There are times when I feel as if I will never meet a partner or people in general with my interest. Not only am I a Christian but I am also a Nerd. Meaning my hobbies include watching anime or reading comics and webtoons. I also game actively. A night in might consist of trivia or jigsaw puzzles. There is a huge nerd community but I proceed with caution, at times it can feel like idol worshipping for some. Why is it so hard to just find someone willing to play Pokémon Go on a Saturday. Even at church I get looked at weird when I open up about my interest. I can be into much worst.
Can I beat the odds?
- Thread starter Virtuously_CEE
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I've seen numerous Christians with the same or similar interests. Perhaps it's locally that people don't share them. Or you simply haven't stumbled across those that do.
I have an interest in extreme music. Many Christians would disapprove of it and those that didn't typically want nothing to do with it still. I never met a Christian woman with those same tastes, though when younger I'd hoped to.
I'm now with a woman that enjoys some of my mellower tastes in music. And I'm still happy with her.
You may yet find someone with similar tastes, but don't be too quick to throw away those that don't. Finding someone isn't easy, even when you don't have interests that aren't so mainstream.
Well there's geocaching...it's similar.
However....
Most churches and church groups aren't so much into self entertainment as they are into altruistic endeavors. Yes they do group activities that are entertaining at times but their main focus is on their community or missions projects.
And a lot of fun can be had doing those projects. And just because you don't meet anyone specific in your particular group doesn't mean that those there don't know someone who you might like.
Friendship is a two way street...I know that you enjoy the things you listed and nobody else seems to...but what are they interested in?
I’m in my late 30s so it’s not so much maintaining a friendship. I just would like to for once share my interest with others. So much of my time is spent around doing for others this is something I like to do for myself but I’m always solo.
And that is how it should be. The Christian life, and we need not look any further than to Christ himself as our example, is a life a self-sacrifice and servitude. I know that is not a popular truth in many places, but it is the truth, and I never make any friends by seeking to uphold it. In other words, my problem is the polar opposite of the OP's problem in that I have never found a woman even remotely interested in things like soul-winning, and I am definitely of the evangelistic nature.
Howdy CEE and welcome to the forum.
Your hobbies sound more geek than nerd. This is a GOOD thing for you, because I know a lot of people who are into the same things, mostly the anime.
I'll skunk you at trivia as long as it's Bible trivia, and as long as cinder (another forum member here) is not also playing. If cinder is playing she'll skunk us both.
what I thought Church was all about Jesus not a place to meet to find a partner.
You need to go find a hobbies meetup group if you want that. Theres those card game players usually at the mall where they sell those pokemon cards.
Or dungeons and dragons. Possibly in the den of some dungeonmaster wizard or witch.
You need to go find a hobbies meetup group if you want that. Theres those card game players usually at the mall where they sell those pokemon cards.
Or dungeons and dragons. Possibly in the den of some dungeonmaster wizard or witch.
Who said I was meeting someone at church. Before you judge please reread my post. I said it’s hard to meet people being Christian and a nerd. I am in a singles ministry at church and when we come up with activities my suggestions usually get a side eye because others are not interested. Hence the feeling different at times.
I came in here for support but I feel judged and attacked just for expressing how I feel.
Hi, Virtuously_CEE.
I know that your response was not directed towards me, but please do not feel either judged or attacked for expressing your feelings.
I can only share with you my own experiences, and I believe that I can honestly say that God has systematically stripped me of all of my own hobbies since I got saved, and, truth be told, he did it without a fight or even a whimper from me. Why? Because I could not help but notice that every time he took something temporal or of no eternal value away from me, he replaced it with something of everlasting or eternal value.
I think that I mentioned on one of these threads that God has seemingly put some sort of force field around me. In other words, for as far back as I can remember, I have always been the proverbial odd man out, or the proverbial square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It used to trouble or puzzle me a bit, but I eventually came to understand that God was separating me unto himself, and I have always been more fulfilled while doing what he wants me to do as opposed to trying accomplish any desires of my own. In fact, when I am truly upset or grieved nowadays, it is because I recognize that I am doing my own thing because I am not sure what God wants me to be doing instead.
Anyway, please do not feel down-trodden. I noticed that you removed your profile picture. I hope that you get encouraged in the Lord, and put it back. Oh, and welcome to the forum. Have a blessed day.
Anime and Manga and the other things you mentioned are hugely popular outside of Christian circles and have been for the past 20 years, in the US.
