I would like to find someone for a serious relationship but…

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Aug 26, 2024
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#1
I do not think with what is going on… now is the right time…

Then there is the question if you found someone could you sustain the relationship especially in such trying and difficult times and then particularly if it is a long distance one.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
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#2
sustain - yes, but only if both of you have the right kind of attitude toward God and each other and are determined to make it work "no matter what" - which is what [I believe] is required to sustain the relationship.

long distance - "not a chance" - a general friendship may start out that way - but, until it becomes "very close and personal" - spending time together face-to-face in the same locale - it is not likely to reach the point in the relationship where the determination mentioned above can/will really/truly take place.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
9,593
4,163
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mywebsite.us
#3
Once that dermination is made - possibly before - the "trying and difficult times" could actually strengthen and help the relationship.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
9,593
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#4
But, do not fool yourself for even 1 second into believing/thinking that a [truly] "serious" relationship is going to develop until [a certain anount of] face-to-face time spent together actually occurs.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
12,804
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#5
@
Valour-dare, Since you're in SoAfrica, is there any dating sites like Christian Mingle there? I know two couples who met and got married through CM, recently. I know it's cliche, does a local church have Singles Groups or volunteer jobs? I pray the Lord opens doors and gives you faith to believe and meet the perfect one for you🙏✝🔯
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
3,893
3,020
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#6
I do not think with what is going on… now is the right time…

Then there is the question if you found someone could you sustain the relationship especially in such trying and difficult times and then particularly if it is a long distance one.
I was in a 4 year long distance relationship. One of the, if not the, best relationship I've ever had. We had talked about my moving there, and getting married, eventually. We had plans to meet in person, then covid hit and ruined our plans.
By the time all of the restrictions for travel between us were lifted I'd had some health problems preventing me from being able to move. She had ties where she lived that prevented her ability to move.
But during our time we texted all the time and did video chats all the time.
I got to see her good and bad sides, and her mine. I also was able to verify she was who she said she was, and the things she told me about herself and what was going on in her life were all true.
Due to the changes that made it impossible for either of us to move, the official relationship was dissolved, but we are still the closest of friends and the love we shared has not diminished one bit.
She is the first person I turn to when I need someone to help me. And she, in turn, does the same.

If you take your time, finding someone to weather these rough times is possible. Even in an ldr. But it is not promised. So you need to be prepared for either one.
 
Aug 26, 2024
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#7
sustain - yes, but only if both of you have the right kind of attitude toward God and each other and are determined to make it work "no matter what" - which is what [I believe] is required to sustain the relationship.

long distance - "not a chance" - a general friendship may start out that way - but, until it becomes "very close and personal" - spending time together face-to-face in the same locale - it is not likely to reach the point in the relationship where the determination mentioned above can/will really/truly take place.
I agree which is why I said I cannot see it happening. To have a relationship one has to have time and finances neither of which I presently have. (as things unfold that is only going to lessen.)

Perhaps after… after the time of refining then it will be the correct season…

I do not think based on what is unfolding that my present situation a relationship could be sustained…

Nor perhaps would it be fair… it doesn't matter my inner longings one has to take a much bigger picture first and foremost…
 
Aug 26, 2024
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#8
I was in a 4 year long distance relationship. One of the, if not the, best relationship I've ever had. We had talked about my moving there, and getting married, eventually. We had plans to meet in person, then covid hit and ruined our plans.
By the time all of the restrictions for travel between us were lifted I'd had some health problems preventing me from being able to move. She had ties where she lived that prevented her ability to move.
But during our time we texted all the time and did video chats all the time.
I got to see her good and bad sides, and her mine. I also was able to verify she was who she said she was, and the things she told me about herself and what was going on in her life were all true.
Due to the changes that made it impossible for either of us to move, the official relationship was dissolved, but we are still the closest of friends and the love we shared has not diminished one bit.
She is the first person I turn to when I need someone to help me. And she, in turn, does the same.

If you take your time, finding someone to weather these rough times is possible. Even in an ldr. But it is not promised. So you need to be prepared for either one.
Thank you for your honest as is, sharing I will be forthright with what I know, it will be extremely hard to find a woman who also knows what I know and is prepared to weather what is unfolding now…

Yes I can have just a online friendship possibly relationship but the problem comes is I don't know if based on prior experiences of my past whether I will be able to let my guard down internally as how can one expect to flourish when the storms are on the horizon?

It is therefore then better to weather the storm and once the storm has passed then it would be the correct season to flourish…
 
Aug 26, 2024
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#9
But, do not fool yourself for even 1 second into believing/thinking that a [truly] "serious" relationship is going to develop until [a certain anount of] face-to-face time spent together actually occurs.
I do agree with your assessment in that one cannot truly flourish until physical presence is experienced.
 
