Has the Church Helped in Teaching Sexual Purity?

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Has the Church Helped in Teaching Sexual Purity?

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 22.2%
  • Unsure

    Votes: 3 33.3%
  • Other

    Votes: 4 44.4%

  • Total voters
    9
  • Poll closed .

HeIsHere

Well-known member
May 21, 2022
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#81
No, Jesus didn't lust after women. He said a man who looks upon a woman with lust commits adultery with her in his heart. Jesus was without sin so He didn't commit adultery in His heart.
Seems to me people want to compromise the standard and the words that Jesus spoke, "oh He only meant we cannot lust after married women."
 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
4,764
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#82
Yeah, that verse has been so misused as though Jesus was fighting off sin left and right.

Jesus was tested, not tempted.
Yeah, that's why I underlined until the end. But lust defined, well let me look it up.

LUST is usually intense or unbridled sexual desire : lasciviousness. (unrestrained sexual behavior, or a habitual inclination to such behavior)

So is there a difference between the two? Being attracted without being lustful and sinning? Interesting...
 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
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#83
Seems to me people want to compromise the standard and the words that Jesus spoke, "oh He only meant we cannot lust after married women."
No, I wouldn't personally agree with that because I believe lust moves us to engage, moves us to action. We must have and going about getting what we want because we have no self control.
 

2ndTimeIsTheCharm

Well-known member
Feb 17, 2023
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#84
I agree, my sister is devastated. As I talk to her I see her falling apart. I know she tried all she could but she let down her guard. She blames herself for so many reasons and I said "why tear yourself up now?" What's done is done and now its time to pray and ask for God's help. I warned my parents that we need to just pray and let God help them make this decision. No matter what I feel in my heart I think stepping in now and giving different opinions in a high stress situation will only make it all worse

Your sister is too down on herself not having a perfect Christian family. Please do a Bible study with her about Jacob and his messed up family. The key thing was what kept that family going (which eventually grew into a nation) was God who worked all their sins and mistakes out.

Also, I remember when Pat Robertson (may he rest in peace and enjoying heaven along with Dr. Charles Stanley!) was running for POTUS in the 1990's it was splashed all over the news that he got his girlfriend pregnant when they were young. The beautiful thing about this was that even though that was sin, neither of them left God - they got married to each other and never divorced. This resulted in a beautiful, loving marriage until death did they part in old age and their kids are good Christians too.

I also had a friend that got pregnant out of wedlock. It was a scary and stressful time for her but she clung to God and it all worked out somehow. She's not a devout Christian anymore from what I can see, but what was important was how God took care of them (even if He knew they weren't going to be loyal to Him). From what I learned from that, it is so much more important to God that the child be kept safe with someone willing to be a good parent to them (in this case, the biological mother).

Please let your sister know that God will take care of her family in this time. Just cling to Him for help and support - He won't let them down. Let her know she and her family can come out of this with a good testimony. Just continue to commit them all to the Lord!

 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
4,764
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#85
Your sister is too down on herself not having a perfect Christian family. Please do a Bible study with her about Jacob and his messed up family. The key thing was what kept that family going (which eventually grew into a nation) was God who worked all their sins and mistakes out.

Also, I remember when Pat Robertson (may he rest in peace and enjoying heaven along with Dr. Charles Stanley!) was running for POTUS in the 1990's it was splashed all over the news that he got his girlfriend pregnant when they were young. The beautiful thing about this was that even though that was sin, neither of them left God - they got married to each other and never divorced. This resulted in a beautiful, loving marriage until death did they part in old age and their kids are good Christians too.

I also had a friend that got pregnant out of wedlock. It was a scary and stressful time for her but she clung to God and it all worked out somehow. She's not a devout Christian anymore from what I can see, but what was important was how God took care of them (even if He knew they weren't going to be loyal to Him). From what I learned from that, it is so much more important to God that the child be kept safe with someone willing to be a good parent to them (in this case, the biological mother).

Please let your sister know that God will take care of her family in this time. Just cling to Him for help and support - He won't let them down. Let her know she and her family can come out of this with a good testimony. Just continue to commit them all to the Lord!

Thank you so much. This is just so encouraging to her. She has been taking this so hard and taking so much of the burden on herself. I believe she entirely blames herself, even more than she does her son. So thank you for posting this, it helps me give her something to hold on to in this mess.
 

HeIsHere

Well-known member
May 21, 2022
5,814
2,266
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#86
Yeah, that's why I underlined until the end. But lust defined, well let me look it up.

