Prenuptial agreement?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

seekingthemindofChrist

Casting down imaginations
Jul 10, 2023
1,178
573
113
#2
If people kept their vows before the Lord and each other, then there would be no need for one.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,181
2,488
113
#3
Is it wrong to want a pre-nuptial agreement
Nope...not in today's society.
Especially if you have any assets that you want to protect if your betrothed spouse turns out to be not who they claim to be.

And it happens...like a lot.

These days women are just as likely to cheat on a husband as husbands are their wives except women tend to get away with it more often.

And guys are bringing less to the marriage relationship than ever before due to a lack of post secondary education and solid careers. The women are actually home owners and asset managers these days. While men tend to work more service related jobs that are low skill to medium skill jobs. (Some pay as much or more than white collar jobs but unless they have a path to management their working days can get cut short due to disability)

So a prenuptial agreement is not altogether a bad idea. Too many stories of "changing" spouses to ignore.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#4
Is it wrong to want a pre-nuptial agreement
Not sure there's anything "wrong" with a prenup agreement, it's just that it's a bit of a cheat that's still a poor gamble. A true marriage of any kind is a risk. And it's mostly a chance you're taking on your own self; not just with the other person involved. It's a danger of loss. It's the peril of emotional suffering either to yourself or your mate. You're apportioning your entire personal to another person with every emotional sentiment involved. In Biblical terms you are entering a covenant with God that no man can put asunder.

And what does a prenup do? It does one thing. It protects money. Nothing else. And to be honest, when agreements enter a courtroom, they become disagreements. So I'd just say decide who you're going to marry. Your mate or your dollar.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,181
2,488
113
#5
Not sure there's anything "wrong" with a prenup agreement, it's just that it's a bit of a cheat that's still a poor gamble. A true marriage of any kind is a risk. And it's mostly a chance you're taking on your own self; not just with the other person involved. It's a danger of loss. It's the peril of emotional suffering either to yourself or your mate. You're apportioning your entire personal to another person with every emotional sentiment involved. In Biblical terms you are entering a covenant with God that no man can put asunder.

And what does a prenup do? It does one thing. It protects money. Nothing else. And to be honest, when agreements enter a courtroom, they become disagreements. So I'd just say decide who you're going to marry. Your mate or your dollar.
Not exactly true.
If you head off to Seminary to be a Southern Baptist pastor and she divorces you...she sunk your career and made your Education worthless in one fell swoop.

She can pay for the next degree and your living expenses while you are studying.
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,475
1,393
113
#6
My heart is a lil sensitive regarding money and wealth lol...😄

My mind is quite unreasonable everytime this topic comes up...but I learned that marrying someone with great wealth is not that simple specially if you are the one who has nothing...because you'll be the bad person in the picture automatically to the people sorrounding you and your spouse to be(not the case all the time but it happened)

But anyways I'll ask why He wants a prenup. If his answer is quite reasonable then I'll say ok let's do it. ☺️

So, for me yes and no 😄 Yes, because I don't think I'll appreciate having a prenuptial agreement....for me it is like my husband not trusting me or he has a bad impression towards me as a gold digging woman.....on the other note...if he has kids to protect yeah I will sign the prenuptial agreement...and we can start a life together without those things...that way living is more peaceful both sides ☺️
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,188
9,270
113
#7
Not sure there's anything "wrong" with a prenup agreement, it's just that it's a bit of a cheat that's still a poor gamble. A true marriage of any kind is a risk. And it's mostly a chance you're taking on your own self; not just with the other person involved. It's a danger of loss. It's the peril of emotional suffering either to yourself or your mate. You're apportioning your entire personal to another person with every emotional sentiment involved. In Biblical terms you are entering a covenant with God that no man can put asunder.

And what does a prenup do? It does one thing. It protects money. Nothing else. And to be honest, when agreements enter a courtroom, they become disagreements. So I'd just say decide who you're going to marry. Your mate or your dollar.
Yeah, that's why I'm not too worried about the whole thing. I got nothing. :p

Depending on who she is and what she has, my wife might want a prenup. Whatever. I won't be marrying her for her money anyway.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#8
what exactly is a prenuptial agreement

?

I think lawyers should marry each other and figure it out but for the rest of us, it's better to stay unmarried, and single though they will probably pounce on people for being illegal.

I dont think singles have to worry about it, its stuff for couples to have headaches aand legal battles over whos stuff is whos.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#9
My glory box is your glory box perhaps.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,181
2,488
113
#11
YES!!! THAT'S NOT A MARRIAGE IN GODS VIEW!!!!! & it certainly isn't in the Bible.
What about the Ketubah?
It is the Jewish prenuptial agreement.

