Would you date or marry a separated or divorced person?

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tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#101
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#101
presidente said:
I was talking about John telling me what I supposedly was saying and believed, when I'd just asked a few questions and posted a few scriptures.



You aren't being a good advertiser for the UPCI with the antagonistic attitude. Also, why would you try to tell people they are going to do this negative list of things... instead of trying to encourage people if you are a preacher?

Why would a preacher people 'SAPs' for quoting Bible verses and asking questions. It doesn't make much sense.

Are you divorced, btw?
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@Lynx is most definitely not divorced.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#102
Aug 13, 2014
27,137
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#102
Oh yeah! Sorry, I forgot that question.

Nope, not divorced myself. Never so much as been on a date. Apathy, y'know. I'm not opposed to finding a wife, but I never have put much effort into the search.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#103
May 29, 2013
9,160
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#103
Lynx said:
Oh yeah! Sorry, I forgot that question.

Nope, not divorced myself. Never so much as been on a date. Apathy, y'know. I'm not opposed to finding a wife, but I never have put much effort into the search.
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Well, let us be at peace with another. There is no need for us to pique at each other.

Do you think life-long celibacy is the way to go for you?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#104
Aug 13, 2014
27,137
9,233
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#104
presidente said:
Well, let us be at peace with another. There is no need for us to pique at each other.

Do you think life-long celibacy is the way to go for you?
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I have had many women ask me (basically) the same question. "Don't you want to ever get married?"

I always give the same answer. "Right now, no. I don't know a lady I want to marry, and I'm not going out looking for said lady just so I can check "get married" off my list of things I have accomplished in life. I am a nerd and firmly believe in the old computer wisdom, "Only upgrade for a reason."

"Now if I meet such a lady, we hit it off, start dating and eventually get serious about a relationship... My answer will change. Then I will definitely want to get married."
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#106
May 29, 2013
9,160
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#106
Lynx said:
I have had many women ask me (basically) the same question. "Don't you want to ever get married?"

I always give the same answer. "Right now, no. I don't know a lady I want to marry, and I'm not going out looking for said lady just so I can check "get married" off my list of things I have accomplished in life. I am a nerd and firmly believe in the old computer wisdom, "Only upgrade for a reason."
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Did the woman look really sad, maybe her bottom lip quivers, maybe she breaks down crying, when you said that?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#107
Aug 13, 2014
27,137
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#107
presidente said:
Did the woman look really sad, maybe her bottom lip quivers, maybe she breaks down crying, when you said that?
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Actually all the girls who have asked me that were in relationships of their own at the time. Most of them have gone through many boyfriends and some have been divorced and remarried.

I got the distinct impression all of them just couldn't grasp the concept of me not really caring about something they thought was vitally important to the fabric of a person's existence.

It's like if somebody told you he's not really into eating, and hasn't bothered eating since he was born. It really seemed that important to them, and that incomprehensible that I would not care much about it.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#108
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#108
seems like Lynx has sprayed a thread again.

I just cant follow when its become antagonistic. What is everyone talking about again?

I've given my reasons, though Ive never dated a divorcee however in the past it seems like a separated work colleague kind of thought he was dating me but I thought we were just being friends. I didnt even know because I was young and naive that he thought that way or why his wife would be jealous since he was way older and I did not fancy him in that way.

The. years later he must have tried to contact me again probably after obtaining a divorce and Im like NO I am not interested you were my work colleague and I was not responsible for your breakup I was being a FRIEND, plus his daughter was was near my age so why??

so I would not get into that...just far too messy.

Also I didnt really know what consituted a date, if you go out for lunch at the same time and share a table supposedly its a date.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#109
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#109
Also I recall his wife inviting me for dinner and I had NOOO idea that I would be any reason for them to break up as like this other woman...crazy. He had children! One was my age from a previous relationship and he had another baby daughter with his wife and no he wasnt a christian though neither was I at the time but it seems like hippies have thse kinds of relationships with mulitple partners.

