Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12...at this point all he had was a promise from GOD, but had seen NOTHING to lead to a fulfilling of it. He had been waiting decades. I can understand his frustration.
His waiting should have been in hope, not exasperation. God singularly came to him and poured out His affections on him. He spoke to him personally and audibly. God made a habit of meeting him regularly. God continually blessed him and rescued him from his troubles. Abraham enjoyed a life like few others.
But Abraham was a man of like passions as us. And just as he had difficulty waiting on the Lord, so do you and most people. Your waiting, unfortunately, has made you bitter.
Not sure if God's plan includes a wife in your future or not. But even if God provided one, based on the things you have related, you would not be a very good husband. Successful marriages aren't about what an individual wants. It's about what the other person wants. In denying yourself, you bless your mate as your desire now becomes whatever her desire is. In meeting her desire, she finds life in you. It is only in dying to self that causes others to live.
No one can live selflessly this way apart from the life of Christ in them. And that won't happen until you are satisfied in Him alone. You are trying to find satisfaction in a wife. You will not find it there. Only God can satisfy the deepest longings of the human heart. He made us this way on purpose and for our highest good. The greatest thing God can give us is Himself. That's why He told Abraham...I will be your reward.
My advice is to seek after God with all your heart. If you do, you will surely find Him. And you will find Him to be all satisfying.