If Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Won't Marry

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Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#41
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#41
If you dont marry your girlfriend or boyfriend and they dont marry you and respect that then you have gained a lifelong friend and do better as is described IN THE BIBLE, however if you do marry it is no sin either if you cant keep your hands to yourself. It will stop you from fornicating with someone else, supposedly.

I thought people read the Bible on this forum and turned to letter to Corinthians for Pauls advice on these matters as it has extensive advice for those wayward Corinthians who didnt know how to behave lol

1 Corinthians 7:38
 
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presidente

Senior Member
#42
May 29, 2013
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#42
Sculpt said:
One aspect of the "independent woman" is a woman who doesn't need you to be engaged with them 24/7 (and the male visa-vera equivalent). Really, I think it's more related to personality types... some people 'more so' need to recharge by being alone; and other people 'more so' charge up by being with, or feeding off (interpersonally), other people. Most peeps are balanced, but when they're more one or the other, opposites are usually a bad mix.
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I think they mean she's financially independent, not the house wife, type. But I also think about a woman who says, "I don't neeeed a man."
 
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presidente

Senior Member
#43
May 29, 2013
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#43
Karlon said:
if i proposed to my girlfriend which means we were dating, generally speaking, a couple of years & she said no & given the fact that i wanted to be married, i would break it off right then & there. think about this: if you dated for 2 years that must mean you got along well. it also means she's far from marrying. no one should make you wait.
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There is also this idea, that I picked up from movies and TV, that I shouldn't talk to much about marriage before proposing. But we did some, and I picked up on what she believed. We talked theoretically about what we believed about marrying. If I had it to do over again, I would have focused more on those expectations throughout the dating 'process.'

If you did really get surprised like that after two years, you probably weren't talking about it enough, unless you just kept ignoring what she was saying or she was being deceptive and leading you on, or just really couldn't make up her mind.
 
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presidente

Senior Member
#44
May 29, 2013
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#44
JohnDB said:
Usually at some point in a dating relationship there is a point at which commitment should be discussed.

Young Men are forever seeking gravitas...and to a lot of them a spouse seems like a great way to obtain that. Kids however, seem like too much responsibility for most young guys.
(I love kids but just repeating what I've heard)

Young women are all about the attention and nice things guys bring into a relationship...but generally have a more difficult time understanding why guys commit or what is actually required of being a spouse. (And it isn't about being dependent upon him)

Two self sufficient independent people who join together is part of the recipe for marriage success....but I'm getting away from the focus of this thread.

Guys will commit to a woman who is supportive of his goals....not because they get sex. In fact if a guys gets sex from a woman before marriage he is less likely to respect her...not that he won't express frustration from his many attempts to initiate a sexual encounter. That's expected...even from the "good guys".
And women expect a man to initiate a sexual encounter with pressure...and will begin to doubt his attraction to her if he doesn't try. (If you think this is confusing do not feel alone)
But the success of the relationship is in not having sex.

What people say is one thing...what they do is another.
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I broke up with a girl because, based on some things she said, I had the feeling I could do whatever I wanted with her and she would go for it. That was too much temptation. I also wanted to marry a virgin and I found out that she wasn't one, so why waste her time? So I broke up with her very amicably.

If we are Christians we men shouldn't pressure single women to have sex. Men have a responsibility to exercise self control also. The idea that it is all on the woman is a bad thing about US culture.
 
Sculpt

Sculpt

Well-known member
#45
Apr 18, 2021
1,138
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#45
Lanolin said:
If you dont marry your girlfriend or boyfriend and they dont marry you and respect that then you have gained a lifelong friend and do better as is described IN THE BIBLE, however if you do marry it is no sin either if you cant keep your hands to yourself. It will stop you from fornicating with someone else, supposedly.

I thought people read the Bible on this forum and turned to letter to Corinthians for Pauls advice on these matters as it has extensive advice for those wayward Corinthians who didnt know how to behave lol

1 Corinthians 7:38
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You think Paul wants there to be no humans on the Earth? Everyone should follow Christ, not marry and never have children?
 
K

Karlon

Well-known member
#46
Mar 8, 2023
2,549
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#46
presidente said:
There is also this idea, that I picked up from movies and TV, that I shouldn't talk to much about marriage before proposing. But we did some, and I picked up on what she believed. We talked theoretically about what we believed about marrying. If I had it to do over again, I would have focused more on those expectations throughout the dating 'process.'

If you did really get surprised like that after two years, you probably weren't talking about it enough, unless you just kept ignoring what she was saying or she was being deceptive and leading you on, or just really couldn't make up her mind.
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no, you misinterpreted what i said! i said, "IF....." i did not go thru what you said!
 
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presidente

Senior Member
#47
May 29, 2013
9,161
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#47
Karlon said:
no, you misinterpreted what i said! i said, "IF....." i did not go thru what you said!
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I said 'if' too. I meant it as a hypothetical. Sorry if that was not clear.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#48
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#48
People don't do hypotheticals well on here. You either real or you are just dreaming.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#51
#51
seoulsearch said:
I can just picture Goji being like, "Marry me right now -- or the puppy gets it!!!"

Poor little pup. 🐶🥺
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Hey, if his owner can't see the light, he has it coming to him.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#52
Jul 3, 2015
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#52
Gideon300 said:
That's why Christians should have some maturity before they marry. Women often mean well, but the man is not a project to work on. Some women manipulate the man then complain that he's not the man she married. It is instinctive for the woman to want to change the man. That has to be resisted. The man must not give in and the woman must realise that it's not acceptable.

Obviously a great deal changes when a couple marry, especially when children are involved. It can be heaven or hell on earth. Walking in the Spirit, forgiving offences, loving each other in the right way will lead to a blessed marriage. The alternative is misery and eventually, divorce. We get to choose how our lives will go. I would advise everyone interested in marriage to look up Mark Gungor. He's brilliant and very funny, a rare combination.
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In 2021, more than three-quarters (77%) of couples were married, with the remaining 23% living
common law. According to recent data, the prevalence of common-law unions in Canada is the
highest among G7 countries, mostly because of the popularity of this union in Quebec.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#53
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#53
Lanolin said:
If you dont marry your girlfriend or boyfriend and they dont marry you and respect that then you have gained a lifelong friend and do better as is described IN THE BIBLE, however if you do marry it is no sin either if you cant keep your hands to yourself. It will stop you from fornicating with someone else, supposedly.
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It has been my experience that if a break-up occurs there is no friend to have. That goes both ways.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#55
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#55
Are you a former Monkee Tourist?
 
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