I can’t think straight anymore. I have sinned so many times in the last 4-5 months with a recent girlfriend, that I went from being blessed, to the opposite of blessed.
After over ten years of following Christ, I gave all of it away for western romantic
Christianity.
I don’t know why God hasn’t destroyed me yet. I’m definitely due for God’s wrath, God’s judgement upon me.
Psa 51:1
[[To the chief Musician,
A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.]] Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
Psa 51:2
Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
Psa 51:3
For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin
is ever before me.
Hi, ATSTD.
David penned this psalm after he had committed sexual sin with Bathsheba. He knew that God's mercy was the only possible cure, and the same is true with you in your present situation. If you ask God to, then he will wash you thoroughly from your iniquity, and he will cleanse you from your sin, and here is the means by which he will do so.
Psa 51:7
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Why did David ask God to purge him with hyssop?
Because hyssop was the means by which the blood of the Passover lamb was applied.
Exo 12:22
And ye shall take a bunch of hyssop, and dip
it in the blood that
is in the bason, and strike the lintel and the two side posts with the blood that
is in the bason; and none of you shall go out at the door of his house until the morning.
As Christians, we have been called unto obedience
and the sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ.
1Pe 1:2
Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience
and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied.
None of us are perfect, and God has provided a means of cleansing for the times when we mess up. Should you avail yourself of the cleansing blood of Jesus, then this will be the outcome.
Psa 51:8
Make me to hear joy and gladness;
that the bones
which thou hast broken may rejoice.
Psa 51:9
Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
Psa 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Psa 51:11
Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Psa 51:12
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me
with thy free spirit.
Psa 51:13
Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
You need to stop beating yourself up. The only means of forgiveness is the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ, and any other means of attempted forgiveness is a subtle form of pride.
Psa 51:16
For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give
it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
Psa 51:17
The sacrifices of God
are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
The type of sacrifice that God is looking for from you is a broken spirit and a contrite heart, and you have already shown evidence of the same. Now, you need to ask God to wash away your sins by the blood of the sacrificial Lamb of God, and he will do just that.
1Jo 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us
our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
When God cleanses you from all unrighteousness, you are cleansed from ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS.
Will you take God at his word?
I hope that you will. If you ever want to talk, then we can do so either publicly or privately.
You are in my prayers.
