Christian romance pt. 2

[JackiAsi205]

Me and the guy i like talked it out. We both agreed that we don’t know what will happen in the future but all we know is that we both like each other and we wont ever stop being friends if we end up not dating. He checks all my boxes and i check all of his (according to him), and he is an actual Christian this time. The way I see it, if he’s a Christian, he’s cute, and he meets my standards, i dont see why we can’t date. I really want to date him but we both need to work on our sexual sin before we start anything. Not to mention the fact that we live in different states. My mom told me that he is a good guy and that i shouldn’t give up on him. Ive heard many people tell me that God has a good boyfriend for me even though it’s not promised. I also cant stand when people invalidate my feelings for him just because im a freshman in college. I know Im young but that doesn’t mean you have to tell me that it’s “not my time yet” every time I mention a crush. Its very invalidating to me because people have said this when i was in relationships with people. Im an adult, i just want people to stop expecting that i shouldn’t ever like a guy just because im “too young.” People get married at 19 even 16. Its always “just wait til you get to college, boys will start flocking to you” thats simply not true. What makes u think that guys would actually talk to me? And I don’t want just any guy, i want HIM. I’m willing to wait for him if God has a plan for us. It feels like whenever i talk about my romantic feelings, it immediately gets discredited when people see my age.

 

[JackiAsi205]

Me and the guy i like talked it out. We both agreed that we don’t know what will happen in the future but all we know is that we both like each other and we wont ever stop being friends if we end up not dating. He checks all my boxes and i check all of his (according to him), and he is an actual Christian this time. The way I see it, if he’s a Christian, he’s cute, and he meets my standards, i dont see why we can’t date. I really want to date him but we both need to work on our sexual sin before we start anything. Not to mention the fact that we live in different states. My mom told me that he is a good guy and that i shouldn’t give up on him. Ive heard many people tell me that God has a good boyfriend for me even though it’s not promised. I also cant stand when people invalidate my feelings for him just because im a freshman in college. I know Im young but that doesn’t mean you have to tell me that it’s “not my time yet” every time I mention a crush. Its very invalidating to me because people have said this when i was in relationships with people. Im an adult, i just want people to stop expecting that i shouldn’t ever like a guy just because im “too young.” People get married at 19 even 16. Its always “just wait til you get to college, boys will start flocking to you” thats simply not true. What makes u think that guys would actually talk to me? And I don’t want just any guy, i want HIM. I’m willing to wait for him if God has a plan for us. It feels like whenever i talk about my romantic feelings, it immediately gets discredited when people see my age.

I’ve been in college and here, guys just mind their business

 

[tourist]

This guy that you wrote about sounds promising. I would not let the fact that he lives in another state deter you at all. I don't see why you cannot date either. I would seriously consider going for it. I am sure that you have both prayed about this too.

 

[JackiAsi205]

This guy that you wrote about sounds promising. I would not let the fact that he lives in another state deter you at all. I don't see why you cannot date either. I would seriously consider going for it. I am sure that you have both prayed about this too.

We have, im not quite sure what God is telling me. Maybe God wants us to wait and become good friends before dating. I’m just tired of being brushed away because of my age. If I mention that I *like* a guy, not even dating yet. People are so quick to tell me its not my time yet. Im in college, am i not allowed to like guys? All I know is that I really like him, I’m not gonna rush into a relationship this time because that’s what I did last time and even though it was the longest relationship I had, I started to get annoyed with his bad habits. But this guy is someone who I actually don’t see any red flags in. And that’s a first! Red flags are not necessarily the same as flaws. Flaws are small things but red flags are signs that you shouldn’t be with that person. But anyways, he’s honestly the idea guy I would wanna date. He’s very caring and sweet.

 

[EternalFire]

I really want to date him but we both need to work on our sexual sin before we start anything.

It is good you recognize that work needs to occur in the area of preventing sexual sin prior to moving forward with a relationship.

In what ways is this work currently being done?

