.
I once heard a minister tell the story of a fictional busload of Hell's inmates
who were given a 30 day furlough for some R&R in Heaven. They all came
back the first night because God's world was such a bore.
There were no wild parties, no clothing-optional beaches, no bars, no night
clubs, no porn, no escort services, no pigging-out at buffets, no fights, no
profanity, no ribaldry, no free sex, no vulgar late-night comedy, no exotic
dancers, no X-rated movies, no junk food, no tobacco, no marijuana, no
meth, ecstasy, LSD, fentanyl, heroine, or cocaine, no hunting for sport, no
fishing for sport, no casino gambling, no bawdy strips like Fremont
Street in Las Vegas, and no trafficking (a.k.a. prostitution).
And the hellsters didn't particularly care for the isolation. None of the good
folk in Heaven wanted to associate with them: they were ostracized, they
were segregated, and they were quarantined.
Heaven is a pleasant utopia. It's etiquette, its dress code, and its rules of
conduct and civility; were way too constraining for the hellsters. Especially
suffocating is the mandatory self control everyone has to exercise in their
choice of words to avoid hurting people's feelings.
You see; many of the interests that concern Hell's people are unacceptable
in Heaven; and in point of fact, none of Heaven's people even want to hear
about that stuff. For them that scene is over and they don't want it back.
You know what else is lacking in Heaven? Religious tolerance. There is only
one religion up there. What's that tell you? Well; it tells me that the
establishment clause of the US Constitution's first amendment doesn't fly in
Heaven. The theocratic monarchy in Heaven insists upon dictating
everyone's religious preference.
In other words: Heaven's utopian society, coupled with its 24/7 Big Brother
oversight, universal surveillance, and strict morality, was just simply too
much to ask in exchange for some time off. To the hellsters, God's world
held little more appeal for a get-away than one of North Korea's prison
camps.
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