Funny And Clever Answers to Being Asked, "Why Are You Still Single?" -- What Are YOURS?

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#1
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,599
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

I admit to cheating a bit on this one -- I actually Googled this topic.

Here are some of my favorite answers on the list of funny answers to being asked, "Why Are You Still Single?"

* I'm too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine.

* Who told you I'm single -- the government, or the police?!

* I'm single because my milkshake doesn't bring all the boys to the yard (bonus points if you can sing it to the tune of the song!)

* I just haven't met the right one yet. Somewhere out there, my soulmate is "Pushing" on a door that says "Pull" right now.

* The Billboard Charts got it wrong -- the hottest single of the year is me! (Does anyone still pay attention to the Billboard Hot 100 music charts anymore?!)


Now, these are just a few reasons I found on the internet. I'm sure many of you out there have dozens more.

For instance:

* I'm single because my cat/dog won't share their side of the bed.

* I'm single because I like pineapple on my pizza.

* I'm single because I spend my Saturday nights answering posts on the CC Singles Forum!

How about all of you? Tell us the funniest reasons why YOU are single!

And our married friends are welcome to tell us funny excuses they used when they were single, or tell us about the ones other singles (perhaps their kids or grandkids) they know use.

If we're going to be single, we might as well have a good laugh along the way! :ROFL:
 
enril

enril

Active member
#2
Aug 18, 2024
470
206
43
15
#2
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

I admit to cheating a bit on this one -- I actually Googled this topic.

Here are some of my favorite answers on the list of funny answers to being asked, "Why Are You Still Single?"

* I'm too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine.

* Who told you I'm single -- the government, or the police?!

* I'm single because my milkshake doesn't bring all the boys to the yard (bonus points if you can sing it to the tune of the song!)

* I just haven't met the right one yet. Somewhere out there, my soulmate is "Pushing" on a door that says "Pull" right now.

* The Billboard Charts got it wrong -- the hottest single of the year is me! (Does anyone still pay attention to the Billboard Hot 100 music charts anymore?!)


Now, these are just a few reasons I found on the internet. I'm sure many of you out there have dozens more.

For instance:

* I'm single because my cat/dog won't share their side of the bed.

* I'm single because I like pineapple on my pizza.

* I'm single because I spend my Saturday nights answering posts on the CC Singles Forum!

How about all of you? Tell us the funniest reasons why YOU are single!

And our married friends are welcome to tell us funny excuses they used when they were single, or tell us about the ones other singles (perhaps their kids or grandkids) they know use.

If we're going to be single, we might as well have a good laugh along the way! :ROFL:
Click to expand...
i'm not quite applicable, but i wanted to point out that google couldhave told me. since they seem to know everything.

if i was applicable, it would be bc i am too afraid of my past being problems.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#4
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
113
#4
I'm single because I spend my weekends working on my chat pop-ups.

If you don't know what that means, congratulations. You're not an old nerd like me. Pop-ups were long strings of text, usually with color coding, that were saved in your chat client script for later recall with a short command. Something like, "Lynx throws confetti all over the room" with the word confetti having each letter a different color. That would take a lot of painstaking effort to type out each time, using a different color code for every letter in the word confetti, but you could type it out one time and save it as a pop-up to be recalled with a short command like "/confet."

So yeah, I'm single because I spend my weekends working on my pop-ups.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
113
#5
I'm about to go out for a spin on my bike. I could say I'm still single because girls can't catch me.
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#7
Sep 17, 2013
5,543
2,722
113
Georgia
#7
Because I ask for bad advice from people on forum boards
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#8
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
113
#8
I'm single because I work at McDonald's. My low-fat, artificially flavored milkshake don't bring nothing to the yard. Even dogs and cats don't want it.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#9
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,599
113
#9
Lynx said:
I'm single because I work at McDonald's. My low-fat, artificially flavored milkshake don't bring nothing to the yard. Even dogs and cats don't want it.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's because your milkshake is like McDonald's ice cream machines -- always on standby, but never assembled. :LOL::geek::cool:
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#10
Jun 30, 2015
25,594
13,857
113
#10
You could always give them the obvious answer: “Because I’m not married.”

Or perhaps, “I haven’t found anyone as amazing as me”… delivered with a hearty smile.

Of course, if your secret crush asks, then the answer is, “Because you haven’t asked me!”
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#11
Mar 8, 2022
1,161
765
113
#11
Because someone needs to take care of the animals.

I usually just say, I haven't found someone.
 
Kireina

Kireina

Well-known member
#12
Aug 26, 2020
1,483
1,405
113
#12
I was laughing at that "older and sour" comment 🤣🤣🤣
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#13
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,599
113
#13
MsMediator said:
Because someone needs to take care of the animals.

I usually just say, I haven't found someone.
Click to expand...
Yes, and when they ask, "How many animals do you have?", just smile and show them a picture something like this :cool::

1729699487295.jpeg
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#14
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,599
113
#14
Looks like a pocket-sized version of this might also come in handy (choose one from each row, and you have an official excuse to get out of the whole conversation!)

1729700805848.png
 
B

Bruce_Leiter

Active member
#15
Feb 17, 2023
427
193
43
#15
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

I admit to cheating a bit on this one -- I actually Googled this topic.

Here are some of my favorite answers on the list of funny answers to being asked, "Why Are You Still Single?"

* I'm too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine.

* Who told you I'm single -- the government, or the police?!

* I'm single because my milkshake doesn't bring all the boys to the yard (bonus points if you can sing it to the tune of the song!)

* I just haven't met the right one yet. Somewhere out there, my soulmate is "Pushing" on a door that says "Pull" right now.

* The Billboard Charts got it wrong -- the hottest single of the year is me! (Does anyone still pay attention to the Billboard Hot 100 music charts anymore?!)


Now, these are just a few reasons I found on the internet. I'm sure many of you out there have dozens more.

For instance:

* I'm single because my cat/dog won't share their side of the bed.

* I'm single because I like pineapple on my pizza.

* I'm single because I spend my Saturday nights answering posts on the CC Singles Forum!

How about all of you? Tell us the funniest reasons why YOU are single!

And our married friends are welcome to tell us funny excuses they used when they were single, or tell us about the ones other singles (perhaps their kids or grandkids) they know use.

If we're going to be single, we might as well have a good laugh along the way! :ROFL:
Click to expand...
It's not funny, but I'm single after 56 years of marriage to my dear wife, who died in 2020, because God has given me his gift of singleness, according to Paul (1 Corinthians 7) and Jesus.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#16
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,599
113
#16
Bruce_Leiter said:
It's not funny, but I'm single after 56 years of marriage to my dear wife, who died in 2020, because God has given me his gift of singleness, according to Paul (1 Corinthians 7) and Jesus.
Click to expand...
I'm so very sorry for your loss. :cry:

I hope you're finding fellowship and fulfillment on this site -- thank you for stopping in and joining us. ❤️🙏
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#18
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
113
#18
Dino246 said:
You could always give them the obvious answer: “Because I’m not married.”

Or perhaps, “I haven’t found anyone as amazing as me”… delivered with a hearty smile.

Of course, if your secret crush asks, then the answer is, “Because you haven’t asked me!”
Click to expand...
What do you mean, why am I single?...

...

...

Oh no. Did she figure out how to get out of the basement again?!
 
daisyseesthesun

daisyseesthesun

Well-known member
#19
Aug 23, 2024
766
432
63
#19
Lynx said:
What do you mean, why am I single?...

...

...

Oh no. Did she figure out how to get out of the basement again?!
Click to expand...
Lynx,
I take it your an Alice Cooper fan? Should I turn you in as Person of interest too?
 
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