Is Selflessness Even Possible?

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Mar 10, 2025
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Terra Firma (Earth)
#1
As Christians we are suppose to want to be selfless in helping others. But is it even possible? Almost all people operate from selfish disposition, even in doing good, because it makes them feel good.

The Apostle Paul says in the last days, “they will be lovers of self.” But arn’t all people? Most people gravitate towards pleasure and what makes them happy, even if its helping others.

I know our Lord Jesus says,
“You can bear not fruit apart from me, you are the branches, I am the vine.”
So does that mean only Jesus can be selfless through us? Like in Paul saying “it is no longer I who lives but Christ in me,”?

I am coming to terms with if I do anything because I really care or is it ego or because I derive pleasure or coping from the interactions.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,574
2,726
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#4
You can figure it out by understanding the difference between true humility vx false humility.

What is false humility?
What is true humility?

Is it when the group needs someone with real talents in an area to remain silent or degrade their abilities while untalented people try to make things the best they can?
 
Mar 31, 2023
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1,995
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Cheyenne WY
christiancommunityforum.com
#5
As Christians we are suppose to want to be selfless in helping others. But is it even possible?
The answer is yes, we can be. Not all the time, but one selfless act at a time.

I was at a neighborhood party a couple of nights ago. There were oodles of kids there. I was conversing with my friend about the kids. Told him that one of the courses I jog I finish up where there is a playground and I do stretches before walking back to the car and driving home. I raised four kids and missed when they were little. I like being around kids but nowadays I feign disinterest and try not to even look at them lest an accompanying adult think I might be a perv. I told my friend I would die to protect any of the kids there without giving it a second thought. My friend said he would too. I know I would because in the past I've put myself in danger by coming to the aid of adults who were being threatened by another. When those scenarios begin to unfold, I don't even think about it, I just act. That would be a moment of selflessness.

If only I could be selfless all the time. But then, even Jesus had to take some time for himself. I reckon that in these mortal bodies we have some limits.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,310
897
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#6
As Christians we are suppose to want to be selfless in helping others. But is it even possible? Almost all people operate from selfish disposition, even in doing good, because it makes them feel good.

The Apostle Paul says in the last days, “they will be lovers of self.” But arn’t all people? Most people gravitate towards pleasure and what makes them happy, even if its helping others.

I know our Lord Jesus says,
“You can bear not fruit apart from me, you are the branches, I am the vine.”
So does that mean only Jesus can be selfless through us? Like in Paul saying “it is no longer I who lives but Christ in me,”?

I am coming to terms with if I do anything because I really care or is it ego or because I derive pleasure or coping from the interactions.
Well, I believe people ultimately care about their own immediate family first and then others. This is in itself is selfish. What is even more selfish is someone who cares about himself only, and then his family. We are asked to take care of our family, and I don't believe that God asks us to bend over backwards for just anyone, so there's that. The whole model of capitalism is based on the fact that self-interest is better for society. I don't think we can ever be truly selfless, however when faced with a situation we should ask ourselves if we are being selfish or not.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,574
2,726
113
#7
I can understand how "Main Character syndrome" comes about with just about everyone believing that God loves them special....then there are YouTube stars, TicTok stars, and Facebook/Instagram stars.

It doesn't mean that we need to believe our own press.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,372
1,544
113
#8
As Christians we are suppose to want to be selfless in helping others. But is it even possible? Almost all people operate from selfish disposition, even in doing good, because it makes them feel good.

The Apostle Paul says in the last days, “they will be lovers of self.” But arn’t all people? Most people gravitate towards pleasure and what makes them happy, even if its helping others.

I know our Lord Jesus says,
“You can bear not fruit apart from me, you are the branches, I am the vine.”
So does that mean only Jesus can be selfless through us? Like in Paul saying “it is no longer I who lives but Christ in me,”?

