, when a woman dates a younger man she's called a "cougar."

Why does it matter who is older?
Does age actually matter or is it about your stage in life?
Is location and or cultural upbringing a factor?

I knew a couple from church a while back, she was about seven years older than her husband and seemed to feel a bit embarrassed by that, like it was taboo and needed to be kept secret.
Would a husband feel ashamed if he's the older one?

I know most of us here are happily single, but I'm wondering for those of you who are searching or open to a relationship, what is your age gap preference? Would you date only younger or only older? Five, ten, or even twenty years? What's your reasoning behind your age range?

I think I'd be okay with ten years younger or ten years older. I don't want to date someone who is still in college but I don't want to date someone with AARP either.
(*Note, for those outside North America, AARP is a nonprofit organization dedicated to those over the age of 50.)

 

[Lynx]

Here we go again...

 

[Lynx]

"Of course the actual analysis is much more complex, but I can't stick around to discuss it right now because I have a date."

 

[seanoflongbeach]

As a person who has courted an older woman 8 years older than me, I think it’s a great learning experience and you really get an idea of what does and doesn’t work for both of you, just like in any relationship. What are their beliefs and values? Do they have genuine faith? How do they handle extremely stressful situations? How do they treat you in the good times and the bad times? How do you treat them in the good times and the bad times? Are there things they need to work on? Are there things you need to work on?

In the end, it’s a learning experiencing; whether you move forward to marriage or move backwards to friends.

Ultimately your greatest love while you’re here on earth is Jesus. No one can replace Jesus.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I've recently been hearing about how men in their 20s are pursuing women in their 30s and 40s. To be clear, it's not the women going after younger men, the men want an older woman! And it got me thinking...

Typically we've seen older men going after much younger women, for example, Leo DiCaprio who won't date a woman over 25 yet he's 50 years old. This is somewhat accepted and sometimes even expected in society, maybe the age gap isn't always quite that big but an older man with a younger woman is totally normal. However, when a woman dates a younger man she's called a "cougar."

Why does it matter who is older?
Does age actually matter or is it about your stage in life?
Is location and or cultural upbringing a factor?

I knew a couple from church a while back, she was about seven years older than her husband and seemed to feel a bit embarrassed by that, like it was taboo and needed to be kept secret.
Would a husband feel ashamed if he's the older one?

I know most of us here are happily single, but I'm wondering for those of you who are searching or open to a relationship, what is your age gap preference? Would you date only younger or only older? Five, ten, or even twenty years? What's your reasoning behind your age range?

I think I'd be okay with ten years younger or ten years older. I don't want to date someone who is still in college but I don't want to date someone with AARP either.
(*Note, for those outside North America, AARP is a nonprofit organization dedicated to those over the age of 50.)

What matters is what the Bible says.
You will get all the typical answers from virtue signaling age gap drama queens. Yet the same will conveniently ignore prohibitions against marriage the Bible is clear about.

 

[JohnDB]

I've recently been hearing about how men in their 20s are pursuing women in their 30s and 40s. To be clear, it's not the women going after younger men, the men want an older woman! And it got me thinking...

Typically we've seen older men going after much younger women, for example, Leo DiCaprio who won't date a woman over 25 yet he's 50 years old. This is somewhat accepted and sometimes even expected in society, maybe the age gap isn't always quite that big but an older man with a younger woman is totally normal. However, when a woman dates a younger man she's called a "cougar."

Why does it matter who is older?
Does age actually matter or is it about your stage in life?
Is location and or cultural upbringing a factor?

I knew a couple from church a while back, she was about seven years older than her husband and seemed to feel a bit embarrassed by that, like it was taboo and needed to be kept secret.
Would a husband feel ashamed if he's the older one?

I know most of us here are happily single, but I'm wondering for those of you who are searching or open to a relationship, what is your age gap preference? Would you date only younger or only older? Five, ten, or even twenty years? What's your reasoning behind your age range?

I think I'd be okay with ten years younger or ten years older. I don't want to date someone who is still in college but I don't want to date someone with AARP either.
(*Note, for those outside North America, AARP is a nonprofit organization dedicated to those over the age of 50.)

Because Women:
begin clearing student debt...
They take the matter of marriage more serious (respect husbands, don't cheat)
They no longer overspend established budgets.
They actually enjoy their spouses on a personal level instead of the status of having a relationship.
And finally, these women are in a hurry to have children and a family instead of just playing around.

For guys....this is exactly what they want. No more squealing girls who have meltdowns over simple life occurrences. No more TicTok, instagram, or YouTube accounts to broadcast themselves for empty attention. They simply want to have a family, real loved ones instead of superficial relationships....and a legacy.

And most guys want a wife that wants these things...instead of a girl who does all the "no" things.

And the hot-crazy matrix is now defunct.

 

[MsMediator]

Because Women:
begin clearing student debt...
They take the matter of marriage more serious (respect husbands, don't cheat)
They no longer overspend established budgets.
They actually enjoy their spouses on a personal level instead of the status of having a relationship.
And finally, these women are in a hurry to have children and a family instead of just playing around.

For guys....this is exactly what they want. No more squealing girls who have meltdowns over simple life occurrences. No more TicTok, instagram, or YouTube accounts to broadcast themselves for empty attention. They simply want to have a family, real loved ones instead of superficial relationships....and a legacy.

And most guys want a wife that wants these things...instead of a girl who does all the "no" things.

And the hot-crazy matrix is now defunct.

How does this relate to age preference?

