What to talk about in a group of non-Christian relatives

[AriHarzahav]

When I'm with my Christian friends or people I meet at church, or strangers I meet around town, I have no problem initiating and carrying on conversations with them. But when my relatives get together occasionally, say at someone's house for lunch, I have a hard time entering the conversation, because it usually has to do with far-off travel destinations (which I don't do much), television programs (which I don't watch), or other topics I'm not familiar with or not interested in. I would admit that I tend to think mainly about religious and political topics, things that most people consider too controversial for social conversation over lunch, which is mainly for catching up with relatives you don't see that often, or just having a good time, or even purposely trying to avoid the serious issues that we stew about or bother us on a daily basis.

In general, I tend to do better with one-on-one conversations, because then I have the person's attention. We both need each other to keep the conversation going. The other person can't just immediately turn his attention elsewhere, so I can try out different topics of conversation with a little less risk, and then either drop it or keep going with it depending on how it's received. But in a larger group it feels more disruptive for me to just jump in and drastically change the subject with something controversial. It's even harder since my relatives and I are all Jewish and mostly liberal politically, so if I say anything positive about Jesus or conservative politics it brings up a lot of charged emotional reactions.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me on how I might approach this situation, so that I can find things to say and not feel so excluded, and can actually steer the conversation in a more meaningful and even God-honoring way without generating a negative backlash?

 

[brighthouse98]

Brother AriHarzahav, What does a person love to talk about most?? THEMSELVES!!!! Like you, I had, had that is, relatives who were non-believers, this is what I did! Act interested even though you could care less, lol then ask them what can you tell me about Jesus? I am most interested on your thoughts about this subject. One relative asked why I would bring this up?? I said I was reading the bible and looking into it.

lol (Not a lie more like God's Wisdom in getting them to ponder this subject) The idea brother is to cause them to be comfortable with you about this subject, your words back to them are very important, do not judge! They must feel that you will not judge them either!! My uncle stated he believes in God to which I asked him why?

After they are done, and you know they are comfortable with you about this subject you can then state how the Lord caused you to be the way you are. The idea is not to have them think you are better than they are, but rather a way to cause them to dig deeper into both the Word of God and in themselves and their relationship with our Jesus.

Of course, I prayed before talking with them asking the Lord to give me his wisdom in how I can reach them. This worked for me brother, I hope what I suggest will also help you! (James 1:5) so that through our Jesus you can (Jude 1:23) Blessing brother!!

 

[Deuteronomy]

Hello Ari (@AriHarzahav), prayer for your family's salvation should be the main thing right now, including prayer for opportunities to speak with them, of course, and for the Lord's help with what to say whenever you take the opportunities that He gives you.

I like the fact that you are most comfortable with one-on-one conversations, because talking to your family as a whole may not be the best idea right now.

Here's a book that you may want to consider reading as I believe that it may be very helpful to you, especially with practical help in witnessing to family and friends.

​

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions Paperback – November 26, 2019 by Gregory Koukl (Author), Lee Strobel (Foreword)​

I hope to return a bit later this evening.

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy (David)
p.s. - I'd stay away from political conversations with your family going forward, as much as possible anyway.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

When I'm with my Christian friends or people I meet at church, or strangers I meet around town, I have no problem initiating and carrying on conversations with them. But when my relatives get together occasionally, say at someone's house for lunch, I have a hard time entering the conversation, because it usually has to do with far-off travel destinations (which I don't do much), television programs (which I don't watch), or other topics I'm not familiar with or not interested in. I would admit that I tend to think mainly about religious and political topics, things that most people consider too controversial for social conversation over lunch, which is mainly for catching up with relatives you don't see that often, or just having a good time, or even purposely trying to avoid the serious issues that we stew about or bother us on a daily basis.

In general, I tend to do better with one-on-one conversations, because then I have the person's attention. We both need each other to keep the conversation going. The other person can't just immediately turn his attention elsewhere, so I can try out different topics of conversation with a little less risk, and then either drop it or keep going with it depending on how it's received. But in a larger group it feels more disruptive for me to just jump in and drastically change the subject with something controversial. It's even harder since my relatives and I are all Jewish and mostly liberal politically, so if I say anything positive about Jesus or conservative politics it brings up a lot of charged emotional reactions.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me on how I might approach this situation, so that I can find things to say and not feel so excluded, and can actually steer the conversation in a more meaningful and even God-honoring way without generating a negative backlash?

What do they talk about that you can learn from? If it's a vacation spot, that can lead to many Questions.

I would love to go their some day . Thank you for sharing that experience. It feels like I've already had a visit there already from your description, is something you might say if you sincerely can. Or any other honest response is good.