I am coming to terms with if I do anything because I really care or is it ego or because I derive pleasure or coping from the interactions.
mother theresa is an example of being selfless. when someone is engaged in selfless activity assisting others & the time arrives where you need a break but think you can help someone else 1 more time but in fact, take that break, you are not being selfish. we need breaks, even from helping others, whether it's a food break, a nap or just to replenish energy.
 

Seeker47

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2018
1,237
1,049
113
#9
The answer is yes, we can be. Not all the time, but one selfless act at a time.

I was at a neighborhood party a couple of nights ago. There were oodles of kids there. I was conversing with my friend about the kids. Told him that one of the courses I jog I finish up where there is a playground and I do stretches before walking back to the car and driving home. I raised four kids and missed when they were little. I like being around kids but nowadays I feign disinterest and try not to even look at them lest an accompanying adult think I might be a perv. I told my friend I would die to protect any of the kids there without giving it a second thought. My friend said he would too. I know I would because in the past I've put myself in danger by coming to the aid of adults who were being threatened by another. When those scenarios begin to unfold, I don't even think about it, I just act. That would be a moment of selflessness.

If only I could be selfless all the time. But then, even Jesus had to take some time for himself. I reckon that in these mortal bodies we have some limits.
I share your pain on being an older male who loves children. I do the same thing around them and I hate it!!!! I guess every adult male is now a pervert! That's sad but true today.
 

Seeker47

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2018
1,237
1,049
113
#10
One issue I see about this OP. It appears that you associate pleasure and feeling good with sin. That harkens back to the dark-ages practice of self punishment. We need to consider that issue carefully.

God gave us the ability to feel pleasure, feeling good is from God. He also gives us the discernment to know right from wrong. (I personally think 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 explains this best). If we boast or highlight our actions for others to see, we are not selfless. If our joy is between us and God, He feels pleasure too.
 
Dec 16, 2016
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#11
mother theresa is an example of being selfless. when someone is engaged in selfless activity assisting others & the time arrives where you need a break but think you can help someone else 1 more time but in fact, take that break, you are not being selfish. we need breaks, even from helping others, whether it's a food break, a nap or just to replenish energy.
I believe her "church" believes in works for salvation?:unsure:(y):coffee:
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
6,382
4,016
113
Frankston, Victoria
christianlife.au
#12
As Christians we are suppose to want to be selfless in helping others. But is it even possible? Almost all people operate from selfish disposition, even in doing good, because it makes them feel good.

The Apostle Paul says in the last days, “they will be lovers of self.” But arn’t all people? Most people gravitate towards pleasure and what makes them happy, even if its helping others.

I know our Lord Jesus says,
“You can bear not fruit apart from me, you are the branches, I am the vine.”
So does that mean only Jesus can be selfless through us? Like in Paul saying “it is no longer I who lives but Christ in me,”?

I am coming to terms with if I do anything because I really care or is it ego or because I derive pleasure or coping from the interactions.
There is a healthy self love (love your neighbour as you love yourself) and there is selfishness that puts self interest first. Trying to analyse which is which is futile. It's way better to commit your ways to Jesus, accept His Lordship unconditionally and ask Him to Live in your place. Lord Jesus is only too willing to do so.

This is wonderful in theory. Often there are things in our lives that are precious to us but also a trap. I had many things that I had to let go of. It sounds silly, but I was obsessed with table tennis, playing in a competition. It was beginner level but got way too serious. The Lord told me to quit. That was nearly 40 years ago. I've started playing again. We don't keep score, it's just fun.

God is not a spoilsport. He only wants to set us free from the weights and hindrances that hinder our walk. How much easier it is to walk when not carrying a heavy load. Jesus is the Saviour, which also means Deliverer. Let Him do His work. It won't be comfortable, but it will be a great blessing. And one day, you will find life is much easier as you quit trying to be what God has already made you to be.
 
Dec 16, 2016
14,915
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#13
Interesting aboutthe table tennis, keeping score led to competition when He wants us in cooperation one with another?
blessings