Dear bluesriverice,
I am not the kind of person to give feel good advice. In an attempt to understand your situation better I have read all your previous posts on other threads.
My concern for you is this. It seems that you feel that every job your at and everywhere you live is a bad situation. As one bordering old fart if you were one of my children I would ask why? If you put a chicken with a big red mark on it in with other chickens they will peck it, sometimes to death. If you are a Believer in Christ, compared to the Chickens of the world you have a big red mark. They will not love you.
You have two choices...we all do...you can either choose to be a victim or choose to stand up in Christ and be strong in Him. Pray and read the Bible. I know it sounds simplistic but the reading of the word of God renews the mind. I recommend 3 chapters a day.
Look at yourself in the mirror, are you cowering in fear? Stand up. Lift up your head. Look yourself directly in the eye and say the name of Jesus. Every time you feel yourself starting to slouch and cower do it again until it becomes habit. Keep reading the Bible, every day.
The enemy is attacking you, you have to learn to stand strong in Him. No one else can do it for you.