The Girl Before And After!
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People become obese for lots of reasons. Number 1 is the recommended diet that the Federal govmint provided for us back many decades ago. Until then, the USA was not an obese nation like it is today. Number 2 is most of us are not very physically active nowadays. A long, long time ago that wasn't the case. Number 3 is genetics, but that is a distant number 3.
Few women who've had children can return to the body they had prior to childbirth. A small number can. I chock that up to genetics. Genetics will often determine what a female's body will be like post childbirth.
If I were to list the things that are really important in this life, a person's thinness or fatness probably wouldn't make the list. I've been fairly thin all of my life. Recently I put on 20 pounds quite quickly due to a medicine I had to take post surgery. I didn't like the extra weight and was unaccustomed to it. I developed what I called a jelly belly and it bugged me when I saw it... I talked to my cardiologist and told her I'd reached my max allowable weight and could she please change the medication I was taking to something that wouldn't cause the crazy weight gain. She listened to me and put me on something else. I've lost 5 of those 20 pounds... it'll probably take a couple of years to lose all of what I gained in three short months. Long story short, I'm not vert tolerant of extra weight on me.
Now my wife has birthed 4 children and she has become quite obese. Her sisters look similar, even the ones who haven't had children. My wife loves sweets... Sweets will add fat to a person's body... I don't judge her or think less of her for where her body has gone, nor do I look down on others I see who are obese. But I don't want those extra pounds on me.
Few women who've had children can return to the body they had prior to childbirth. A small number can. I chock that up to genetics. Genetics will often determine what a female's body will be like post childbirth.
If I were to list the things that are really important in this life, a person's thinness or fatness probably wouldn't make the list. I've been fairly thin all of my life. Recently I put on 20 pounds quite quickly due to a medicine I had to take post surgery. I didn't like the extra weight and was unaccustomed to it. I developed what I called a jelly belly and it bugged me when I saw it... I talked to my cardiologist and told her I'd reached my max allowable weight and could she please change the medication I was taking to something that wouldn't cause the crazy weight gain. She listened to me and put me on something else. I've lost 5 of those 20 pounds... it'll probably take a couple of years to lose all of what I gained in three short months. Long story short, I'm not vert tolerant of extra weight on me.
Now my wife has birthed 4 children and she has become quite obese. Her sisters look similar, even the ones who haven't had children. My wife loves sweets... Sweets will add fat to a person's body... I don't judge her or think less of her for where her body has gone, nor do I look down on others I see who are obese. But I don't want those extra pounds on me.
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Yeah, I have always made it a point to tell my kids that we're working on health, not weight. And I don't nitpick their meal choices outside the home. I want them to learn to make the right choices and continue that ability as adults. My 12 year old is currently dealing with some health issues and, on her own, chose to cut out sugar. She's also discovered a lot of carbs make her feel sick, so she limits those, as well. She's trying to fix the health issue. Losing weight, for her, is just icing on the cake. But to tell a kid or adult that they "don't want to be one of the fat people" and berate food choices is a terrible thing to say.
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We have asked him variations of that question, during some of our trips around this circle. He never answers really.
Seoulsearch in particular has asked him many pointed questions during these repeated discussions on this topic. He keeps evading direct answers for some reason.
I have questioned her apparent repeated beating of her head against this brick wall, as it seems rather fruitless. She always says it's for the benefit of other people who might be reading this thread.
Seoulsearch in particular has asked him many pointed questions during these repeated discussions on this topic. He keeps evading direct answers for some reason.
I have questioned her apparent repeated beating of her head against this brick wall, as it seems rather fruitless. She always says it's for the benefit of other people who might be reading this thread.
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It's especially intriguing in this thread, because he says he wants direct answers from women -- but he doesn't seem to give direct answers in return. Don't worry -- we all have things we talk about repeatedly, and this subject is bound to come around again because it's on permanent rotation in Karlon's Greatest Hits Playlist.
So one of the reasons I draw these conversations out is get some background information for the people who are new to them.
I've also found that many times, a meaningful exchange with someone doesn't produce anything, talking to others in the thread and audience does.
For instance, I was thrilled to read about @Genipher's family, her loving, supportive husband, and other wonderful stories here from people with different experiences.
To me, those are the highlights of the thread that made it well worth the time and participation.
So one of the reasons I draw these conversations out is get some background information for the people who are new to them.
I've also found that many times, a meaningful exchange with someone doesn't produce anything, talking to others in the thread and audience does.
For instance, I was thrilled to read about @Genipher's family, her loving, supportive husband, and other wonderful stories here from people with different experiences.
To me, those are the highlights of the thread that made it well worth the time and participation.
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And women all over the world question why Christian men are so hung up on weight gain, forgetting that they took vows.... 
Huh. And here I thought it had to do with childbirth, health issues, or even depression; because they worry themselves sick that their DH might be one of those who can't (or won't) fight off the lust of the flesh and forget to love their wives as commanded.
Attracted by looks. Yes, the same can be said for women. Yet fewer of us dump a husband because he got fat, bald or wrinkly.
1. large women do get asked on dates and..... SURPRISE! Asked to marry. I know, give yourself a moment to recover from the shock.
2. According to your warped perspective.... if a woman is large when he marries her, then she goes on a diet and drops weight..... is he then un-attracted to her?