 

[tourist]

We have, im not quite sure what God is telling me. Maybe God wants us to wait and become good friends before dating. I’m just tired of being brushed away because of my age. If I mention that I *like* a guy, not even dating yet. People are so quick to tell me its not my time yet. Im in college, am i not allowed to like guys? All I know is that I really like him, I’m not gonna rush into a relationship this time because that’s what I did last time and even though it was the longest relationship I had, I started to get annoyed with his bad habits. But this guy is someone who I actually don’t see any red flags in. And that’s a first! Red flags are not necessarily the same as flaws. Flaws are small things but red flags are signs that you shouldn’t be with that person. But anyways, he’s honestly the idea guy I would wanna date. He’s very caring and sweet.

I would go for it. Years of your life are too precious to waste waiting for the perfect guy who does not exist. Based on your description of him I would say that he seems like a keeper, or at least worth pursuing.

 

[tourist]

It is good you recognize that work needs to occur in the area of preventing sexual sin prior to moving forward with a relationship.

In what ways is this work currently being done?

A good way to prevent sexual sin is to get married.

 

[TabinRivCA]

Hi Jacki, I like the pointers already made and I would strongly suggest you make a way of meeting with him in person. At a relatives home would be ideal. Good luck with this and God first🥰👍

 

[ThyKingdomComeSoon]

I’ve been in college and here, guys just mind their business

Hello Jackie,

If you like him, then take this seriously, no red flags great! without having any long term expectations, I would suggest getting to know him better, do things together, you both need to learn about each other. if the match seems good in a few months time, discuss again together what you want to do

Knowing someone well, takes a bit if time.

Blessings to you both and welcome!

 

[JackiAsi205]

It is good you recognize that work needs to occur in the area of preventing sexual sin prior to moving forward with a relationship.

In what ways is this work currently being done?

Im refraining from saying anything sexual currently and if things go down that path i try to create a distraction

 

[JackiAsi205]

Hi Jacki, I like the pointers already made and I would strongly suggest you make a way of meeting with him in person. At a relatives home would be ideal. Good luck with this and God first🥰👍

Im trying to figure out a way to meet up but im not sure how😭

 

[Kyleses]

Im trying to figure out a way to meet up but im not sure how😭

I ended up being in a relationship with a person on the far side of the U.S from me and after 6 months of talking to each other both online and phone we just picked a time that worked and I flew out there for a week to meet. Its better to Meet up in person sooner than later.

 

[JackiAsi205]

I ended up being in a relationship with a person on the far side of the U.S from me and after 6 months of talking to each other both online and phone we just picked a time that worked and I flew out there for a week to meet. Its better to Meet up in person sooner than later.

Believe me im trying. The problem is, his mom said no to him meeting up w me this summer cuz she thinks ima creep who’s going to kill him☠️ (she hasn’t talked to or seen me at all and he’s 18) so im not sure what else to do

 

[JackiAsi205]

A good way to prevent sexual sin is to get married.

But wouldn’t it be unfair to marry just for the sake of sex? Also because we are online friends, we haven’t done anything physically yet

 

[listenyoumustAll]

Me and the guy i like talked it out. We both agreed that we don’t know what will happen in the future but all we know is that we both like each other and we wont ever stop being friends if we end up not dating. He checks all my boxes and i check all of his (according to him), and he is an actual Christian this time. The way I see it, if he’s a Christian, he’s cute, and he meets my standards, i dont see why we can’t date. I really want to date him but we both need to work on our sexual sin before we start anything. Not to mention the fact that we live in different states. My mom told me that he is a good guy and that i shouldn’t give up on him. Ive heard many people tell me that God has a good boyfriend for me even though it’s not promised. I also cant stand when people invalidate my feelings for him just because im a freshman in college. I know Im young but that doesn’t mean you have to tell me that it’s “not my time yet” every time I mention a crush. Its very invalidating to me because people have said this when i was in relationships with people. Im an adult, i just want people to stop expecting that i shouldn’t ever like a guy just because im “too young.” People get married at 19 even 16. Its always “just wait til you get to college, boys will start flocking to you” thats simply not true. What makes u think that guys would actually talk to me? And I don’t want just any guy, i want HIM. I’m willing to wait for him if God has a plan for us. It feels like whenever i talk about my romantic feelings, it immediately gets discredited when people see my age.

hey friend .its good you know to be with a Christian but know this for yourself because people can say anything to get to have sex with anyone and after that keep having sex . ensure who you are with is a believer and consistently working to perfection daily and if stumble is quick to repentance . Do study your bible and wait to hear expressly from God concerning your relationship because being unevenly yoked is a disaster you don't need to experience. Instruction will profit you ,keep a mentor in the word as a voice of affirmation If need be .God bless

 

[Genipher]

Isn't this the same guy who said he likes someone else and is currently "getting over someone"? That would be a big red flag for me:

"There’s a guy who i met online, he has all the green flags. He checks all the boxes, he’s cute. He likes me too i think, he said i check all the boxes. But he also likes one of his girl best friends and she has a bf."

