Does "I Love You" Have a Different Impact on You in Another Language?

[Lynx]

my husband says i love you by emptying the dishwasher, or pulling the covers up over my shoulder in the night because he knows i get cold.

many ways to express the emotion.

There is no historical record of any woman EVER shooting her husband while he was washing the dishes. As far as we can tell, it has never happened.

 

[seoulsearch]

How about when you say nothing at all?

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing .......Ronan Keating

You are definitely right in that sometimes saying nothing at all is the most powerful thing we can say.

 

[seoulsearch]

hi sweetie

in the (very long) past, i studied two other languages long enough, and learned them well enough to dream in them. at that point, when you're not doing rapid translations in your head, it just sorta all blends together.

i'm not a logical person. i refer to myself as an emotional responder. i feel the feelings first, and later can think about things logically. so as to your question about being chewed out in a language i don't know (as my beloved German auntie did on occasion), i felt it! i knew she was displeased and although i may have had a general idea what the trouble was, i didn't know what she was saying particularly. it still stung! (although she has gone Home, she's still my favorite aunt... maybe that's why it stung?)

that's my experience, for what it's worth.

my husband says i love you by emptying the dishwasher, or pulling the covers up over my shoulder in the night because he knows i get cold.

many ways to express the emotion.

Oh man, I could FEEL the hurt when you were talking about much it stung that your aunt was upset with you. I'm sure I would have cried.

And on the other end of the spectrum, as you've demonstrated by the actions of your awesome hubby, it's amazing to me how God has given us ways of conveying emotion that go so far beyond, and often can't be conveyed in words.

Thank you so much for sharing!!! Good to see you, @notmyown!

 

[seoulsearch]

There is no historical record of any woman EVER shooting her husband while he was washing the dishes. As far as we can tell, it has never happened.

Just don't look up the historical record of husbands NOT doing the dishes... That one might not be as "clean."

 

[seoulsearch]

Interesting topic, Kim. Over here the phrase “I love you” is divided into different ways of expressing your love and affection. The translation of “I love you” is “jeg elsker deg”. This phrase isn’t that common in Norwegian because its connotations are pointing at love in a mighty affectionate manner. It’s more common to say “jeg er glad i deg”, which means “I love you” like in the English speaking world. Translated though, it says “I’m happy with you”, which sounds more like something you would say to your spouse after 20 years of marriage.

Anyways, in Norwegian the context of what you say doesn’t really make an influence on your phrases or idioms, so when context will show how to interpret “I love you”, this isn’t necessarily the case in Norwegian and choosing the correct words becomes more important.

This is fascinating.

Kind of like how the Eskimos have over 27 words for snow?

I always think of it as a small miracle, that God gives us the power to translate feelings into words, and vice versa, even if the translation isn't always perfect.

If I ever get to express affection in another language, I admit I'll be a little paranoid about getting the right phrasing and within the right context.

Thank you so much for taking the time to post!

 

[seoulsearch]

The Bible translation community has adopted the terminology of putting the Bible into someone's "heart language" and I think that's relevant to this discussion because I think our emotional connections form to a specific set of words and sounds. A person's heart language doesn't have to exactly correspond to what we think of as a language. I remember friends overseas saying that since their entire christian experience had been in English that reading the Bible in English felt more natural and they understood the theological terms better than reading it in their "native" language and also a few experiences where something being or not being in English did affect the impact of what was said.

But like any other language, I think a person's heart language could add some new vocabulary as life goes on and other relationships come into the picture. So supposing I marry a foreigner who's heart language is something other than English; I think I can reasonably expect to develop an emotional connection to I love you in his language, but that is mainly going to come through the context of our relationship and as he demonstrates it that foreign phrase will become filled with meaning that connects with my heart. And that's my two cents on the subject for whatever it's worth.

"The Heart Language."

I absolutely love this and this captures the essence of this conversation perfectly.

I often wonder what God would say HIS "love languages" are, and if He has favorites for different occasions, or different ones with different people, and why.

I know one of the times I "feel" God's love most is when I'm admiring something in nature -- a beautiful row of flowers, or a magnificently made animal, and I think, "God, you are amazing!!!"

I don't know what "language" God is speaking to me at the time, but in those moments I sometimes feel like His love is so tangible, I could almost carry it home in a box.

Thank you so much for sharing this, Cinder!!!

I really appreciate people here sharing from their own experiences with the different languages and cultures they have personal experience with.

Bellissimo!

 

[Lanolin]

I need my alone time
I dont like being force fed love (when love is in the form of food) or love bombed particularly but there is a reason why this song got to be number one...probably not just the words but the way she sang it and added 'will always' to the I love you.
Stevie Wonder also just called to say I love you.

 

[seoulsearch]

Been watching too much Korean drama that time, so I said my first I love you “Saranghe” in Korean language. And I don’t say that much because I am quite a logical person.
“Saranghe” does not really sound endearing in my opinion. The Filipino version “mahal kita” is still my favorite but “i love you” is more commonly used because it is universal since we have so many local languages or dialects.
Trivia:
Did you know that “mahal” also means expensive? I don’t understand why they used the word mahal for love. Maybe because love is priceless? Or having a relationship is expensive? 😅😅😂

How interesting that you chose to say "I love you" in a language you had been exposed to at the time and not necessarily your native language.

Very interesting about the differences between languages... And I loved your last pondering about part of the Filipino way of saying I love you can also mean expensive.

