What Does "Self-Care" Look Like for Christians?

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

A while back, a Christian friend asked me what I thought "self-care" meant as a Christian. I know this term exploded during The World Event That Shall Not Be Named and was turned into a billion-dollar business.

I enjoy listening to commentaries about social phenomena, and a few I've heard recently were about the fact that "self-care" has become more about using it as an excuse to spend money on overconsumption that is causing people to go broke.

I Googled a list of what's currently considered "self-care" for both men and women, and things came up like: meditation, a good diet, exercise, journaling, talking with a friend, reading, going for a walk in nature, etc.

But the genius of marketing seems to have turned the definition of "self-care" (for women in particular) into things that cost a ton of money: manicures, facials, massages, high end restaurants and lounges, long skincare and bath rituals involving luxury products, shopping for designer items, etc.

For many women, "self-care" has become a catch-all term that tries to justify expensive things as everyday necessities that are "crucial to my well-being" rather than just special treats to be saved up and savored on rare occasions.

Now I'm definitely not trying to criticize anyone who can afford this or really does need some of those things for their own mental or physical health. If I felt I could splurge on regular massages, I would definitely consider it. And I know things like manicures are a part of many women's regular routines.

But where is the line between "I need to take care of myself" vs. "I'm willing to put myself in a much worse financial situation to have these things"?

To be honest, I didn't know how to answer my friend when she asked what Christian self-care looks like.

Sure, there's the necessities of every Christian life -- reading the Bible, praying, going to church, volunteering, participating in Bible studies, etc.

* But what does Christian self-care look like beyond those basics?

* What does "Christian Self-Care" mean to you, your spouse, and your family?

* What things do YOU consider necessary to keep up with and keep doing that are vital to your physical, emotional, and spiritual health?

* And what is YOUR definition of when "self-care" crosses over into, "We can't afford this, so we're going to have to cut this out."

For example -- for parents: do you consider sports and extracurricular activities part of your kid's "self-care" (well-being?)

* How do you decide what to cut back or cut out if it gets too expensive?

 

[Lynx]

Self care seems to be a very subjective topic, with different meanings to different people. The meanings also seem to fluctuate with the current economy.

My grandmother was born in 1932, when the depression was really getting a good stranglehold on the country. Her version of self care, at least for all the years I knew her, was watching her game shows, diagnosis murder, matlock... That was her time that she took for herself.

My version of self-care is where I am sitting right now. I just got out of work and I am at a Chinese buffet. For 12:56, tax and all, I just ate some really good rice noodles, a small mountain of sushi, pork dumplings and assorted other things. This is my little treat for myself, one time when I don't do the cooking or the dishes. I wouldn't completely lose my sanity without this, but it does improve my general frame of mind and give me something to look forward to at the end of the week.

 

[Lynx]

On the other hand, at some point in our country's very short history self-care has meant being able to find a can of beans for your next meal. It's all relative.

 

[RodB651]

But what does Christian self-care look like beyond those basics?

I am fortunate to have good family and friends to hang out with!

For self care...
Quiet time with coffee and books, things that challenge me to be better, exercise, Friday evening at Chick-fil-A, learning to garden, grilling foods, pondering random things, looking at the night time sky, and listening to the quiet when I can.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

Beyond those wonderful basics, continuing to pray throughout the day. Fly tying and fly fishing, daily jogs, daily naps. At this stage in my life I'm mostly just living for the basics and visiting family members when I can. My life is unexciting but it works for me. I've had an exciting life and now I'm watching the sunset. Quietly.

 

[seoulsearch]

Self care seems to be a very subjective topic, with different meanings to different people. The meanings also seem to fluctuate with the current economy.

My grandmother was born in 1932, when the depression was really getting a good stranglehold on the country. Her version of self care, at least for all the years I knew her, was watching her game shows, diagnosis murder, matlock... That was her time that she took for herself.

