The First Date

[2ndTimeIsTheCharm]

As for my adoption -- I have never heard of a North Korean orphan being adopted but I could be wrong. From the little I know, anyone trying to leave North Korea would be immediately shot, but again, I could be wrong.

So I am from the South. The story goes that I was found in a cardboard box at a few days old, then taken to the police, then to an orphanage. People have often said, "Moses was found in a basket, and you were found in a box!" The thing is, as an adult, I've read about other adoptees my age having the exact same story... Which COULD very well be true -- maybe mothers at the time were all dumping unwanted kids the same way -- but, I've also read that in some cases, it was a pretty story social workers at that time were taught to relay to prospective adoptive parents.

So there are no records and I have nothing go to on. To tell you the truth, I no longer want to know, and if they ever wished to find me, they'd have to come looking for me. When I was younger, not knowing anything about my background tore me apart, especially growing up in a small white town where I was regarded as an alien or curiosity, but over many years, God has given me peace (and with the help of many caring people along the way.)

Oh wow, here's something to consider (click the title to read the article):

Western nations were desperate for Korean babies. Now many adoptees believe they were STOLEN​

The article also has a 30-second trailer about a PBS documentary that addresses this whole issue. I was able to find the entire documentary, which I'm posting here:

South Korea's Adoption Reckoning (full documentary) | FRONTLINE +​

I saw the trailer, but I haven't seen the documentary in its entirety, but it's interesting - I will watch it a little later when I can.


🌾

 

[seoulsearch]

Oh wow, here's something to consider (click the title to read the article):

Western nations were desperate for Korean babies. Now many adoptees believe they were STOLEN​

The article also has a 30-second trailer about a PBS documentary that addresses this whole issue. I was able to find the entire documentary, which I'm posting here:

South Korea's Adoption Reckoning (full documentary) | FRONTLINE +​

I saw the trailer, but I haven't seen the documentary in its entirety, but it's interesting - I will watch it a little later when I can.


🌾

Children are a very hot commodity... And they are trafficked in many different ways.

Adoption can be one of them.

I've read about midwives throughout history, who became very wealthy because they told mothers their babies had died -- then turned around and sold them to adoptive parents -- who were told that the birth mother had died, or willfully abandoned her baby.

 

[Lynx]

Children are a very hot commodity... And they are trafficked in many different ways.

Adoption can be one of them.

I've read about midwives throughout history, who became very wealthy because they told mothers their babies had died -- then turned around and sold them to adoptive parents -- who were told that the birth mother had died, or willfully abandoned her baby.

That takes a cold heart, to tell a mother her child has died, to watch her heart just breaking, just so you can sell it.

I know everybody will be equal in heaven, and I know that all sin is sin, but if ever there was an appropriate place to use that phrase about a special level in hell...

 

[seoulsearch]

That takes a cold heart, to tell a mother her child has died, to watch her heart just breaking, just so you can sell it.

I know everybody will be equal in heaven, and I know that all sin is sin, but if ever there was an appropriate place to use that phrase about a special level in hell...

Most especially when they were also the one to assist the birth mother with bringing their baby into the world.

I can't even fathom that level of hardness of heart.

 

[DaughterZion]

As a christian, are you supposed to disclose all your past on the first date. ? I believe if he is God sent we should be patient enough to take one step at a time. My take though..

 

[Lynx]

As a christian, are you supposed to disclose all your past on the first date. ? I believe if he is God sent we should be patient enough to take one step at a time. My take though..

Depends.

Is it a matter of not wanting an information overload, and not wanting to overload the other person with information, all on the first date?

Is it a matter of part of the past that a person doesn't want to reveal, or at least does not want to reveal too soon?

 

[Karlon]

What information should you disclose on the first date? And what should you disclose or discuss by the first three or so dates? Since we are living in modern times, the dates can can either be phone, video, or anywhere where long discussions take place.

What would you tell your spouse later on, once you find out this is the person you would marry? And, what would you prefer not to say or not delve into details (either later on or never)?

Possible topics include:
Children (if you have them or want them)
Income
Other financial matters/debt/investments
Theology
Prior marriages
Childhood trauma
Other trauma
Illness
STDs.
Roles in marriage
Elder care
Retirement
Where to live

a phone date? never heard of it. is it now an official date? it depends on how well 2 people click. it's the girl's "clicking" that sets the pace. likes & dislikes are at the top of the list to discuss. if it's a speed date, all the above should be discussed.