Finding a Christian spouse
- Thread starter Makamore
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no its not personal to you
Just in general...people can be religious, but they can also be Pharisees about God. You dont want to marry a Pharisee...Lord knows one can never live up to their ideals about godliness.
But then you also dont want to be around womanising pastor types. They exist too.
I remember several women now separated and divorced who married those types. I dont know why and its a sad story, but their faith remained however their spouses were difficult. I also know faithful men who married and were cheated on by their wives in the church.
It was awful.
Just in general...people can be religious, but they can also be Pharisees about God. You dont want to marry a Pharisee...Lord knows one can never live up to their ideals about godliness.
But then you also dont want to be around womanising pastor types. They exist too.
I remember several women now separated and divorced who married those types. I dont know why and its a sad story, but their faith remained however their spouses were difficult. I also know faithful men who married and were cheated on by their wives in the church.
It was awful.
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sorry dont meant to be a downer. I just see or hear about too much domestic violence and broken homes to think marriage is the solution to everything.
Its especially hard when children are young and dont know whats going on or dont understand it. Also thats when children are most vulnerable but even adult offspring of divorced parents take it hard.
in nz, we dont just have womens refuges, we have pet refuges too.
Its especially hard when children are young and dont know whats going on or dont understand it. Also thats when children are most vulnerable but even adult offspring of divorced parents take it hard.
in nz, we dont just have womens refuges, we have pet refuges too.
I'm married. Maybe things are tougher now than back in the very late 20th century when I married. But what I was looking for was like looking for a needle in a haystack back then:
- A Christian woman who loved God, with similar convictions.
- Similar beliefs on the roles of husband and wife in marriage.
- A virgin.
- No tattoos.
- Someone who met my standards for looks, body type, etc., which I know are ridiculous but I felt like I couldn't do much about. (Hard to control what you are attracted to.)
- Some one I hit it off with, whose personality meshed with mine.
- Someone who liked me back who would want to marry me too.
One top of that, I'd somehow have to initiate a relationship with this woman, court her, get her to marry me. I needed to have at least some minimum level of financial or career stability to get married.
This really seems like a needle in a haystack, especially with the virginity thing, probably worse nowadays, but terrible back then. And how do you know if a needle is a needle if it isn't polite to ask? But I went overseas to work, and ended up in Indonesia. And virginity before marriage seemed the norm over there. At least male or female was stigmatized if that was not the case. So that was good.
But still finding someone with the spiritual, and character characteristics that I was attracted to that I meshed with personality wise, I might have met hundreds or thousands of women who could have been good wives, but I needed one that was a good fit for me, and I had to be a good fit for her.
But I prayed for a wife, and then I started praying more intensely, and I finally met her. That's the good thing about being a Christian and looking for a wife. An unbeliever with no spiritual and little moral criteria for looking for a spouse may be able to find a spouse easier. But we Christians can ask God and He knows where the one needle out of a thousand haystacks is.
Especially with the virginity requirement... it feels like a needle in a haystack
- A Christian woman who loved God, with similar convictions.
- Similar beliefs on the roles of husband and wife in marriage.
- A virgin.
- No tattoos.
- Someone who met my standards for looks, body type, etc., which I know are ridiculous but I felt like I couldn't do much about. (Hard to control what you are attracted to.)
- Some one I hit it off with, whose personality meshed with mine.
- Someone who liked me back who would want to marry me too.
One top of that, I'd somehow have to initiate a relationship with this woman, court her, get her to marry me. I needed to have at least some minimum level of financial or career stability to get married.
This really seems like a needle in a haystack, especially with the virginity thing, probably worse nowadays, but terrible back then. And how do you know if a needle is a needle if it isn't polite to ask? But I went overseas to work, and ended up in Indonesia. And virginity before marriage seemed the norm over there. At least male or female was stigmatized if that was not the case. So that was good.
But still finding someone with the spiritual, and character characteristics that I was attracted to that I meshed with personality wise, I might have met hundreds or thousands of women who could have been good wives, but I needed one that was a good fit for me, and I had to be a good fit for her.
But I prayed for a wife, and then I started praying more intensely, and I finally met her. That's the good thing about being a Christian and looking for a wife. An unbeliever with no spiritual and little moral criteria for looking for a spouse may be able to find a spouse easier. But we Christians can ask God and He knows where the one needle out of a thousand haystacks is.
Especially with the virginity requirement... it feels like a needle in a haystack