Age Difference
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. Thanks for your kind words. I can honestly say same about you too. And lol... even though I can't speak for the west African men, all I can say is to an extent is that women that grew up with the BEST(fathers) sometimes find it difficult to find a life partner. They are always subconsciously looking for similar traits and honestly I don't know whether that's good or bad and I have over the years got to know that I was subconsciously doing that too. Anyway, the bottom line for me is that I believe in God's timing and He definitely knows what's best for me.
K
keepingthingsreal
Guest
I am happy to hear that you have (I hope that he is still alive) a great father, and I am also happy to hear that you are looking for similar traits in a man. Here in the USA, there not only seems to be a shortage of good (forget about great) fathers, but daughters seem to be much more influenced by social media personalities, Hollywood stars, musicians, and the like, than they are by their own fathers. It is sad, but I have seen it way too many times to ignore it.
Here is my next genuinely-non-flirty question:
Why are you so sweet?
My guess is that it has a lot to do with your faith in God, your great upbringing, and, of course, your own will. Whatever the reason(s), keep it up. This often bitter world could certainly use more sweet people like you.
Okay. It's time for me to go and hide my blushing face.
Uh, can somebody please get me a long straw?
Yeah, I just got a kick out of your post pointing out others as pedophiles when, as you pointed out here, you were graduating when your wife was born.
Sure, I have absolutely no doubt that some people, particularly in entertainment, have those issues, but yes -- the age that you meet the person at in life, and start developing those feelings. makes all the difference.
Well, when we first met it was rather disconcerting to me as well. I tried to dissuade her as much as possible without being rude....I was rather obnoxious.Yeah, I just got a kick out of your post pointing out others as pedophiles when, as you pointed out here, you were graduating when your wife was born.
Sure, I have absolutely no doubt that some people, particularly in entertainment, have those issues, but yes -- the age that you meet the person at in life, and start developing those feelings. makes all the difference.
BUT
She fell in love with my love of scriptures....which I thought would really make her run away. (Nothing says "crazy" like a religious fanatic) And I didn't know I was setting the hook. (So to speak)
We have dedicated our lives to the gospel message and our life together reflects that in everything we do. There is no one in our lives that thinks about us any different from this concept. They see it in all we do. Friends and family all know we have a Christian household. It's not a question or a side note. No conflicting messages of actions vx words.
Umm... unfortunately he is late.( I'm sorry that's all I would say for now and I would leave you to imagine how difficult it was and sometimes is for me to adjust to that. It's been nine years though) But I would admit that GOD has been FAITHFUL!!!
As for the daughters being influenced by social media personalities and Hollywood in general in America is something that I wish wasn't the situation. Every girl should have a good father they look up to and I wish every girl had one like mine or even better.
Lol...and for the 'why are my so sweet?' There was a time in my life I took that as a complement but now it just seems that's people's way of telling me I'm odd...lol. I know you don't mean that though
and yes it has everything to do with my faith in GOD and my upbringing. "If you know better then do better"
I'm in a strange place in life.
When I was young (one of only a handful of adopted Asians in a predominantly white area,) I always got hit on by men old enough to be my father and grandfather.
I married young, but he left, married someone else, and had a family.
When he and I were married, we had a dream -- we wanted to work hard, raise a family while we were young, then hopefully retire early and travel. It took me many years (and a lot of work from God) to pull myself back together after the split, and since I didn't seem to meet anyone to marry, I set my sight on the "hopefully retire early and travel" part even as a single.
Now that I'm steadily trying to approach that goal, I'm honestly not sure where marriage would fit in -- or to whom. I'm attracted to practical knowledge and life experience, but find older men often talk down to me. I'm happy to learn from someone, but it's hard to do so if the person automatically sees you as inferior, without your own skill set to bring to the table.
Oddly, now I often get asked out by younger guys, but then it can feel like, as my friend @Snackersmom has very wisely described, a woman who has all the responsibility (if I had more life experience in certain areas) but none of the authority (because if I got married, he would be the lead.)
One of the major relationship issues in the past was always money. I'm no guru, and I've never had fancy jobs, but my parents taught me from day one to budget and save. In every relationship, I found myself having to help pay the guy's bills because he couldn't manage his money. I don't think I could handle that situation again. I would probably have to marry someone who was good at budgeting and saving on his own.
I've met wonderful guys with amazing personalities and talents. And they deserve to meet a woman who can meet them where they're at and help them on their journey. Older guys have families and often have kids and grandkids they're helping to raise or help send to school and I'm not sure how I could fit in. As for younger guys, I'm past the point of wanting children, and I could never rob a younger guy of the chance for a family.
Instead, I often find myself being a bit of a buddy friend/cheerleader to great guys who go on to meet wonderful women later on. I used to joke with some guys that if we were friends, it must mean God had an amazing woman on the way for them -- and it's not me!
And if that's the role God has for me, I've actually gotten to be ok with it, for the most part.
It's not that I wouldn't reconsider, it's just that I think it would take a very special situation.
When I was young (one of only a handful of adopted Asians in a predominantly white area,) I always got hit on by men old enough to be my father and grandfather.
I married young, but he left, married someone else, and had a family.
When he and I were married, we had a dream -- we wanted to work hard, raise a family while we were young, then hopefully retire early and travel. It took me many years (and a lot of work from God) to pull myself back together after the split, and since I didn't seem to meet anyone to marry, I set my sight on the "hopefully retire early and travel" part even as a single.
