As in my life. The fact that I was abused all my childhood by my dad and now I'm trapped with abusive brother for 8 years ruining my adult life. So basically abused my whole life and then I can't attract any normal men with morals it's always someone who is on drugs or looks like they want to do questionable things to me and I can't attract friends anymore either. Back then the old friends only wanted to go to the club and do acohol and I tried making Christian friends but they want nothing to do with me. I also was bullied my whole life every school, church, and now job. I must be cursed and people are probably going to say because I sin or something I'm doing. I had a "Christian" in the past tell me I am cursed from my family generations and so I suffer and then they claimed this is a past life.
Wow we can be some truly wicked beings sometimes. Listen I understand exactly what you mean, not as far as the abuse goes, but the whole lifestyle and seemingly unescapable walls it builds around you, the layers and layers of chains we drag around all while screaming how "free" we are. I truly understand this first hand, and now have been blessed with true freedom from the ONLY way it can be gained. Through our King Jesus!
Now I am sure that sounds like a complete slogan/sales pitch, I understand how and why it does as well, but I am assuming a few things here that are not safe to assume really, so before I go on under false pretenses, can I ask you a few questions? (I'm going to list them, but if you don't want to answer them then just ignore them)
What is your understanding of what being a Christian actually is?
I want to ask this mostly because of my misunderstanding of what this actually is in reality, and how I did go to church for 5 years and thought I was a Christian, and how even sitting in church I was never clearly told exactly what happens when we are born again. It honestly matters that we talk about these things more clearly than just throwing out scripture slogans to the seeker. Just my opinion. Also the Christian that told you that you're under a curse then talked about a past life was kind of wacky. The "generational curse" is in scripture and still holds true. Only now there's some Good News. All of us born of Adam are born under a curse, the curse of being born spiritually dead and disconnected from our Creator. Like in real life, for REAL! This is why Jesus was sent, born of a virgin.
Did you know why this matters?
Because this means that Jesus is not born from the curse of Adam, He was born of the Spirit, so was not born a sinner like every other man and woman to EVER to be born. This is how and why His sinlessness matters so much. We are told that the wages of sin is death, yet our mighty God steps on His creation as a man, born of the Spirit and completely obedient to Gods will in every way. Sinless. Yet we sinful men are wicked to our core and HATE being told we are wrong. So when the Sinless Godman Jesus came to show us how we were created to live righteously we didn't like it, then imprisoned Him, Beat Him, and crucified Him, yet this all pales in comparison to the REAL price paid. On that cross that day, the full force of Gods wrath against sin was poured out on His head. The ONLY man that ever walked the earth without sinning, the only one that ever could have, wasn't made to take it, He laid down His life for the Fathers glory, the only innocent man that ever walked the earth took the full force of the Fathers just wrath, so that wicked fools like me might be reconciled to our Creator as we were meant to be.
I asked a question then the gospel flowed out, but I would still really like to get your understanding of what a Christian is in your own words. Again if you feel like it. If not I pray He continues to draw you closer until your KNOW Him.