New Member of the board here, was saved when I was around 10 years old, waited a year or so before getting baptized I admit to say, now 36. For awhile I led a fairly average Christian life, until about the last 12 years ish, were I started falling into something of a backslidden state for lack of better words. I let sinful habits take a hold. I developed a weekend drinking habit and an internet porn problem which had its origins in my teen years. I would sin, ask forgiveness sin again, over and over. There were some weak attempts at bible reading, but had a hard time getting enthusiastic about it for that time. I would still take the family to church because I felt that was the least I could do as a Christian. I would even go as far in a fit of rage to tell Christ to "Get Lost," Which was followed up almost immediately with "Sorry lord I didn't mean it, forgive me."
Moving forward to a few years ago we had a bible study in Hebrews, Then my attitude started to change. I recognized how far I was slipping. I managed to quit the weekend beer habit, although I cheated a bit and gave myself worldly incentive, a pet lizard if I succeeded, and My own worries about what it was doing to my health.
Then a few months ago I had strange dream. I was in my old room I grew up in and the furnishings were burning up around me in sort of a eerie blue flame there was a vague feeling of discomfort, but not pain. There was a voice that said
"Don't you have any remorse." I said "Yes I am remorseful."
Shortly after that when I fell to the temptation of the internet smutworld, the things that had been creeping into my head officially scared me. That was the turning point. Another session of begging forgiveness followed.
Now I think I Finally have the upper hand on that addiction, I've also started reading and actually studying with the kid on the weekend. May it now stay that way.
Moving forward to a few years ago we had a bible study in Hebrews, Then my attitude started to change. I recognized how far I was slipping. I managed to quit the weekend beer habit, although I cheated a bit and gave myself worldly incentive, a pet lizard if I succeeded, and My own worries about what it was doing to my health.
Then a few months ago I had strange dream. I was in my old room I grew up in and the furnishings were burning up around me in sort of a eerie blue flame there was a vague feeling of discomfort, but not pain. There was a voice that said
"Don't you have any remorse." I said "Yes I am remorseful."
Shortly after that when I fell to the temptation of the internet smutworld, the things that had been creeping into my head officially scared me. That was the turning point. Another session of begging forgiveness followed.
Now I think I Finally have the upper hand on that addiction, I've also started reading and actually studying with the kid on the weekend. May it now stay that way.
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