Now that I'm steadily trying to approach that goal, I'm honestly not sure where marriage would fit in -- or to whom. I'm attracted to practical knowledge and life experience, but find older men often talk down to me. I'm happy to learn from someone, but it's hard to do so if the person automatically sees you as inferior, without your own skill set to bring to the table.
Oddly, now I often get asked out by younger guys, but then it can feel like, as my friend @Snackersmom has very wisely described, a woman who has all the responsibility (if I had more life experience in certain areas) but none of the authority (because if I got married, he would be the lead.)
One of the major relationship issues in the past was always money. I'm no guru, and I've never had fancy jobs, but my parents taught me from day one to budget and save. In every relationship, I found myself having to help pay the guy's bills because he couldn't manage his money. I don't think I could handle that situation again. I would probably have to marry someone who was good at budgeting and saving on his own.
I've met wonderful guys with amazing personalities and talents. And they deserve to meet a woman who can meet them where they're at and help them on their journey. Older guys have families and often have kids and grandkids they're helping to raise or help send to school and I'm not sure how I could fit in. As for younger guys, I'm past the point of wanting children, and I could never rob a younger guy of the chance for a family.
Instead, I often find myself being a bit of a buddy friend/cheerleader to great guys who go on to meet wonderful women later on. I used to joke with some guys that if we were friends, it must mean God had an amazing woman on the way for them -- and it's not me!
And if that's the role God has for me, I've actually gotten to be ok with it, for the most part.
It's not that I wouldn't reconsider, it's just that I think it would take a very special situation.
K
keepingthingsreal
Guest
I am genuinely sorry to hear of your father's passing. In a very real sense, he lives on in that the values he taught you are presently alive and well in you.Umm... unfortunately he is late.( I'm sorry that's all I would say for now and I would leave you to imagine how difficult it was and sometimes is for me to adjust to that. It's been nine years though) But I would admit that GOD has been FAITHFUL!!!
As for the daughters being influenced by social media personalities and Hollywood in general in America is something that I wish wasn't the situation. Every girl should have a good father they look up to and I wish every girl had one like mine or even better.
Lol...and for the 'why are my so sweet?' There was a time in my life I took that as a complement but now it just seems that's people's way of telling me I'm odd...lol. I know you don't mean that though
As you have already figured out on your own, I was definitely not insinuating that you are odd. You are rare, though. Also, I wasn't even really trying to compliment you. I was just responding to what is plainly being exhibited before my eyes. Hopefully, if the Lord wills, and at the right time, he will open the eyes of some man in your country to see what I have already seen.
I get the whole "If you know better, then do better" thing. At my end, I would just word it as "To whom much is given, much is required."
Anyhow, I am harmless, and I am sorry if any of my comments made anything seem the least bit awkward. Have a blessed day, and I hope that you find good fellowship here on this forum.
Thank you so much!
D
daisyseesthesun
Guest
The bible says we live to 70 or even 80 if we have strength but woman tend to live much longer. It you marry a man 10 years older he will be more mature and more stable then someone younger but you will lose him much sooner. The same age spouse will have many of the same interests but may be less mature leading to other problems.
While woman dating younger men is still seen as cultural unacceptable. They call us cougars. It often doesn't work out unless you have know the person for a long time.
While woman dating younger men is still seen as cultural unacceptable. They call us cougars. It often doesn't work out unless you have know the person for a long time.
D
daisyseesthesun
Guest
Ask the Lord he will tell you if someone your considering is the right spouse for you or not. The above is just things I think about. God knows best.
K
keepingthingsreal
Guest
True, but we need to consider that people used to live a lot longer in the past, and that created opportunities for greater age differences between spouses.
That's because some women nag men to the point of doing this:
\ONLY KIDDING! ONLY KIDDING!
Tall_Timbers
Well-known member
D
daisyseesthesun
Guest
K
keepingthingsreal
Guest
Perhaps, but I was only joking. I need to stop mixing comedy into my posts.
I know that young women seeking much older men are often seen as gold diggers, looking for a father figure, etc.
It's interesting to see the phenomenon go in the other direction in. I've been around older people the majority of my life, and there's a saying that when men reach a certain age, they're looking for a "nurse or a purse -- and ideally, both." This is when widowed women are sought out because they're seen as having an inheritance from their husbands -- and therefore, prime candidates to live off of.
I once worked with an older woman who said she came to believe that her second husband married her mostly because he knew she owned her own house after her first husband died, and assumed she also had a sizeable inheritance.
Although I do think it was at least partially out of of love (since I knew the husband as well,) she did say that she he was disappointed to find after marriage they still had to work.
Part of the motivation for him marrying her was to be able to retire.
Oh no, please don't stop!
Believe me, we need more humor around here.
Now granted, some things get lost in translation, especially in text, but I'd rather see people explaining their posts a bit more (if it's not too much trouble) than holding back who the really are.
My whole life has always been outside the norm, but in a nerdy, boring girl kind of way.
I've sometimes told God that if I do marry, I hope it would also be a bit unconventional -- such as to a younger guy -- because why would I want to break my lifetime string of going against the grain now?
K
keepingthingsreal
Guest
I knew that you would respond that way.Oh no, please don't stop!
Believe me, we need more humor around here.
Now granted, some things get lost in translation, especially in text, but I'd rather see people explaining their posts a bit more (if it's not too much trouble) than holding back who the really are.
I am normally a very sober Christian, but, apparently, that came with a side order of idiocy. See what happens when you don't read the fine print on the menu? I will NEVER go back to that Bed and Breakfast again!
Oh, no. I've done it again.