How To Even Meet Someone?
- Thread starter SadBunny
- Start date
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@melita916 met her future mother-in-law on this site. She introduced her son to her. They dated for a time, fell in love, and soon married. She now has a husband who she loves and a toddler to adore. Seems classic to me. Quite a story and it started on this site.
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Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl have a simple misunderstanding that could easily be solved in two sentences, maximum, but they don't talk to each other because their feelings get hurt. Boy and girl both get lonely and realize they need each other. Boy and girl explain the misunderstanding to each other, feel really embarrassed that they let something so trivial come between them and live happily ever after.
Or... That's how Grandma's Hallmark Channel movies show a classic love story. Over and over and over and over and over and...
Or... That's how Grandma's Hallmark Channel movies show a classic love story. Over and over and over and over and over and...
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But... But... But THIS time the webbing actually comes from Spider Man's wrists, not from a contraption! And THIS time Professor X gets killed! How could you not like this rewrite? It's much better than the last four.
Comedian quote:
"I have a new FF theory. I believe your intelligence is inversely proportionate to how many Fast and Furious movies you have watched. If you watched one or zero, Mensa needs you to call them. If you watched all of them, how do you have enough neurons to keep your respiratory and circulatory systems functional?"
Comedian quote:
"I have a new FF theory. I believe your intelligence is inversely proportionate to how many Fast and Furious movies you have watched. If you watched one or zero, Mensa needs you to call them. If you watched all of them, how do you have enough neurons to keep your respiratory and circulatory systems functional?"
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Oaky so, first off, I'm noticing some replies to this thread that are designed to scare you to death, and that's tragic. With that said, when a guy approaches you, there are three safety questions you need to ask yourself:
1. What is he going to do to me?
2. How long will this interaction take?
3. Why is he saying this to me?
If he cannot answer those questions within a few minutes of approaching you, it's vital that you immediately look for an exit, or at least get some help managing the situation.
As far as finding someone with similar views and wants
I often say flirting, dating, and romance are like a fine bottle of wine. It's best to let it breathe before enjoying the complexity of its wonderful flavors. In other words, when a guy introduces himself and starts a conversation, resist the temptation to go into "analytical mode."
You see, women are programmed to immediately start thinking of a guy they just met in terms of what kind of husband he'd be. Or, at the very least, you may start to calculate in your head what you may have in common. You may also be tempted to look at his shoes (or another clothing item) and decide, "Gee, he's not the best dresser in the world, so he may not have a great job, so how will he support me and the kids? What happens if I am the sole breadwinner of the family? Is this guy really as serious as me when it comes to being responsible for our own lives?'
And this is even before he says hello!
Let the courting process happen naturally
Courting is still "a thing" in 2024. After all, it's the only antidote for all the mindless "hook-up" apps available. The dating process should be:
1. Boy meets girl and shows interest
2. Either boy or girl asks the other out (yes, I believe men are so clueless in 2024 about asking women out that you may have to ask him out)
3. The first date is when you both meet somewhere VERY public. He does NOT pick you up
4. You agree to subsequent dates only when convinced he is safe to be around. Otherwise, you can agree to another "first date" or dump him.
This doesn't mean you should start making a list of compatibilities and do side-by-side comparisons of how much better you are than him. This ONE thing is how most women derail their relationship with a guy right out of the gate. Instead of having fun and enjoying the experience of getting to know him, you'll end up being critical of him, and poof! He moves on to someone who will treat him better.
This doesn't mean he gets to pressure you for sex and other sorted demands. It just means you should give the relationship room to breathe, as in the wine analogy.
The whole "serious" thing is where you can derail a great starting point in a relationship. For that reason, I hereby give you permission to not be serious at all, at least in the beginning. Let yourself date and have fun rather than worrying about future plans of having a six-figure income, a 3,000-square-foot house, 2.5 kids, a three-car garage, approval of the guy from EVERONE, a killer retirement, and college tuition for the kids.
Date more than one guy at a time
Now, before anyone here starts clutching their pearls or goes looking for their fainting couch, let me explain.
