Hi guys, thank you for your responses. I appreciate Lynx backing me up. I wasn't expecting an immediate reprimand from a senior member on my very first post. In my life as a Christian I have tried to share the love of Jesus with a lot of misfortunate people, and sensitivity is a prerequisite for that. But if you want scripture, I'll give you scripture. "He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal." — John 12:25. It seems to me that if everyone actually believes what scripture says we would be sacrificing everything in life to know Jesus in His sufferings and selflessly live for others. "Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor." — 1 Corinthians 10:24. Instead, we Christians live selfishly, operating on the principle that we need to take care of ourselves first so that we can take care of others, just like everyone else. Remember what Jesus told the Rich Young Ruler? First He told him that to have eternal life he needed to keep the commandments (the opposite of what the Apostle Paul taught) and then Jesus told Him to sell EVERYTHING he had, give to the poor, and follow Him. When I was young, I lived by these all these scriptures. I worked extremely hard in the secular world where I did both my secular work and where I helped everyone around me until there was no one left to help, skipping food and sleep day after day, and still spending time with my antisupportive Christian family and clueless, immature Christian friends, and my Christian church that had withdrawn their support of me simply because the singles pastor was too lazy to follow up with me after he had appointed me a life group leader. But that was a very long time ago for me. Most of these Christians in my life did very unChristian things, and my observation is that successful Christians today with successful relationships are the ones with support. Good parents, a loving significant other. Most Christians fit in in church because they are too naive to understand the whole message of Christianity. They hear the positive, happy, optimistic verses, and not the ones I quoted here. They never take serious risks because they don't think independently, but they follow along with the lackadaisical Christian crowd. How many Christians act on the crisis that 99% of the people around them are damned to hell? I used to. I sacrificed everything. Now I have nothing. Do you think character change in other people comes by blasting them with scripture? Here's what scripture says on that: "The kindness of God leads us to repentance." Jesus did not use scripture to preach to people. He told stories. He only used scripture when dealing with religious people, like I am doing with you.
Now having said all that, I have permanent problems in my life that keep me from working, having normal relationships, and living independently. I have not been able to get all my needs met by the Lord and instead having fallen victim to care from people who don't believe in Him. I have felt for a very long time that I am not devoted enough to Him in my heart for Him to work the miracles of healing, restoration, and forgiveness that I need. Most people have careers, relationships, and adult responsibilities, but I have none of those anymore. I used to. But I have not been able to succeed in life due to some really major problems that I don't have the power to change, and some of which I cannot rightfully talk about because they would involve saying bad things about people. Truly the only way forward for me in my permanently stalled life (more like seized than stalled) is to seek the Lord's face until He responds, and keep doing it every day until He begins to supernaturally change some things that I have no ability to change myself. Lynx, thank you for the suggestion on fasting. I used to fast extremely often. Unfortunately, right now due to physical factors I can't fast anymore.
There are some Christians who have sought the Lord closely, who knows how to seek His face, who knows how to listen to Him for specific direction, and who perhaps have received miraculous deliverance out of bad situations, who then go on to live normal, successful lives. If serving the Lord is like being a soldier, it's like they are in the Reserves. I never settled into a normal, successful life, despite herculean efforts early in life. I have waited a long time to make my appeal to people so desperately (16 years), but I have finally come to the point where I feel it necessary to seek others who unequivocally pursue Jesus, since I have no other options in life. Hence my original post: Talking with Jesus. I was trying to be polite, originally, but some people have given away their lives in exchange for a direct one on one relationship with the Lord, and others haven't, and I am seeking anyone who has.