To What Extent Are Singles and Marries Allowed to Socialize Together Online? (All Input Welcome/Needed for Future Threads.)
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I totally understand, Karlon.
The most common sense answer seems like it should be the easiest answer.
Unfortunately (and with many broken unions to prove it,) many people starting to slide down the hill don't stop, and find themselves trapped in a pit at the bottom.
I remember many years ago when we had a lady start a thread asking, "Would a Christian Man Want Me?" but she was married.
In fact, I'll never forget how she worded it. She said, "I'm a single married Christian," which had all of us scratching our heads. It turns out she was separated from her husband.
And while I certainly sympathize with everything she was going through, she was still married.
We've run into this a lot over the years, actually. People who are separated but want to actively date. I'm not trying to judge anyone. I've heard of horror stories where people were in abusive relationships and their spouses refused to give them a divorce.
But for the purposes of being on the forum, we all try our best to go with the information presented and prayerfully act in accordance.
We're so glad you and our other married friends are willing to hang out with us!
The most common sense answer seems like it should be the easiest answer.
Unfortunately (and with many broken unions to prove it,) many people starting to slide down the hill don't stop, and find themselves trapped in a pit at the bottom.
I remember many years ago when we had a lady start a thread asking, "Would a Christian Man Want Me?" but she was married.
In fact, I'll never forget how she worded it. She said, "I'm a single married Christian," which had all of us scratching our heads. It turns out she was separated from her husband.
And while I certainly sympathize with everything she was going through, she was still married.
We've run into this a lot over the years, actually. People who are separated but want to actively date. I'm not trying to judge anyone. I've heard of horror stories where people were in abusive relationships and their spouses refused to give them a divorce.
But for the purposes of being on the forum, we all try our best to go with the information presented and prayerfully act in accordance.
We're so glad you and our other married friends are willing to hang out with us!
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I totally understand, Karlon.
The most common sense answer seems like it should be the easiest answer.
Unfortunately (and with many broken unions to prove it,) many people starting to slide down the hill don't stop, and find themselves trapped in a pit at the bottom.
I remember many years ago when we had a lady start a thread asking, "Would a Christian Man Want Me?" but she was married.
In fact, I'll never forget how she worded it. She said, "I'm a single married Christian," which had all of us scratching our heads. It turns out she was separated from her husband.
And while I certainly sympathize with everything she was going through, she was still married.
We've run into this a lot over the years, actually. People who are separated but want to actively date. I'm not trying to judge anyone. I've heard of horror stories where people were in abusive relationships and their spouses refused to give them a divorce.
But for the purposes of being on the forum, we all try our best to go with the information presented and prayerfully act in accordance.
We're so glad you and our other married friends are willing to hang out with us!
The most common sense answer seems like it should be the easiest answer.
Unfortunately (and with many broken unions to prove it,) many people starting to slide down the hill don't stop, and find themselves trapped in a pit at the bottom.
I remember many years ago when we had a lady start a thread asking, "Would a Christian Man Want Me?" but she was married.
In fact, I'll never forget how she worded it. She said, "I'm a single married Christian," which had all of us scratching our heads. It turns out she was separated from her husband.
And while I certainly sympathize with everything she was going through, she was still married.
We've run into this a lot over the years, actually. People who are separated but want to actively date. I'm not trying to judge anyone. I've heard of horror stories where people were in abusive relationships and their spouses refused to give them a divorce.
But for the purposes of being on the forum, we all try our best to go with the information presented and prayerfully act in accordance.
We're so glad you and our other married friends are willing to hang out with us!
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I want to thank everyone for their input -- it's been weighing on my mind for a while -- and listening to other's perspectives really helps.
I'll get ideas for the forum but it can often take days, weeks, or months to mull around and begin to form some kind of structure in my mind. This is why I come and go so often. In real life, some people have suggested I have ADHD but I've never been tested for it. I sometimes also wonder if I have a bit of a learning disorder, and while I was diagnosed with depression years ago, I often wonder if I'm more manic depressive.
As could be observed, I seem to be going through a "manic" phase right now (for me, a time of intense concentration in a particular area,) except that instead of the negative things associated with the term (binge drinking or wild spending,) I do things like go on massive writing sprees.