And I know I've seen plenty of Christians come through this site with your interests, but rarely do they stick around if they can't find the niche they're looking for.
And I said nothing about not being yourself. I merely suggested expanding yourself, while still being yourself. If these are your tastes and interests then it's fine to express them and want to find others with similar tastes. But when you have less popular interests sometimes you have to decide between sticking to them, and only them, staunchly, and being alone vs learning to expand and find people.
When I met my gf, according to how she'd been taught, she should have nothing to do with me. But she gave me a chance and learned I was much different than what she'd been told I would be.
Since then we've both learned and grown and expanded ourselves, thanks to the other. Neither of us gave up being ourselves.
And who knows, perhaps making a friend without your tastes might lead to them becoming interested themselves, not that that should be a goal, but it's possible.
And I know I've seen plenty of Christians come through this site with your interests, but rarely do they stick around if they can't find the niche they're looking for.
And I said nothing about not being yourself. I merely suggested expanding yourself, while still being yourself. If these are your tastes and interests then it's fine to express them and want to find others with similar tastes. But when you have less popular interests sometimes you have to decide between sticking to them, and only them, staunchly, and being alone vs learning to expand and find people.
When I met my gf, according to how she'd been taught, she should have nothing to do with me. But she gave me a chance and learned I was much different than what she'd been told I would be.
Since then we've both learned and grown and expanded ourselves, thanks to the other. Neither of us gave up being ourselves.
And who knows, perhaps making a friend without your tastes might lead to them becoming interested themselves, not that that should be a goal, but it's possible.
I must confess that, a while back, out of courtesy for another, I binge-watched reruns of the whole first season of the anime show "Attack on Titan".
Did I dislike it?
No, not really. In my case, I just felt that there were more important things in life to focus my time and energy on. I mean, I know that it is not a popular message, but Jesus did tell us that we need to lose our lives in order to find them, and, in my understanding, that involves giving up many of our own selfish pleasures in order to do that which is truly pleasing in the Lord's sight. To be blunt, I just could not give my heart to watching imaginary anime characters perishing when real life people are perishing all around me each and every day.
Did I dislike it?
No, not really. In my case, I just felt that there were more important things in life to focus my time and energy on. I mean, I know that it is not a popular message, but Jesus did tell us that we need to lose our lives in order to find them, and, in my understanding, that involves giving up many of our own selfish pleasures in order to do that which is truly pleasing in the Lord's sight. To be blunt, I just could not give my heart to watching imaginary anime characters perishing when real life people are perishing all around me each and every day.
Your best chance to meet the person you are meant to be with will be while you are in the process of working for God. So try take the trivia and jigsaw puzzles you have to an orphanage or old peoples home where you volunteer with your church mates. Some may already have or may develop an interest in these.
Could you expand your suggestions into something more general and / or social? Or maybe you could start a gaming and other nerdy things group at your church. Board game nights have gotten some traction in groups I've been part of before and some people might discover they really like those. Or suggest going out to Buffalo Wild wings or somewhere else where trivia is an option but people can also just socialize if they're not that much up for trivia. Or lots of places have started doing trivia nights as fundraisers so that's an option as well.
Ultimately whether we like it or not, doing stuff with people usually involves a bit of compromise and most people won't get to do their favorite thing as a group, but you might find something in everyone's top 10. Or you can just keep doing what you want solo, but finding people who love all the same things you do is difficult.
Church can be a good place to meet friends. I led a singles ministry.
It sure beats any bar.
A couple of my buddies are nerds.
We all have libraries.
I forgot I posted this it’s been so long. Since my original post I’ve learned to value the quiet moments and spend time with God honestly. I have a few friends that are also believers and we fellowship together etc. However I’m mostly handling mom duties and could care less about making friends. It’s crazy how the enemy will have you feel so alone as a way to distract you from the best companion there is God. Thank you, however.Church can be a good place to meet friends. I led a singles ministry.
It sure beats any bar.
Oh wow, that goes back to 2023!
I should have checked the date first and a little about you before writing so much.
I shared some of my soldier analogies in your other thread, which I should have saved for the guys.
Regardless, it sounds like you found the date you wanted and are now a Mom. Congratulations!
Did you meet at the church?
Dear what you need of a partner is what you become. You want some who understands you and play Pokemon on Saturday nights. You have to be open to also do dinner dates on Saturday nights. Compromise in Christ is not accepted but in relationships it's the only way out.
I wish you well. May you find that one.