About men stealing women!
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If you are truly willing to fill the role of a Godly husband, then your "investment" in her will be for her entire life. Especially if you are planning to have children. Your obligation to the lady doesn't DECREASE when you say your vows, it will actually INCREASE.
Becoming responsible for a family is a huge undertaking. Please don't take it lightly.
Also, a woman who wants to date you for a long period of time MIGHT just want to get to know you better before making one of the most important decisions of her life. I'm not saying you need to spend a lot of money on her while you're dating. But if you don't consider spending time with her to be a good enough reason to spend time with her, then ............ WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY HER?!?!?
Becoming responsible for a family is a huge undertaking. Please don't take it lightly.
Also, a woman who wants to date you for a long period of time MIGHT just want to get to know you better before making one of the most important decisions of her life. I'm not saying you need to spend a lot of money on her while you're dating. But if you don't consider spending time with her to be a good enough reason to spend time with her, then ............ WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY HER?!?!?
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First of all, what is "a long period of time" to you? A year? A year is a reasonable time to observe someone in different situations and get to know them before agreeing to get married. I agree Christian men shouldn't be toxic or abusive, etc but how is a potential mate supposed to know YOU aren't one of those weirdos unless you give her time to know you? Cause like it or not, there are so-called Christian men out there that ARE abusive and/or toxic. How are women to know unless they watch and see? The fact that you're so pushy about a woman getting married ASAP is, in my opinion, a red flag. Your attitude about women is something I would tell MY daughters to run from like their hair was on fire.
A woman isn't "yours" until y'all are actually married. Perhaps it's just the way you phrased it but your possessiveness comes across as creepy.
I also find it very disturbing that you equate a woman who wants to court for a while, who may be cautious and leery about jumping into marriage with someone she hardly knows, to someone who will cheat.
We're not living in a culture of arranged marriages anymore. Though I could see how you'd like that since you are very judgmental of women who want to wait and court for "x" amount of time. Almost as if you don't want them to have the chance to get to know you before they're "stuck".
As a woman, a lot of what you're saying is concerning. Lots of red flags.
A woman isn't "yours" until y'all are actually married. Perhaps it's just the way you phrased it but your possessiveness comes across as creepy.
I also find it very disturbing that you equate a woman who wants to court for a while, who may be cautious and leery about jumping into marriage with someone she hardly knows, to someone who will cheat.
We're not living in a culture of arranged marriages anymore. Though I could see how you'd like that since you are very judgmental of women who want to wait and court for "x" amount of time. Almost as if you don't want them to have the chance to get to know you before they're "stuck".
As a woman, a lot of what you're saying is concerning. Lots of red flags.
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First of all, to be so obsessed with the idea that your fiance will leave you to marry someone else, really highlights your insecurity. I don't know what triggered it, but it has made you paranoid and fearful of something that's not really even common.
And even if it did happen what that would mean is she's been cheating on you for a long time. So you're not losing anything because you never truly had it.
But how will you truly know what kind of woman she is if you rush into marriage? Chances are higher you'll end up in a divorce that way, before anyone leaving you at the altar to marry another guy.
And how many problems will she bring along, because you never got to know her? She could smoke, drink, party, etc.... but now you're stuck with this person because of an irrational fear. And that would be an even worse situation than being left. If they leave, it's done, and you can move on. If you marry too quickly you'll be stuck with that decision the rest of your life, even. If it's really bad. Or divorce. Then you get to bring that baggage into your next attempt to marry.
Arranged marriages are cultural. I believe India still use this tradition.
But culturals such as those also don't have much of a tolerance for divorce. It is your role to be happy in your marriage, or at least make it look like you are.
And then you never know who you'll end up with.
Also don't forget many times in arranged marriages the woman is basically sold against her will. The parents set up the marriage with whoever They decide on, with no cares for the girls wants or desires. And her parents have to pay a dowry to the other family as a form of exchange.
Not to mention how easily this makes abuse of wives easier to get away with.
I'd say you have some mixed up views about marriage and woman that you need to sort out before attempting any type of romantic relationship.
And even if it did happen what that would mean is she's been cheating on you for a long time. So you're not losing anything because you never truly had it.
But how will you truly know what kind of woman she is if you rush into marriage? Chances are higher you'll end up in a divorce that way, before anyone leaving you at the altar to marry another guy.
And how many problems will she bring along, because you never got to know her? She could smoke, drink, party, etc.... but now you're stuck with this person because of an irrational fear. And that would be an even worse situation than being left. If they leave, it's done, and you can move on. If you marry too quickly you'll be stuck with that decision the rest of your life, even. If it's really bad. Or divorce. Then you get to bring that baggage into your next attempt to marry.
Arranged marriages are cultural. I believe India still use this tradition.