@cinder described it well, saying I will latch on to something I want to accomplish and go at it full force until I crash and burn, and then I can't move for who knows how long. I often can't tell when a crash is coming and have no idea how long it will last. And I've just always been that way.
Do others struggle with this too? How have you found ways to cope?
I wanted to explain this in case I happen to crash and disappear for a while after I've talked up wanting to start a series of threads, etc. It can take me a while to get through the initial idea phase and by that time, I've already used up all my energy.
I really appreciate people's feedback and understanding here.
I realize we all might feel small an insignificant, especially here on a forum, but I can sincerely say that your posts just might be saving someone's life.
Thank you all again so much!
I'll get ideas for the forum but it can often take days, weeks, or months to mull around and begin to form some kind of structure in my mind. This is why I come and go so often. In real life, some people have suggested I have ADHD but I've never been tested for it. I sometimes also wonder if I have a bit of a learning disorder, and while I was diagnosed with depression years ago, I often wonder if I'm more manic depressive.
As could be observed, I seem to be going through a "manic" phase right now (for me, a time of intense concentration in a particular area,) except that instead of the negative things associated with the term (binge drinking or wild spending,) I do things like go on massive writing sprees.
@cinder described it well, saying I will latch on to something I want to accomplish and go at it full force until I crash and burn, and then I can't move for who knows how long. I often can't tell when a crash is coming and have no idea how long it will last. And I've just always been that way.
Do others struggle with this too? How have you found ways to cope?
I wanted to explain this in case I happen to crash and disappear for a while after I've talked up wanting to start a series of threads, etc. It can take me a while to get through the initial idea phase and by that time, I've already used up all my energy.
I really appreciate people's feedback and understanding here.
I realize we all might feel small an insignificant, especially here on a forum, but I can sincerely say that your posts just might be saving someone's life.
Thank you all again so much!
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Any such accusation is certainly uncalled for. You are probably the most upfront member of this site. Your ex-husband was a fool for causally casting you aside. I was casted aside too in my horrible first marriage years ago. Years later, I realized that it was actually a blessing from God. May God bless you as well my friend.
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I appreciate your kind words, Tourist.
I certainly can't say everything was his fault -- I know my problems with depression was a huge contributing factor to our collapse.
I'm very sorry about your first wife but am so glad you've found a good life with JesusLives.
Hearing your story of meeting here and marrying is always very inspiring, and gives the rest of us hope. ❤️
I certainly can't say everything was his fault -- I know my problems with depression was a huge contributing factor to our collapse.
I'm very sorry about your first wife but am so glad you've found a good life with JesusLives.
Hearing your story of meeting here and marrying is always very inspiring, and gives the rest of us hope. ❤️
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I think "Singles Forum" is not a good name.
I think "Singles Forum" isn't a good name because it sounds like a dating forum. I think it should be called "Singles Awareness Forum". And of course married folks should always be welcome.
Hey Everyone,
Just a warning that this is going to be an especially long post.
Long ago, a church mentor I very much respected told me I should start a Singles group, and her words have been with me ever since. One of my callings seems to be to introduce people and bring them together. Now, not to scare anyone, but I'll sometimes observe people here and think, "Wow, I bet they could be great friends, maybe even more..." And I can admit to even writing a few threads specifically hoping certain people will get get to know each other through them.
I have no interest in starting a real-life singles group, nor even one online. I tried leading an online group chat once, and even though they were all Christians, human nature sets in, and boy is it ugly. Just a few examples... Billy and Bonnie are a couple until Bonnie breaks up with Billy, and suddenly Billy is messaging me if I know whether or not Bonnie is seeing someone else in the group. Billy starts messaging me obsessively, insisting I must know something since I'm the leader of the group, and is now fishing other members for information.
Sarah and Susan both have a crush on Sammy, and suddenly competitive sparks start to fly, with each woman trying to show off more and more why Sammy should choose her (after all, God has told each of them -- as they have each claimed separately -- that Sammy is to be THEIRS!) And so the chat turns into a warzone of competition over someone who is seen as The Prize.
Candace, another member in the group, claims I'm favoring so-and-so and therefore, not acting as a proper Christian leader -- then proceeds to lambast me publicly for in front of everyone. It comes out later that Candace has a drinking problem, and has been known in other circles for such outbursts, and while I tried not to take it too personally, I still had to do something about it within our group.
