Why Do You Think God Made It So That Our Hormones Seem So Hyperactive When We're Young, and Not Older or Later On In Life?

[seoulsearch]

I also understand why bearing and raising children would mostly be seen as a young person's game. I was chatting with a long-time friend about how we get to a certain place in life where certain things aren't possible anymore...

I like hearing all kinds of life stories here on the forum, but the ones I enjoy most at this stage are those who found meaning and sometimes even love at a much later age than most would consider "ideal" or even possible. This, of course, opens up a whole new can of worms that is often debated regularly as well -- whether marriage and sex is specifically and only for the purpose of having children and nothing else.

Personally, I like knowing that God blessed marriage as something that might be possible at any age, whether or not they can have children (which I find especially relevant as I've read many articles about many young couples these days struggling with infertility.)

Sadly, one thing is for sure, and we all know it's because of sin and the resulting fallen world -- having kids, even at a young age, does not mean at all that people will provide an intact family unit in which to raise them.

Some statistics I found on Google this morning:

* The age range with the highest divorce rats is 25-39 years old.

* 20-25 - about 60% of marriages end in divorce.

* 25-29 - 15% of marriages end in divorce.

* 30-34 - 14% of marriages end in divorce.

* 35+ - 19% of marriages end in divorce.

* 50+ - the rate of divorce has been increasing, often called "gray divorce."

* 65 and older - the rate of divorce has tripled since 1990.

The article went on to say:

"Younger people are more likely to divorce because they may lack the maturity and communication skills to make a marriage work. However, first-time marriages for people in their 40's - 50's are also at higher risk for divorce because spouses may be used to the single life.

The Baby Boom generation (born between 1946 and 1964) has the highest divorce rate in US history."

In a separate search, it was stated that divorce rate in the Christian community was about the same as the secular one.

 

[Lynx]

I also understand why bearing and raising children would mostly be seen as a young person's game. I was chatting with a long-time friend about how we get to a certain place in life where certain things aren't possible anymore...

I like hearing all kinds of life stories here on the forum, but the ones I enjoy most at this stage are those who found meaning and sometimes even love at a much later age than most would consider "ideal" or even possible. This, of course, opens up a whole new can of worms that is often debated regularly as well -- whether marriage and sex is specifically and only for the purpose of having children and nothing else.

Personally, I like knowing that God blessed marriage as something that might be possible at any age, whether or not they can have children (which I find especially relevant as I've read many articles about many young couples these days struggling with infertility.)

Sadly, one thing is for sure, and we all know it's because of sin and the resulting fallen world -- having kids, even at a young age, does not mean at all that people will provide an intact family unit in which to raise them.

Some statistics I found on Google this morning:

* The age range with the highest divorce rats is 25-39 years old.

* 20-25 - about 60% of marriages end in divorce.

* 25-29 - 15% of marriages end in divorce.

* 30-34 - 14% of marriages end in divorce.

* 35+ - 19% of marriages end in divorce.

* 50+ - the rate of divorce has been increasing, often called "gray divorce."

* 65 and older - the rate of divorce has tripled since 1990.

The article went on to say:

"Younger people are more likely to divorce because they may lack the maturity and communication skills to make a marriage work. However, first-time marriages for people in their 40's - 50's are also at higher risk for divorce because spouses may be used to the single life.

The Baby Boom generation (born between 1946 and 1964) has the highest divorce rate in US history."

In a separate search, it was stated that divorce rate in the Christian community was about the same as the secular one.

I have been trying to avoid this comic so far in this thread, but you pushed me to it...

 

[seoulsearch]

I have been trying to avoid this comic so far in this thread, but you pushed me to it...

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View attachment 270295

There might be some truth to that.

I've read accounts saying that this a big reason why so many older couples are divorcing. With no kids left in the house and a nest egg allowing them freedom to travel, many older people want to escape the routine life they've had for so many decades.

There's a Retirement Wonderland in FL, The Villages, populated by seniors, that was once dubbed "The STD Capital of the USA."

Whether it's true or not has been a subject of hot debate.

One article said that it's mostly a joke and that "most of the residents are much more worried about alligators rather than crabs."

 

[Karlon]

because He knew it would be perfect that way. if someone wants hormone activity at the same level when your young, all you have to do is live properly. i exercise regularly, eat 99% organic food, hardly drink alcohol, have a positive ambitious personality & attitude & i have a very active level of hormones. i haven't been to a doctor since high school & that was sports check ups. live smart! there's lots of self help people still haven't implemented & it's not too difficult. marriage is a guarantee when you allow God to match you with someone.

