What are your relationship dealbreakers?

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,718
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A defininate red flag would be an unwillingness to sign a prenup. A good prenup defines whats hers, mine & ours. Who wouldn't want that?
We actually have multiple whole threads about that, if you're interested.

I can't remember what the thread names were, but I know who started them. If you are interested I can ask her.
 

Sculpt

Well-known member
Apr 18, 2021
1,147
368
83
That's a pretty broad paintbrush there.

Quote from the article:


But let's assume all that was true...

If I love her, will I care if she doesn't value my MBA? If she loved me for my education, she wouldn't really love ME anyway.

Also it was hilarious that an article criticizing women with tattoos, specifically in their education and how they value education, would use "formerly educated" instead of "formally educated." :LOL:
It is kinda funny. I read the article too. The author does youtube dating help vids. She does cite 5 social science studies. The statements are based on correlations found. Stats like that are valuable in quick decisions or triage, so to speak... should I talk to this or that girl first.

Great catch on the wrong word choice formerly/formally! I didn't even consciously notice. Something seemed wrong, but I didn't know what it was.

I'm not even gonna touch the touchie subject of "if she values your degree" issue. lol
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,099
3,196
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A defininate red flag would be an unwillingness to sign a prenup. A good prenup defines whats hers, mine & ours. Who wouldn't want that?
Me. Maybe if I had money I'd care. But I don't have lots of money or expensive things, never will, so it would never cross my mind to get one. My lower end car I'm still paying off, my cash in the bank (less than the value of my car) and my laptop. In order the most I'd have to lose.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,166
769
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Bad temperament/narcissist personality traits and also pessimism would be major dealbreakers. I would definitely have to see him in (or go through) various situations to see what makes him tick. People lose their inhibitions when they are tipsy/drunk so I'd have to see him that way too, and see him go through disappointment, lose his wallet, etc.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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Back in the days of Israel polygamy was common.
In the Roman and Greek Empires a man would have a wife AND a consort. (Paul referred to both as wives in his letters to Timothy and Titus)

Today in our Westernized Societies this is considered to be horrible behavior....but it wasn't this way for thousands of years.

So I'm not passing judgement on your preferences either way....just that some women coming out or still inside of polygamy say they (would) miss their "sister wives" but not the husband.
So.... why don't men these days marry two or more wives AT THE SAME TIME? If you are popular with the ladies, why not just marry them all? What is stopping you?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,663
17,115
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Tennessee
A defininate red flag would be an unwillingness to sign a prenup. A good prenup defines whats hers, mine & ours. Who wouldn't want that?
Prenups seem to be based on a lack of trust which is a basic foundation block in a relationship. This is especially true in financial matters. In marriage, there really isn't any 'his', or her' but rather 'ours'. To me, a red flag would be the insistence that a prenuptial agreement is signed before any marriage can take place.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,663
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Tennessee
If you do go into business together, that would work but you actually have to be equal partners.
None of this, I am the Lord and you are the slave business. Unless you both agree to it, but who in their right mind actually wants to be the slave. lol
No one should be willing to be a slave to another in marriage.
 

Handyman62

Well-known member
Jan 10, 2021
602
267
63
Rural South Carolina
Prenups seem to be based on a lack of trust which is a basic foundation block in a relationship. This is especially true in financial matters. In marriage, there really isn't any 'his', or her' but rather 'ours'. To me, a red flag would be the insistence that a prenuptial agreement is signed before any marriage can take place.
Trustworthly people are in short supply so give trust at your own risk.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,280
2,560
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So.... why don't men these days marry two or more wives AT THE SAME TIME? If you are popular with the ladies, why not just marry them all? What is stopping you?
Because for me, it's not a lifestyle choice I would want or make.
It's not about "being popular with the ladies ". It's about sharing your life with another. Providing and giving of yourself to another.
I'm not a wealthy man....and women are expensive.
I'm also not up for being henpecked. Kody Brown was extremely hen pecked. (He doesn't have the many wives anymore)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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Because for me, it's not a lifestyle choice I would want or make.
It's not about "being popular with the ladies ". It's about sharing your life with another. Providing and giving of yourself to another.
I'm not a wealthy man....and women are expensive.
I'm also not up for being henpecked. Kody Brown was extremely hen pecked. (He doesn't have the many wives anymore)
How much do women cost?

I thought that was why women dont marry because men cant afford them.
Who is Kody Brown, are we supposed to know? Is he on CC?

So it is really just down to money again according to you.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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well quick search shows he's some sort of tv personality on a 'reality' show called sister wives. Is he like a Mormon or something. You just want ONE wife to peck you right?

Is there a tv show called Brother Husbands. That would be interesting.

The only wife show I ever watched was one called Desperate Housewives. It was about this housewife who killed herself on Wisteria Lane and the other housewives were trying to figure out why she committed suicide, if I recall rightly. One housewife couldnt stop having children though she tried all sorts of things, and another was divorced, and the other was OCD about cleaning her house.

It was filmed while the husbands were away from the house at Work.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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I thought it would show things like the housewives washing dishes, folding clothes, vaccumming, or dusting and tidying up, or shopping for groceries but it wasnt like that. Also the housewives seemed dressed up to go out though they never went out, and looked a bit too thin as if they were malnourished.

It was mostly about how the housewives got together to gossip about their husbands.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,280
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How much do women cost?

I thought that was why women dont marry because men cant afford them.
Who is Kody Brown, are we supposed to know? Is he on CC?

So it is really just down to money again according to you.
It's not always about money....

It the giving of myself to more than one that is extremely expensive....and I am not available to deal with more than one at a time. I've found a wonderful wife....it's all I need. Just one good one is plenty.

I'm not cut out for more than one woman to emotionally invest in.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,166
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Everyone on Sister Wives show on TLC seem so miserable. The women seem welcoming and supportive of each other though. I guess they all know going in that this marriage is more of a harem arrangement than a real marriage. They are the type of women who don't want the husband around all the time.
 

Talljake

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
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For me it would be the norm like no drugs,booze, cigarettes.....the standard stuff.

But ...... Arm pit hair. If a women has armpit hair that matches mine.....nope I'm all set 🤢. I've heard some women change the colors on it😂. Hear me out though. If its like survival time and we don't really have options and stuff then fine I get it.... But if you're growing it out to go join a Chewbacca club , then im good lol. Trying to stay warm for the winter 🤢 ....I'm sorry lol
 

Charleeta

New member
Aug 23, 2023
22
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Bad temperament/narcissist personality traits and also pessimism would be major dealbreakers. I would definitely have to see him in (or go through) various situations to see what makes him tick. People lose their inhibitions when they are tipsy/drunk so I'd have to see him that way too, and see him go through disappointment, lose his wallet, etc.
I agree with you.
For narcissist, behavior is centered on only themselves and leaves little room for you to grow into the person God meant for you to be. It is so heart-wrenching when you love someone who will only think of themselves first and God isn't even second!
 

Charleeta

New member
Aug 23, 2023
22
18
3
It's not always about money....

It the giving of myself to more than one that is extremely expensive....and I am not available to deal with more than one at a time. I've found a wonderful wife....it's all I need. Just one good one is plenty.

I'm not cut out for more than one woman to emotionally invest in.
If it is about money........ you got the wrong gal.... should be about Jesus.
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,484
1,405
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Arrogant, People who think that they are better than others...they are called racists? 🤔 unkind and quarrelsome (arguments can't be avoided but if the person loves to argue I feel like that's not a good thing in a relationship... 😯