But culturals such as those also don't have much of a tolerance for divorce. It is your role to be happy in your marriage, or at least make it look like you are.
And then you never know who you'll end up with.
Also don't forget many times in arranged marriages the woman is basically sold against her will. The parents set up the marriage with whoever They decide on, with no cares for the girls wants or desires. And her parents have to pay a dowry to the other family as a form of exchange.
Not to mention how easily this makes abuse of wives easier to get away with.
I'd say you have some mixed up views about marriage and woman that you need to sort out before attempting any type of romantic relationship.
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The reason you all want to keep that tradition, is because your paranoid.
Something that would work better, is no marriage at all. Then, you would be free from any law. With that, it's the same thing, except your missing your contract with the government.
Some of you others, like having the fun of dating more than one person at one time. And you love doing that, without any of the dates knowing about each other.
When your dating someone, there is not supposed be anyone else, anywhere.
Something that would work better, is no marriage at all. Then, you would be free from any law. With that, it's the same thing, except your missing your contract with the government.
Some of you others, like having the fun of dating more than one person at one time. And you love doing that, without any of the dates knowing about each other.
When your dating someone, there is not supposed be anyone else, anywhere.
Under that tradition where the girl is dating all those men, who do you think she is most likely to pick? The rich man.
This is another example of someone stopping people from having women, and keeping them all.
The rich man conceived this tradition, so that him and he's family would have most of them, and the best.
A wicked and evil man gave you that tradition.
Under the tradition, 'You can look, but not touch.' 'They are all mine, I am rich.'
This is another example of someone stopping people from having women, and keeping them all.
The rich man conceived this tradition, so that him and he's family would have most of them, and the best.
A wicked and evil man gave you that tradition.
Under the tradition, 'You can look, but not touch.' 'They are all mine, I am rich.'
Let me show you another example of a rich man taking all the women and leaving nothing for anyone.
According to the doctors, which was written by a doctor, In order to be eligible for a baby, you can have no less than, 50,000 USD per year. Per baby, just 1. More than this adds another 50,000 USD.
What that there does, is cuts off lots and lots of men. Why? Because the doctors get over 1 million per year. And so does lots of he's family members. This makes it so that only they are allowed to make babies. And because there are now so many more women than men who allowed to date, what does he get to have?
50k, GET REAL. Look at dollar general for example. Out of all 12 employees, only one of them makes more than 24k. The manager. And under this law the doctor created, that manger can have no more than 1.
You can spot these types of things, because it cuts men off, they are excluded.
So with that, I want to bring something to you attention. The doctor did that right there, to lots and lots of girls, who brother and sisters, and cousins make less than 24k. They hate you because you made it so their brother or cousin is not allowed to have children.
Look at Donald Trump. He married over 12 different women, and had about 3 or 4 babies with each one.
The church was smart in saying you can only have 1 women. There is more than one thing that can make a man rich, such as being the preacher of a church. Or, the biggest man.
The old world method of giving girls for marriage solved that problem there. There system was probably based off these old problems that we have recreated in our time.
If she ends up with someone abusive, it's easy to fix. Just take her back. And that man will be known for what he did, it will be much harder for him to get another one. You would have to keep on eye on everyone, is someone getting isolated?
According to the doctors, which was written by a doctor, In order to be eligible for a baby, you can have no less than, 50,000 USD per year. Per baby, just 1. More than this adds another 50,000 USD.
What that there does, is cuts off lots and lots of men. Why? Because the doctors get over 1 million per year. And so does lots of he's family members. This makes it so that only they are allowed to make babies. And because there are now so many more women than men who allowed to date, what does he get to have?
50k, GET REAL. Look at dollar general for example. Out of all 12 employees, only one of them makes more than 24k. The manager. And under this law the doctor created, that manger can have no more than 1.
You can spot these types of things, because it cuts men off, they are excluded.
So with that, I want to bring something to you attention. The doctor did that right there, to lots and lots of girls, who brother and sisters, and cousins make less than 24k. They hate you because you made it so their brother or cousin is not allowed to have children.
Look at Donald Trump. He married over 12 different women, and had about 3 or 4 babies with each one.
The church was smart in saying you can only have 1 women. There is more than one thing that can make a man rich, such as being the preacher of a church. Or, the biggest man.
The old world method of giving girls for marriage solved that problem there. There system was probably based off these old problems that we have recreated in our time.
If she ends up with someone abusive, it's easy to fix. Just take her back. And that man will be known for what he did, it will be much harder for him to get another one. You would have to keep on eye on everyone, is someone getting isolated?
Yet another thing that came to me about that rich man's tradition that he put into the church.
That rich man has family members who are girls. To make certain they do not marry a poor man, with some cognitive training, then put the tradition into everyone.
