Parents ill treated

[Scarlett7297]

I am living in a house which is filled with hate and strife. My mother was ill treated horribly by my brother today. He called her a slut, and all kinds of abuses. And wanted to hit her and I took her in my room and locked her with me. I felt sorrowed of the fact that she was quietly enduring repeated angry abuses again and again and again and it hurt me that my mom was being put up to a treatment as though she has no value. He was being ruthless and unrelenting. I am not happy living in this house. He justified it as 'man's authority' , and says Adam was before Eve, so man is greater and so justifies ill treating all women. Even to his own mother. There are many things I have to say about years of torture and harassment but I am just leaving it out. I am trusting in the Lord's protection. But my heart is not feeling good after all this. He has threatened bad things to me in the past and for no reason targets me again and again. I want to step away from this house. And feeling unsafe everyday.

 

[timemeddler]

Tell him to get lost until he changes his attitude, if he's actually threatened you, that is a crime, you can sick the police on him.

 

[presidente]

You can quote what Jesus did in Matthew 15 about parents.

 

[tourist]

Do whatever you can to find your own place to live. No man has the authority to abuse a woman, especially their own mother. Where is the father is all of this? He should use his authority to restore peace in his house. If your brother is old enough, the father should use tough love and remove your brother from the home.

 

[SomeDisciple]

I mean... Is your mother actually being a "slut"?

Especially if she was the one in your household to teach about sexual immorality- he would probably see this as a huge betrayal to himself, the entire family and God... and more especially if she's still married to his father.

He shouldn't be the one to (or the one to have to) rebuke his mother... but if no one else does, he isn't wrong for doing so.

Granted, there is probably a more gentle way than calling her a "slut"... but gentle rebuke does not come naturally- Especially to younger people who are used to being rebuked harshly.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

I mean... Is your mother actually being a "slut"?

Especially if she was the one in your household to teach about sexual immorality- he would probably see this as a huge betrayal to himself, the entire family and God... and more especially if she's still married to his father.

He shouldn't be the one to (or the one to have to) rebuke his mother... but if no one else does, he isn't wrong for doing so.

Granted, there is probably a more gentle way than calling her a "slut"... but gentle rebuke does not come naturally- Especially to younger people who are used to being rebuked harshly.

She was clear the woman is being abused and threatened. Why is the brother in the home at all? Whatever his mother is or isn't isn't his place to say anything. That would be her husband's place. No one else's business. But I don't see that as the situation. It looks like abuse and nothing to do with what the mother is doing.

 

[ThyKingdomComeSoon]

I am living in a house which is filled with hate and strife. My mother was ill treated horribly by my brother today. He called her a slut, and all kinds of abuses. And wanted to hit her and I took her in my room and locked her with me. I felt sorrowed of the fact that she was quietly enduring repeated angry abuses again and again and again and it hurt me that my mom was being put up to a treatment as though she has no value. He was being ruthless and unrelenting. I am not happy living in this house. He justified it as 'man's authority' , and says Adam was before Eve, so man is greater and so justifies ill treating all women. Even to his own mother. There are many things I have to say about years of torture and harassment but I am just leaving it out. I am trusting in the Lord's protection. But my heart is not feeling good after all this. He has threatened bad things to me in the past and for no reason targets me again and again. I want to step away from this house. And feeling unsafe everyday.

if he is prone to violence it might be difficult to deal with him, I don't know your family situation, age, financial situation etc but I think it is for him to leave the house not you. you should not have to suffer any violence. if he is violent again, tell him you will call law enforcement.

You could also remind min this commandment to honour your parents from exodus;

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

How old is he?

Blessings.

 

[SomeDisciple]

She was clear the woman is being abused and threatened.

No she wasn't. She said "abuse" and "threaten" but never said how. Some people think raising your voice and sounding mean is "abuse".
Use your brain. Nobody calls their own mother a "slut" unless they're insane- or their mother has engaged in some kind of sexual immorality- possibly permanently destroying their family and everyone's lives in the family as they know it.

Why is the brother in the home at all?

Why not? Why is the OP in the home? Why is the mother in the home? We're clearly missing some background.

That would be her husband's place. No one else's business.

This is probably one of the most common and dumbest lies about adultery. When you commit adultery that is betraying your children as well- you are ending harmony in their home and destroying their family. Their life will never be the same. They have every reason to be disgusted with you.

But I don't see that as the situation. It looks like abuse and nothing to do with what the mother is doing.

Well, that's because you made a lot of assumptions and answered without asking questions.

Proverbs 18:13.

 

[timemeddler]

if he is prone to violence it might be difficult to deal with him, I don't know your family situation, age, financial situation etc but I think it is for him to leave the house not you. you should not have to suffer any violence. if he is violent again, tell him you will call law enforcement.

if he's actually violent, aka more serious than something like throwing a book on the floor. I'd be telling him from the business end of a Winchester rifle.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

No she wasn't. She said "abuse" and "threaten" but never said how. Some people think raising your voice and sounding mean is "abuse".
.

"He called her a slut, and all kinds of abuses. And wanted to hit her"... "she was quietly enduring repeated angry abuses again and again and again"... "he has threatened bad things to me"... feeling unsafe everyday.

Use your brain. Nobody calls their own mother a "slut" unless they're insane- or their mother has engaged in some kind of sexual immorality
.

I'm going to assume I'm talking to a grown mature adult here. So "use your brain" is something a teen would say. In both of those comments you're making gross assumptions from the little information we have. And yes, people do treat their parents with disdain and call them horrible things. It's called elder abuse.

- possibly permanently destroying their family and everyone's lives in the family as they know it.
.

There is no evidence for that based on what the OP said. You're jumping to conclusions.