All of these things are just a tip of the iceberg as to what I personally saw and had to navigate just while running a small (20-30 people) online singles group. And when people get married, are they allowed to stay, or do they have to go since they are no longer single?
Being divorced myself (husband married someone else,) I have had people over the years tell me I don't belong here in Singles and am being deceptive. And just when I think I've heard it all in the Singles community, there's always another challenge.
But when God puts something in us, it's hard to shut it off. Writing threads to try to help entertain/unify/help people get to know each other is my current way of meeting part of that calling. My time here is very sporadic, depending on life events, God's direction, and my own energy levels. For a while, God was telling me to concentrate more on individuals, but lately I've been wanting to create more open threads to get people talking to each other and give those who are lonely a place to go.
I constantly experiment with my thread styles and ideas. Over the years, I've tried tons of different angles trying to see what works best and how far the limitations of a forum can be stretched in bringing people together. I've been putting some threads in Miscellaneous so we can meet new friends who don't come to Singles or wouldn't feel comfortable here. But something I've been praying about a lot is, how responsible are we for helping people guard their hearts and what actions are we required to take to ensure this?
Years ago here on the forum, we had a Singles live chat room. One night while I was there, a moderator came in and made us all confirm in voice or through type that we were all single. She said they'd been having problems with married people claiming to be single in order to prowl, and/or singles becoming too attached to marrieds, and real-life marriages had been broken up because of it.
This is often in the back of my mind when I write threads. In the 15 years I've been on this forum, I think I've only put 2 people on Ignore, and one was a married man who had expressed interest in me in some of his posts and was pursuing some kind of positive response.
A long time ago, I wrote a thread called, "The Singles Forum Goes to the Movies," and it had a huge response. Tons of people responded, often with laugh-out-loud comments, and it really felt as if we were all hanging out together, just having fun.
If I have the time and energy in the future, I'd really like to start something like that up again. It can be adapted to a ton of different scenarios and events (or at least until I burn out, which is why I come and go.) But I always like inviting our married friends to join in. There are some regular marrieds here whose company we all enjoy, and members like @tourist will always be seen as a lifetime friend, because he became a regular here while he was still single. And sometimes, half the responses we get are from our married friends, so without them, the threads would sit mostly empty.
I do realize it's important for everyone involved to also stay within boundaries and act appropriately to all of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I am most certainly NOT trying to somehow say that anyone here is guilty of anything in any way -- I'm just saying, I feel like God is reminding me that as a facilitator, these are things I have to be aware of, and He might even hold me responsible to some degree.
I might still write frilly little throwaway threads here or in Miscellaneous, but I'm thinking my "Social Outings" threads might stay here in Singles -- even though we would invite our married friends to come along.
But I do think that keeping them within the "bounds" of the Singles section itself is a reminder to all of us who participate that we have to be mindful -- and respectful -- of each person's status (even if they're not married, they still might have someone, etc.)
What do you all think? Any thoughts about how we can help people meet friends, ease loneliness, have some online laughs -- while still staying within all necessary boundaries?
I'd like to hear from both the marrieds and the singles, because it will greatly affect how I choose to move forward (or pull back) on this forum.
Just a warning that this is going to be an especially long post.
Long ago, a church mentor I very much respected told me I should start a Singles group, and her words have been with me ever since. One of my callings seems to be to introduce people and bring them together. Now, not to scare anyone
, but I'll sometimes observe people here and think, "Wow, I bet they could be great friends, maybe even more..." And I can admit to even writing a few threads specifically hoping certain people will get get to know each other through them.I have no interest in starting a real-life singles group, nor even one online. I tried leading an online group chat once, and even though they were all Christians, human nature sets in, and boy is it ugly. Just a few examples... Billy and Bonnie are a couple until Bonnie breaks up with Billy, and suddenly Billy is messaging me if I know whether or not Bonnie is seeing someone else in the group. Billy starts messaging me obsessively, insisting I must know something since I'm the leader of the group, and is now fishing other members for information.
Sarah and Susan both have a crush on Sammy, and suddenly competitive sparks start to fly, with each woman trying to show off more and more why Sammy should choose her (after all, God has told each of them -- as they have each claimed separately -- that Sammy is to be THEIRS!) And so the chat turns into a warzone of competition over someone who is seen as The Prize.