In the secular world, it is understood that you become boyfriend/girlfriend the minute you have sex. It's been that way forever, and it will be that way forever. But!
Since you are a child of God, and you are NOT going to have sex before marriage, there is absolutely no reason why you cannot date more than one guy at a time. In fact, you should, and here's why:
1. It will keep you from getting too "serious" with any one guy too soon, which could lead to fornication and all the problems that go with it.
2. It allows you to move on quickly from a bad dating experience. Too many women (and men) get too hung up too quickly with one person, which can lead to a bad relationship, leading to a bad marriage, and ultimately, a bad divorce.
Don't try to "make it work." Try just letting it work.
1. What is he going to do to me?
2. How long will this interaction take?
3. Why is he saying this to me?
If he cannot answer those questions within a few minutes of approaching you, it's vital that you immediately look for an exit, or at least get some help managing the situation.
As far as finding someone with similar views and wants
I often say flirting, dating, and romance are like a fine bottle of wine. It's best to let it breathe before enjoying the complexity of its wonderful flavors. In other words, when a guy introduces himself and starts a conversation, resist the temptation to go into "analytical mode."
You see, women are programmed to immediately start thinking of a guy they just met in terms of what kind of husband he'd be. Or, at the very least, you may start to calculate in your head what you may have in common. You may also be tempted to look at his shoes (or another clothing item) and decide, "Gee, he's not the best dresser in the world, so he may not have a great job, so how will he support me and the kids? What happens if I am the sole breadwinner of the family? Is this guy really as serious as me when it comes to being responsible for our own lives?'
And this is even before he says hello!
Let the courting process happen naturally
Courting is still "a thing" in 2024. After all, it's the only antidote for all the mindless "hook-up" apps available. The dating process should be:
1. Boy meets girl and shows interest
2. Either boy or girl asks the other out (yes, I believe men are so clueless in 2024 about asking women out that you may have to ask him out)
3. The first date is when you both meet somewhere VERY public. He does NOT pick you up
4. You agree to subsequent dates only when convinced he is safe to be around. Otherwise, you can agree to another "first date" or dump him.
This doesn't mean you should start making a list of compatibilities and do side-by-side comparisons of how much better you are than him. This ONE thing is how most women derail their relationship with a guy right out of the gate. Instead of having fun and enjoying the experience of getting to know him, you'll end up being critical of him, and poof! He moves on to someone who will treat him better.
This doesn't mean he gets to pressure you for sex and other sorted demands. It just means you should give the relationship room to breathe, as in the wine analogy.
The whole "serious" thing is where you can derail a great starting point in a relationship. For that reason, I hereby give you permission to not be serious at all, at least in the beginning. Let yourself date and have fun rather than worrying about future plans of having a six-figure income, a 3,000-square-foot house, 2.5 kids, a three-car garage, approval of the guy from EVERONE, a killer retirement, and college tuition for the kids.
Date more than one guy at a time
Now, before anyone here starts clutching their pearls or goes looking for their fainting couch, let me explain.
In the secular world, it is understood that you become boyfriend/girlfriend the minute you have sex. It's been that way forever, and it will be that way forever. But!
Since you are a child of God, and you are NOT going to have sex before marriage, there is absolutely no reason why you cannot date more than one guy at a time. In fact, you should, and here's why:
1. It will keep you from getting too "serious" with any one guy too soon, which could lead to fornication and all the problems that go with it.
2. It allows you to move on quickly from a bad dating experience. Too many women (and men) get too hung up too quickly with one person, which can lead to a bad relationship, leading to a bad marriage, and ultimately, a bad divorce.
Don't try to "make it work." Try just letting it work.
Well some of this device is decent. And some of it seems designed to scare you or at least make you see all guys talking to you as a threat. As long as you aren't looking for a date in tge places peopke go to just to find someone to warm their bed for the night, most guys are not a threat when they say hi in public. Good rule of thumb is simpky to be wise enough to not be alone with a guy until he's earned your trust. And if he has a problem with that he's not a guy you want to be with.
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