 

[RodB651]

All I'm saying is that I wonder why God didn't choose to delay some of our struggles to a point in life where we just might be at a place of making more mature decisions.

Its a very good question.

I'm sure I would do a much better job with my kids if I had raised them now as opposed to my younger dad days. I don't understand why its that way but it just is.

But I try to look at it this way, I'm much more prepared now and I will do a much better job as a granddad when that time comes.

 

[RodB651]

I've read accounts saying that this a big reason why so many older couples are divorcing. With no kids left in the house and a nest egg allowing them freedom to travel, many older people want to escape the routine life they've had for so many decades.

Yeah, I've noticed that a few of the married couples I've known would divorce shortly after the youngest kid moved out. It seems like they always marry someone the exact opposite of their previous spouse.

 

[SomeDisciple]

at least not until we're in heaven and can ask God about these things ourselves

Seems like something we could ask about in prayer instead of waiting until that information is no longer useful to us. Better to justify God in our own mind... I'm not going to be the one to tell him that things would be better if he had just done them the way I think he should have.

 

[seoulsearch]

Seems like something we could ask about in prayer instead of waiting until that information is no longer useful to us. Better to justify God in our own mind... I'm not going to be the one to tell him that things would be better if he had just done them the way I think he should have.

I have no doubt things are certain ways either because God wants it that way, or allows it, or both.

Most of these threads are born from thoughts/questions I've asked Him since I was a kid growing up in Lutheran school, where much was taught but it felt like little was explained.

Over the years, I feel like His answers to my own prayers have been either been providing more insight (sometimes through these discussions,) silence or saying I don't need to know because He's God and I'm just to have faith (it's probably beyond my understanding anyway,) or, maybe I'll find out in heaven -- and if not, it's not going to matter anyway.

But I'm sure others have probably had the same questions, so I that's why I like to present them for discussion on the forum.

The threads started here are often the "lite" version of things a small group I'm in talks about on a regular basis.

 

[Magenta]

The Baby Boom generation (born between 1946 and 1964) has the highest divorce rate in US history."

Gosh. The man I married and I were separated for close to thirty years before we divorced, and then he passed away
not too long after that. I shouldn't have been in such a hurry! I could have been a widow instead of a divorcee.

 

[seoulsearch]

Gosh. The man I married and I were separated for close to thirty years before we divorced, and then he passed away not too long after that. I shouldn't have been in such a hurry! I could have been a widow instead of a divorcee.

That's another irony about church culture.

If you're a widow, you get a free pass, as Paul said widows were free to marry another believer (though he also said he felt she would be happier staying single.) - 1 Corinthians 7:9

If you're a divorcee, you're seen as an adulterer, thanks to the passage saying any man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. - Matthew 5:32

Even though the passage makes the exception of an unfaithful spouse, I've met many who believe every divorced woman is ineligible to remarry, for any reason. (But yet think divorced men are allowed to remarry, since they claim the passage only mentions marrying a divorced women as adultery, with no mention of marrying a divorced man.)

I know, I know...

(I personally think each person has to go where God leads them, through prayer and counsel from elders, but that's just me.)

 

[Cameron143]

That's another irony about church culture.

If you're a widow, you get a free pass, as Paul said widows were free to marry another believer (though he also said he felt she would be happier staying single.) - 1 Corinthians 7:9

If you're a divorcee, you're seen as an adulterer, thanks to the passage saying any man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. - Matthew 5:32

Even though the passage makes the exception of an unfaithful spouse, I've met many who believe every divorced woman is ineligible to remarry, for any reason. (But yet think divorced men are allowed to remarry, since they claim the passage only mentions marrying a divorced women as adultery, with no mention of marrying a divorced man.)

I know, I know...

(I personally think each person has to go where God leads them, through prayer and counsel from elders, but that's just me.)

I would argue from 1 Corinthians 7:15 that abandonment removes the bondage of the wedding vow as well.

 

[SomeDisciple]

But I'm sure others have probably had the same questions, so I that's why I like to present them for discussion on the forum.

Of course. I wouldn't discourage discussion; and genuinely do encourage prayer about this subject- and caution; as it is desirable to avoid calling the Lord's wisdom into question. I don't think you did that- but I could see it as an occasion for some to do so- and I would advise against that.

As an afterthought, I'm sure there's at least a handful of folks in the wonderful world of medicine that would love to suppress the human reproductive system and mold mankind to better fit their concept of how the ideal civilization should work. I don't think this is what you were advocating; but I think most Christians fiercely oppose that kind of agenda.

