Does the Bible ever say to beat kids?

[MaryM]

Personally I never ever hit my children, ever. So they have grown up to be also gentle and loving towards their own kids, my lovely grandchildren.

I couldn't possibly bear to punish a child. I believe in reasoning, talking and civilised ways to correct wayward behaviour. I believe Jesus certainly never sanctioned any cruelty towards anyone, let alone children. He showed only gentleness, warning specifically that anyone who harmed the little ones would pay the price.

Yet so many times I have heard of appalling cruelty towards innocent young people, in the name of the Bible. Spare the rod and spoil the child type of thinking.

 

[Eli1]

Totally agree Mary.
I would never beat up my child despite what this topic says: https://christianchat.com/christian...ls-is-it-time-to-bring-back-the-strap.208671/

My kids are teenagers now and they have formed a respectful character of their own based on the example of my wife and I.

 

[Pemican]

Deu 21:18-21 "If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they chastise him, he will not even listen to them, then his father and mother shall seize him, and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his hometown. "They shall say to the elders of his city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.' "Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from your midst, and all Israel will hear of it and fear.

 

[Gideon300]

Personally I never ever hit my children, ever. So they have grown up to be also gentle and loving towards their own kids, my lovely grandchildren.

I couldn't possibly bear to punish a child. I believe in reasoning, talking and civilised ways to correct wayward behaviour. I believe Jesus certainly never sanctioned any cruelty towards anyone, let alone children. He showed only gentleness, warning specifically that anyone who harmed the little ones would pay the price.

Yet so many times I have heard of appalling cruelty towards innocent young people, in the name of the Bible. Spare the rod and spoil the child type of thinking.

So you know better than God how to raise children? Do you know the difference between punishment and discipline? Jesus showed only gentleness? So He "gently" whipped the money changers defiling the Temple?

My grandchildren have been raised by your philosophy. They are four obnoxious brats. If the world was a kinder and better place because children were not disciplined, you would have a point. It's not. And it's getting worse.

 

[Eli1]

@MaryM , i would also like to add that you will need to factor-in vast cultural differences among people in the world.
For example, homeschooling your child is seen as a good thing by many Christians in US or other parts of the Western world, but where i come from (Albania) is seen as a way to handicap your children.

As always your topics are always interesting and i look forward to seeing more of them.

 

[MsMediator]

Personally I never ever hit my children, ever. So they have grown up to be also gentle and loving towards their own kids, my lovely grandchildren.

I couldn't possibly bear to punish a child. I believe in reasoning, talking and civilised ways to correct wayward behaviour. I believe Jesus certainly never sanctioned any cruelty towards anyone, let alone children. He showed only gentleness, warning specifically that anyone who harmed the little ones would pay the price.

Yet so many times I have heard of appalling cruelty towards innocent young people, in the name of the Bible. Spare the rod and spoil the child type of thinking.

I agree. I would never spank or beat a child. As someone who was spanked as a child, this aspect still causes me to be dissappointed in my parents whenever I think of this topic like now. I know others who faced worse (more harsh spanking, pulling hair/ears, pinching, slapping, etc.) when they were a child including family and I am very positive they have bad feelings about this.

 

[MaryM]

So you know better than God how to raise children? Do you know the difference between punishment and discipline? Jesus showed only gentleness? So He "gently" whipped the money changers defiling the Temple?

My grandchildren have been raised by your philosophy. They are four obnoxious brats. If the world was a kinder and better place because children were not disciplined, you would have a point. It's not. And it's getting worse.

I believe brutality breeds brutality, in a terrible cycle.

 

[Cameron143]

I believe brutality breeds brutality, in a terrible cycle.

Brutality does breed brutality. No one is suggesting that. But Proberbs 22:15 says foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.Reason doesn't work with children to alter behavior. If it did, God would have instructed us to reason with them.
When I determined to spank my children, it was always for an offense that they knew ahead of time was an offense and why it was an offense. They had already been reasoned with. They chose to offend anyway. And they chose to because there was foolishness in their hearts.
After the spanking, I would set them on my lap and affirm my love for them, give them a hug, and pray with them. In their humility, I could spiritually see the work of God transpiring in their hearts. The best we can do is alter behavior. God can actually change them. Obedience to God's word is what He works through.

 

[hornetguy]

God disciplines us.... why would we be against discipline? Reasoning with children that have no concept of reasoning is a fruitless endeavor. Sometimes, you must lovingly "get their attention" .... the key is "lovingly".

 

[Snackersmom]

Hi Miss Mary, it's good to see you! Cameron already quoted Proverbs 22: 15, but I'm going to comment on it as well if that's ok:


15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.


In our modern post-agrarian society, we see that passage and assume it's advocating beating kids because they are foolish. But back when it was written, everyone understood the "rod" to be a shepherding tool used to guide flocks to safety and drive away predators.

As someone who has actually used a rod to shepherd flocks, I can tell you with certainty that no even halfway decent shepherd would use it to beat them. You actually use it as an extension of your arms, and if you see one (or all) of the flock heading in an unsafe direction, you gently wave the staff where you do not want them to go. If a critter is particularly stubborn then you might have to give them a nudge with the rod, maybe even a tap or a firm poke. But using any more force than is necessary to keep them safe is completely counter-productive and could even scatter the rest of the flock. It reminds me of the times God has corrected me, how gentle He was and never any harsher than necessary.