Candace, another member in the group, claims I'm favoring so-and-so and therefore, not acting as a proper Christian leader -- then proceeds to lambast me publicly for in front of everyone. It comes out later that Candace has a drinking problem, and has been known in other circles for such outbursts, and while I tried not to take it too personally, I still had to do something about it within our group.
All of these things are just a tip of the iceberg as to what I personally saw and had to navigate just while running a small (20-30 people) online singles group. And when people get married, are they allowed to stay, or do they have to go since they are no longer single?
Being divorced myself (husband married someone else,) I have had people over the years tell me I don't belong here in Singles and am being deceptive. And just when I think I've heard it all in the Singles community, there's always another challenge.
But when God puts something in us, it's hard to shut it off. Writing threads to try to help entertain/unify/help people get to know each other is my current way of meeting part of that calling. My time here is very sporadic, depending on life events, God's direction, and my own energy levels. For a while, God was telling me to concentrate more on individuals, but lately I've been wanting to create more open threads to get people talking to each other and give those who are lonely a place to go.
I constantly experiment with my thread styles and ideas. Over the years, I've tried tons of different angles trying to see what works best and how far the limitations of a forum can be stretched in bringing people together. I've been putting some threads in Miscellaneous so we can meet new friends who don't come to Singles or wouldn't feel comfortable here. But something I've been praying about a lot is, how responsible are we for helping people guard their hearts and what actions are we required to take to ensure this?
Years ago here on the forum, we had a Singles live chat room. One night while I was there, a moderator came in and made us all confirm in voice or through type that we were all single. She said they'd been having problems with married people claiming to be single in order to prowl, and/or singles becoming too attached to marrieds, and real-life marriages had been broken up because of it.
This is often in the back of my mind when I write threads. In the 15 years I've been on this forum, I think I've only put 2 people on Ignore, and one was a married man who had expressed interest in me in some of his posts and was pursuing some kind of positive response.
A long time ago, I wrote a thread called, "The Singles Forum Goes to the Movies," and it had a huge response. Tons of people responded, often with laugh-out-loud comments, and it really felt as if we were all hanging out together, just having fun.
If I have the time and energy in the future, I'd really like to start something like that up again. It can be adapted to a ton of different scenarios and events (or at least until I burn out, which is why I come and go.) But I always like inviting our married friends to join in. There are some regular marrieds here whose company we all enjoy, and members like @tourist will always be seen as a lifetime friend, because he became a regular here while he was still single. And sometimes, half the responses we get are from our married friends, so without them, the threads would sit mostly empty.
I do realize it's important for everyone involved to also stay within boundaries and act appropriately to all of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I am most certainly NOT trying to somehow say that anyone here is guilty of anything in any way -- I'm just saying, I feel like God is reminding me that as a facilitator, these are things I have to be aware of, and He might even hold me responsible to some degree.
I might still write frilly little throwaway threads here or in Miscellaneous, but I'm thinking my "Social Outings" threads might stay here in Singles -- even though we would invite our married friends to come along.
But I do think that keeping them within the "bounds" of the Singles section itself is a reminder to all of us who participate that we have to be mindful -- and respectful -- of each person's status (even if they're not married, they still might have someone, etc.)
What do you all think? Any thoughts about how we can help people meet friends, ease loneliness, have some online laughs -- while still staying within all necessary boundaries?
I'd like to hear from both the marrieds and the singles, because it will greatly affect how I choose to move forward (or pull back) on this forum.
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Your wisdom and life experience is exactly why we need you here, if you feel comfortable with it.
I've said this for years, but one of my favorite threads ever in this forum was when a sweet married lady wrote about what her Valentine's Day was, and she talked about how it was just a typical day, caring for her kids, and seeing her husband at the of another hectic day.
She said that she wanted to tell us singles what married life was like, and that there were no special gifts or grand celebrations on her Valentine's Day, just gratitude towards God for another day with her family.
I loved this and wish married people would remind us more of both the good, bad, and everyday challenges of married life.
Too often, I think we singles get caught up in a fantasy (I know I have) and we really need our experienced, wiser Christian friends to talk us back down to reality.
We LOVE seeing you here, @notmyown, because you listen without judging and always provide Christ-centered encouragement and insight. Your real-life resume gives you the background to know and how to approach the current single crowd here, which is often "older" too, and beaten down by life and loneliness.