Aug 26, 2024
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#10
@
Valour-dare, Since you're in SoAfrica, is there any dating sites like Christian Mingle there? I know two couples who met and got married through CM, recently. I know it's cliche, does a local church have Singles Groups or volunteer jobs? I pray the Lord opens doors and gives you faith to believe and meet the perfect one for you🙏✝🔯
Dating sites like Christian Mingle? No I don't think so.

Most dating sites require significant financial investment of which I am not in the position to do so currently.

I am not attending local chuches in the traditional sense. No for me it will have to be His grace and will when it is the right time with the right person.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
26,425
8,787
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#11
I do not think with what is going on… now is the right time…

Then there is the question if you found someone could you sustain the relationship especially in such trying and difficult times and then particularly if it is a long distance one.
Meh... All times are trying and difficult times.

We can look back on life and say these years were good and those years were bad, but in all my time on this earth I have never seen one single time when everybody agreed that these are pretty good times we are living in right now. These are always trying and difficult times. All my life I have always heard people talk about the present time as a very uncertain, worrisome, difficult time to live in.

And if these are considered trying and difficult times, it's a good thing our generation never saw the Great depression.

Short version: people will always talk about the present as a trying and difficult time. Make the best life you can right now, no matter how trying and difficult it seems to be, because this is the only life you get.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
26,425
8,787
113
#12
I do not think with what is going on… now is the right time…

Then there is the question if you found someone could you sustain the relationship especially in such trying and difficult times and then particularly if it is a long distance one.
Also, howdy and welcome to the Forum.
 
Aug 26, 2024
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#13
Meh... All times are trying and difficult times.

We can look back on life and say these years were good and those years were bad, but in all my time on this earth I have never seen one single time when everybody agreed that these are pretty good times we are living in right now. These are always trying and difficult times. All my life I have always heard people talk about the present time as a very uncertain, worrisome, difficult time to live in.

And if these are considered trying and difficult times, it's a good thing our generation never saw the Great depression.

Short version: people will always talk about the present as a trying and difficult time. Make the best life you can right now, no matter how trying and difficult it seems to be, because this is the only life you get.
 
Aug 26, 2024
106
40
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#14
Meh... All times are trying and difficult times.

We can look back on life and say these years were good and those years were bad, but in all my time on this earth I have never seen one single time when everybody agreed that these are pretty good times we are living in right now. These are always trying and difficult times. All my life I have always heard people talk about the present time as a very uncertain, worrisome, difficult time to live in.

And if these are considered trying and difficult times, it's a good thing our generation never saw the Great depression.

Short version: people will always talk about the present as a trying and difficult time. Make the best life you can right now, no matter how trying and difficult it seems to be, because this is the only life you get.
Thank you for your perspective though if you knew what I know. You would understand why I say what I say... Great Depression. I believe what is coming will easily dwarf that.

Hmm let's look at see how relationships fared in 2020 and the lockdowns... I believe many didn't. The pressure of what is coming will be far worse.

Then as I said you have to have financial stability to have a relationship and I don't. Not since 2020 so... just that normal factor without what I am alluding to is enough...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
26,425
8,787
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#15
Thank you for your perspective though if you knew what I know. You would understand why I say what I say... Great Depression. I believe what is coming will easily dwarf that.
That is something else I have heard all my life. We are about to have a financial meltdown that will make the Great depression look like a tiny economic dip.

Of course it may happen next week. But it hasn't happened yet in all my 46 years. But I sure have heard people talk about how it's about to happen, for all my 46 years.
 
Aug 26, 2024
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#17
That is something else I have heard all my life. We are about to have a financial meltdown that will make the Great depression look like a tiny economic dip.

Of course it may happen next week. But it hasn't happened yet in all my 46 years. But I sure have heard people talk about how it's about to happen, for all my 46 years.
I am not just talking about a financial collapse. I am talking about being engulfed from every single angle, beset on all sides...

Yes unfortunately it becomes the cry wolf syndrome. One has to see how did the warnings then and was it for the purpose of making people so sick and tired of hearing about it so that when the time comes they will not believe...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
26,425
8,787
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#18
Yes unfortunately it becomes the cry wolf syndrome. One has to see how did the warnings then and was it for the purpose of making people so sick and tired of hearing about it so that when the time comes they will not believe...
I have heard that one all my life too...
 
Aug 26, 2024
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#19
I have heard that one all my life too...
If I had to show you why I say what I say and that it isn't all talk but can be followed specifically from 2020 in a sequence of events you would understand why I say what I say. I am not asking you or anyone else to believe what I know (given by grace) however it is like seeing a tsunami in the distance and knowing it is going to hit. That is how it is for me.. Do I try live as best I can in spite of knowing this, yes.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
26,425
8,787
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#20
All I know is, if you wait until life is perfect you will never do it. The present is always going to be trying, uncertain times.