Why did every fall for it, because the girls knew what they were going to get to have, the best looking, the biggest man, the richest. They all refused to do it any other way.
That rich man has family members who are girls. To make certain they do not marry a poor man, with some cognitive training, then put the tradition into everyone.
Why did every fall for it, because the girls knew what they were going to get to have, the best looking, the biggest man, the richest. They all refused to do it any other way.
The world judged correctly. There is no ***** if you are christian. But if your not christian, in the world you get to have *****. They boast and brag, we have all the *****. They refuse to get saved, because they will end up hard without relief. Same for the girls, they can't have what the need if they are christian.
You system is not working for anyone, unless you are rich.
You system is not working for anyone, unless you are rich.
Sounds like it's not a matter of other men stealing them away but your inability to spot a loser before a relationship develops. Get to know them better before you get involved, and be more selective.
If at all possible, it might be good for you to forget about women, learn some self-control, and focus your energy on the Lord.
Best wishes.
If at all possible, it might be good for you to forget about women, learn some self-control, and focus your energy on the Lord.
Best wishes.
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What the word of God says about that one, is let those who can't control themselves marry.
Yet one more thing about the tradition, is while the women are dating all those men for a period of 6-12 months. That rich man has plenty of time to do some shopping around. After he has looked and them all, he walks into the that church and just like that, the biggest breasted, finest figure girl, she will not wait 6 - 12 months, It happens in just couple days.
The Finest and Best are preserved for the rich man under that tradition.
A device that is this crafty, must have been crafted by the devil.
Yet one more thing about the tradition, is while the women are dating all those men for a period of 6-12 months. That rich man has plenty of time to do some shopping around. After he has looked and them all, he walks into the that church and just like that, the biggest breasted, finest figure girl, she will not wait 6 - 12 months, It happens in just couple days.
The Finest and Best are preserved for the rich man under that tradition.
A device that is this crafty, must have been crafted by the devil.
Marrying someone right away isn't a means of evasion or escape. Couples who have Jesus as the cornerstone of their marriage are still confronted with adulterous outsiders who need no invitation to lust after someone's husband or wife.
The fallen nature is covetous. Sin will always want what it doesn't have; what it can't have, what belongs to someone else, what is forbidden. Other men will want a taken woman, and other women will want a taken man.
No getting away from it. Just trust God, and trust those who belong to God. The reckless carousel of pretty girls and burning men has nothing on the household of faith.
The fallen nature is covetous. Sin will always want what it doesn't have; what it can't have, what belongs to someone else, what is forbidden. Other men will want a taken woman, and other women will want a taken man.
No getting away from it. Just trust God, and trust those who belong to God. The reckless carousel of pretty girls and burning men has nothing on the household of faith.
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Meanwhile I am single, been single all my life, and I am fairly content with my life.
If you would stop dwelling so much on what you don't have you would be a lot happier in life.
Those last seven posts you made are basically sour grapes. You can't have it, so you try to convince yourself it's not worth having. You try to convince yourself that those who do have it are fools.
It's still hard on your blood pressure though, and you are going to suffer until you stop dwelling on what you don't have. But all this suffering is what you are doing to yourself, so there's nothing anybody else can do to help you.
Good luck.
If you would stop dwelling so much on what you don't have you would be a lot happier in life.
Those last seven posts you made are basically sour grapes. You can't have it, so you try to convince yourself it's not worth having. You try to convince yourself that those who do have it are fools.
It's still hard on your blood pressure though, and you are going to suffer until you stop dwelling on what you don't have. But all this suffering is what you are doing to yourself, so there's nothing anybody else can do to help you.
Good luck.
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K
There you go. Somebody finally said it. In all of his self-centered belly-aching, which extends way beyond just this one thread, I have not seen him utter a single word about his obligations as a potential husband and father.
Is he ready and willing to sacrificially lay his life down for his wife as Christ laid down his life for the church?
Is he ready and willing to sanctify his wife by washing her with the water of the word as Christ does with the church?
Is he ready and willing to nourish and cherish his wife as his own flesh as Christ does with the church?
Is he ready and willing to train up his children in the way they should go that when they grow old they will not depart from it?
Is he ready and willing to bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
From what I have read in his posts, the only thing that he is ready for, and I quote, is a "big-breasted and finest-figured girl", who, according to him, is "the finest and best." No objectifying of women there, right?
Run from? Buy them high-powered sports cars to flee in, and I will pay for their gas and the fire extinguishers.
I wholeheartedly agree.
@Brasspen
Look.
I take no pleasure in chastising anyone, but you could use a good whooping. I have read enough of your posts on different threads to understand that things have happened to you in the past, and that you are trying to sort those things out now as an adult. I commend you for that, but there simply is no denying that you have a terribly wrong view of women, children, and marriage. With such being the case, you really need to spend some humble and prayerful time before the Lord so that your mind can be renewed in accordance with the word of God in those areas. With your present views of both women and children, there is no way in the world that God would ever send a woman to you. Again, I exact no pleasure whatsoever in saying that, but it simply needs to be said.
