Why are women in the church judged for being hypergamous?
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Yeah, I hear you. There's a difference between those of us who think they are God's gift to women, and those of us who actually are 
I think anyone would agree that ALL of your posts are INFORMATIVE.
I'm going to hurt you Miss Search
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Yeah, I hear you. There's a difference between those of us who think they are God's gift to women, and those of us who actually are
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When it comes time for women....
Believe nothing you see online.
https://x.com/MarioNawfal/status/1752624898696945918?s=20
Believe nothing you see online.
https://x.com/MarioNawfal/status/1752624898696945918?s=20
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I dont know if women are being judged in church for being hyper?whatever I think a lot of men actually assume women are there in church to serve them free scones and cups of tea.
I once went to a huge church conference that was womens only and found out I had to pay extra for a cup of tea. I was very distrurbed at that conference when some men were speaking and they were blasting prizes into the audience using bras as slingshots. I couldnt tell if they were making fun of women or just enjoyed all the female attention. I also recall while there were many female speakers one speaker who was male and shared his testimony about how he was gay, tried to live as a female, but found Jesus and now was married. His wife was there but she didnt really say anything.
There seemed to be no equivalent male church conference happening at the same time. I dont recall wives ever saying or boasting about their husbands salaries, but the ones who had married wealthy husbands did complain that their husbands made a lot of money but werent actually christian because they had sold out to mammon.
I once went to a huge church conference that was womens only and found out I had to pay extra for a cup of tea. I was very distrurbed at that conference when some men were speaking and they were blasting prizes into the audience using bras as slingshots. I couldnt tell if they were making fun of women or just enjoyed all the female attention. I also recall while there were many female speakers one speaker who was male and shared his testimony about how he was gay, tried to live as a female, but found Jesus and now was married. His wife was there but she didnt really say anything.
There seemed to be no equivalent male church conference happening at the same time. I dont recall wives ever saying or boasting about their husbands salaries, but the ones who had married wealthy husbands did complain that their husbands made a lot of money but werent actually christian because they had sold out to mammon.
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Giving it more thought there's a problem the OP is missing. She wants a man to match her income, but then plans on quitting and making a fraction of that. This may not sit well with many men.
The idea she expects equal salaries suggests she'll continue working. Really what she's done is what many women do, formed a requirement for man to make a certain amount. It's simply reframed under the notion of matching pay.
Why does he need to match her salary if she's going to quit that job anyways?
It's her choice and she's free to do what she chooses, but I believe going about it in this way will make things harder than simply saying 'I want a man to make X amount so I can quit my job and work part time'.
The idea she expects equal salaries suggests she'll continue working. Really what she's done is what many women do, formed a requirement for man to make a certain amount. It's simply reframed under the notion of matching pay.
Why does he need to match her salary if she's going to quit that job anyways?
It's her choice and she's free to do what she chooses, but I believe going about it in this way will make things harder than simply saying 'I want a man to make X amount so I can quit my job and work part time'.
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Definitely. I know some of my single guy friends are leery about that, it bothers them to even be asked about finances.
It's actually the most well-off ones who seem the most bothered. They don't want to be liked for superficial reasons and they are worried about getting stuck with a spendthrift.
It's actually the most well-off ones who seem the most bothered. They don't want to be liked for superficial reasons and they are worried about getting stuck with a spendthrift.
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Quoting my own post here.....I was thinking about this more, and I can't imagine most of my guy friends would be comfortable telling a girl their income status unless they knew her well.
They would either refuse to answer, or give some vague info like "my job pays $17 an hour" (not a fortune where I live), and completely leave off the fact that they have been saving up for years and now own investments and rental property.
Then they would write you off forever as someone who only cared about their money and didn't see them for who they really are.
But if they like and trust a girl, they will let her know about their income when they feel comfortable with it.
So just food for thought, OP......you might be putting so much importance on this that you are actually putting it out of your reach.
They would either refuse to answer, or give some vague info like "my job pays $17 an hour" (not a fortune where I live), and completely leave off the fact that they have been saving up for years and now own investments and rental property.
Then they would write you off forever as someone who only cared about their money and didn't see them for who they really are.
But if they like and trust a girl, they will let her know about their income when they feel comfortable with it.
So just food for thought, OP......you might be putting so much importance on this that you are actually putting it out of your reach.
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G
C'mon now, Goji.
I think anyone would agree that ALL of your posts are INFORMATIVE.