It was in every Jewish wedding. It outlined duties and responsibilities for each of the two. And then contracted what to do if they were to divorce...which usually included giving the dowry to the wife.

Sorry...doesn't sound like you know much about anthropology.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,505
1,126
113
#12
What about the Ketubah?
It is the Jewish prenuptial agreement.

It was in every Jewish wedding. It outlined duties and responsibilities for each of the two. And then contracted what to do if they were to divorce...which usually included giving the dowry to the wife.

Sorry...doesn't sound like you know much about anthropology.
is this Jewish Ketubah in the Bible? that is, God's Bible or is it a Jewish belief?
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#13
1.) The Bible does not forbid a prenuptial agreement.

2.) The Bible does not condone, or even mention a prenuptial agreement.

3.) This is the kind of issue where we have to use other Biblical principles to derive some kind of answer.

4.) Divorce rate in the U.S. is around 50%, and settlements typically favor the woman very heavily:
- So in theory: a woman could cheat on you, cause all the problems, divorce you, take your children away from you, take your home, take half of all your property and assets, take an ongoing percentage of your income as alimony, take an ongoing percentage of your income as child support for each child (that she may not let you even see)... and if you own a business, she could demand you sell it so she can take half of that too.
- Under U.S. law, it's possible for a woman to cause all the problems and initiate a divorce, then take the children, and utterly bankrupt the man for decades... so he can never recover financially.

5.) Conclusion:
I don't like the idea of a prenup... but under certain circumstances it might be prudent to consider it.





Note: There may be a scripture somewhere I'm missing, if anyone knows of something, please let me know.

.
.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,181
2,488
113
#14
is this Jewish Ketubah in the Bible? that is, God's Bible or is it a Jewish belief?
It was a common Jewish practice before the first diaspora.
It was a regular thing that spelled out the duties of each person. Such as the wife cooking dinner, raising kids or making clothes or whatever....and the husband's profession was written in as well....because if he had a "desk job" that wasn't physically demanding the ketubah would demand that he perform his "marital physical intimacy " more times each week than a man who was a farmer or construction worker.

Israelites had a highly legalistic society which was also under a caste system. Every aspect of their lives and society had rules and regulations that had to be adhered to. It was always documented and spelled out in detail (as Moses had said to do)
A ketubah was usually read aloud again at every wedding anniversary...if they decided to have a celebration party....

By the time that Jesus was on tour they had kept adding to the rules and regulations of regular life so much that the water used to wash your hands before a meal was measured as was the number of times you rubbed your hands on each side counted.

The ketubah was just one of many contracts for marriage....before this there could be several others...like the one promising to enter into bride negotiations...one that covered bride price, dowry, and her preparations and the groom preparations for marriage. (He needed to learn his career and build/rent a house) Also covered was when the monies were to be exchanged how the marriage could be ended before it began...all sorts of issues could be discussed in the "engagement" contracts. Each of these was usually written by a grammiton (scribe/expert in the Law) and signed off on by a Rabbi or Levite Priest.

There's some fuzzy stuff surrounding marriage in Westernized Roman descended mindsets. Jews had a minimum of three levels of contracted marriage. Romans (like we do) had 2 with the first being rather simple and only verbal.

Israelites did not have a Westernized mindset whatsoever. They practiced polygamy and regulations required marrying a brother's wife. (See Ruth) It could be circumvented but required more legal issues to be resolved. You married into an entire family.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,505
1,126
113
#15
It was a common Jewish practice before the first diaspora.
It was a regular thing that spelled out the duties of each person. Such as the wife cooking dinner, raising kids or making clothes or whatever....and the husband's profession was written in as well....because if he had a "desk job" that wasn't physically demanding the ketubah would demand that he perform his "marital physical intimacy " more times each week than a man who was a farmer or construction worker.

Israelites had a highly legalistic society which was also under a caste system. Every aspect of their lives and society had rules and regulations that had to be adhered to. It was always documented and spelled out in detail (as Moses had said to do)
A ketubah was usually read aloud again at every wedding anniversary...if they decided to have a celebration party....

By the time that Jesus was on tour they had kept adding to the rules and regulations of regular life so much that the water used to wash your hands before a meal was measured as was the number of times you rubbed your hands on each side counted.

The ketubah was just one of many contracts for marriage....before this there could be several others...like the one promising to enter into bride negotiations...one that covered bride price, dowry, and her preparations and the groom preparations for marriage. (He needed to learn his career and build/rent a house) Also covered was when the monies were to be exchanged how the marriage could be ended before it began...all sorts of issues could be discussed in the "engagement" contracts. Each of these was usually written by a grammiton (scribe/expert in the Law) and signed off on by a Rabbi or Levite Priest.

