Does the church ignore single Christians? Where are we supposed to go?!?

[Karlon]

This is true for me and my wife for sure.

"my wife & i" is proper grammar!!! hahahahaha!!!!!

 

[Snackersmom]

"my wife & i" is proper grammar!!! hahahahaha!!!!!

"My wife and I" is proper capitalization.

 

[Suze]

This is true for me and my wife for sure.

God sees our hearts and knows who is right for us , not just who is right but , when the timing is perfect . Give God the glory for every good thing .

 

[tourist]

God sees our hearts and knows who is right for us , not just who is right but , when the timing is perfect . Give God the glory for every good thing .

Absolutely. I fully concur with your estimate.

 

[tourist]

"my wife & i" is proper grammar!!! hahahahaha!!!!!

Actually, I was pondering my grammar too. The way that you stated it is more eloquent for sure. English was my favorite subject in school. How quickly we (me) forget.

 

[tourist]

"My wife and I" is proper capitalization.

How right you are, Snackers.

 

[JohnDB]

One of the reasons why Singles gain such limited assistance or group activities at churches is their consistency....they don't have any.

They tend to be so flaky and self absorbed it's kinda become their identity as a group.

Which is different from the others.

 

[Edith]

One of the reasons why Singles gain such limited assistance or group activities at churches is their consistency....they don't have any.

They tend to be so flaky and self absorbed it's kinda become their identity as a group.

Which is different from the others.

No No
I think I think ...... but no! that's the perspective the church is using as an excuse not to get them involve.

For the past two years I have not visited family because I am the single in leadership, I get bombarded with many tasks but it took a lot to get pass such speculation.

I struggle to be accepted and to be seen like a normal person. if I preach and talk about marriage as an example. the pastor would say all you want is marriage He saw me as desperate and so he categorized my influence and service as show off in search of husband. so he would not let me lead in anything because I am not only single but also woman. married women can be managed . it went to raising of voices and me threatening to leave. By Grace his wife helped him to see. Guess what today I am his best ally because I am available 24/7. if you stop seeing singles as desperate, shut out and extend a hand you will win available servants who think about God and the church as Priority.

 

[Lynx]

One of the reasons why Singles gain such limited assistance or group activities at churches is their consistency....they don't have any.

They tend to be so flaky and self absorbed it's kinda become their identity as a group.

Which is different from the others.

You're still on this kick? I thought you had learned by now.

 

[JohnDB]

No No
I think I think ...... but no! that's the perspective the church is using as an excuse not to get them involve.

For the past two years I have not visited family because I am the single in leadership, I get bombarded with many tasks but it took a lot to get pass such speculation.

I struggle to be accepted and to be seen like a normal person. if I preach and talk about marriage as an example. the pastor would say all you want is marriage He saw me as desperate and so he categorized my influence and service as show off in search of husband. so he would not let me lead in anything because I am not only single but also woman. married women can be managed . it went to raising of voices and me threatening to leave. By Grace his wife helped him to see. Guess what today I am his best ally because I am available 24/7. if you stop seeing singles as desperate, shut out and extend a hand you will win available servants who think about God and the church as Priority.

Anecdotal evidence does not ring true for the majority...never has before and doesn't now. You may be an isolated incident....but the vast majority of singles in 3 different corners of America have been identical in generalized behaviors.

They are highly inconsistent at showing up prepared for scheduled events that they voiced they wished to have.

That's why most churches do not have much for single adults. It's a question of how to allocate resources. For those consistently there or those who likely won't show.

 

[Lynx]

Anecdotal evidence does not ring true for the majority...never has before and doesn't now. You may be an isolated incident....but the vast majority of singles in 3 different corners of America have been identical in generalized behaviors.

They are highly inconsistent at showing up prepared for scheduled events that they voiced they wished to have.

That's why most churches do not have much for single adults. It's a question of how to allocate resources. For those consistently there or those who likely won't show.

I don't know about your corners, but from west Tennessee it still looks like you are full of it.

Or maybe single people here are different from the single people in your corners.

Maybe you should move here. If people are so flaky where you go, maybe you're going to the wrong places. Come on down, we still got plenty of room.

 

[Edith]

Anecdotal evidence does not ring true for the majority...never has before and doesn't now. You may be an isolated incident....but the vast majority of singles in 3 different corners of America have been identical in generalized behaviors.

They are highly inconsistent at showing up prepared for scheduled events that they voiced they wished to have.

That's why most churches do not have much for single adults. It's a question of how to allocate resources. For those consistently there or those who likely won't show.

But dear our mission is for the unchurched

I don't know about your corners, but from west Tennessee it still looks like you are full of it.

Or maybe single people here are different from the single people in your corners.

Maybe you should move here. If people are so flaky where you go, maybe you're going to the wrong places. Come on down, we still got plenty of room.

