monks costume is inappropriate for church?

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timemeddler

timemeddler

Active member
#1
Jul 13, 2023
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#1
I never thought I'd have to defend myself for wearing a costume to church. I was given a long cloak with a hood as a gift and I figured I'd use it for my Halloween costume this year. When looking for something to wear with it to make it look more like something a medieval monk would wear I picked up a cheap black skirt that was ankle length, since monks didn't wear pants and I figured it would make it look more like a robe ensemble. Being the Sunday before Halloween, I decided to wear it to show people. Now maybe I took the cloak over top off briefly sometime during service. Well now five days later I'm getting a phone call from the pastor, claiming he got reports that I was wearing a mini skirt and didn't want me dressing like that and taking the focus off church and attracting attention to myself. I was also told I needed to dress like a "man". BTW this is a church that does the whole trunk or treat thing, and isn't one of those churches that requires women to wear dresses or anything the like. Am I wrong in thinking this complaint is nuts?
 
Cameron143

Cameron143

Well-known member
#2
Mar 1, 2022
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#2
timemeddler said:
I never thought I'd have to defend myself for wearing a costume to church. I was given a long cloak with a hood as a gift and I figured I'd use it for my Halloween costume this year. When looking for something to wear with it to make it look more like something a medieval monk would wear I picked up a cheap black skirt that was ankle length, since monks didn't wear pants and I figured it would make it look more like a robe ensemble. Being the Sunday before Halloween, I decided to wear it to show people. Now maybe I took the cloak over top off briefly sometime during service. Well now five days later I'm getting a phone call from the pastor, claiming he got reports that I was wearing a mini skirt and didn't want me dressing like that and taking the focus off church and attracting attention to myself. I was also told I needed to dress like a "man". BTW this is a church that does the whole trunk or treat thing, and isn't one of those churches that requires women to wear dresses or anything the like. Am I wrong in thinking this complaint is nuts?
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I think you didn't think it all the way through. In every church I've ever been to, there is a mixture of people, both in terms of saved and unsaved, as well as mature and immature. Someone is always in the pastor's ear.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#3
Jul 3, 2015
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#3
Cameron143 said:
I think you didn't think it all the way through. In every church I've ever been to, there is a mixture of people,
both in terms of saved and unsaved, as well as mature and immature. Someone is always in the pastor's ear.
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Shouldn't a simple explanation remedy the situation?
 
Cameron143

Cameron143

Well-known member
#4
Mar 1, 2022
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#4
Magenta said:
Shouldn't a simple explanation remedy the situation?
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For some, but not others. Our only recourse as mature believers is to apologize and attempt to become all things to all people. Otherwise, we risk division.
It's a mistake, in my opinion, to think that the church is made up of like minded people. The church is actually one of the most diverse groups you can find. While we share an interest in Christ, we generally have few other interests in common. Most groups form with a common interest that lends itself to having many common interests. This isn't true of believers. Thus, it takes a great more effort, and a whole lot of humility, to preserve unity.
 
Eli1

Eli1

Well-known member
#7
Apr 5, 2022
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#7
As someone who appreciates the monastic lifestyle i would say that there's a place and time for everything.
Do it for others not yourself because only God knows your heart but the world is going to have weird reactions to your outwards appearance.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#8
Jul 3, 2015
61,241
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#8
timemeddler said:
I picked up a cheap black skirt that was ankle length

I'm getting a phone call from the pastor, claiming he got reports that I was wearing a mini skirt
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Obviously whoever "complained" is a liar. I would want to know why this pastor
listens to such a person. Did the pastor not see you with his own eyes?
 
Fillan

Fillan

Well-known member
#9
Oct 25, 2022
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#9
timemeddler said:
I was given a long cloak with a hood as a gift and I figured I'd use it for my Halloween costume this year.
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Maybe next year maybe wear something different. I saw a gorilla costume in a shop window, would that be an idea? No-one will know that's it's you and there won't be any complaints :) God Bless :)
 
Cameron143

Cameron143

Well-known member
#10
Mar 1, 2022
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#10
Fillan said:
Maybe next year maybe wear something different. I saw a gorilla costume in a shop window, would that be an idea? No-one will know that's it's you and there won't be any complaints :) God Bless :)
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It would probably lead to a debate on creationism versus evolution.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#11
Apr 18, 2013
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#11
The whole transgender thing is a huge issue right now.
So if you wore a silly halloween costume to church, and a few people misunderstood and got upset... is that not understandable?

There is a difference between sin and imprudence.
I don't think the people on either side of this issue had any intention to sin... but misunderstandings do happen, and they're very real.
Simple misunderstandings, in a congregation, can tear the whole place apart - so RESOLVING DUMB PROBLEMS is a very big deal.

We have a duty, Biblically, as Christians, to make some effort not to offend other believers in our congregation.
If you think there are still any hard feelings, go directly to anyone you think is upset, let them know you were just being silly with a costume, and you didn't mean any harm. Do not wait for the other side to do their part; if you think there is any lingering offense or hurt feelings, do your part to reconcile.



I don't think you're guilt of any kind of sin... you obviously meant no harm.
However, if you want to follow Christ, you should take the responsibility upon yourself to resolve any conflicts which you are can.
Our ongoing duty is ALWAYS one of reconciliation within the body... that's just part of Christian life.

