I have been having problems with my twin 18 year old grandsons they are different from each other but still there’s problems which I know at their age is normal but they will both be graduating this year from high school and one grandson was following Jesus and was so responsible, always at church, serving and just doing great but once he started having around certain friends he changed to conform how they are, and recently 2 weeks ago got his 1st girlfriend, he says she’s perfect but doesn’t want her to meet us or see her or her family at graduation . She’s in college already and has had other relationships so she’s more experienced than he is. To top it off he doesn’t want his mom or dad to go because he wants to give the tickets to the gf and her parents. He told his twin that he’s embarrassed of us so doesn’t want her to meet any of us because shes white and we are Mexican american. I don’t know how to feel about that. I’m obviously hurt but don’t know what to say. Opinions or advice? I know Jesus wouldn’t like that behavior
Opinions and advice needed!
- Thread starter Brokennlost
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
He's 18 and legally independent, at least where I live. Interfering in adult relationships can be a disaster. I know that from experience. All you can do is pray and ask God for wisdom. Many young people go off the rails, only to return later. You can ask God to protect him as much as possible, but he is no longer a child and God respects man's free will
What I meant was how should I feel about him being embarrassed of us for his gf to meet us because we are Mexican and she is white. That’s not interfering in his relationship that’s trying to understand why he would be embarrassed of his family just because she is a different race than ours and him
There is no other way to feel than deeply hurt. I would sit down and talk to him about it and let him know his opinions are not only hurtful but extremely immature. I would also take any graduation gift I had planned to give him back or donate it. If he didn't want my presence, he wouldn't be getting my presents. Simple as that. Yes, he's an adult, so he needs to be treated like one and needs to see reality. He's acting like a spoiled little child.
That's normal. They usually grow out of it after a while. Hurts like crazy until they do though.
A friend was telling me just yesterday that back when he was a kid his older brother was going to the movies with a girl, and he asked momma to drop him off a little ways out and he would walk the rest of the way. Turns out he didn't want the girl to see his family.
A few minutes later he got back in touch with momma and said, "Momma you forgot to give me my money." His mother replied, "Momma who?" His date had to pay for their movie that night.
Tall_Timbers
Well-known member
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” – Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 11:1
“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” – Proverbs 13:24
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11
“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you delight.” – Proverbs 29:17
“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.” – Proverbs 19:18
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” – Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 11:1
“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” – Proverbs 13:24
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11
“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you delight.” – Proverbs 29:17
“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.” – Proverbs 19:18
Yes I know I’m trying not to take it personal. I still love him and pray for him and his siblings daily
He's 18 so he thinks he knows what he's doing but , we know how we were at that age . Do u remember ? I do
I thought I knew everything . Try not to take his actions to personally , his emotions r all over the place at the moment . Give him space enough to make his own mistakes and b there with lots of love and support when things don't turn out the way he wanted them to and he needs his family . Take a step back but , stay close enough to let him know how much u all love him . If it works out with this girl that will b good for him , if it doesn't he will need u all to b there to pick him up and give him a hug .
OK. Have you asked him why he is embarrassed? I think you need to commit this to the Lord Jesus and let Him work it out. He needs to realise that he is the son of his parents and that's just how it is. I went through a similar stage when I was 15. My family was poor and I was embarrassed. My mother was not happy with me and I was rebuked. Teen age arrogance is normal, unfortunately. Ask God for wisdom as to what to say. Your son needs to realise that if the gf won't accept you, she is not worth his time and attention.
There is no advice
Or opinions
That is going to
Deliver you
Out of
This situation.
Wow, thank you for opening up. That really sounds painful and confusing. I can feel how much you love your grandsons, especially the one who's changed recently. It’s heartbreaking when someone who once walked closely with Jesus starts drifting — especially under the influence of new friends and relationships.
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. It is hurtful to hear that he’s embarrassed of his family, especially when it seems like it’s because of your culture. That kind of thinking doesn’t reflect the heart of Jesus, who teaches us to honor our parents and love our roots.
But I also want to encourage you: this might just be a phase. At 18, a lot of young people are confused, trying to fit in, trying to feel accepted. Sometimes they push away the people who love them the most — not because they truly hate them, but because they’re trying to impress others. Sadly, they don’t realize the damage until later.
If I were in your shoes, I’d pray for him daily, ask God to bring him back to truth, and try to have one calm, honest conversation just to let him know how much this hurts — not in anger, but from the heart. And maybe, for now, let love be the loudest voice, even though the pain is real.
You’re not alone, and Jesus sees your heart. He still loves your grandson too — and the story’s not over.