There's some fuzzy stuff surrounding marriage in Westernized Roman descended mindsets. Jews had a minimum of three levels of contracted marriage. Romans (like we do) had 2 with the first being rather simple and only verbal.

Israelites did not have a Westernized mindset whatsoever. They practiced polygamy and regulations required marrying a brother's wife. (See Ruth) It could be circumvented but required more legal issues to be resolved. You married into an entire family.
thanks for the explanation. some of that is ridiculous & controlling. what i assumed is the monetary factor decided before marriage as in who gets what if divorce takes place.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,181
2,488
113
#16
thanks for the explanation. some of that is ridiculous & controlling. what i assumed is the monetary factor decided before marriage as in who gets what if divorce takes place.
Actually a full prenuptial agreement could end a lot of divorces before they get married. An agreement of expectations and duties performed resolves a LOT of issues.
80% of divorces are started by women who have unrealized expectations of her husband. Some realistic expectations and most unrealistic expectations. Also if the wife becomes the "breadwinner" due to better education and job opportunities then a divorce is usually in the making and initiated by her. She might even likely be unfaithful.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,505
1,126
113
#17
also what is true is this: when people getting married sign prenups, they may plan, although it be subconsciously & or, objectively, a future escape out of marriage the whole time they're married! all this prenup stuff assists in removing trust & faith in marriage.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,749
7,752
113
#18
Actually a full prenuptial agreement could end a lot of divorces before they get married. An agreement of expectations and duties performed resolves a LOT of issues.
80% of divorces are started by women who have unrealized expectations of her husband. Some realistic expectations and most unrealistic expectations. Also if the wife becomes the "breadwinner" due to better education and job opportunities then a divorce is usually in the making and initiated by her. She might even likely be unfaithful.
She isn't June Klever anymore, add to it the rampant anti male bias in the courts and you have a lot of wounded men going their own way.:unsure:(y):coffee:
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,424
5,371
113
#19
We've had lots of discussions about prenups here over the years.

But I also think that some of the reasons behind prenups has somewhat changed, or at least there is a lot more to know about them than just what most people think.

I know most Christians think of prenups as an easy way to get out of a marriage, with visions of taking the money and running off with a younger or richer significant other on exotic vacations and living in a fancy McMansion.

But I'm at an age where pretty much everyone in my peer group is marrying into a blended family with an absolute myriad of things to consider.

For example, I've read about prenups in which, a widowed woman has an adult son who needs lifetime care, and part of the prenup includes a clause in which part of her funds are to remain set and used solely for her son's needs, no matter what happened.

I understand that it's God's perfect plan for marriages to stay together, but in a broken world, nothing is black and white. Saying, "Well if people just follow God's rules for marriage" is like saying we don't have any need for prisons or police because we can somehow just tell people to listen to God and everything will be alright. Even the best of Christians have fallen.

All I can work from is my own observations and I've seen Christian marriages break up for so many reasons people never anticipated when they first got married: affairs -- including online and even sites like the one we're all reading; one person getting sick (cancer, Alzheimer's, etc.) and the other person left because they were still healthy and didn't want to be a caretaker; a couple who got married, found out she was infertile after the marriage, and so the husband left for another woman because he wanted his own family; couples who have lost children due to miscarriage, accidents, or sickness, saw that loss every time they looked at their spouse, and wanted a "fresh start, without the reminders" -- with someone else.

I'm not saying any of these reasons are Biblical grounds for divorce -- I'm just saying, they happen.

And I think whether or not someone decides to get a prenup is really up to the couple, their pastor, potentially a lawyer, and God, very much depending on their own unique situation.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,181
2,488
113
#20
She isn't June Klever anymore, add to it the rampant anti male bias in the courts and you have a lot of wounded men going their own way.:unsure:(y):coffee:
Male egos being overly inflated is overly discussed and most men are branded with it whether it's true or not...usually not.

What isn't often discussed is how women's egos have exploded exponentially from being one half step above property to now having more rights than men. And the women currently are often more guilty of having an overly inflated ego than the men.

Men have no "biological" imperative to have children...just a desire to have sex. (Which can result in children) Women do have a hardwired imperative for children....they always want their own at some point. (Not saying it's wrong just that it's a natural fact) They might desire sex but the desire for children is stronger than it is for sex.

All this to say that (generally speaking) women need men moreso than men need women. This flies in the face of the women's "equality" movement which has absolutely nothing to do with equality.