My version of self-care is where I am sitting right now. I just got out of work and I am at a Chinese buffet. For 12:56, tax and all, I just ate some really good rice noodles, a small mountain of sushi, pork dumplings and assorted other things. This is my little treat for myself, one time when I don't do the cooking or the dishes. I wouldn't completely lose my sanity without this, but it does improve my general frame of mind and give me something to look forward to at the end of the week.

I am fortunate to have good family and friends to hang out with! For self care...
Quiet time with coffee and books, things that challenge me to be better, exercise, Friday evening at Chick-fil-A, learning to garden, grilling foods, pondering random things, looking at the night time sky, and listening to the quiet when I can.

Beyond those wonderful basics, continuing to pray throughout the day. Fly tying and fly fishing, daily jogs, daily naps. At this stage in my life I'm mostly just living for the basics and visiting family members when I can. My life is unexciting but it works for me. I've had an exciting life and now I'm watching the sunset. Quietly.

I love these answers about living a quiet life -- and finding great contentment in this.

It reminds me of:

"...and make it your ambition to lead a quiet life. You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." (1 Thessalonians 4:11,12)

I have to admit though, I have to agree with Rodney (maybe I read this in one of his posts in another thread?!) -- part of me is still looking for a great adventure -- and it just won't give up!!

Well...

I kind of get confused between "Great Adventure" and "Causing Trouble."

I mean, they're practically the same thing, right?!

 

[Tall_Timbers]

I kind of get confused between "Great Adventure" and "Causing Trouble."

Great adventures make great memories. Causing trouble... only if you don't get caught!!!

 

[Suze]

For me , self care means being alone and quiet . Preferably around some beautiful nature , if I can't get out and about , just sitting quietly with my cat , watching him sleep , envious of his worry/ stress free life . Then I start to think about God and the Bible . Maybe read a few chapters . Then I'm all calm and relaxed and content again . It costs me nothing and it works every time 😜 .

 

[CarriePie]

I guess a big part of self care for me is how I start my day: I read scriptures in the morning. Then I feed the birds, then I listen to the birds while I have hot, black coffee and a bowl of oatmeal. The sound of birds brings me joy.

Other things I personally consider self care...
Getting outside is a must for me. I enjoy hiking, but just getting out in the yard where the little critters are is good too. I feel like this is crucial to my well being, being near the Lord's creation.

Spending time with people I care about, whether that be offline or online. I go out to eat with my best friend once a month so that I won't turn into a hermit lol.

I do skin care. I do face exercises and gua sha 6 days a week. I use extra virgin coconut oil on my face, bakuchiol serum around my eyes, and snail mucin on my neck. I do my own pedicures. I like having pretty feet. I'm sort of obsessed with my eyebrows. Honestly, I do not like to be alive with less than ideal eyebrows. It's just one of those things that bothers me.
I don't do manicures because I work with my hands too much. I just keep my hands clean.

I workout. Squats are my favorite, but I do other activity too.

Supplements is where I've shifted things around and made less expensive options. I do take a reasonably priced collagen peptide daily, along with hyaluronic acid and a low dose vitamin C. I keep my eye out for good deals and read reviews for lower cost products.
In the morning I take a NAD+ with nicotinamide riboside and trans-resveratrol. I was about out of these, but a dear friend gave me a gift card and I ordered 4 months worth recently. Oh, and I have to take MSM daily for my joints. Otherwise, I'd out of commission.

 

[seoulsearch]

I guess a big part of self care for me is how I start my day: I read scriptures in the morning. Then I feed the birds, then I listen to the birds while I have hot, black coffee and a bowl of oatmeal. The sound of birds brings me joy.

Other things I personally consider self care...
Getting outside is a must for me. I enjoy hiking, but just getting out in the yard where the little critters are is good too. I feel like this is crucial to my well being, being near the Lord's creation.

Spending time with people I care about, whether that be offline or online. I go out to eat with my best friend once a month so that I won't turn into a hermit lol.

I do skin care. I do face exercises and gua sha 6 days a week. I use extra virgin coconut oil on my face, bakuchiol serum around my eyes, and snail mucin on my neck. I do my own pedicures. I like having pretty feet. I'm sort of obsessed with my eyebrows. Honestly, I do not like to be alive with less than ideal eyebrows. It's just one of those things that bothers me.
I don't do manicures because I work with my hands too much. I just keep my hands clean.