 

[MsMediator]

I've recently been hearing about how men in their 20s are pursuing women in their 30s and 40s. To be clear, it's not the women going after younger men, the men want an older woman! And it got me thinking...

Typically we've seen older men going after much younger women, for example, Leo DiCaprio who won't date a woman over 25 yet he's 50 years old. This is somewhat accepted and sometimes even expected in society, maybe the age gap isn't always quite that big but an older man with a younger woman is totally normal. However, when a woman dates a younger man she's called a "cougar."

Why does it matter who is older?
Does age actually matter or is it about your stage in life?
Is location and or cultural upbringing a factor?

I knew a couple from church a while back, she was about seven years older than her husband and seemed to feel a bit embarrassed by that, like it was taboo and needed to be kept secret.
Would a husband feel ashamed if he's the older one?

I know most of us here are happily single, but I'm wondering for those of you who are searching or open to a relationship, what is your age gap preference? Would you date only younger or only older? Five, ten, or even twenty years? What's your reasoning behind your age range?

I think I'd be okay with ten years younger or ten years older. I don't want to date someone who is still in college but I don't want to date someone with AARP either.
(*Note, for those outside North America, AARP is a nonprofit organization dedicated to those over the age of 50.)

Probably plus/minus 10 years is fine with me as well. I think younger guys who are mature are attractive. Older guys can come across as more stable/know what they want, which is also attractive.

 

[JohnDB]

How does this relate to age preference?

How does it not?

Young 20-something girls might be pretty but they definitely lack maturity. 20-something guys have had to mature to avoid the pitfalls of false accusations, baby/paycheck traps, and every other sort of manipulation or trap to enslave them....like student loan debt, worthless training schools or other training programs that cost more than they return...

 

[jacko]

the formula for guys is 1/2 your age +7

so if you are 18, then 9+7 = 16 is the absolute youngest you should go

at 40, then 27
30, 22
40, 27
50, 32

 

[Bob47]

So if I understand this correctly, being male, I should attempt to find a woman no younger than 46 since I'm 78 right? Actually, my main requirement is that a woman be a God fearing Christian.

 

[MsMediator]

How does it not?

Young 20-something girls might be pretty but they definitely lack maturity. 20-something guys have had to mature to avoid the pitfalls of false accusations, baby/paycheck traps, and every other sort of manipulation or trap to enslave them....like student loan debt, worthless training schools or other training programs that cost more than they return...

Ok. I think OP's post was more focused on how wide an age we would be willing to date but I see now she asked multiple questions and you responded to the earlier ones.

 

[Lynx]

So if I understand this correctly, being male, I should attempt to find a woman no younger than 46 since I'm 78 right? Actually, my main requirement is that a woman be a God fearing Christian.

Yes, well... There's also money. The more you have, the lower that age can go.

 

[RodB651]

Well, the problem with large age gaps is sooner or later, one of you is going to lose your mojo. If you're both ok with that, it's no problem. You can always fall back to whatever your hobbies are, maybe yard sales or Thursday night bingo at the Elks Lodge. But you will need some sort of something to do.

 

[Edith]

I've recently been hearing about how men in their 20s are pursuing women in their 30s and 40s. To be clear, it's not the women going after younger men, the men want an older woman! And it got me thinking...

Typically we've seen older men going after much younger women, for example, Leo DiCaprio who won't date a woman over 25 yet he's 50 years old. This is somewhat accepted and sometimes even expected in society, maybe the age gap isn't always quite that big but an older man with a younger woman is totally normal. However, when a woman dates a younger man she's called a "cougar."

Why does it matter who is older?
Does age actually matter or is it about your stage in life?
Is location and or cultural upbringing a factor?

I knew a couple from church a while back, she was about seven years older than her husband and seemed to feel a bit embarrassed by that, like it was taboo and needed to be kept secret.
Would a husband feel ashamed if he's the older one?

I know most of us here are happily single, but I'm wondering for those of you who are searching or open to a relationship, what is your age gap preference? Would you date only younger or only older? Five, ten, or even twenty years? What's your reasoning behind your age range?

I think I'd be okay with ten years younger or ten years older. I don't want to date someone who is still in college but I don't want to date someone with AARP either.
(*Note, for those outside North America, AARP is a nonprofit organization dedicated to those over the age of 50.)

Hey Lizzy
I would date a man in his 50s if he is strong enough. And here our men are still very strong in their 50s, they pamper and have seen it all. so they are caring and understanding but I préfère people of my late 30s early 40s for we have more in common.

By the way I am 37 and single so am open to all ages my age of choice has past so. if he is a genuine believer and mission minded why not.

 

[Edith]

So if I understand this correctly, being male, I should attempt to find a woman no younger than 46 since I'm 78 right? Actually, my main requirement is that a woman be a God fearing Christian.

Bob if you see a woman you like just go right away and ask them out. no limits. if they say yes, good. if they say no, move on.

 

[Edith]

"Of course the actual analysis is much more complex, but I can't stick around to discuss it right now because I have a date."

Funny and true analysis. I like the last statement. I would say somewhere at the end of all the analysis is the man for me.

 

[Bob47]

Edith, that's pretty much what I was thinking within reason of course. Forgot where I read it but a preacher said women are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped . Not sure about the handicapped part but so far, in my case, all the good ones are taken.

 

[NightTwister]

Age difference doesn't matter. I've tried older and younger with the same result.

 

[Edith]

Bob dear, I don't agree with your preacher. what does he mean all the good one are taken. With all the fine well mannered and cultured single women we find everywhere. Even here on CC we find beautiful, charming, heart warming women. talking of heart warming women where is @CarriePie.