My perspective too

 

[Snackersmom]

Actually, I was pondering my grammar too. The way that you stated it is more eloquent for sure. English was my favorite subject in school. How quickly we (me) forget.

Just going by the way I was taught grammar and the proper usage of I/me, your initial statement was not incorrect.

If you want to test your phrasing, just remove the other subject and complete the sentence.

"This was true for me" = "This this was true for me and my wife"

Or....

"I had the same experience" = "My wife and I had the same experience"

 

[seoulsearch]

No No
I think I think ...... but no! that's the perspective the church is using as an excuse not to get them involve.

For the past two years I have not visited family because I am the single in leadership, I get bombarded with many tasks but it took a lot to get pass such speculation.

I struggle to be accepted and to be seen like a normal person. if I preach and talk about marriage as an example. the pastor would say all you want is marriage He saw me as desperate and so he categorized my influence and service as show off in search of husband. so he would not let me lead in anything because I am not only single but also woman. married women can be managed . it went to raising of voices and me threatening to leave. By Grace his wife helped him to see. Guess what today I am his best ally because I am available 24/7. if you stop seeing singles as desperate, shut out and extend a hand you will win available servants who think about God and the church as Priority.

God bless you, Edith, for caring for your fellow singles.

Many of us here are in the same boat and can relate very well to what you're saying, both online and in real life.

I've been trying to work out some ideas in my head (a very scary place!) of how to form a makeshift Singles Group here in the Forums. But I'm still thinking about how all the moving parts would work, with people coming and going, and the threads I'd need to write to try to keep things active. Right now, unfortunately, I just don't think I have the time.

I'm also thinking that it would need to be more of a Friendship Group and probably reside in the Family Forum, since we have so many married friends like Tourist who have been with us forever (he was a Singles Forum member who still occasionally graces us with his presence even after he got married.)

Reading stories like yours @Edith helps to strengthen and edify the rest of us who are also working to uplift the singles community.

Thank you for sharing!

 

[Lynx]

One of the reasons why Singles gain such limited assistance or group activities at churches is their consistency....they don't have any.

They tend to be so flaky and self absorbed it's kinda become their identity as a group.

Which is different from the others.

Speaking of being flaky, that reminds me. You are still flaking out on the reply you promised to cinder many a moon ago. Isn't it about time you got on that?

Seems odd that you would spend so much time with us flaky singles anyway. You're like a racist, except you are biased against singles instead of blacks or mexicans... But you keep hanging around to share your prejudiced opinions about this group that you so look down on.

 

[Edith]

God bless you, Edith, for caring for your fellow singles.

Many of us here are in the same boat and can relate very well to what you're saying, both online and in real life.

I've been trying to work out some ideas in my head (a very scary place!) of how to form a makeshift Singles Group here in the Forums. But I'm still thinking about how all the moving parts would work, with people coming and going, and the threads I'd need to write to try to keep things active. Right now, unfortunately, I just don't think I have the time.

I'm also thinking that it would need to be more of a Friendship Group and probably reside in the Family Forum, since we have so many married friends like Tourist who have been with us forever (he was a Singles Forum member who still occasionally graces us with his presence even after he got married.)

Reading stories like yours @Edith helps to strengthen and edify the rest of us who are also working to uplift the singles community.

Thank you for sharing!

Thank you too Seoulsearch
I am also very encouraged by you and will wait for the makeshift group.
Much love

 

[JohnDB]

But dear our mission is for the unchurched


My perspective too

Of course that is part of the mission....even the object of the exercise.

But churches exist to have programs. Not fleecing the flock or having a weekly stagecraft event (even though that is usually a major program)

A specially designed program to proselytize singles is not in the cards due to single adult flakeyness. Meaning those who wish to create a community will have more luck trying to herd cats. (If they can withstand the singles whining)

Because the second you ask a single adult to do something to help promote a gathering the first thing you ALWAYS hear is a polite "no". If you insist, then comes the more emphatic "You are not the boss of me".
And it doesn't matter how simple, quick or easy the task....this is what you always get back from them. Singles specialize in not gaining any responsibilities or being relied upon by anyone. They want to be free of such encumbrances that they perceive as a restraint upon their freedom. (Which is in truth a slave's ring through their nose....but I'm digressing here....they really don't understand why it is that way and most never will)

Good luck.
Most singles groups I've been a part of were little more than meat markets of flakey women and frustrated men. Even though the guys were usually fairly solid the women were trying to out-flirt the other women with clothing, makeup, and hairstyles....but the second one of the guys paid attention they were instantly scolded and berated into complete submission of such incredulous ideology as to even ponder the idea of asking a woman to meet up for coffee. Especially if the guy was not super wealthy.
The few guys who were successful in meeting a few of the women for coffee were labeled as dogs and hounds only interested in one thing. (Whether they did say anything untowards or not)


So....
This is why most churches do not promote singles. The rumors of them being meat markets will always outshine the reality. Most guys truly don't want the slander in their lives.