LUST is usually intense or unbridled sexual desire : lasciviousness. (unrestrained sexual behavior, or a habitual inclination to such behavior)

So is there a difference between the two? Being attracted without being lustful and sinning? Interesting...
I would avoid modern day definitions, biblically lust means to gratify oneself.

These are his @NotmebutHim words "sexually attractive" not "attractive."

I think Jesus is quite clear..' 28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Jesus raised the bar from external acts to internal thoughts.
Some can contain their thought life and even justify it as not sinful but Jesus also tells us that sin starts in the heart.

And the problem is not that she/he is someone's son or daughter but rather someone's possible future spouse.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,187
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#87
So then you would agree Jesus is the standard?
In truth Jesus is engaged to his bride....the Church....and that is why the Church is the "Bride of Christ" . No other woman will suffice.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,083
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#88
It's actually my nephew. :) But there is an upset over keeping the child or giving it up for adoption. My sister is wanting adoption, my BIL is not and I see and understand their reasons, both are valid.
I think it is really the parents' decision and the grandparents will have to deal with the decision. Since the nephew and girl are 18 they can make it work if they really wanted to. What are your sister's reasons? Is it possible that your sister wants adoption so her son would not be responsible for child support for 18 years? It is a major financial obligation.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#89
Can your sister be a Godparent to her grandchild? Isnt that what all of us are called to be anyway? See it as an opportunity for blessing instead of 'oh what will the neighbours think'

I really dont get that about some parents esp Pastors families that often have the most rebellious kids lol
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,083
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#90
There is trauma associated with adoption (primal wound); there has been a lot of recent study on this. For the child, it is better to stay with the biological parents assuming it is a safe and loving option.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
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#91
There is trauma associated with adoption (primal wound); there has been a lot of recent study on this. For the child, it is better to stay with the biological parents assuming it is a safe and loving option.
I can't speak for all cases, but ultimately adoption is in God's hands.

As an adult adoptee myself with no knowledge of my background, I can say that I am 100%+ glad I that was adopted, so it can be an excellent choice.

My grandmother was adopted as well, and it resulted in her having an amazing life.

But we were adopted in long past times and I was adopted from another country.

It seems these days things can be much more complicated, with both biological and adopted parents having various rights to the child depending on the country and local legislation.

Still, I want to say that if adoption is chosen, rest assured that God can work it out.

After all, God calls us all adopted, and He's worked out many other adoptions as well, such as Moses.
 

Moses_Young

Well-known member
Sep 15, 2019
9,969
5,529
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#92
Seems to me people want to compromise the standard and the words that Jesus spoke, "oh He only meant we cannot lust after married women."
I'm not sure you're differentiating between lust and natural, normal desire. It seems to me you're not, but I could be wrong. To have or sustain such a desire for a married woman is lust - to have it for an unmarried woman is not.

These verses from Deuteronomy 21 - rules God gave for an Israelite man who found a beautiful (captive) woman he decided he wanted to marry - would you describe these as lust, or natural desire?

10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,
11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;
12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;
13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,187
2,504
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#93
I'm not sure you're differentiating between lust and natural, normal desire. It seems to me you're not, but I could be wrong. To have or sustain such a desire for a married woman is lust - to have it for an unmarried woman is not.

These verses from Deuteronomy 21 - rules God gave for an Israelite man who found a beautiful (captive) woman he decided he wanted to marry - would you describe these as lust, or natural desire?

10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,
11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;
12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;
13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.
There are several things at play here...
Sins are different when it comes time for Biblical descriptions and don't necessarily come across as clearly as what the intention is to be.

Coveting is the desire for something God has not given you. Many people dream of winning the lottery....it's not healthy. Same as dreaming about a woman who is not your girlfriend/boyfriend or a person who belongs to another. (Married)

Jealousy is not a sin. It's a natural reaction when something of yours is in another person's possession.

Envy, in scripture, is when you want possession of some-thing/one solely for the purpose of denying it to the other person...."They don't deserve..."

Lust is specific desires for some-thing/one. It doesn't necessarily mean sexual desire. "Lust of the eyes " vx "lust of the flesh"

The normal desire for physical intimacy is exactly that...normal as God has created you and not a sin. Natural order of things is God's design. Unrestrained and unrestricted acting upon those desires is sin. Objectifying others by completely disregarding their best interests, wants, desires, preferences and etc and only being concerned with yourself is also a huge sin. (You may love her but does she love you?)

Hope this helps.
 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
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#94
I think it is really the parents' decision and the grandparents will have to deal with the decision. Since the nephew and girl are 18 they can make it work if they really wanted to. What are your sister's reasons? Is it possible that your sister wants adoption so her son would not be responsible for child support for 18 years? It is a major financial obligation.