If you would prayerfully consider it, and feel God is giving you the ok, please consider spending as much time with us as the Holy Spirit allows you. We need people like you to set us straight!
I've said this for years, but one of my favorite threads ever in this forum was when a sweet married lady wrote about what her Valentine's Day was, and she talked about how it was just a typical day, caring for her kids, and seeing her husband at the of another hectic day.
She said that she wanted to tell us singles what married life was like, and that there were no special gifts or grand celebrations on her Valentine's Day, just gratitude towards God for another day with her family.
I loved this and wish married people would remind us more of both the good, bad, and everyday challenges of married life.
Too often, I think we singles get caught up in a fantasy (I know I have) and we really need our experienced, wiser Christian friends to talk us back down to reality.
We LOVE seeing you here, @notmyown, because you listen without judging and always provide Christ-centered encouragement and insight. Your real-life resume gives you the background to know and how to approach the current single crowd here, which is often "older" too, and beaten down by life and loneliness.
If you would prayerfully consider it, and feel God is giving you the ok, please consider spending as much time with us as the Holy Spirit allows you. We need people like you to set us straight!
in keeping with the story you related, i must say i've never taken what i call "Hallmark Holidays" seriously, either. capitalism is fine; participation is optional. besides, i haven't a romantic bone in my body, lol.
the REAL day is February 15th-- Half Price Candy Day.
thank you, seoul. i believe my time here is winding down, but i will keep your large-hearted invitation in mind. you really are the sweetest girl. ♥
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i need you, too! third-finger-left-hand doesn't automatically confer wisdom on a person. i've read things in this forum that make we want to take notes, and i'm thankful to each of you for it. my life has been relatively small, whereas some of you are the opposite. it gives you a perspective... the chops, if you will, i'll never have, yet you share it and allow me to benefit from it.
in keeping with the story you related, i must say i've never taken what i call "Hallmark Holidays" seriously, either. capitalism is fine; participation is optional. besides, i haven't a romantic bone in my body, lol.
the REAL day is February 15th-- Half Price Candy Day.
thank you, seoul. i believe my time here is winding down, but i will keep your large-hearted invitation in mind. you really are the sweetest girl. ♥
in keeping with the story you related, i must say i've never taken what i call "Hallmark Holidays" seriously, either. capitalism is fine; participation is optional. besides, i haven't a romantic bone in my body, lol.
the REAL day is February 15th-- Half Price Candy Day.
thank you, seoul. i believe my time here is winding down, but i will keep your large-hearted invitation in mind. you really are the sweetest girl. ♥
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I will give my ¢2 and move on.
It's just "common courtesy" for a person to share that they are married with children or divorced with children at the first time they see someone have interest in them.
When I show interest, I usually ask the lady if she was married and has children.
I don't want another man in the life of my potential spouse, and that would be an ex-husband. Any time a woman has children, she is still tied to her remarried ex. That's not for me.
I don't want to raise another man's children either. There are a number of reasons why.
I also don't want to get on the wrong side of Jesus Who knows best. I understand that there adultery by the other party, but there's the epistle to the Corinthians that backs what Jesus said.
In a nutshell, that makes communication important.
It's just "common courtesy" for a person to share that they are married with children or divorced with children at the first time they see someone have interest in them.
When I show interest, I usually ask the lady if she was married and has children.
I don't want another man in the life of my potential spouse, and that would be an ex-husband. Any time a woman has children, she is still tied to her remarried ex. That's not for me.
I don't want to raise another man's children either. There are a number of reasons why.
I also don't want to get on the wrong side of Jesus Who knows best. I understand that there adultery by the other party, but there's the epistle to the Corinthians that backs what Jesus said.
In a nutshell, that makes communication important.
PS:
There's plenty of guys who don't care about my convictions. Just look at the divorce rate among Christians. Most of them look at adultery and divorce as a solution to marital problems. That's not me either.
Some say, that's why I'm still single. Possibly.....there are fates worse than being an independent happy bachelor.
I'm not down on those who have gone through divorce. Many times, they didn't even choose that as an option. That divorce brought them down enough. That's a life changing trauma that they and their children should not go through. Plus we've all sinned and come short of God's glory . We need His grace.
There's plenty of guys who don't care about my convictions. Just look at the divorce rate among Christians. Most of them look at adultery and divorce as a solution to marital problems. That's not me either.
