Hey Everyone,
Once Upon a Time when the forum was very active, we used to have a regular flow of people who would disappear and come back under different names. I'm sure we still have this happen all the time, and I certainly understand the reasons why, but back then it was much more obvious because people were posting frequently, and sometimes it's hard to hide who you are -- even if it's from behind a screen.
Sometimes the regulars would openly confront the most obvious cases, most often when it was someone who had been banned and was trying to come back.
But what about the cases in which you recognize someone you used to talk to online, whether romantically or just as a friendship, then they "ghost" you (disappear,) but come back under a different name -- and you are pretty sure you recognize it's them?
Way back in my early days of forums (you know, when we were still chiseling messages on stone tablets
,) I was brand-new to the scene and hadn't found a username that really felt like "me," so I experimented with maybe 3 or 4 names. But even then, it was always a dead giveaway because I almost always used "Seoul" as part of my name, and so I resigned myself to the fact that my online name, unless something dire happened (such as stalking,) would pretty much always stay the same.
Over the years, we've seen tons of users come and go under various names, and while I certainly don't recognize all the ones who come back, every now and then, I notice a "new" name that has an awful lot in common with a "former" member. For instance, family, work, and life situations are ringing familiar and would be difficult to keep track of if someone was trying to present a new background for each new name.
Now I'm trying to remember... I don't think I've ever confronted someone unless I was concerned about their welfare under their old name and just wanted to ask if they were ok. But otherwise, unless they bring up their old name (or if it's a formerly banned user,) I figure they've done it for a reason and want to remain anonymous (or only associated with a new identity.)
Like most people, sometimes I may have grown attached to the person but if they don't contact me under their new name to specifically tell me it's them, I figure it must be for a reason and they've moved on. Though I've made some great friends here, there have also been hundreds of other times when there was casual or friendly conversation that faded away naturally as life went its separate ways, which is completely understandable. But that doesn't stop us from being human, and I'll be the first to admit that sometimes it hurts.
What about the rest of you?
* Have you had time when someone ghosted you, but you see them back under a new name?
* Do you choose to confront them, or not say anything and let them pass by?
* What circumstances would lead you to saying something to them, or choosing not to say anything at all?
I personally believe that the internet and social media are like anything else in life -- they are tools that have their own pro's and con's.
And the ability to disappear without a moment's notice, and then "reappear" as a "new" member with a fresh slate, could be see as both a pro and a con, depending on which side of the screen you are on.
How do you react when you run into someone you once knew, and they choose not to acknowledge you under their new identity?
Once Upon a Time when the forum was very active, we used to have a regular flow of people who would disappear and come back under different names. I'm sure we still have this happen all the time, and I certainly understand the reasons why, but back then it was much more obvious because people were posting frequently, and sometimes it's hard to hide who you are -- even if it's from behind a screen.
Sometimes the regulars would openly confront the most obvious cases, most often when it was someone who had been banned and was trying to come back.
But what about the cases in which you recognize someone you used to talk to online, whether romantically or just as a friendship, then they "ghost" you (disappear,) but come back under a different name -- and you are pretty sure you recognize it's them?
Way back in my early days of forums (you know, when we were still chiseling messages on stone tablets
,) I was brand-new to the scene and hadn't found a username that really felt like "me," so I experimented with maybe 3 or 4 names. But even then, it was always a dead giveaway because I almost always used "Seoul" as part of my name, and so I resigned myself to the fact that my online name, unless something dire happened (such as stalking,) would pretty much always stay the same. Over the years, we've seen tons of users come and go under various names, and while I certainly don't recognize all the ones who come back, every now and then, I notice a "new" name that has an awful lot in common with a "former" member. For instance, family, work, and life situations are ringing familiar and would be difficult to keep track of if someone was trying to present a new background for each new name.
Now I'm trying to remember... I don't think I've ever confronted someone unless I was concerned about their welfare under their old name and just wanted to ask if they were ok. But otherwise, unless they bring up their old name (or if it's a formerly banned user,) I figure they've done it for a reason and want to remain anonymous (or only associated with a new identity.)
Like most people, sometimes I may have grown attached to the person but if they don't contact me under their new name to specifically tell me it's them, I figure it must be for a reason and they've moved on. Though I've made some great friends here, there have also been hundreds of other times when there was casual or friendly conversation that faded away naturally as life went its separate ways, which is completely understandable. But that doesn't stop us from being human, and I'll be the first to admit that sometimes it hurts.
What about the rest of you?
* Have you had time when someone ghosted you, but you see them back under a new name?
* Do you choose to confront them, or not say anything and let them pass by?
* What circumstances would lead you to saying something to them, or choosing not to say anything at all?
I personally believe that the internet and social media are like anything else in life -- they are tools that have their own pro's and con's.
And the ability to disappear without a moment's notice, and then "reappear" as a "new" member with a fresh slate, could be see as both a pro and a con, depending on which side of the screen you are on.
How do you react when you run into someone you once knew, and they choose not to acknowledge you under their new identity?
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