 

[seoulsearch]

Of course. I wouldn't discourage discussion; and genuinely do encourage prayer about this subject- and caution; as it is desirable to avoid calling the Lord's wisdom into question. I don't think you did that- but I could see it as an occasion for some to do so- and I would advise against that.

As an afterthought, I'm sure there's at least a handful of folks in the wonderful world of medicine that would love to suppress the human reproductive system and mold mankind to better fit their concept of how the ideal civilization should work. I don't think this is what you were advocating; but I think most Christians fiercely oppose that kind of agenda.

I understand what you're saying, but I am not at all advocating any kind of humanistic control of biology or reproduction.

God's will is to be followed above all else.

 

[MsMediator]

One of the things that also inspired my thoughts for this thread was a recent Discord discussion about a country that is apparently lowering the "legal age of consent" from 12 -- to a mere 9 years old -- so that men of any age, but especially those of advanced ages, would have the right to legally "marry" children.

Now I've read that in Biblical times, Mary, the mother of Jesus, was likely only around 13 years old herself, and it was considered normal at that time. I've read some accounts saying that Joseph could have been anywhere from in his teens or 20's to up to 90 years old, but no one will truly knows.

However, times have changed, and "marrying" off such a young child is deplorable, at least to me.

So something else I was thinking about was what if God had made it so that neither boys nor girls could biologically reproduce until say, age 19. At least no one could argue that the reason they want to have sex with 12- or 9-year-old child was because they wanted an heir, and I would hope it would cut down on at least some of the socially legalized sexual assault of children. Of course, there will always be people who have perverse desires and it won't stop everyone, but one could at least hope there would at least be less of a platform to make such crimes "legal."

However, that's just me.

I choose to believe that Mary was at least 14 years old. This is based on the fact that Jesus referred to a 12-year old as a little girl ("Talitha cumi"), and 13 years is a bit too close to 12 years old.

I was watching a debate between two people of different religions on Youtube awhile ago, which focused part of the debate on this topic. One person believed a girl becomes woman at the onset of puberty, and the other believed a girl becomes a women at the end of puberty. Puberty can be about a five-year period. I actually think that 18 years old for consent is reasonable and on the safe side for everyone, since a girl may not start puberty as late as 13 years old.

 

[MsMediator]

When I ponder that both males and females normally hit puberty in their early teens (by God's original design?), and when I ponder that many cultures have coming-of-age ceremonies where children pass to an adult status in their early teens, I wonder if the problem is not really with the parents of these teens, and not with the teens themselves. In other words, if, by God's original design, he created males and females with the ability to reproduce in their early teens, then maybe parents are failing to properly prepare their children for adulthood and parenthood which might truly begin in their early teen years.

Of course, when I have expressed such ponderings elsewhere in the past, I have immediately had my head torn off by those who wrongly link my ponderings to some sort of advocation for the sexual abuse of teens, but that is not what I am talking about at all.

One thing to keep in mind is that age of puberty has decreased over time (due to the Fall); we are basically seeing children going through puberty.

Regardless of whether parents prepare their teens for parenthood, most teens especially early teens are not financially able to support a family.

 

[MsMediator]

I have often thought, "Wouldn't it be better if we were able to make decisions about whom we marry under more rational thought, and then have our hormones activate later on down the road, either right after we've been married or several years after we've already built a strong, loving marriage with someone that's based on everything else except just sex?"

While I believe that a person could have made wiser choices if they waited, etc. (they are more likely to know what qualities they value in the other person, figure out their own goals, etc.). at the end of they day no one is perfect and you just have to be content with you decided to marry. An older person is better able to identify bad traits in a person (manipulation, etc.), where a younger person may think these bad traits are a sign of love. While an older person may make better choices, if one meets the right person at a younger age that is a blessing too. I think many of the bad choices are made as a result of puberty, and the couple marries shortly after (late teens, early 20s, etc.) If people did not face puberty until their 30s or 40s, they may make unwise decisions there as well.

 

[enril]

hey so speaking of this, the average time between marriage to childbirth in ohio (mormon land)(right?) is 7 months (or, at least, was)

 

[Lynx]

hey so speaking of this, the average time between marriage to childbirth in ohio (mormon land)(right?) is 7 months (or, at least, was)

That is the meanest joke I have heard since that guy at work started on a rant about anti-Jew jokes.

