This topic, probably, most would consider, is for the ladies. So, guys all over the world question why women gain weight after they become a girlfriend or wife. We know partly, the reason why. Women become attached & feel like they are secure so contentment abounds. Most men out there have dealt with this issue especially in America. here's the meaty part of it, no pun intended; girls wonder why guys are not attracted to them anymore because they gained weight. Well, all you women know that guys are attracted by looks which God has designed. So, if a women was large when the guy noticed her, he wouldn't have asked her on a date! No mockery or disparagement intended here. Please girls, Christian honest answers only. by course, guys go ahead & answer too.
Why on earth is this topic (weight gain) just for the ladies?
Karlon, I've seen several of your posts in which you've said this many times: "Ladies, if you want to get -- and KEEP -- a man, you have to stay skinny and beautiful -- FOREVER!!!"
You always sound as if you don't know about anything about the fact that women's bodies are greatly affected by things like pregnancy and menopause. How many kids has your body birthed, and have you gone through menopause? And would you be able to keep the package in perfect, preserved condition throughout all of that and 'til the end of time?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you don't have any children? Has your wife been through childbirth and how was her recovery? Not every woman's body is able to snap back, especially after she has multiple children.
You've also mentioned that you are very active and a landscaper. I'm guessing you and your wife have never had weight issues, which is wonderful. But are you aware that weight is not always a matter of just choice for everyone, aren't you?
Now, I've been fairly fortunate in that I have a very health-conscious mother who held us to stricter dietary standards than most, and that's stayed with me all my life. But I was also diagnosed with a hormonal disorder that is becoming very common among women (I'll keep the specifics private,) and the number one symptom is obesity, because the body doesn't process carbohydrates the way it should. I've known women on keto (less than 20 grams of carbs a day), with very restricted calories, and they still have a hard time with their weight.
The symptoms vary greatly and of course, lifestyle and dietary choices can have a lot to do with it. I struggle with food and weight and always have, to the point of going back and forth between symptoms of anorexia and bulimia due to the pressures to stay small. But I've maintained about the same size throughout most of my adult life.
I have 2 pairs of jeans that are a size 6 and are about 12 years old and still fit. But seeing as my Mom is a size 0 and two other women are maybe a size 2 and size 4, I've always been seen as the fat one. However, seeing as the average size woman in America is (according to Google,) 14-16. If the women in my family were "average-sized," I would have been seen as the small one.
BUT, I also have not had children, AND I have not gone through menopause. Women who go through this are facing double whammies, and it's not easy. I'm not making excuses, I'm just saying it's not this easy choice you're making it out to be. In order to meet these pressures, a lot of women have to result to unhealthy measures like self-starvation, self-purging, appetite suppressants, caffeine pills that put you at risk for heart attacks, etc. -- I know, because I've tried it. As a teen, the doctor warned my mom to keep an eye on me because one of his patients my age was in the hospital, hooked up to feeding tubes -- because she was so deathly afraid of gaining weight.
So yes, women can make an effort to be as healthy as what's in their range of control. But it's not just a matter of choosing to be a certain size forever like you seem to make it out to be.
The other thing that puzzles me is that I have NEVER heard you talk about the flipside.
I always hear you repeat that designed men to be attracted to looks and that all my life, I've heard over and over that "men are visual." I've always said, "If men are visual, do they think women are blind?"
Again, I'm guessing you've never had problems with weight, but do you think weight and looks are all one-sided? I've never been pregnant in my life.
But have you seen how many men, and yes, husbands, walk around looking like THEY'RE pregnant? And sometimes, it looks like they're expecting twins. And let me tell you, I don't know many women who find the pregnant male look all that attractive, unless yes, it's their husbands whom they love. I'm sure a few women might like the look (or grow to love it,) but most women I know are not looking for that in a man. There is a reason women swoon over men such as athletic firefighters.
Now I am NOT trying to shame anyone. Weight, size, and fitness levels are HARD for EVERYONE. But what I WILL call out are double standards. I personally don't agree with men demanding model-perfect wives while they themselves look like they're going to go into labor and pop out a child at any given moment. But, that's just me.
And one of the reasons I'm single is because of those kinds of double standards.
No, I don't look like model, but I also don't look like I'm pregnant -- but I've had men who look like they are be interested in me. If men are visual, and they think I'm attractive, do I not have a right to someone I find attractive as well?
And if it was a sweet Christian guy with a good personality and was trying to work toward a healthy lifestyle, I would consider it. But if it was someone who believes in such double standards as you seem to promote, I would not be interested at all.
And what if all women start insisting, "Gentleman, ladies like a man with a full head of hair -- don't ever lose your hair!!" How many men have full control over how much hair they have? This is about what you're asking of some women when it comes to demanding they stay thin and beautiful forever.
I've seen the YouTube videos of men flying to Turkey for hair transplants and all the extremes that are being done to try to meet this standard.
Sadly, many Christians seem to adhere to wanting certain standards in someone even more than the secular world, because after all, we're all told that, "God wants the BEST for you!"
Which men assume means that God wants only the best-looking woman for them (who will always stay that way, never age, never wrinkle, and never get fat while they do all 3.) Women assume it means God wants a man for them who makes 6-figures (and the first number had better be higher than 1!), yet be home by 5 every night and home every weekend -- because surely God wants THE BEST provider for them.
Right?
And so people think they have a God-given right to all these standards -- and then wonder why things are working out for them the way they expect.
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