Anyone who has ever been in it certainly knows that, as you said, love is priceless... But it also comes with a price.

Awesome post, Tinkerbell!

 

[seoulsearch]

I need my alone time
I dont like being force fed love (when love is in the form of food) or love bombed particularly but there is a reason why this song got to be number one...probably not just the words but the way she sang it and added 'will always' to the I love you.
Stevie Wonder also just called to say I love you.

I was so sad when I heard about Whitney Houston's death.

I remember when she was just starting to hit it big, and I just thought she was one of the most beautiful women ever, with the most incredible voice.

It was so ironic that after she died, I read an article by a secular journalist who said he had once heard her sing a string of gospel songs (she got her start in church choir, after all,) and he said hearing her powerful voice belt out those songs made it unquestionable that her voice was tailor made for that kind of singing.

I found it very satisfying that even someone from the world had to acknowledge that her gift was from God, and was obviously made to bring Him glory.

 

[notmyown]

There is no historical record of any woman EVER shooting her husband while he was washing the dishes. As far as we can tell, it has never happened.

well... at the annual secret meeting of wives we decided such good behavior will be rewarded with postponement of any possible consequences of capital crimes.

 

[notmyown]

Stevie Wonder also just called to say I love you.

Stevie who? Wonder what?

eh... it was the 70s. you had to be there.

 

[Ruby123]

There is no historical record of any woman EVER shooting her husband while he was washing the dishes. As far as we can tell, it has never happened.

No she wouldn't whilst he is washing the dishes but perhaps afterwards.

 

[Lanolin]

Who invented the dishwasher machine?
Now it can wash dishes, but it doesnt put them away

 

[Lynx]

Who invented the dishwasher machine?
Now it can wash dishes, but it doesnt put them away

Doesn't even really wash them. You have to wash the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher.

I'd rather just wash them myself. I know they get clean. I don't have to inspect them one at a time after cleaning. I cleaned them myself, not some ineffective machine.

 

[Sculpt]

My answer would be no and yes.

If I know what the non-engiish word means, then no, I feel it the way it was delivered.

I had one girlfriend who may have said something to me in spanish that I didn't understand. She had to explain it to me, and I had to put both those delivers together... and there's no doubt that would have colored the moment.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

Hey Everyone,

This is going to be one of those threads in which the title is going to be interpreted one way -- I think most anyone would say, "Of course 'I love you' is just as meaningful in any language!" But does it "feel" any different to you if you say it, or if someone says it TO YOU in another language?

I've written about this before, so my apologies to anyone who may have read my old thread and might see this as repetitious.

As God brings more people of different backgrounds into my life, this is something I contemplate all the more. And I'm not just talking about "I love you" -- it can be ANY words of affirmation or affection, whether between friends, romantic partners, family members, co-workers, etc.

For example, if your parents speak a native language other than English, does it or would it mean the same if they tell you they're proud of you, or that you're a good son/daughter in their own language vs. if they said it in English? Or if your native language isn't English, does it mean the same to hear kind words in English as it does your own language?

The reason I ask is because I find a very notable difference when someone say something to me in another language vs. in English, though I'm guessing it's because I'm such an emotionally-based person. I don't speak anything other than English, so all I know are a few words and phrases I've tried to learn/memorize in order to communicate with people I care about. It's not that I don't care about other languages, it's just not something that comes naturally to me and I have many other studies/activities that are taking up my time, so I'm doing the best I can.

However, if someone says, "I love you" or "You mean a lot to me", etc., or other words of affirmation to me in another language, I've found that I have to do not just one, but two translations in order to try to understand -- first, my brain has to translate the sounds (something unfamiliar) into English (something familiar,) and then my heart has to translate the association I have with a feeling to what was said.

Being a very word-based person, I have strong feelings/emotional ties to even simple words like "Please" (slight vulnerability) and "Thank you" (gratitude.) I am well aware and frustrated by the limitations of words though, because I don't know if I'm even able to explain this topic adequately in words.

I have several family members and friends who often end their conversation with, "(I) Love you," and if it's not in English, my brain and heart are trying to do the "translations" as quickly as possible, but something always feels off. I guess it's because my heart is permanently etched with an automatic reaction to hearing one set of sounds (responding with the associated emotion,) but has no history or association to other sets of sounds -- even if, by definition, they mean the exact same thing.

Does this ever change? Do you ever feel the same way in reaction to hearing something differently than what you are used to hearing?

All are welcome to answer, but I am especially interested in hearing from those who have a spouse, partner, friends, family, etc., who speak other languages to you.

* What has your experience been? Did you grow up with other languages, and do they feel as natural to you as English? Or if you have a different first language than English, does someone saying "I love you," or other words of affection "feel" the same in English as when said in your native tongue?

* How do you feel when YOU say "I love you" or affirming words back to someone in a language you're not as familiar with? Does have the same emotional weight and impact?

* If you are a more logical person, maybe you don't associate feelings with words as much as others might. Does hearing "I love you," etc. have the same effect on you no matter what language it's said in, because you logically know what the words mean and don't need an emotion to go with it?

I'd really like to know if anyone else experiences this and if it has changed over time (become more or less comfortable, etc.)

And as I think about it, what about the flip side of this?

If someone said, "I hate you," yelled at you or chewed you out in another language (I'm thinking especially of spouses,) would it still affect you the same way?

I'm looking forward to the discussion!

All I can say is that I have had a woman tell me that she loved me in another language, but she lied.