I workout. Squats are my favorite, but I do other activity too.

Supplements is where I've shifted things around and made less expensive options. I do take a reasonably priced collagen peptide daily, along with hyaluronic acid and a low dose vitamin C. I keep my eye out for good deals and read reviews for lower cost products.
In the morning I take a NAD+ with nicotinamide riboside and trans-resveratrol. I was about out of these, but a dear friend gave me a gift card and I ordered 4 months worth recently. Oh, and I have to take MSM daily for my joints. Otherwise, I'd out of commission.

I LOVED this detail about feeding and listening to the birds.

I only have one window that gets good light, and though I'm known to kill most every plant I touch , I feel mentally better when I have at least one "living" plant in my home space (the definition of how "alive" the plant is might vary over time!)

I think it's especially important for us single people to have regular contact with living things -- that thankfully, don't always have to be people!

 

[CarriePie]

I LOVED this detail about feeding and listening to the birds.

I only have one window that gets good light, and though I'm known to kill most every plant I touch , I feel mentally better when I have at least one "living" plant in my home space (the definition of how "alive" the plant is might vary over time!)

I think it's especially important for us single people to have regular contact with living things -- that thankfully, don't always have to be people!

I forgot about plants! I love plants. I also kill plants. I consider myself as having a toxic thumb. I was always bad at outdoor plants. I used to be good at indoor plants, but in the last 10 or so years my toxic thumb has really gotten bad smh lol. Otherwise, I'd be surrounded by plants.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I forgot about plants! I love plants. I also kill plants. I consider myself as having a toxic thumb. I was always bad at outdoor plants. I used to be good at indoor plants, but in the last 10 or so years my toxic thumb has really gotten bad smh lol. Otherwise, I'd be surrounded by plants.

I have a solution. It's easier than house plants. Just keep them outside. There are some that are easy to grow in the wild and not evasive. Look into things that are wild edibles. I used to grow Jerusalem artichoke/ Sunchokes until a neighbor poisoned them.
They were delicacy and great for fall and winter health.

Go with something that is a perennial that thrives in your temp zone. Most nurseries carry your zone hardiness plants. I have to transplant and propagate grape Vines, gooseberries, thornless blackberries and raspberries as soon as the soil drains and dries a little from the rain.

I would get fruit or herbs that you like. I told my friend that I don't do house plants any more and don't want something that I have to bring inside with moldy soil over winter. He's set on giving me one that I can buy for my zone from Lowes, leave it in the ground for now on and just fertilize. His has to be kept in a extra large container babied and the last one died after 3 years. No more indoor plants for me either

 

[CarriePie]

I have a solution. It's easier than house plants. Just keep them outside. There are some that are easy to grow in the wild and not evasive. Look into things that are wild edibles. I used to grow Jerusalem artichoke/ Sunchokes until a neighbor poisoned them.
They were delicacy and great for fall and winter health.

Go with something that is a perennial that thrives in your temp zone. Most nurseries carry your zone hardiness plants. I have to transplant and propagate grape Vines, gooseberries, thornless blackberries and raspberries as soon as the soil drains and dries a little from the rain.

I would get fruit or herbs that you like. I told my friend that I don't do house plants any more and don't want something that I have to bring inside with moldy soil over winter. He's set on giving me one that I can buy for my zone from Lowes, leave it in the ground for now on and just fertilize. His has to be kept in a extra large container babied and the last one died after 3 years. No more indoor plants for me either

I never promised myself a rose garden, and I know it's not fruit or herbs, but I always wanted to grow roses. I had a rose bush at the last location I lived and it grew smashingly. Maybe I should give it a try here.

I admit, I'm a sucker for a bouquet of flowers on the dinner table. I could be growing my own roses for these bouquets.

Of course, if that fails...maybe my toxic thumb is able to grow wildflowers

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I never promised myself a rose garden, and I know it's not fruit or herbs, but I always wanted to grow roses. I had a rose bush at the last location I lived and it grew smashingly. Maybe I should give it a try here.