-Why not? Why is the OP in the home? Why is the mother in the home? We're clearly missing some background.

Because one is assuming they are all grown adults. A grown son living at home is more questionable than a grown daughter. It's more likely the daughter is a caretaker than a son.

This is probably one of the most common and dumbest lies about adultery.

"That would be her husband's place. No one else's business." Where is a lie in that statement?!

When you commit adultery that is betraying your children as well- you are ending harmony in their home and destroying their family. Their life will never be the same. They have every reason to be disgusted with you.

There is nothing in the OP to assume any of what you are saying. So is there something in your relationship with your mother you want to open up about? Because you are assuming things the OP never said.

Well, that's because you made a lot of assumptions and answered without asking questions.

That's correct, that's exactly what YOU did.

 

[SomeDisciple]

"He called her a slut, and all kinds of abuses. And wanted to hit her"... "she was quietly enduring repeated angry abuses again and again and again"... "he has threatened bad things to me"... feeling unsafe everyday.

You quoting this and turning it red doesn't change anything. That someone feels fear in the presence of an angry person should be of no surprise... but expressing anger isn't "abuse" especially if they have a legitimate reason to be angry.

So "use your brain" is something a teen would say.

"use your brain" is actually a common phrase that simply means to use your own thought process; rather than taking what you're told for granted.

There is no evidence for that based on what the OP said. You're jumping to conclusions.

I didn't come to a conclusion- I said "possibly".

Because one is assuming they are all grown adults.

Why assume that?

A grown son living at home is more questionable than a grown daughter. It's more likely the daughter is a caretaker than a son.

Based on what? It could be the son's home for all we know.

Where is a lie in that statement?!

That entire statement is the lie.

Because you are assuming things the OP never said.

I didn't make any assumptions.

That's correct, that's exactly what YOU did.

Actually, the first thing I did was ask the OP a question. It's right there.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

You quoting this and turning it red doesn't change anything.

Red is to show I'm quoting the poster, it's not my words.

That someone feels fear in the presence of an angry person should be of no surprise... but expressing anger isn't "abuse" especially if they have a legitimate reason to be angry.

Calling someone a "slut" isn't being "legitimately" angry, especially if that person is your mother. That is being immature and it certainly isn't Christlike. If someone locks themselves and their parent in a room to feel safe that's more that just anger. If you're not acting like a spoiled two yr old you should be able to express emotions without name calling and making people fear to the point you have to lock yourself in a room.

"use your brain" is actually a common phrase that simply means to use your own thought process; rather than taking what you're told for granted.

Well most people would consider that talking down to someone. Especially if you say it to an elder.

I didn't come to a conclusion- I said "possibly".

Well I don't see anyone else taking it the way you did. We'll have to wait and see.

Why assume that?

Because to post here you have to be of age. And I don't anyone is going to take that kind of guff off an underage kid.

Based on what? It could be the son's home for all we know.

Could be, still doesn't give him the right to call his mother a slut. I don't have brothers or sons, the closest I have would be nephews and if ever of them said that to their mom or mine, we'd be havin' a come to Jesus moment they would never forget. And they know it!

That entire statement is the lie.

Because...?

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

"use your brain".

Maybe I took you wrong, I took your advice, used my brain and looked up the OP and other threads they may have posted in.

https://christianchat.com/christian-family-forum/mental-illness.210761/#post-5073301

There some answers to both of our questions there. She is of age, not sure yet on the brother.

 

[SomeDisciple]

I'd be telling him from the business end of a Winchester rifle.

FYI the business end is the barrel.

 

[timemeddler]

FYI the business end is the barrel.

obviously.

 

[Huckleberry]

He justified it as 'man's authority' , and says Adam was before Eve, so man is greater and so justifies ill treating all women.

"He justified it" with a straight face?
How old is this punk?

 

[notmyown]

I am living in a house which is filled with hate and strife. My mother was ill treated horribly by my brother today. He called her a slut, and all kinds of abuses. And wanted to hit her and I took her in my room and locked her with me. I felt sorrowed of the fact that she was quietly enduring repeated angry abuses again and again and again and it hurt me that my mom was being put up to a treatment as though she has no value. He was being ruthless and unrelenting. I am not happy living in this house. He justified it as 'man's authority' , and says Adam was before Eve, so man is greater and so justifies ill treating all women. Even to his own mother. There are many things I have to say about years of torture and harassment but I am just leaving it out. I am trusting in the Lord's protection. But my heart is not feeling good after all this. He has threatened bad things to me in the past and for no reason targets me again and again. I want to step away from this house. And feeling unsafe everyday.

my dear, i'm afraid i'm not familiar with your country. are there programs or agencies for victims of domestic violence near you?

while most of us in the west will counsel you to contact the authorities, i know it isn't always the best choice when dealing with an abuser. a DV organization is often a better first step, unless there's a threat to life, obviously.

praying for you... ♥

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

my dear, i'm afraid i'm not familiar with your country. are there programs or agencies for victims of domestic violence near you?

while most of us in the west will counsel you to contact the authorities, i know it isn't always the best choice when dealing with an abuser. a DV organization is often a better first step, unless there's a threat to life, obviously.

praying for you... ♥

Agreed it seems the problem is much deeper by reading her other posts. Someone professional will have to step in and lend aid.

 

[notmyown]

Agreed it seems the problem is much deeper by reading her other posts. Someone professional will have to step in and lend aid.

if the parents will allow it. poor child! something tells me we had better keep praying for her.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

if the parents will allow it. poor child! something tells me we had better keep praying for her.

Yes it seems she may be in a place where women have no rights to their own safety. And with someone mentally ill not being cared for living in the home and violent, I can understand why she is fearful.