I think anyone would agree that ALL of your posts are INFORMATIVE.
Ahahahahahaha
Guess who just won himself a lifetime ticket to receiving all "I"(nformative) emoji reactions on every single one of his posts I get to?!
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G
and the ability of said man to distinguish between the 2 no doubt
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My point was saying to match her income may lead someone to think she'll continue working. And that the alternate way I suggested wording it may come across better.
At no point did I say it was wrong to want to change to a part time job later. Just to be more clear about what she's looking for.
At no point did I say it was wrong to want to change to a part time job later. Just to be more clear about what she's looking for.
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Hmmm...this can become a very contentious subject. That said
Realistic expectations, there is a website called the Female Delusion Calculator.
Example:
My ideal man
What happens if you change it to single? 1.1%
What does that mean? You better bring a lot to the table to get the man of your dreams. And if your looking at a Christian man there isn't even a metric I have found for that. But I bet it's a 1 in a thousand... and you got a lot of competition.
Realistic expectations, there is a website called the Female Delusion Calculator.
Example:
My ideal man
- any marital status
- any race
- at least 6' tall
- any weight
- earning at least $80,000 per year
What happens if you change it to single? 1.1%
What does that mean? You better bring a lot to the table to get the man of your dreams. And if your looking at a Christian man there isn't even a metric I have found for that. But I bet it's a 1 in a thousand... and you got a lot of competition.
Who is "worthy" of such a man? I phrase it that way because I often hear people say "well, good luck" in a sort of condescending way when I bring up any sort of standard that involves wanting a man who is educated and career-focused (as I am). If I did not value education I would not have pursued a professional degree, so I think it's only fair to seek the attributes in a partner that I value in myself. The way I see it, I am holding my future spouse to the standard that I hold myself which to me is totally reasonable. I also want to add, in terms of what men are looking for, I think I possess those attributes as well: I am fit, mid-20s, I have no kids, I am still a virgin, etc.
I obviously want a man of God with good character but in addition to those things, I want a man who is hard-working, educated, and able to take care of his family at least at the level that I can. Inflation is very real and it's becoming increasingly difficult to live comfortably. I would not get married and have children if it meant living with financial stress or not being able to provide my kids with the tools they need to do well in life. Despite having my career goals, I would work-part time or put those goals on hold entirely for a man who is able to replace my earning potential and allow me to stay home and take care of our kids. I do not see a husband as merely a wallet, but I think I would feel more comfortable knowing that getting married did not mean I would have to relinquish what I sacrificed years achieve. It isn't even just for me: I want my future kids to grow in a safe neighborhood, attend the best schools, and have the tools they need to well because their parents did their due diligence to make sure that their kids did not suffer as a result of their poor financial decisions. I am not materialistic, or high-maintenance at all -- I am just very pragmatic and know that life is not free and that parents have a responsibility to provide for their children. Nothing worse than bringing kids into the world and not being able to take care of them.
I obviously want a man of God with good character but in addition to those things, I want a man who is hard-working, educated, and able to take care of his family at least at the level that I can. Inflation is very real and it's becoming increasingly difficult to live comfortably. I would not get married and have children if it meant living with financial stress or not being able to provide my kids with the tools they need to do well in life. Despite having my career goals, I would work-part time or put those goals on hold entirely for a man who is able to replace my earning potential and allow me to stay home and take care of our kids. I do not see a husband as merely a wallet, but I think I would feel more comfortable knowing that getting married did not mean I would have to relinquish what I sacrificed years achieve. It isn't even just for me: I want my future kids to grow in a safe neighborhood, attend the best schools, and have the tools they need to well because their parents did their due diligence to make sure that their kids did not suffer as a result of their poor financial decisions. I am not materialistic, or high-maintenance at all -- I am just very pragmatic and know that life is not free and that parents have a responsibility to provide for their children. Nothing worse than bringing kids into the world and not being able to take care of them.
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Hi, I'm the guy that you're talking about that disapproves of women eyeing my wallet. I wouldn't say I'm hostile though, more like repulsed and shake my head kind vibe.
I think getting to the point. The scriptures say not to care about material things. And that if you have a roof over your head and food to eat, then that's enough. That's the good enough for an individual. However, I think it be wise, actually just common sense is to ask what's necessary for a family? What's the financial number needed to raise a family? A minimum number... not what your make or that a guy makes equal or more than you.
If two people can meet that number, I think that's good enough, at least materially
So.... SOME of what you're saying is reasonable. And SOME of what you're saying is unreasonable.