 

[Karlon]

in the case of divorced people, i believe God will honor a new marital bond in covenant with Him.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

One thing to keep in mind is that age of puberty has decreased over time (due to the Fall); we are basically seeing children going through puberty.

Regardless of whether parents prepare their teens for parenthood, most teens especially early teens are not financially able to support a family.

Before I say anything else, I want to reiterate that my original post was about what I ponder and wonder about. In other words, I am not attempting to be the least bit dogmatic. Instead, I am just sharing some thoughts while admittedly not having all, or possibly any, of the correct answers.

Having said that, thank you for pointing out to me that the age of puberty has been decreasing because I was previously unaware of this. I did perform an online search after you mentioned this, and there does seem to be sufficient data to substantiate your claim. However, that data all seems to attribute the decrease to such factors as nutritional status, adoption, geographical migration, and emotional well-being. Here is one example.

https://www.endocrinology.org/endoc...ty-why-is-it-changing-and-why-does-it-matter/

FACTORS INVOLVED

Nutritional status, adoption, geographical migration and emotional well-being all have an effect on pubertal timing. Nutritional changes clearly have a key role, as shown by the positive correlation between age at puberty onset and childhood body size, particularly in girls. These trends are less apparent in boys.4

The relationship between fat mass and puberty is mediated, at least in part, through the permissive actions of leptin, a key regulator of body mass which is produced from white adipose tissue. However, ghrelin, neuropeptide Y and many other signalling pathways are likely to be important in the nutritional control of pubertal timing.

The effect of possible endocrine-disrupting chemicals (EDCs) on the timing of puberty has also been an ongoing concern.5 Many compounds, including polybrominated biphenyls, bisphenol A, herbicides and phthalates, have been implicated as potential EDCs, responsible for contributing to this observed trend.

Despite the importance of environmental factors, a genetic influence on the timing of puberty is fundamental. Although the timing of pubertal onset varies within and between different populations, it is a highly heritable trait, as shown by the high correlation of the timing of sexual maturation within families and in twin studies. Previous epidemiological studies and genetic approaches estimate that 50–80% of the variation in pubertal onset is under genetic control.6 Despite this strong heritability, little is known about the control mechanisms.

This is what the medical profession attributes the decrease to, but you said that it is due to the Fall, as in the fall of man. Do you have any scriptures which would back your assertion? If you do, then please post them here, and I will certainly consider them.

I would also ask you this:

What do you believe the original age of puberty was based upon God's original design?

From what I have seen in my own research, it seems to have always been somewhere in the early teens, so this causes me to believe that God was originally fine with teens giving birth to children. If not, then why did he give them the ability to do so?

As far as financial stability is concerned, in today's society, I would agree with you that is rarely, if ever, the case among teenagers. However, who said that today's society reflects God's original intent? In other words, it seems to me that teenagers used to be way more involved in family businesses back in the day, like farming, for example, and they may have had much better skills, and much more financial resources at their disposal, than the average teenager today has.

I also consider Jesus' life in my ponderings.

When he was twelve, he was found in the temple maturely discussing the scriptures with the religious leaders or with the doctors of the law. If we trace his development from the time that he was circumcised at eight days old to the time that he appeared in the temple at age twelve, then we read of how the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom (Luke 2:40). In other words, there was a process of spiritual maturation which coincided with his increase in age. In today's world, a world in which many parents drop their children off at a daycare center, only to eventually throw them into a mostly diabolical public school system, such a maturation process rarely takes place. This is why I questioned if the problem of immature teenagers isn't more the fault of parents as opposed to being the fault of the teenagers themselves.

Anyhow, these are just some thoughts, and I am open to considering the thoughts of others as well. However, ultimately, our thoughts need to have some real substance to them, and our primary source of information ought to be the word of God. In his first epistle to the Corinthians, Paul said, When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things (1 Cor. 13:11).

The Bible makes a distinction between a child and a man, so the question is "When, in God's eyes, or according to scripture, does the transition from childhood to manhood occur?" From my own reading and understanding of scripture, it occurs sometime in the early teen years. Now, does this mean that someone who physically attains to this status is mentally, spiritually, or even financially prepared for such a transition? In today's society, I would say that the answer is definitely "no," but, again, today's society does not necessarily reflect God's original design for family life and the preparation for teens to eventually start families of their own. As I have already suggested more than once in my comments, to at least some degree, and I personally believe that it is an extremely high degree, parents have totally dropped the ball in this regard by entrusting the imparting of true wisdom to a secular world system that has none of the same or that only has what the Bible disdains as being the wisdom of this world which is foolishness with God.