Get your eyes off of women and children right now, and prostrate yourself before God while asking him to fashion you into the type of godly man he desires you to be. Again, I am not trying to be insensitive to any other issues that you might need emotional healing from, and I would personally be willing to help you find the same. However, when it comes to women and children, you definitely need some major adjustments in your thinking. God did not create women to be objects of your selfish sexual lusts, and that is what your posts about women reek of. This is why I said in my initial response here that your comments rub me the wrong way.
Is he ready and willing to sacrificially lay his life down for his wife as Christ laid down his life for the church?
Is he ready and willing to sanctify his wife by washing her with the water of the word as Christ does with the church?
Is he ready and willing to nourish and cherish his wife as his own flesh as Christ does with the church?
Is he ready and willing to train up his children in the way they should go that when they grow old they will not depart from it?
Is he ready and willing to bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
From what I have read in his posts, the only thing that he is ready for, and I quote, is a "big-breasted and finest-figured girl", who, according to him, is "the finest and best." No objectifying of women there, right?
Run from? Buy them high-powered sports cars to flee in, and I will pay for their gas and the fire extinguishers.
I wholeheartedly agree.
@Brasspen
Look.
I take no pleasure in chastising anyone, but you could use a good whooping. I have read enough of your posts on different threads to understand that things have happened to you in the past, and that you are trying to sort those things out now as an adult. I commend you for that, but there simply is no denying that you have a terribly wrong view of women, children, and marriage. With such being the case, you really need to spend some humble and prayerful time before the Lord so that your mind can be renewed in accordance with the word of God in those areas. With your present views of both women and children, there is no way in the world that God would ever send a woman to you. Again, I exact no pleasure whatsoever in saying that, but it simply needs to be said.
Get your eyes off of women and children right now, and prostrate yourself before God while asking him to fashion you into the type of godly man he desires you to be. Again, I am not trying to be insensitive to any other issues that you might need emotional healing from, and I would personally be willing to help you find the same. However, when it comes to women and children, you definitely need some major adjustments in your thinking. God did not create women to be objects of your selfish sexual lusts, and that is what your posts about women reek of. This is why I said in my initial response here that your comments rub me the wrong way.
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Lie. What I am trying to do is SAVE EVERYONE IN THE CHURCH. You know for a fact that this tradition, Does not belong. It makes many many many christian men, suffer great pain.
Lie. To me the way she looks is not that important. Your physiological reading of me lied to you.
I do not seek a women for what you said. What I want is a lover, a partner, I want someone I can have a deep relationship.
OK, so you don't what to hear what I am telling you. So now your trying to hurt me, and attack me, and judgement. You are now trying to destroy me anyway you can, one of those ways is by my public image.
Yeah, you know right there don't you, that your tradition is bad. To cope with it, you turned me into a bad person.
Lie. To me the way she looks is not that important. Your physiological reading of me lied to you.
I do not seek a women for what you said. What I want is a lover, a partner, I want someone I can have a deep relationship.
OK, so you don't what to hear what I am telling you. So now your trying to hurt me, and attack me, and judgement. You are now trying to destroy me anyway you can, one of those ways is by my public image.
Yeah, you know right there don't you, that your tradition is bad. To cope with it, you turned me into a bad person.
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That right there would be off topic. I try to stick with topic, unless something important comes to mind.
Kainos I like what you said. What you said there I know is true. 60% of christian marriages have cheating. 50% of those divorce.
Like the rest of your post too.
Lynx, I like your post too. I know what you say is true.
Yes I am dealing with lots of problems right now.
IN NO WAY SHOULD I BE PUNSIHED FOR ANYTHING I SAID.
Your judging out of your own heart. You don't want me to have anyone. GOD WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO ME.
NO, I am going to continue, I am not going to sit and wait while everyone takes them all. I am going to keep fighting, I am not going to lay there doing nothing.
Now your attacking my public image, so that women will turn away from me.
Kainos I like what you said. What you said there I know is true. 60% of christian marriages have cheating. 50% of those divorce.
Like the rest of your post too.
Lynx, I like your post too. I know what you say is true.
Yes I am dealing with lots of problems right now.
IN NO WAY SHOULD I BE PUNSIHED FOR ANYTHING I SAID.
Your judging out of your own heart. You don't want me to have anyone. GOD WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO ME.
NO, I am going to continue, I am not going to sit and wait while everyone takes them all. I am going to keep fighting, I am not going to lay there doing nothing.
Now your attacking my public image, so that women will turn away from me.