Some say, that's why I'm still single. Possibly.....there are fates worse than being an independent happy bachelor.
I'm not down on those who have gone through divorce. Many times, they didn't even choose that as an option. That divorce brought them down enough. That's a life changing trauma that they and their children should not go through. Plus we've all sinned and come short of God's glory . We need His grace.
I had a friend who was bipolar. She had it pretty bad. Got into gangs, drugs, stripping and all that when she was young. She got cleaned up but her bipolar was still pretty bad. She began cutting herself. She'd even cut herself while at work.
They basically stuffed her in an institution and tested every medication available, and nothing really helped. Right before she was set to leave a new drug was released and it worked for her.
She still had some of the symptoms but she also had more control. Quit cutting, etc... so she decided to put her manic side to good use. She went to college and used her manic side to help her focus on studying. She would go hours at a time.
So it's possible you may have a mild enough form of bipolar that affects you, but not with all the negatives normally associated with it.
They basically stuffed her in an institution and tested every medication available, and nothing really helped. Right before she was set to leave a new drug was released and it worked for her.
She still had some of the symptoms but she also had more control. Quit cutting, etc... so she decided to put her manic side to good use. She went to college and used her manic side to help her focus on studying. She would go hours at a time.
So it's possible you may have a mild enough form of bipolar that affects you, but not with all the negatives normally associated with it.
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I missed this post. I usually just read your original post then write a reply, but someone quoted it and I started reading it. Sort of like you it takes me days or even weeks to forumulate a reply. I always love seeing new threads and posts from you though, but I wish I could reply to more of them. I just don't know what to say with some of them.
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Depends on the specifics of the "online singles group", but generally speaking, I see some obvious negatives to having married people in an "online singles group", including anyone in a committed relationship. When you're new to a group and don't even know if everyone is single, that puts a lot of brakes, uncertainty and concerns into it. I would think it makes more sense, if necessary, to add another group that includes married people.
I don't think a group leader is responsible for people who don't guard their own heart, or are pursuing things they should know better than to pursue. All you can do is remind people about catfish, and that people aren't always as they appear... that the group organizers have done nothing to verify the status of people in the group.
I don't think a group leader is responsible for people who don't guard their own heart, or are pursuing things they should know better than to pursue. All you can do is remind people about catfish, and that people aren't always as they appear... that the group organizers have done nothing to verify the status of people in the group.
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I don’t talk to anyone. No problems here.
Actually, in the past, I’ve asked hubby if he was ok with me messaging someone I hadn’t talk to in a while. He had no issue with it, and I read to him what I wrote. The convo was short.
Some months ago, a guy messaged me on FB. He was someone I chatted with back in my college days. The convo was short, and I let hubby know about it.
Actually, in the past, I’ve asked hubby if he was ok with me messaging someone I hadn’t talk to in a while. He had no issue with it, and I read to him what I wrote. The convo was short.
Some months ago, a guy messaged me on FB. He was someone I chatted with back in my college days. The convo was short, and I let hubby know about it.
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I don’t talk to anyone. No problems here.
Actually, in the past, I’ve asked hubby if he was ok with me messaging someone I hadn’t talk to in a while. He had no issue with it, and I read to him what I wrote. The convo was short.
Some months ago, a guy messaged me on FB. He was someone I chatted with back in my college days. The convo was short, and I let hubby know about it.
Actually, in the past, I’ve asked hubby if he was ok with me messaging someone I hadn’t talk to in a while. He had no issue with it, and I read to him what I wrote. The convo was short.
Some months ago, a guy messaged me on FB. He was someone I chatted with back in my college days. The convo was short, and I let hubby know about it.
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I don’t talk to anyone. No problems here.
Actually, in the past, I’ve asked hubby if he was ok with me messaging someone I hadn’t talk to in a while. He had no issue with it, and I read to him what I wrote. The convo was short.
Some months ago, a guy messaged me on FB. He was someone I chatted with back in my college days. The convo was short, and I let hubby know about it.
Actually, in the past, I’ve asked hubby if he was ok with me messaging someone I hadn’t talk to in a while. He had no issue with it, and I read to him what I wrote. The convo was short.
Some months ago, a guy messaged me on FB. He was someone I chatted with back in my college days. The convo was short, and I let hubby know about it.
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