 

[Edith]

The

Of course that is part of the mission....even the object of the exercise.

But churches exist to have programs. Not fleecing the flock or having a weekly stagecraft event (even though that is usually a major program)

A specially designed program to proselytize singles is not in the cards due to single adult flakeyness. Meaning those who wish to create a community will have more luck trying to herd cats. (If they can withstand the singles whining)

Because the second you ask a single adult to do something to help promote a gathering the first thing you ALWAYS hear is a polite "no". If you insist, then comes the more emphatic "You are not the boss of me".
And it doesn't matter how simple, quick or easy the task....this is what you always get back from them. Singles specialize in not gaining any responsibilities or being relied upon by anyone. They want to be free of such encumbrances that they perceive as a restraint upon their freedom. (Which is in truth a slave's ring through their nose....but I'm digressing here....they really don't understand why it is that way and most never will)

Good luck.
Most singles groups I've been a part of were little more than meat markets of flakey women and frustrated men. Even though the guys were usually fairly solid the women were trying to out-flirt the other women with clothing, makeup, and hairstyles....but the second one of the guys paid attention they were instantly scolded and berated into complete submission of such incredulous ideology as to even ponder the idea of asking a woman to meet up for coffee. Especially if the guy was not super wealthy.
The few guys who were successful in meeting a few of the women for coffee were labeled as dogs and hounds only interested in one thing. (Whether they did say anything untowards or not)


So....
This is why most churches do not promote singles. The rumors of them being meat markets will always outshine the reality. Most guys truly don't want the slander in their lives.

It is not universal dear I agree with Lynx. This is a problem at your church and I am sorry but I blame your church leadership. There certainly is a loop hole in your discipleship system for the singles to do that.
Churches are divided in to ministries. Men, Women, Youths, Children ministries. They gather to have empower within for outward missions. Thus gathering singles is for same reason to empower them, build them and send them. this where your community falls short.
My humble contribution

 

[Snackersmom]

The


It is not universal dear I agree with Lynx. This is a problem at your church and I am sorry but I blame your church leadership. There certainly is a loop hole in your discipleship system for the singles to do that.
Churches are divided in to ministries. Men, Women, Youths, Children ministries. They gather to have empower within for outward missions. Thus gathering singles is for same reason to empower them, build them and send them. this where your community falls short.
My humble contribution

I agree with you Edith. Discipleship and outreach are major focuses at my church, and I am often tasked with recruiting volunteers for ministry projects. The most reliable volunteers are generally the singles, the older/retired couples, and the married without kids couples.

The young couples with children are great and we love having them, but it's much harder to get them to commit to projects as they already have a lot going on. I have no problem with that, as raising their kids is an important job. But it's very rare for a single person to turn down an opportunity to serve at my church.

 

[Lynx]

Of course that is part of the mission....even the object of the exercise.

But churches exist to have programs. Not fleecing the flock or having a weekly stagecraft event (even though that is usually a major program)

A specially designed program to proselytize singles is not in the cards due to single adult flakeyness. Meaning those who wish to create a community will have more luck trying to herd cats. (If they can withstand the singles whining)

Because the second you ask a single adult to do something to help promote a gathering the first thing you ALWAYS hear is a polite "no". If you insist, then comes the more emphatic "You are not the boss of me".
And it doesn't matter how simple, quick or easy the task....this is what you always get back from them. Singles specialize in not gaining any responsibilities or being relied upon by anyone. They want to be free of such encumbrances that they perceive as a restraint upon their freedom. (Which is in truth a slave's ring through their nose....but I'm digressing here....they really don't understand why it is that way and most never will)

Good luck.
Most singles groups I've been a part of were little more than meat markets of flakey women and frustrated men. Even though the guys were usually fairly solid the women were trying to out-flirt the other women with clothing, makeup, and hairstyles....but the second one of the guys paid attention they were instantly scolded and berated into complete submission of such incredulous ideology as to even ponder the idea of asking a woman to meet up for coffee. Especially if the guy was not super wealthy.
The few guys who were successful in meeting a few of the women for coffee were labeled as dogs and hounds only interested in one thing. (Whether they did say anything untowards or not)


So....
This is why most churches do not promote singles. The rumors of them being meat markets will always outshine the reality. Most guys truly don't want the slander in their lives.

So now singles are whining too...

I have never asked anybody, single or married, to do anything and had them reply with, you are not my boss. Not one time.

This causes me to question how you asked them. If you are getting that kind of response, maybe you need to look at the way you are asking people to do stuff.