I admit, I'm a sucker for a bouquet of flowers on the dinner table. I could be growing my own roses for these bouquets.

Of course, if that fails...maybe my toxic thumb is able to grow wildflowers

Here's a website and his YouTube channel that might give you some ideas. It's about wild edibles.
You might have something interesting in your area. Just learn everything you can about identification and toxic look alikes first.
https://www.eattheweeds.com/

www.youtube.com/@EatTheWeeds

 

[CarriePie]

Here's a website and his YouTube channel that might give you some ideas. It's about wild edibles.
You might have something interesting in your area. Just learn everything you can about identification and toxic look alikes first.
https://www.eattheweeds.com/

www.youtube.com/@EatTheWeeds

Smashing, thank you! I already like the name. Eat the weeds!

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I never promised myself a rose garden, and I know it's not fruit or herbs, but I always wanted to grow roses. I had a rose bush at the last location I lived and it grew smashingly. Maybe I should give it a try here.

I admit, I'm a sucker for a bouquet of flowers on the dinner table. I could be growing my own roses for these bouquets.

Of course, if that fails...maybe my toxic thumb is able to grow wildflowers

I kept a patch in the side yard for Mom until I moved out. Most of them were red, but had a variety.
Since I'm a guy, my favorite was the rose water that we made some summers. I'd stuff a lot of fragrant blossoms in a large picture, cover them with water and keep in the refrigerator until it tasted sweet. It was a real delicacy. 😋🍹👩
You can do it too. They.are.easy to grow.

 

[HopeinHim98]

I have a morning facial care routine. I wash, then spray a toner, and apply a serum, a moisturizer, and an eye creme.

I'm VERY particular about the ingredients in my skincare products. For awhile I almost exclusively used a company called Lemongrass Spa's products. But I decided it's too expensive so I'm phasing it out and finding handmade or diy clean products that are more affordable.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I have a morning facial care routine. I wash, then spray a toner, and apply a serum, a moisturizer, and an eye creme.

I'm VERY particular about the ingredients in my skincare products. For awhile I almost exclusively used a company called Lemongrass Spa's products. But I decided it's too expensive so I'm phasing it out and finding handmade or diy clean products that are more affordable.

This evening I refilled my foaming soap dispenser with 100% castle soap (Dr Bronners brand). I added 10-20% to hot water, then a mix of essential oils.
It makes me look 12 years old.

 

[CarriePie]

I kept a patch in the side yard for Mom until I moved out. Most of them were red, but had a variety.
Since I'm a guy, my favorite was the rose water that we made some summers. I'd stuff a lot of fragrant blossoms in a large picture, cover them with water and keep in the refrigerator until it tasted sweet. It was a real delicacy. 😋🍹👩
You can do it too. They.are.easy to grow.

That sounds smashing and refreshing.
You have more confidence in me than I do lol. But, I'd give it a try. I've always liked white roses in particular, but I like all roses.

When I was a little girl, my mother and I would walk by a house not far from here often. An elderly gentleman would come outside as we were walking by. I think he must have always been watching for us from the window. He had rose bushes in his yard. He'd always cut one and give it to me. I think that's why I've always liked roses, as that's a warm memory from my childhood.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

That sounds smashing and refreshing.
You have more confidence in me than I do lol. But, I'd give it a try. I've always liked white roses in particular, but I like all roses.

When I was a little girl, my mother and I would walk by a house not far from here often. An elderly gentleman would come outside as we were walking by. I think he must have always been watching for us from the window. He had rose bushes in his yard. He'd always cut one and give it to me. I think that's why I've always liked roses, as that's a warm memory from my childhood.

That's really sweet!
I would call around and ask all your local nurseries if they have that color. I've even seen some rose plants at grocery stores the last couple years.
They need watered in and kept well watered until they're roots are established. I'm not a flower guy, but I think they need good drainage. Do you have clay soil with a thin layer of top or sandy soil ?