Then you can follow up with, do you know the place I want to go most of all?
Then lead into a gospel presentation. It gets easier, the more you do this with strangers. I wish I witnessed to older relatives more. They are gone now so I have regrets about not leading them all to Christ.
If you are interested, I'll find a good gospel presentation that might help .

 

[maxwel]

If you don't want to talk about religion, talk about something non-controversial...
like politics.

 

[Iconoclast]

Speak about the scriptures as the words of life.
Speak about how we are to be about scripture in our regular conversation.
When they object ask them if they would rather receive instruction from those sodomites doing a reading during drag queen story hour?

 

[Eli1]

I will also recommend talking about something non-controversial, like politics.
That's how you break the ice.

 

[blueluna5]

When I'm with my Christian friends or people I meet at church, or strangers I meet around town, I have no problem initiating and carrying on conversations with them. But when my relatives get together occasionally, say at someone's house for lunch, I have a hard time entering the conversation, because it usually has to do with far-off travel destinations (which I don't do much), television programs (which I don't watch), or other topics I'm not familiar with or not interested in. I would admit that I tend to think mainly about religious and political topics, things that most people consider too controversial for social conversation over lunch, which is mainly for catching up with relatives you don't see that often, or just having a good time, or even purposely trying to avoid the serious issues that we stew about or bother us on a daily basis.

In general, I tend to do better with one-on-one conversations, because then I have the person's attention. We both need each other to keep the conversation going. The other person can't just immediately turn his attention elsewhere, so I can try out different topics of conversation with a little less risk, and then either drop it or keep going with it depending on how it's received. But in a larger group it feels more disruptive for me to just jump in and drastically change the subject with something controversial. It's even harder since my relatives and I are all Jewish and mostly liberal politically, so if I say anything positive about Jesus or conservative politics it brings up a lot of charged emotional reactions.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me on how I might approach this situation, so that I can find things to say and not feel so excluded, and can actually steer the conversation in a more meaningful and even God-honoring way without generating a negative backlash?

Yes, talk about hobbies and interests, work if it's interesting, struggles and good things happening, pets, maybe your vacations, books, technology. There's a ton to talk about nowadays.

Just because it's not interesting to you, doesn't mean it's not there. I like talking about religion too, but you can sneak in religious aspects without actually talking specifically about Jesus. I do it all the time as a teacher, since I'm not allowed to teach it specifically. I also don't enjoy tiktok but listen when kids talk about it and learn their strengths and struggles that way. And I can help them listening carefully.

 

[Nehemiah6]

Does anyone have any suggestions for me on how I might approach this situation, so that I can find things to say and not feel so excluded, and can actually steer the conversation in a more meaningful and even God-honoring way without generating a negative backlash?

You have brought up a serious issue, and the answer is not easy. What you could do is remain silent most of the time, and if necessary talk about food, and what the relatives enjoy, and if they have any recipes to share. Food is more or less neutral, but you do not need to feel compelled to say anything. People generally like listeners, so just be a good listener.

 

[oldman]

First thing that came to mind was to talk about the tabernacle of David from the OT and that GOD said HE would rebuild it in the last days. Some study on your part might be needed though.

 

[JohnDB]

When I'm with my Christian friends or people I meet at church, or strangers I meet around town, I have no problem initiating and carrying on conversations with them. But when my relatives get together occasionally, say at someone's house for lunch, I have a hard time entering the conversation, because it usually has to do with far-off travel destinations (which I don't do much), television programs (which I don't watch), or other topics I'm not familiar with or not interested in. I would admit that I tend to think mainly about religious and political topics, things that most people consider too controversial for social conversation over lunch, which is mainly for catching up with relatives you don't see that often, or just having a good time, or even purposely trying to avoid the serious issues that we stew about or bother us on a daily basis.

In general, I tend to do better with one-on-one conversations, because then I have the person's attention. We both need each other to keep the conversation going. The other person can't just immediately turn his attention elsewhere, so I can try out different topics of conversation with a little less risk, and then either drop it or keep going with it depending on how it's received. But in a larger group it feels more disruptive for me to just jump in and drastically change the subject with something controversial. It's even harder since my relatives and I are all Jewish and mostly liberal politically, so if I say anything positive about Jesus or conservative politics it brings up a lot of charged emotional reactions.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me on how I might approach this situation, so that I can find things to say and not feel so excluded, and can actually steer the conversation in a more meaningful and even God-honoring way without generating a negative backlash?

Anything and everything....

From lawnmowers to gardening...fishing possibly. Any hobby that you might engage in. From cooking to sewing or knitting.
Asking questions about their hobbies. Leathercraft, glassblowing or stained glass or mosaics. Whatever they do so that you can understand their hobbies and how they enjoy it.