No, I believe she fears that the girl is unable to care for a baby. She comes from a very bad home situation and has many emotional issues. On top of that she seems to not know the basics of hygiene for herself. It seems her mother pretty much left her to raise herself, not even teaching her basic self care. My sister told me that she got upset over something and tried to drive into traffic with my nephew in the car. So my sister is fearful for the childs safety, not even certain that she will feed him/her and give basic care.
 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
4,764
2,045
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#95
I can't speak for all cases, but ultimately adoption is in God's hands.

As an adult adoptee myself with no knowledge of my background, I can say that I am 100%+ glad I that was adopted, so it can be an excellent choice.

My grandmother was adopted as well, and it resulted in her having an amazing life.

But we were adopted in long past times and I was adopted from another country.

It seems these days things can be much more complicated, with both biological and adopted parents having various rights to the child depending on the country and local legislation.

Still, I want to say that if adoption is chosen, rest assured that God can work it out.

After all, God calls us all adopted, and He's worked out many other adoptions as well, such as Moses.

Thank you sister for sharing this. In my heart I don't want to see an adoption. But they live too far away for me to be of any help. I understand why my sister feels as she does. I haven't talked to her recently so I don't know if she still feels the same way. I'm just praying that what ever why they choose God will use it for His glory.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,235
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#96
The only institutions that effectively teach abstinence are churches and families/ parents. To say "the church" is a misnomer to me as I don't believe that every church is affiliated or monolithic.

Most churches do not contribute to sexual purity is clear from the divorce rate and the promiscuity of so called Christians.
Likewise, most parents have good intentions probably, but don't follow God's instructions for raising children.

Positive results are found in churches that preach the whole council of God. The world hates them because of this, but good parents who read the Word with the Holy Spirit's guidance and obedience produce good fruit.
Those are the rare trees that I cherish and appreciate.
 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
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#97
I'm not sure you're differentiating between lust and natural, normal desire. It seems to me you're not, but I could be wrong. To have or sustain such a desire for a married woman is lust - to have it for an unmarried woman is not.

These verses from Deuteronomy 21 - rules God gave for an Israelite man who found a beautiful (captive) woman he decided he wanted to marry - would you describe these as lust, or natural desire?

10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,
11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;
12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;
13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.
So here we go, as adults already we have differing views over what the word lust actually means. I understand that a man is wired differently than a woman when it comes not only to sex but attraction. I also believe that God created us that way and it's not some flaw in men. And I think this is where the rubber meets the road so to speak. When does attraction/desire spin out of control and into sin? If we can't come to that decision as adults how to we expect teens to do so? I believe this is where the church and parents let teens down, perhaps because we don't have an answer ourselves.
 
F

FollowingtheWay

Guest
#98
A lot of times there are sins behind the sinful behavior. Rarely does a man truly commit adulterous behavior for the sake of sex itself His heart is searching for something deeper at a soul level outside Gods will. It’s not enough to say it’s wrong and just stop doing it. I found that poor advice very unhelpful. I found I also had an idol towards woman’s body in general . Not only a confession and repentance of lust, perversion, adultry but there are core idols to confess and repent of. What in pornography is my heart searching for… validation as a man in my case. I had and still do have to confess heart idols of approval, validation quite often before they give way to sinful behavior. If I catch my want for validation early enough, I can steer the ship away from the behavior before it even happens . It’s deep soul work to change sinful behavior at its core
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#99
No, I believe she fears that the girl is unable to care for a baby. She comes from a very bad home situation and has many emotional issues. On top of that she seems to not know the basics of hygiene for herself. It seems her mother pretty much left her to raise herself, not even teaching her basic self care. My sister told me that she got upset over something and tried to drive into traffic with my nephew in the car. So my sister is fearful for the childs safety, not even certain that she will feed him/her and give basic care.
what about her dad what happened to him.
why does everyone blame the mother? The dad could have taken off and didnt look after her.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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A lot of times there are sins behind the sinful behavior. Rarely does a man truly commit adulterous behavior for the sake of sex itself His heart is searching for something deeper at a soul level outside Gods will. It’s not enough to say it’s wrong and just stop doing it. I found that poor advice very unhelpful. I found I also had an idol towards woman’s body in general . Not only a confession and repentance of lust, perversion, adultry but there are core idols to confess and repent of. What in pornography is my heart searching for… validation as a man in my case. I had and still do have to confess heart idols of approval, validation quite often before they give way to sinful behavior. If I catch my want for validation early enough, I can steer the ship away from the behavior before it even happens . It’s deep soul work to change sinful behavior at its core
validation as a man??

what do you mean and how can pornogrpahy give you validation? Looking at naked women gives you validation?