I don't know if anyone else here struggles with OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder) but it steals a lot of things away from you and that means the things you hold the most dear. For me, one of those things is God and Christianity. The doubts that get put in my head by the voice that is not my own give me a lot of anxiety, It affects every aspect of my life not just my faith, There have been multiple times when I've considered or thought that this voice (it's very clearly sperate from my own inner voice or dialogue) is of something demonic which is not something I've brought up with therapists as they'd probably send me to the nut house straight away lol but seriously I still do feel its evil and I am considering bringing this up to a priest in the near future. I know mental illness is its own separate thing and I'm not denying I suffer with it but it's just something I've always thought about but try not to as it scares me somewhat. I think other than it being outright evil to me, the fact that it only manifested in my head when I was nine years old makes me wonder more whether this is more than just a mental illness, especially whenever I try to get more religious it hates it and it will make me feel anxious about doing so. To move onto a more lighter topic (sort of) I did attend church last Sunday, one was more modern (I didn't like it) and the other was a mass: so catholic, I have reached out and received replies from both a catholic and orthodox church and I've been put on a journey to faith course for both, I want to let the Holy spirit guide me so hence why I'm going on both learning adventures, it will be overwhelming I am aware but I pray no matter how tough it might get I stay the course so any prayers for me would be much appreciated and I hope you're keeping well and steadfast to the Lord Jesus Christ and if you fell off the road to Him I pray you come back on it because it's worth it.
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