Huh. And here I thought it had to do with childbirth, health issues, or even depression; because they worry themselves sick that their DH might be one of those who can't (or won't) fight off the lust of the flesh and forget to love their wives as commanded.
Attracted by looks. Yes, the same can be said for women. Yet fewer of us dump a husband because he got fat, bald or wrinkly.
1. large women do get asked on dates and..... SURPRISE! Asked to marry. I know, give yourself a moment to recover from the shock.
2. According to your warped perspective.... if a woman is large when he marries her, then she goes on a diet and drops weight..... is he then un-attracted to her?
this is a sensitive topic & i don't want anyone thinking anyone here on CC is twisting this to badgering. they truly have become excuses because those are big events in women's lives. i'd be the 1st 1 to realize women's troubles having children. i have 3 sister-in-laws & i saw what they went thru. it's easy for a woman to say, "well, i had 3 kids & that can really do you in". there are women who will admit that's an excuse. so why is it that in certain cities, most of the women look great after having kids. San Diego, Tampa, Manhattan, Saratoga & Los Angeles is loaded with great looking women. don't believe all of them never had kids. i am not badgering women at all. you would think on a Christian site all adults can speak peacefully without disparagement or mockery like my post says.
Do you not realize that cities you are naming -- and women you are referencing -- have much higher incomes than most, and can afford things most other woman cannot?
This can make a huge difference.
What puzzles me is that for as much help as you say you've given to others who are less fortunate, you don't seem to comprehend any of the obvious differences between the people you apparently hang out with and "everyday" people who don't have the level of money and resources you always tell us you have.
A woman who can afford things like in-home daycare, meal prep, gym memberships, tummy tucks, the best salons, and plastic surgery is generally going to look a whole lot better than the average woman who is wrangling kids as a full-time job alone. I used to babysit in a neighborhood of wealthy families, and yes, the women there who could afford a higher level lifestyle were often much more physically attractive than women from more middle-class surroundings. But a lot of that was because they could afford beauty treatments, personal trainers, and luxuries that other women can't.
And in many of the high-society circles, the women are obsessed with looks because they're trying to hold on to their husbands, lest they lose them to a prettier face and younger body -- or are keeping themselves up so that if they DO lose their husband, they can hope to at least catch another man of equal caliber.
You say your posts are to inspire people to be like you and reach for the very best they can be.
If the people in your high society all think like you do and are as blind to class differences as you appear to be in your posts, I am very glad to not be a part of your social class -- nor would I ever want to be.
May you always be held to the same standards you set for others, in an area that is equally as challenging for you as it is for them.
This can make a huge difference.
What puzzles me is that for as much help as you say you've given to others who are less fortunate, you don't seem to comprehend any of the obvious differences between the people you apparently hang out with and "everyday" people who don't have the level of money and resources you always tell us you have.
A woman who can afford things like in-home daycare, meal prep, gym memberships, tummy tucks, the best salons, and plastic surgery is generally going to look a whole lot better than the average woman who is wrangling kids as a full-time job alone. I used to babysit in a neighborhood of wealthy families, and yes, the women there who could afford a higher level lifestyle were often much more physically attractive than women from more middle-class surroundings. But a lot of that was because they could afford beauty treatments, personal trainers, and luxuries that other women can't.
And in many of the high-society circles, the women are obsessed with looks because they're trying to hold on to their husbands, lest they lose them to a prettier face and younger body -- or are keeping themselves up so that if they DO lose their husband, they can hope to at least catch another man of equal caliber.
You say your posts are to inspire people to be like you and reach for the very best they can be.
If the people in your high society all think like you do and are as blind to class differences as you appear to be in your posts, I am very glad to not be a part of your social class -- nor would I ever want to be.
May you always be held to the same standards you set for others, in an area that is equally as challenging for you as it is for them.
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@Karlon on
You do not get to tell me what to do.
Umm, you are the one who posted it, so obviously you have some kind of issue....
What guys? Are they incapable of asking for themselves?
There is no big deal, Karl. Some of us have answered. You just don't like the answer you were given, because it doesn't line up with you lofty opinion.
You do not get to tell me what to do.Umm, you are the one who posted it, so obviously you have some kind of issue....
What guys? Are they incapable of asking for themselves?
There is no big deal, Karl. Some of us have answered. You just don't like the answer you were given, because it doesn't line up with you lofty opinion.
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yes. it doesn't cost anything to exercise but it costs your health if you don't exercise. have you ever heard of this statement: "most people spend the first half of their lives gaining their wealth & the second half spending their wealth to gain their health"? i do understand people's sufferings. i assisted the elderly & handicapped for 37 years, have given to other poor people, i pray for the poor, i always ask anyone in the grocery store if they need help because they can't reach something on the top shelf, always offer to help someone is struggling, i open doors for strangers, l let people borrow money, i stop when someone is broke down, i tow people out of trouble, etc. a drummer friend of mine was 85 & still playing in a band & i would always help pack & load his drums. i've gone to hospitals & prayed for people. you don't need a trainer for exercising. it costs nothing to exercise, do it at home. your "high society" statement: yes, they think like me: TO ENCOURAGE & ASSIST! you are incorrect in that you think i don't understand people's problems you have twisted the topic. your assumptions are incorrect. i assumed i would get responses like what's here. just hold on for the clincher to all this. it's coming Monday. tell everyone else so they can see the posting!
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