"I have no hope that we will ever get into a relationship because he lives so far away and he’s still getting over someone."
https://christianchat.com/christian...me-advice-on-my-feelings.211591/#post-5103813

Nothing to do with your age but more that HE sounds like a player and you should not only guard against sexual sin, as you mentioned, but guard your heart as well.

 

[tourist]

But wouldn’t it be unfair to marry just for the sake of sex? Also because we are online friends, we haven’t done anything physically yet

Sex is an important part of marriage. The two, male and female cannot become one flesh in the eyes of God unless the marriage is consummated. Even Paul has said that it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Hopefully, the man that you are interested is or will eventually become your best friend and the feeling is mutual.

The logistical challenge of living in different states can be worked out. I know, and many others know, from experience, that this obstacle can be overcome. Unless you are marrying the girl or boy next door there will be a certain amount of distance. This is to be expected.

What would really be unfair is to deny yourself a loving and faithful relationship because of what others may say in an attempt to sway your perceptions in a negative way. That is why it is important to pray to God for clarity on how best to proceed. It is obvious that you are praying about this on how to best proceed, in one way or another.

As you have said, there are no apparent red flags. That is a good thing.

God has said that it is not good to be alone. I would use that as the startng point on whether or not to pursue this prospective relationship.

I will pray that this endeavor, regardless how it ends, is to the best interest for you and the man that you are very much interested in.

 

[JackiAsi205]

Isn't this the same guy who said he likes someone else and is currently "getting over someone"? That would be a big red flag for me:

"There’s a guy who i met online, he has all the green flags. He checks all the boxes, he’s cute. He likes me too i think, he said i check all the boxes. But he also likes one of his girl best friends and she has a bf."

"I have no hope that we will ever get into a relationship because he lives so far away and he’s still getting over someone."
https://christianchat.com/christian...me-advice-on-my-feelings.211591/#post-5103813

Nothing to do with your age but more that HE sounds like a player and you should not only guard against sexual sin, as you mentioned, but guard your heart as well.

The red flag isn’t necessarily that he likes someone else and me, he told me that he is uncertain that we will date in the future cuz he’s still tryna get over someone and be wants to see how busy he is once school starts again

 

[JackiAsi205]

Sex is an important part of marriage. The two, male and female cannot become one flesh in the eyes of God unless the marriage is consummated. Even Paul has said that it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Hopefully, the man that you are interested is or will eventually become your best friend and the feeling is mutual.

The logistical challenge of living in different states can be worked out. I know, and many others know, from experience, that this obstacle can be overcome. Unless you are marrying the girl or boy next door there will be a certain amount of distance. This is to be expected.

What would really be unfair is to deny yourself a loving and faithful relationship because of what others may say in an attempt to sway your perceptions in a negative way. That is why it is important to pray to God for clarity on how best to proceed. It is obvious that you are praying about this on how to best proceed, in one way or another.

As you have said, there are no apparent red flags. That is a good thing.

God has said that it is not good to be alone. I would use that as the startng point on whether or not to pursue this prospective relationship.

I will pray that this endeavor, regardless how it ends, is to the best interest for you and the man that you are very much interested in.

What should we do if we’ve already fallin into sexual sin many times? Is there any hope for us? We haven’t had sex yet and i dont know if i would if we met in person cuz im a bit of a coward. But all i can say is that he’s seen some stuff.

 

[tourist]

What should we do if we’ve already fallin into sexual sin many times? Is there any hope for us? We haven’t had sex yet and i dont know if i would if we met in person cuz im a bit of a coward. But all i can say is that he’s seen some stuff.

Regarding sexual sin, confess to God and then move forward in a positive direction.