I've never had kids, but I read this passage to mean that parents should not be passive in their kid's lives; actively watch out for them, guide them to greener pastures, drive away those who seek to harm them, encourage them in the right way....and yeah, maybe give them a poke or "spank" if needed. But some never seem to need more than a wave of the staff to keep them from folly....maybe your kids fell into that category, if so then great!

 

[SonJudgment]

The Bible says that if you spare the rod that you don't love your son. Proverbs 13:24. Besides just mindlessly parroting back the Bible, it does make sense if you think about it. Those that refuse to punish their kids for doing wickedness or foolishness don't really love their kids, they just love their own ego, and they think they are wiser than Solomon.

 

[Lynx]

Hmm...

Some breeds of dog are so oblivious that a bop on the nose is the only way to get their attention when they are doing something wrong.

Then there are some breeds that have such a delicate temperament that a bop on the nose would crush their spirit forever. A stern "NO!" is all they ever need to correct bad behavior.

Same thing is true for cats. And kids.

Which kind of dog, or cat, or child, do you have? What is required for correction? The only way to find out is to observe.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I was spanked as a child. I'm not disappointed in my parents or affected by it as an adult. I broke certain rules and I got the consequences. That's discipline.
Now I do think many who spank do it wrong. My parents never spanked me out of anger. My parents would discuss whether or not spanking was necessary, and if so, the one who was most calm did it. They always made sure to be calm. And following the spanking I'd sit on their lap, they'd discuss the situation with me and end it with a hug and telling me they loved me. After that it was dropped. They didn't bring it back up again.
People only doing the spanking and not the rest are not doing it in a healthy manner.
And people doing any other physical punishment are leaning into abuse to one degree or another.
Leaving bruises or any such thing is also over the top.
The real world has consequences for behavior. Spanking helps to teach this. Talking alone does not.

 

[JohnDB]

Corporal punishment is about ceremony and not severity.

Every child is different and a unique individual. Just like their parents are.

For some "I'm disappointed " is severe enough....other children it won't phase whatsoever.

And it's about achieving the desired goal. Not mindlessly following a set of parameters.

Boys need to learn respect. Part of their psyche.

 

[JohnDB]

broke certain rules and I got the consequences. That's discipline.

Then there are those rare opportunities where you know the consequences and do it anyway.
If you can't pay the fine don't do the crime....vx....
It's just the cost of doing business

 

[Lynx]

Corporal punishment is about ceremony and not severity.

Every child is different and a unique individual. Just like their parents are.

For some "I'm disappointed " is severe enough....other children it won't phase whatsoever.

And it's about achieving the desired goal. Not mindlessly following a set of parameters.

Boys need to learn respect. Part of their psyche.

If only he could see my post, he would know I already said all that stuff.

The hidden price of using ignore.

 

[Burn1986]

Personally I never ever hit my children, ever. So they have grown up to be also gentle and loving towards their own kids, my lovely grandchildren.

I couldn't possibly bear to punish a child. I believe in reasoning, talking and civilised ways to correct wayward behaviour. I believe Jesus certainly never sanctioned any cruelty towards anyone, let alone children. He showed only gentleness, warning specifically that anyone who harmed the little ones would pay the price.

Yet so many times I have heard of appalling cruelty towards innocent young people, in the name of the Bible. Spare the rod and spoil the child type of thinking.

Beat your child? C’mon. Was there a question in your mind because you searched the Bible for “beat your child”? I think you just worded it wrong. Or you consider spanking equivalent to beating? I need to go back to “If I drink a beer, will I go to Hell” thread 🙄

 

[JaumeJ]

I believe brutality breeds brutality, in a terrible cycle.

But you were asked if you do discipline your children? This is not beating them. It is written that a man who does not discipline his child hates his child.

 

[Burn1986]

I believe brutality breeds brutality, in a terrible cycle.

“Well-known Member” and you really think the Bible would say beat you kids and use brutality against them? Dear Lord. I need to rethink what a “Well-known Member” might know, or not know about the Bible. I’m amazed at the complete lack of knowledge and the pure despondency of some of these “Well-known Members”.

(Where does this lack of any wisdom, lack of any spiritual acumen, or complete absence of desire to gain Godly understanding come from? Is it the lack of teaching in churches? I’m dumbfounded.)

 

[Gideon300]

I believe brutality breeds brutality, in a terrible cycle.

Discipline is not brutality. Not disciplining your child is a recipe for disaster. Reason with a three year old? Good luck with that.

Don't lecture me about it. Take your complaint to God. He knows the heart of man and He knows what is required to raise children correctly. Read the book of Proverbs and maybe you will see why.

There is an age of reason for a child. It depends on the kid, but somewhere around 10-12 years old. If they are not disciplined before that, forget it.

If a child has no boundaries, he/she will grow up believing that there are no rules that apply to them. Our police forces routinely complain that people do not obey the road rules. Why would they? They've not been expected to do anything unless rewarded all their lives. There is no reward for obeying the road rules. So we have increasingly draconian punishments. It's no help when offenders are so young that they cannot even be charged with an offence.