Into which group do you fit? That would be a good start.
The Lord would see me as one with successes as well as failures. God would also see that I am consistently trying to bring peace. There are times when I fail, but He understands the temptations that come from the world. He sees enthusiasm for meeting people who are kind, gentle, warm, and inviting. He also sees the desperate need to be away from people who do not possess these attributes, but are rude and aggressive, if not angry.
God sees me as hungry to communicate with kind, gentle-hearted people who enjoy sharing differing ideas about God’s Holy Word. But when the name-calling and labeling begins, the Lord sees that I am more than happy to walk away and no longer communicate if that’s the behavior the other is demonstrating.
Lastly, yet there is so much more I could write about my faults, I am desperate for change. God sees that I am starving to become more like Abraham, David, and Jesus. I despise specific characteristics of myself, such as misunderstanding a person’s attitude. I am deeply bothered when I misinterpret another person’s words in a downward manner. I, of all people, should know that I must always interpret up, not down. That is a horrible thing to do, and at my age, I should know better than to be quick to think and, unfortunately, react.
Though many years have passed, I am just as astounded today as when Transformation first began, astounded that He is in total control of my life. Like Jonah, I can do nothing but follow the path that God has laid before me. And it isn’t that I want to be off of this path, hardly, no. I Love God’s Plan and path, for if I were on my own, I wouldn’t have a chance of accomplishing anything good. Therefore, through unimaginable hardships, I know I am under the Orchestrative Power of God Almighty. Incredibly, through every fiber of my strength and energy, I always try to pull myself out of those hardships, yet have 100% of the time found that nothing can stop the Almighty Plan of God, not even my own efforts. It was incredible to see the Lord orchestrate events involving so many lives, families, government agencies, and the Law. This Plan also included years of continued excruciating and psychological prodding and probing. Simply put, I begged God to kill me every . . . single . . . day . . . and take me home. I never cursed God, nor did I blame Him. Instead, I glorified Him in His Power to do all He was doing. I was miserable to the point of wanting death, yet I was in complete awe of Him. On my knees daily with hands in the air, I Worshipped Him shamelessly.
And so, to this day, God continues to show rather convincingly that I am nothing and need to step down and back off (in many ways, I suppose). The Day that His Spirit Powerfully Indwelt me, I was not required . . . I was instantly put in my proper place. And so, this path I have been placed upon will be well-lit by the Lord until I can learn to shut my mouth and be quiet. It seems that when I can complete this most challenging task, perhaps I will be placed on a new path but with more positive and calming experiences.
1
1
1