Yes it's reasonable to be ready for that time when the baby comes around. No it's not reasonable to expect a guy make equal or more money than you... especially when that's all we're talking about and I think the amount of money you make is unknown.
You could be a millionaire... That would seriously be unreasonable. You'd throw away so many opportunities to be with decent men that way. It's bad enough women do that by default with other variables
I think unreasonable in the sense of what's [financially] necessary. Let's say X represents the exact amount of money necessary, plus a "decent" savings, to raise a family. Between you a solid guy, you both make X. But, you make more money then the guy. So, you making more is financially unreasonable.
So what's going on? You and many women don't wanna say it ... So I'll say it and be the man I guess
It's a pyschologically thing. You just like the idea pyschologically that a man is making more money than you, a taller, bigger, smarter... Outright better human being than you perhaps in every way possible. Women like the feeling of it.
There's also a snobby social thing that women tend to love... I can't count the times it feels very forced women like to talk about their boyfriends/husbands good jobs when they have one.
I was sitting with a couple, the boyfriend was a chiropractor and the girlfriend was a medical assistant. The guy said , "I work in the health field" and the girl looked at me almost she almost shaked her head and said "no you don't" and looks at me and says "he is a Chiropractor". That moment, that's the moment I did not like her and so nasty. It's snobby and the guy was obviously trying to remain humble but it's often women that want to play this game of "hey, were really high up in society" and let the world know. And I say, " nooooo you are not when you act that way."
Aside the obvious of women looking at my wallet being very uncomfortable... There's also a snobby thing, I think almost all women I ever met seem to do. It rubs me the wrong way as it should to anyone. Sadly, I just don't like women in general because most of them have this or something that irks me. Fortunately, there are certain cultures in which women don't seem to act this way. Women are raised to be humble and just want a family.
What's the solution?
Have enough money to make a family work
Men and women seem to have a strong psychologically urge for men to be better than women in many ways, in a relationship so I guess find that
Do those two and I guess we're good 👍
I think getting to the point. The scriptures say not to care about material things. And that if you have a roof over your head and food to eat, then that's enough. That's the good enough for an individual. However, I think it be wise, actually just common sense is to ask what's necessary for a family? What's the financial number needed to raise a family? A minimum number... not what your make or that a guy makes equal or more than you.
If two people can meet that number, I think that's good enough, at least materially
So.... SOME of what you're saying is reasonable. And SOME of what you're saying is unreasonable.
Yes it's reasonable to be ready for that time when the baby comes around. No it's not reasonable to expect a guy make equal or more money than you... especially when that's all we're talking about and I think the amount of money you make is unknown.
You could be a millionaire... That would seriously be unreasonable. You'd throw away so many opportunities to be with decent men that way. It's bad enough women do that by default with other variables
I think unreasonable in the sense of what's [financially] necessary. Let's say X represents the exact amount of money necessary, plus a "decent" savings, to raise a family. Between you a solid guy, you both make X. But, you make more money then the guy. So, you making more is financially unreasonable.
So what's going on? You and many women don't wanna say it ... So I'll say it and be the man I guess
It's a pyschologically thing. You just like the idea pyschologically that a man is making more money than you, a taller, bigger, smarter... Outright better human being than you perhaps in every way possible. Women like the feeling of it.
There's also a snobby social thing that women tend to love... I can't count the times it feels very forced women like to talk about their boyfriends/husbands good jobs when they have one.
I was sitting with a couple, the boyfriend was a chiropractor and the girlfriend was a medical assistant. The guy said , "I work in the health field" and the girl looked at me almost she almost shaked her head and said "no you don't" and looks at me and says "he is a Chiropractor". That moment, that's the moment I did not like her and so nasty. It's snobby and the guy was obviously trying to remain humble but it's often women that want to play this game of "hey, were really high up in society" and let the world know. And I say, " nooooo you are not when you act that way."
Aside the obvious of women looking at my wallet being very uncomfortable... There's also a snobby thing, I think almost all women I ever met seem to do. It rubs me the wrong way as it should to anyone. Sadly, I just don't like women in general because most of them have this or something that irks me. Fortunately, there are certain cultures in which women don't seem to act this way. Women are raised to be humble and just want a family.
What's the solution?
Have enough money to make a family work
Men and women seem to have a strong psychologically urge for men to be better than women in many ways, in a relationship so I guess find that
Do those two and I guess we're good 👍
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