I had no intention of being mistress number three or part of his harem.
 
N

NestForASparrow

Member
#110
Feb 10, 2014
141
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#110
No. I believe there is a caveat if their former spouse cheated on them, but I don‘t want to go down the path of legalities.

And dating separated women (not sure if same apples to men) can become costly depending on which country you live in.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#111
May 29, 2013
9,160
1,787
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#111
Lanolin said:
seems like Lynx has sprayed a thread again.

I just cant follow when its become antagonistic. What is everyone talking about again?

I've given my reasons, though Ive never dated a divorcee however in the past it seems like a separated work colleague kind of thought he was dating me but I thought we were just being friends. I didnt even know because I was young and naive that he thought that way or why his wife would be jealous since he was way older and I did not fancy him in that way.

The. years later he must have tried to contact me again probably after obtaining a divorce and Im like NO I am not interested you were my work colleague and I was not responsible for your breakup I was being a FRIEND, plus his daughter was was near my age so why??

so I would not get into that...just far too messy.

Also I didnt really know what consituted a date, if you go out for lunch at the same time and share a table supposedly its a date.
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Eating at the same table for lunch with a work college from the opposite sex, or to make a sale with someone of the opposite sex if you do sales and meet for lunch.... those are those fuzzy grey areas, IMO. Maybe it helps to keep a briefcase and work documents on the table to signify its a business meeting. Sitting not directly opposite each other, or having third person there helps. The married one can notify their spouse they are having a lunch meeting.

Mike Pence faced flack for announcing he won't go out to lunch alone with a female colleague or subordinate. Some Feminists got bent out of shape about it, thinking the VP owes lunches equally to females so they can use those lunches to climb the career ladder, I suppose.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#112
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#112
it is stupid, you are hungry you either to go to the staffroom to eat your packed lunch or if youve forgotten it to the cafe. At the cafe you may have to share a table with someone!
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#113
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#113
Otherwise you just eat by yourself in the toilet stalls right?
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#114
May 29, 2013
9,160
1,787
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#114
Lanolin said:
it is stupid, you are hungry you either to go to the staffroom to eat your packed lunch or if youve forgotten it to the cafe. At the cafe you may have to share a table with someone!
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In those types of situations, like a canteen at work where people all sit at long tables, I don't think other people will generally consider that a date. But in that situation, I might not sit directly across from a woman if we both ended up at a table alone together, since I am married. It looks less like a date. And certainly not right beside her with no one else there.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#115
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#115
we dont have long table as the cafe there is no canteen. What workplaces have canteens anymore? lol
You have to buy your lunch at the cafe
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#116
Dec 15, 2018
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#116
At school children just sat on the floor, or teachers in the staffroom as the closest cafe was too far.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#117
Dec 15, 2018
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#117
I shared a ute with a male colleague when I did gardening and he stupidly thought that was invitation to my body. whatever. we were working together! Good grief.
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#118
Mar 8, 2022
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#118
Sometimes there are situations where you have to eat with someone of the opposite gender who is married, especially on travel, and there is not anything you can do about it without being prudish and wierd. I also think when the age range is wide, say a young woman and an older man like her dad's or grandpa's age there is not anything romantic about the lunch expecially from the girl's perspective. The guy will usually also mention his wife or family in some way during the lunch, even less romantic then.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#119
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#119
We usually just bought food from takeaway or cafe and sometimes we did have to eat at a table opposite each other because they dont often have huge long tables at cafes or bakeries or we would just sit on a park bench or the kerb or something to have a pie. Or ate in the ute.

At the retirement villages they had cafes though we didnt always eat there as was expensive but you DO need food on your breaks.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#120
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#120
so stupid to think that sitting opposite with each other at a cafe means you on a date! Sometimes a workmate may shout you but thats what workmates do and you reciprocate of theyve forgotten their wallet.
 
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