.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#12
Jun 30, 2015
25,627
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#12
timemeddler said:
I never thought I'd have to defend myself for wearing a costume to church. I was given a long cloak with a hood as a gift and I figured I'd use it for my Halloween costume this year. When looking for something to wear with it to make it look more like something a medieval monk would wear I picked up a cheap black skirt that was ankle length, since monks didn't wear pants and I figured it would make it look more like a robe ensemble. Being the Sunday before Halloween, I decided to wear it to show people. Now maybe I took the cloak over top off briefly sometime during service. Well now five days later I'm getting a phone call from the pastor, claiming he got reports that I was wearing a mini skirt and didn't want me dressing like that and taking the focus off church and attracting attention to myself. I was also told I needed to dress like a "man". BTW this is a church that does the whole trunk or treat thing, and isn't one of those churches that requires women to wear dresses or anything the like. Am I wrong in thinking this complaint is nuts?
Click to expand...
The wrongdoing is on the person who spoke to the pastor instead of to you. There is also wrongdoing on the pastor for not dealing properly with the complainer. Your choice of "undergarment" might have been a bit odd, but given your costume, it certainly didn't warrant this sort of response.

Ask the pastor what he thinks Jesus and the disciples wore. ;)
 
Seeker47

Seeker47

Well-known member
#13
Aug 7, 2018
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#13
timemeddler said:
I never thought I'd have to defend myself for wearing a costume to church. I was given a long cloak with a hood as a gift and I figured I'd use it for my Halloween costume this year. When looking for something to wear with it to make it look more like something a medieval monk would wear I picked up a cheap black skirt that was ankle length, since monks didn't wear pants and I figured it would make it look more like a robe ensemble. Being the Sunday before Halloween, I decided to wear it to show people. Now maybe I took the cloak over top off briefly sometime during service. Well now five days later I'm getting a phone call from the pastor, claiming he got reports that I was wearing a mini skirt and didn't want me dressing like that and taking the focus off church and attracting attention to myself. I was also told I needed to dress like a "man". BTW this is a church that does the whole trunk or treat thing, and isn't one of those churches that requires women to wear dresses or anything the like. Am I wrong in thinking this complaint is nuts?
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For you:
I guess I'm a little confused (not that unusual for me). Why did you feel the need to wear a costume to church, especially one you chose for yourself as a Halloween costume? You wore this on the Sunday before Halloween, not on a special occasion like a Halloween party or Trunk-or-Treat? What were you trying to show? For what reason did you do this?

For the Church:
The Pastor absolutely failed to handle this properly. From your post it appears he assumed the "reports" were true and chastised you for cross-dressing, without even talking to you face to face to explore the truth. (Boy have I too been burned by that one before.) Isn't there a Bible passage about the necessity for the elders of the church to address someone they believe is sinful? How committed is this pastor and this church to following the Bible?

I am sure there is more to this issue than we know. My criticism, based on your report, is on the pastor.
 
timemeddler

timemeddler

Active member
#14
Jul 13, 2023
461
204
43
#14
maxwel said:
The whole transgender thing is a huge issue right now.


I don't think you're guilt of any kind of sin... you obviously meant no harm.
However, if you want to follow Christ, you should take the responsibility upon yourself to resolve any conflicts which you are can.
Our ongoing duty is ALWAYS one of reconciliation within the body... that's just part of Christian life.

.
Click to expand...
I wasn't told who made the complaint, so I'm not sure how.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#15
Apr 18, 2013
9,541
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#15
timemeddler said:
I wasn't told who made the complaint, so I'm not sure how.
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You could talk to the pastor again, and relay the message.
Just do whatever you can, on your end, to smooth things over... not because you're guilty of sin, but just because making peace is the right thing to do.

People in churches have all kinds of stupid misunderstandings, it happens all the time.
They always need to be resolved, and people reconciled, as quickly as possible.

It also sounds like talking to your pastor again might make you feel better anyway,
it sounds like these accusations were really upsetting for you.

Anyway, this will all blow over.
Just pray, talk to people if you can, and give it some time.
Pretty soon everyone will feel better, including you.
Churches are full of frail and imperfect people, and they're constantly having misunderstandings.... I'm sure your pastor knows this.

It will all blow over.

Don't worry too much.
.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#16
Aug 13, 2014
27,753
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#16
timemeddler said:
I never thought I'd have to defend myself for wearing a costume to church. I was given a long cloak with a hood as a gift and I figured I'd use it for my Halloween costume this year. When looking for something to wear with it to make it look more like something a medieval monk would wear I picked up a cheap black skirt that was ankle length, since monks didn't wear pants and I figured it would make it look more like a robe ensemble. Being the Sunday before Halloween, I decided to wear it to show people. Now maybe I took the cloak over top off briefly sometime during service. Well now five days later I'm getting a phone call from the pastor, claiming he got reports that I was wearing a mini skirt and didn't want me dressing like that and taking the focus off church and attracting attention to myself. I was also told I needed to dress like a "man". BTW this is a church that does the whole trunk or treat thing, and isn't one of those churches that requires women to wear dresses or anything the like. Am I wrong in thinking this complaint is nuts?
Click to expand...
This seems like one of those times where, if it happened to me, I'd just roll my eyes and carry on. It's not worth getting high blood pressure over.

It's like living in an HOA neighborhood. Some neighbors always gonna look for something they can complain about.
 
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