Polygamy, polygyny, polyandry, polyamory, I often use polygamy meaning polygyny, but it is an umbrella term that could mean all of them so I will try to say polygyny to be precise.
I think we can agree that only polygyny was practiced in biblical times among God's people.
The common belief is that God tolerated this but did not endorse or recommend it.
I know of one biblical example where God sanctioned Polygyny, but I would not like to reveal that yet.
In the case for Adam, God referred to his singleness as "not good" and made a helper "suitable for him."
Paul says that it is best to be single, that all men should be as he is. which makes tension between the two examples.
But I personally believe that some are called to be married, and some are called to be single.
The common belief, which I disagree with, is that Paul requires church officers (bishops/elders/deacons) to have only "one wife"
So, the question is what do we do with converts who are polygynists?
If you God into the third world or direct a ministry to a cult like the FLDS,
And a man who has three wives comes to christ, what is he to do with his three wives?
Common arguments I hear are:
1. Stay married, but cannot pursue officership.
2. must divorce all but one.
a. divorce we obligation to provide
b. divorce with obligation not to provide
3. Something else entirely that I have not though of?
You said, “I know of one biblical example where God sanctioned polygyny, but I would not like to reveal that yet.”
With respect—if you’re going to make that claim, show your hand. Don’t dangle a mystery. God doesn’t hide His moral standard behind riddles. If you can’t point to a clear, righteous endorsement of polygyny in Scripture, then what you’re calling “sanction” may simply be God’s mercy in the middle of man’s mess, not His approval of it.
Let’s start at the beginning, because that’s what Jesus did.
> “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” —Matthew 19:4–5
That is not vague. That is one man + one woman = one flesh. Not three. Not four. Not interchangeable. Jesus affirmed monogamy as God’s original and enduring design.
And when Paul talks about elders being “the husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:6), he isn’t being culturally restrictive—he’s setting a moral example. The phrase in Greek literally means “a one-woman man.” It’s not about social optics—it’s about reflecting the covenant nature of Christ and His Bride.
> “This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.” —Ephesians 5:32
Christ has one Bride. Not many.
That’s the model. That’s the mystery. That’s the gospel.
Regarding converts with multiple wives:
Yes, this is a real issue in missions. But we must not create new doctrine to accommodate broken situations. We handle them with mercy, wisdom, and truth—not compromise.
1. Keep all wives, but bar from leadership.
This is the most consistent position—not because polygyny is ideal, but because covenant matters. You don’t fix past sin by compounding it with new sin—like divorcing women who have been joined to you, especially when they have children. Let them remain married, provide for them, but do not allow that situation to be modeled as a “norm.”
2. Forcing divorce is dangerous and unbiblical.
God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Even in a polygynous state, covenant carries weight. You don’t fix error with abandonment. That’s not biblical restoration—that’s spiritual pride wearing moral glasses.
3. Church leaders must reflect the ideal, not exceptions.
Leadership requires the pattern of Christ. A man with three wives may be genuinely saved, but his household doesn’t reflect the covenant of Christ and the Church. He can be discipled, used, and loved—but not held up as a shepherd or overseer.
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Bottom line:
Polygyny was recorded in the Bible. It was never prescribed.
It caused pain, rivalry, division, and spiritual fallout—every single time.
Abraham? Hagar became a source of strife and bitterness.
Jacob? Leah and Rachel’s war wounded a generation.
David? His many wives led to a fractured house.
Solomon? His wives led him into idolatry and destroyed his heart.
Not one example ends well. Not one is called righteous because of it.
God may work through polygamous men—but never because of their polygamy.
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This generation needs clarity, not ambiguity. Holiness, not hypotheticals.
The gospel doesn’t adjust to culture. It calls every culture to the unchanging standard of Jesus Christ.
And when the standard is hard, we don’t lower it—we raise our cross and follow Him anyway.
> “Be holy, for I am holy.” —1 Peter 1:16
“Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God…” —Romans 12:1
“He will purify the sons of Levi…” —Malachi 3:3
This is not about legality—it’s about purity. And the Bride must be pure.
So no—we don’t normalize polygyny.
We preach Christ. We counsel with grace.
And we never redefine the standard to fit man’s failure.
—Shane
